the one who lives in my body

At that moment, my hair stood on end, and the moment I looked at him, I felt as if I was burned by something. I instinctively avoided my sight.

"Xie Dongrong, the doctor just told me about your situation." After closing the door, I walked in slowly, as if feeling guilty, with my eyes lingering on the floor, "I heard that you suddenly stopped taking medicine after you came back?"

As I approached, Xie Dongrong was staring at me with his neck up. After a long time, he slowly raised the corners of his lips: "This has nothing to do with you."

Fists clenched slightly.

"The princess is very worried about you..."

Xie Dongrong suddenly laughed, "You think this matter has nothing to do with you, so you came to ask me?"

Obviously, his attitude was normal before the arrival of the doctor, but when this matter was involved, his words became sharper. This person has always been like this, changing his face faster than turning the pages of a book.

"Xie Dongrong, I think you are also aware that we have been lying to the doctor all this time, and now you have something wrong with your body, and judging by your condition, I think..."

"Do you think there is something wrong with me?" Xie Dongrong raised his eyebrows and asked me not to be outdone, "Do I look like a patient?"

"...Your own situation, you know best." It's unbearable, I don't know why this guy insists on arguing with me at this time, how can I tell him that in my opinion, he is indeed abnormal?

As if amused by me, Xie Dongrong stood up, the quilt slipped slowly from his legs, his eyes were attracted by a strange phenomenon, at that moment I stayed where I was, the hotness of my cheeks and the coldness of my body grew out of my body at the same time , although it is not that Xie Dongrong has never faced such a situation, but after all...

"Indeed, if you don't inject inhibitors, there will be some problems." Like a predator sniffing the scent of prey, Xie Dongrong's footsteps are light and slow, but they can't be ignored. "It's just that I can't control my body." He smiled. He walked over to me, slowly placed his palm on my shoulder, and pressed down hard, almost restraining my movements.

Sensing my gaze, Xie Dongrong's gaze was slightly lowered, and after a pause for a few seconds, he smiled proudly instead of ashamed.

"You are the most familiar, aren't you?" He leaned over and whispered in my ear.

The heat in my ears seems to have already wetted my ears, the narrow room, the entangled body, in an instant, those scenes that seemed to appear in a dream appeared in my mind, familiar?Yes, indeed familiar.

Forced myself to come back to my senses, gritted my teeth and raised my hand, trying to push his hand on my shoulder away, but due to the difference in strength, I couldn't shake him at all.

"Tao Shu, do you know? After injecting that medicine, your body will be very cold." He gently pulled my wrist, staring at me with his blue eyes, his eyelashes trembling slightly, "Lying on the bed, I can't cover it with a quilt." Warm temperature."

"The leaves are rustling, and the wind from Amut Star seems to have passed through the barrier of the mecha and directly invaded my body. At this time, I will think of you. You said you loved me so gently, but you didn't even say hello." left."

"Sometimes I feel very lonely, and sometimes, looking at the blood in my hand, I realize that the war is not over yet, and I have become inhuman." Like a python gradually tightening its coils, "Punishment, or compensation ?”

"When my body is cold, I can't help fantasizing. Your body, your expression, and your eyes make me hot. You leave me, but I yearn for you like a dog. You say You will stay by my side before, but actually? What did I do wrong? Why didn’t you tell me? At that time, I swore that when I returned to the earth, I would definitely not get any more injections.” Said, slowly , Xie Dongrong put my finger on his lips, "What do you think? Tao Shu?"

Staring at him, as if my body was imprisoned in a small wax figure, I was speechless.

"Or, do you want me to inject too?" Xie Dongrong smiled.

"That's your freedom." Withdrawing my hand, I stepped back as if waking up from a dream.

"You have the right to ask me." Slowly, Xie Dongrong turned his eyes and said softly, "I will listen to you."

What?For a while, I didn't understand what he was talking about, I didn't know his intention to do this, and I didn't know why: "No, Xie Dongrong, I don't have the right to decide this kind of thing for you."

