the one who lives in my body

"Brother Shu, I'm very sorry for leaving without saying goodbye, please don't be sad, and don't doubt yourself, everything I do now is only after careful consideration.

I owe you a lot of explanations, I don't even know where to start, I'm so sorry, I think the root of all this may just be because we met too late, you have loved that person since you were a child, I have advised I have lived through myself, I have also struggled with pain in my heart, and I have thought about letting go, not forcing, just keeping you by my side like that, how good it is.

But in the end I still can't do it, I don't love another person unreservedly like Brother Shu, your heart has become an unbreakable city, even if you are so gentle, I also know, you are not love me once.

During the days and nights spent with you under the same roof, my body and mind are frantically urging me to give everything I have to this person in front of me, even if you may not accept it, I even I can feel that if I continue to get along with you, one more year, one month, or even one day, I may fall in love with you uncontrollably and unreservedly.

I also know that I can use despicable means to force you to stay by my side, even, I have already tried.

Fortunately, the actual obstruction reminded me to brake the car in time.

Fortunately, my self-esteem does not allow me to fall in love with a soul that belongs to others, or maybe you at this moment only belong to yourself, anyway, I know, it will not belong to me.

Brother Shu is the best choice I have met in my life. It makes me want to lose control, but at the same time, I have to shrink back because of your self-restraint.

I want to tell Brother Shu that you are a person worthy of being loved.

Brother Shu always thinks that I am a simple person, but in fact, only in front of Brother Shu, I will become like that. Brother Shu is really stupid, and I don’t even think about it. A child who grew up in such an environment, How can you be so pure when you grow up?

How I wish I could live happily as a carefree teenager according to Brother Shu's imagination.

But after all I am not.

The person who understands me best in this world may be An Boyan. He is a very dangerous person who desperately needs an emotional outlet.

And I was unfortunately such an "export".

The failure to obtain the certificate three times may be just a warning. When I realized this, he had already threatened me.

The pathetic plan of us little people, in the face of monstrous power, is really just a sand painting that can be erased at any time.

After all, I can't escape his palm.

It would be fine if I hadn't met him, but then I might not have met you, Brother Shu, and I always feel a little regretful.

So I leave.

I have thought about countless possibilities, if there were no those people, would we be able to be together in an ordinary way.

Oh no, in that case, a shining person like Brother Shu wouldn't look down and see the dingy me buried in the dust.

So fate tricks people.

Maybe someone like An Boyan is the most suitable for me.

It would be great if I could see Brother Shu again. I still have a lot to say to Brother Shu, and Brother Shu should know.

But there is no time.

Just treat it as selfish, I want to see Brother Shu again..."

The letter was folded and placed in the bottom drawer.

If there is no accident, it should not be opened again.

The three years of ordinary life with him were like a phantom in the long years, and also like a dream.

After waking up, it is still a flashy and dangerous life.

If I was the choice that An Jingtong gave up after weighing the pros and cons, I have nothing to say.

But this letter tells me that this may not be the case.

After that, I met with Xie Dongrong twice.

It's called to talk about business, but without exception, it's like wasting time going out for nothing, just going to have a meal with this person in a high-end restaurant, go to a private theater to watch a movie, or even go to In some high-end entertainment clubs, I met some people I usually don't see.

It is indeed very busy to do all these things. As long as Xie Dongrong does not intentionally irritate others, he is impeccable when he is careful, and he will not even distract you from thinking about other things.

But every night, when I reflect on the itinerary of the day, I find that at the end of the day, I have not done one thing. Although the things I have done are covered with a gorgeous shell, they are meaningless after all.

Then the discussions that should have been completed a long time ago had to be postponed until the next day.

But at night, Xie Dongrong would use this to raise the topic, mixed with business, so I had to deal with it, and finally we talked until bedtime, and ended with the two sides saying good night to each other.

Several times I couldn't bear it anymore, trying to get rid of this atmosphere, but being bypassed by him indiscriminately, it was unbearable.

To sum it up, since the last unpleasant meeting ended, Xie Dongrong seemed to have suddenly read a mysterious book from heaven. After studying for a while, he couldn't wait to come to me to practice.

If it was another little girl, or the me who used to be, if he messed with her like this, she might have given her sincerity regardless, thinking that she was in love with this person.

But I know Xie Dongrong well enough, how could he suddenly say good things?

He is definitely suppressing bad things, and then trying to fix people. After all, he is such a proud person. It is a daydream for him to treat another person so wholeheartedly and humbly.

feel a little scared.

The third time we met was in a park not far from my mother’s residence. It happened to be the day after I checked into the Mecha Manufacturing Center. According to the regulations of the Mecha Manufacturing Center, after returning to the base tonight, the contract will come into force. , I have to devote myself to mech manufacturing, and I can no longer go out casually. I can't help but breathe a sigh of relief when I think of this. It seems that this is the last time I meet Xie Dongrong in an informal setting.

