Brother Christine

"Brother," the person buried in his arms was a little out of breath, and said in a muffled voice, "You strangled me so tightly."

Quickly raised his hand to wipe his tears and let go of Shen Qing, Jiang Xiao cleared his throat, "I'm sorry."

"You are crying." Shen Qing looked into his eyes.

"This wind is so touching." Jiang Xiao wiped his eyes and smiled.

"You fart," Shen Qing raised his hand to touch his eyes, touched his wet and hot eyelashes with his fingers, and stared at him, "The wind can't blow your eyes that are always hot, what's wrong with you?"

"I'm in a bad mood," Jiang Xiao lowered his head and let out a breath, "Can you stop asking?"

"Then will you tell me this time?" Shen Qing asked.

Jiang Xiao was silent, and looked up at him.

Shen Qing locked his eyes tightly.

"Shen Qing," Jiang Xiao took his hand and rubbed it back and forth in his palm, "Shen Qing, give me some time to be alone, is that okay?"

"You never answer my questions."

"meeting."

He had already made a choice, now there is nothing to worry about, and there is nothing to avoid, Shen Qing and him are the ones who are bound together, he knows who loves him the most, he will not lie to him, and he does not want to hide it from him anymore.

It's just not the right time tonight.

His state is not high enough to calmly reveal his own scars to others, especially the freshly cut wounds that are still bloody.

Jiang Xiao hugged Shen Qing again, leaned against his face, and said softly: "Shen Qing, give me some time first."

Shen Qingyuan thought it was just a cover for his brother to take him out for a walk. In the afternoon, he silently repeated the names and routes of several love hotels that he was optimistic about along the way, just waiting for his brother to ask "Where are we going?" Take his brother to the big bed room to have a good time.

But his brother is obviously not in the mood now, Shen Qing stared at his brother's red eyes for a long time, and finally had no choice but to give up.

"It's 10:30," Shen Qing took out the mobile phone in his brother's pocket, looked at it, and asked, "Going back?"

"I don't want to go back." Jiang Xiao tightened his hand.

"Then..." Shen Qing still couldn't help but tentatively asked: "Going to stay in a hotel?"

Jiang Xiao looked at him silently.

Shen Qing immediately lowered her head and touched her nose in embarrassment.

The two of them stopped in the cold wind under the lamppost, and looked at each other quietly for a while, until Jiang Xiao's stomach started to hurt again, and the sweat broke out on his forehead, and finally wanted to find a place to settle down.

After drinking again, he didn't dare to tell Shen Qing that he was not feeling well. Jiang Xiao gritted his teeth, took the phone and turned his back to him, and called his buddy who dropped out of junior high school in Pinglong Town.

"Hey, brother Xiao," the other party smiled in surprise, "I haven't contacted you for a long time, and you can go to the Three Treasures Hall if you have nothing to do!"

"I'll stay with you for two days," Jiang Xiao asked in a low voice, covering his stomach, "Is it convenient?"

"That's necessary!" The other party should be straightforward: "I think my place was always your refuge back then! What's the matter, it's Chinese New Year, and you have conflicts with your family again?"

"Visiting you."

"Okay," the other party smiled helplessly: "Come on, I'll clean up your room."

"Is there anything you need?" Jiang Xiao said, "I'll bring it to you."

"Hey, what's wrong with me?" The other party joked, thought for a while, and said, "If you have to bring it, bring me a pair of cotton slippers. There must be fluffy ones. I have worn sandals at home for a year. Have been too lazy to change."

"Okay." Jiang Xiao hung up the phone, put the phone back in his pocket, frowned again from the pain, and raised his hand to wipe away the cold sweat.

"Follow me to the hospital first." The person behind him stared at him with a cold voice.

Jiang Xiao smiled softly, looked back at him, raised his hand, and teasingly nodded on the unhappy man's nose, laughing, "Okay."

Shen Qing didn't bother to pay attention to him, she gave him a blank look, grabbed the man's hand and left.

Shen Qing hated his brother for this, concealed everything and did not report it, no matter how many crimes he suffered, he deserved it.

Walking along the road while looking for a car, he finally took a taxi and took someone to the hospital to get some medicine, but Jiang Xiao refused to take any more films, there was nothing in his stomach, Shen Qing wanted to know, and took him to dinner again.

He was very tired today, so tired that even Shen Qing didn't want to see him again.