"..."

Silence, long silence.

"Tao Shu, let's make up."

"..."

My brain went blank for a long time, and I couldn't figure out why the topic suddenly changed here...

"We've never had a fight," I finally said.

"You know what I mean." Xie Dongrong's voice was deep, but it sounded a little fragile.

"...Xie Dongrong, it is impossible for us to become like before." In the end, I can only say this.

The sound of leather shoes stepping on the floor, Xie Dongrong approached, with normal reflex, I took a few steps back.

"It's not going to be what it used to be... I'll do it well." Xie Dongrong raised his hand and grabbed my cuff, but he didn't use too much force, just pulled it slightly.

I didn't dare to look him in the eyes, maybe because I knew it would soften my heart, "It doesn't matter if we do well or not, I actually thought about it for a long time, we are not suitable."

"You did those things to me, but in the end you said we were not suitable?" Xie Dongrong's tone seemed to be trying to suppress his emotions, "Tao Shu, there is no reason for you to do this."

Doesn't make sense?those things?Looking up at him, I found that he might also be angry, "There is no reason in this world, Xie Dongrong, so let me ask you now, you used to trample on me, ignore me, and lose your temper with me for no reason , Never even cared about me, are these all reasonable? Even if you treat any dignified human being, what is the reason for you like that? Have you ever counted how much you hurt me? As long as one day you are still standing in front of me , it is impossible for me to forget."

Xie Dongrong was silent, his eyes flashed with confusion, he lowered his head, "It's fine if you don't forget, and tell me all the grievances you suffer in the future, don't be angry." The low volume seemed to suggest that he had suffered some grievances.

"I don't care about these things. Let the past things pass by. Don't mention the reconciliation things."

"No." As if in a hurry, Xie Dongrong came over, he took my hand, "I have to mention..."

I tried my best to break free from his confinement, but found that he had exerted ten percent of his strength, "Let go!" I looked up at him, only to find that he was staring at me, getting closer and almost kissing me.

"Xie Dongrong!" Out of fear, almost uncontrollably, with a muffled bang, I punched Xie Dongrong in the face.

Because of fear, I wanted to distance myself from Xie Dongrong, so I couldn't help but retreat, and I almost sat on the desk.

"Calm down?" With a chuckle, Xie Dongrong turned his face again, his eyes were slightly red, "Being thrown in an alien planet for no reason, three years, no matter how uncomfortable, I will wait for you to give me an explanation, after returning, But I found out that you are even planning to marry someone else." As he spoke, Xie Dongrong tilted his head and looked at me as if he thought it was ridiculous, "You kept saying that you liked me, why didn't I see it? "

Is this man accusing me?Looking at his slightly red and swollen face, I don't know why the two emotions of hatred and distress can exist in one person at the same time, "We broke up normally, and I fell in love with others normally. I don't think I did anything wrong." But in the end, I just choose to state the fact calmly.

"Break up?" Xie Dongrong repeated the word dreamily, "No...no points."

"I told you three times."

Xie Dongrong stood where he was, only shook his head lightly, in a daze: "No..."

"I wrote a letter, and I put it in the letter-basket in your room."

"I didn't see it." After saying these three words, Xie Dongrong laughed instead, "You left without explaining..." He took two steps back, sat on the edge of the bed, lowered his head, stretched his slender fingers into his hair, Scratching, "I've been waiting for you, I've been waiting for you..."

So he didn't receive that letter?The emergence of this thought suddenly connected all the abnormalities before, and the feeling of guilt rose in my heart?disturbed?Or is it distressing?For a while, my steps were stilted, my chest was stuffy, and I felt very uncomfortable. I stared at Xie Dongrong who was sitting on the edge of the bed, and I couldn't help but ask myself, why did he ever do this?

I walked up to him and was at a loss for a moment. I squatted down on one knee, raised my hand, and gently held his head. He raised his eyes and looked over. Only then did I realize that his eyes were full of tears.