Today, he is still charming. Standing at the fountain in the center of the park, the sunlight reflected the water, lighting up his side face. The moment I saw him, I couldn’t help squinting. To be honest, I was a little shaken. arrive.

prince.

This word appeared in my mind unexpectedly, and when I walked up to him, I already felt the surprised eyes around me.

Because he didn't stab me in these few meetings, it's not easy for me to take Joe in front of him. If it's just normal communication, I can bear it.

"You're going to move to the mecha manufacturing center." Naturally, I started talking, and I followed his footsteps and started to walk slowly along the path by the lakeside of the park.

"Well, I feel like I've been moving quite frequently recently." Smelling the grassy air by the lake, I replied.

"If you don't want to move, you can apply." Xie Dongrong's voice was very gentle. In fact, we rarely communicate with each other calmly. I'm trying to get used to it.

"No need, I don't want to be special." I just want to finish these tasks quickly, and return to Nancheng as soon as possible after seeing An Jingtong.

Xie Dongrong fell silent, and after a while, he stopped.

I looked back at him and saw that he was looking away, slightly dazed.

I followed his gaze--

The boy was holding a pink and white garland, chasing after another little girl with loose hair, with tears in his eyes, muttering: "Wait a minute! I haven't put it on for you yet..."

He was very persistent, even though he was still young, it was very difficult to follow the girl, but he still pursued persistently, holding a wreath, and wanted the little girl to accept his kindness.

But the little girl just looked back at him from a distance. When he finally ran close, she giggled again and ran away, as if she was watching the boy's one-man show alone.

In the boy's hand, the flowers on the wreath are very familiar.

Ching Chestnut Flower, I never thought that after so many years, I still remember the name of that flower.

"Remember? You also had one before." Jokingly, I said to Xie Dongrong.

"Hmm..." Xie Dongrong murmured like a dream, "Tell me, why did he insist on letting her wear it?"

Looking at the figure in the distance, I suddenly fell into a very nostalgic mood, "Maybe I just think it suits that person very well."

"Suitable?" Xie Dongrong repeated the word.

Unlike me who likes to admire him so much, Xie Dongrong does not have a very specific understanding of his own appearance, "If you like something, you naturally want it to be related to yourself."

Hearing this, Xie Dongrong fell silent, and I also realized that maybe I shouldn't mention this to him: "Speaking of which, you are really getting better at cleaning yourself up, prince? I thought of this word the first time I saw you, Very elegant, very... noble?"

There's nothing wrong with complimenting someone, especially when you don't know what to say.

Embarrassing, very embarrassing, when did the relationship between me and Xie Dongrong become so awkward?I just want to laugh.

Xie Dongrong looked at me and was stunned. After a long time, he replied: "Really? As long as you like it."

Yuemo is that the weather is right at this moment, and the birds flying by not far away are also singing just right, staring at Xie Dongrong, suddenly, I really want to tell him all my feelings these days, "Honestly speaking... I don't feel used to it. When I go out with you these days, I always feel that you are a different person. I admit that you are very attractive now. I feel that you can capture a girl and take it home as a wife...but ..."

Dizzy, dry mouth, sometimes I just don't know what I'm talking about, Xie Dongrong's ambiguous attitude makes me uncomfortable, but I can't damn myself pull myself away from everything in front of me.

Xie Dongrong walked to my side, he smiled rarely, "Why are you saying this all of a sudden?"

"It's just a feeling."

"Actually, when I was on the mothership, some female instructors joked with me." Xie Dongrong said, "They said, I don't look like a qualified lover."

I was a little puzzled, why did Xie Dongrong suddenly mention this?

"I don't believe it, I think I can do it well... If my lover is here, do you think what I have done these days is still qualified?" Xie Dongrong raised the corners of his lips and asked me with a smile.

It took me ten seconds to make myself understand what he meant.

Is Xie Dongrong asking this question?Treat future lovers like this?

I don't know if he is really implying something, but at this point, the gentleness of the previous meeting suddenly has an answer, and the truth is no longer important to me.

There is no anger, no sadness, more, a little helplessness.

So when it comes to things like love, it is really that the predecessors plant trees and the descendants enjoy the shade.

"Now you should be barely qualified, if you can maintain it well." I said, "It's very lucky, that person."

"But we came out to talk about business. I won't accompany this kind of experiment next time."

However, there will be no next time,

Staring at Xie Dongrong, can he maintain this humility for more than a month?I do not believe.

His true nature hidden under the surface is probably clamoring to appear.

The author says:

a little bit Calvin