"No points..." Staring at me, Xie Dongrong only repeated these three words, endless grievances seemed to be hidden in his blue eyes.

I have never seen Xie Dongrong cry, so I can only hug him in the current posture, and gently stroke his back, but I can't say a word.

Xie Dongrong was stunned for a moment, then he folded his arms and hugged me tightly. I almost knelt on the ground, and he sat on the edge of the bed. It was like this. I don’t know how long he hugged me, until he rubbed my ear and bit my tongue. My earlobe, I exerted a little force and pushed him away.

Facing Xie Dongrong's expression, I could barely utter some words, "The past is over, it's all a misunderstanding... Now that I have made it clear, I just..."

As if anticipating what I would say next, Xie Dongrong raised his head suddenly, "So you don't want me now?" Xie Dongrong stared at me with a sullen expression on his face.

I don't particularly understand what his so-called "want" is, but his attitude seems to be that I am a wolf-hearted heartless person, "Xie Dongrong, strictly speaking...you have always wanted me."

"No." Xie Dongrong grabbed my arm, "Never." His expression was a little lonely.

I simply wonder if this person has some kind of amnesia, but now, it's useless to argue, "Actually, it's useless to argue about these issues now, we broke up, this is a matter..."

"Impossible," Xie Dongrong suddenly grabbed me by the neckline, pulled me forward forcefully and skillfully, and hugged me tightly by the waist: "Tao Shu, how did you chase me back then? Now you Breaking up with me like this? Let me tell you, it's impossible."

"This way?" I don't know what he meant by "this way". I was imprisoned by him, and I was almost forced to lie on his body. The heat of my body made me want to escape, so I couldn't help bending my legs , Xie Dongrong let out a muffled snort, the stiffness I felt below gave me the answer, for a moment I didn't know what expression to make, should I swear or punch him?I didn't dare to move, and let Xie Dongrong bite my ear with ruthless force. If he was angry and bit it off, I wouldn't be surprised at all.

"It's all your fault..." Muffled, Xie Dongrong's voice came from above, and I could feel the slight vibration of his chest cavity with my close ears. The current posture made me feel embarrassed, and I tried to support the distance of an arm, I heard He smiled and asked, "What did I do to you?"

So, in his opinion, is this called "harm"?

"Seeing me like this, are you happy?" I heard Xie Dongrong's suppressed voice trembling, crying, "Just like you..."

It’s just a normal physiological reaction, and it’s a very normal thing in my heart, but at this moment I realized that maybe, in Xie Dongrong’s heart, this is a complete crime, as if I first led him to the abyss That should not be, it can be called a perverted bad thing.

"You can't even blame me for this." Half-smiling, looking at the crumpled sheets, I heard myself say.

"This room is full of your smell." Xie Dongrong's hand reached into the hem of his clothes, his palm was no longer as delicate as usual, with a thin layer of calluses, itchy and painful everywhere he went, "you play with you My own voice...you fantasize about me touching you like that..." He spoke slowly, as if he was caught in lingering memories, his tone was slightly hazy.

Memories of my youth broke into my mind suddenly, and when I realized what Xie Dongrong was talking about, my body trembled like a conditioned reflex. What I didn't expect was that this matter would be brought up by him again after many years...

Yet just as I looked up, gently, he covered my eyes.

There was darkness in front of me, and I heard his chuckle, "Tao Shu, don't look at me like that."

"You know what? Some people get hurt and have scars that last a lifetime."

"In the past, I thought it was ugly, and I always wanted to peel it off, to let it leave my body."

"Then I tried to reconcile with it, admitting that it was part of my body, my body, my unique characteristic."

"I never thought about what it would be like to have it peeled off for life. I just watched myself bleeding non-stop and felt my body was so cold. I suddenly realized that if this continues, I'm afraid it won't work."

"For three years, I was full of expectations to see you again, and survived on drugs."

"If you don't want to, I think I can pursue you again."

The author says:

This chapter made me vomit blood...