Seeing people in a bad mood, Shen Qing didn't force it, and went back by car as before.

He didn't take his mobile phone. In the afternoon, he bought octopus at the market. He still had some change, which he kept in his trouser pocket.

"The box is under the bed, the computer and the charging cable are on the table, and you don't need to take the slippers in the bathroom. I'll buy them myself later. Do me a favor. I'll pick you up at the corner of the sixth floor later, and I won't come in."

The two stood by the entrance of the building, Jiang Xiao held Shen Qing's hand with one hand, and wiped off the small dead leaves that fell on his shoulders with the other hand, lowered his head and laughed at himself, "I used to laugh at you, I won't pretend to be A good son, he deserves to make mother angry, but now I envy you, at least you can look like yourself."

"Will you come back?" Shen Qing couldn't help becoming nervous when she heard that someone was about to carry her luggage.

He didn't think their father could make his brother do this by answering his brother's phone call by mistake, or saying angry words to the third child.But the more his brother didn't speak, the more he had a bad premonition.

"I don't know," Jiang Xiao lowered his head, looked at the deep black crack on the cement floor at his feet, and repeated, "I don't know."

He doesn't know this home, what else is worth his nostalgia.

"Brother," Shen Qing looked at him: "Mom said that I will fry octopus for you on the day you leave, and the ingredients are all bought."

"Go now," Jiang Xiao nudged him, "I still have to buy slippers, and the supermarket will be closed in a while."

"You're not coming back, are you?" Shen Qing stared at him, standing still and refusing to move.

"Shen Qing," Jiang Xiao lowered his head and let out a heavy breath. He wiped his face and looked up at him: "It's enough for me to have you, you know? I'll go back to school to move the dormitory in a few days, and I'll wait for you. We are going to have our own home, I don't want to care about anything in the future, I just want to be with you, you know? I'm very annoying now, can you stop asking anything, and I will tell you when I want to Let me tell you, do you understand?!"

His eyes were getting bloodshot gradually, with more and more urgent ruthlessness, his impatient tone beat his calm heartbeat, Shen Qing stared at his brother in astonishment, and unconsciously let go of his hand.

The drunkenness has not completely dissipated, the mind is still dazed, the cold wind blows at night, and the body is hot and cold alternately, Jiang Xiao lowered his head and coughed a few times, took the medicine bag in Shen Qing's hand, grabbed his wrist, and pulled him into the building , "Go, go get your luggage."

Shen Qing also turned cold, tried her best to break away from his brother's hand, pushed him aside vigorously, turned her head and stepped on the stairs first.

It slammed into the wall with a loud bang, and his spine hit the protruding nail surface of the old gray wall, Jiang Xiao hissed in pain.He frowned and glanced up, looking at the people who just walked forward without looking back, suddenly remembered their past.

In the past, he also pushed Shen Qing in the same way. He pushed the person onto a big tree trunk covered with hard lumps, and Shen Qing felt the same pain as him.

Pulling his lips and laughing self-deprecatingly, just as he was about to call out to that person, a tingling breath suddenly shot up in his lungs, Jiang Xiao lowered his head and coughed a few more times.

The person had gone far away, and the other party could not hear him, so he didn't say anything more, dragging his tired body, bending over and struggling to climb the stairs step by step behind him.

As soon as Shen Qing entered the room, she took off her coat, burst into resentment, threw his brother's clothes on the sofa, and made a muffled sound.

It was almost eleven o'clock, and the house was pitch black. The person who was sleeping in the master bedroom heard the movement, and yelled in a daze, "Jiang Xiao! What are you doing!"

Shen Qing ignored it, turned around and went to his brother's room to help someone pack things.

He vigorously and violently turned on the light, mercilessly pulled out the box from under the bed, and then yanked open the cabinet, staring lightly at the two rows of densely packed designer clothes in front of his eyes, and snorted coldly.

People who are used to luxury.

He packed his brother's luggage home, so he knew what he was going to take away.His hat was hanging on the sticky hook outside the cabinet, Shen Qing took it off and threw it into the box, and went into the cabinet to get some sets of long johns, two coats, a thin shirt, and some pairs of trousers.

The bottom layer is a delicate little drawer for putting underwear, which is bought separately, there is no such thing in Shen Qing's room, and a shoe box is used instead.

His brother has a lot of shit.

Shen snorted softly, squatted down on the ground to open the drawer, and took some more pairs of underwear for his brother.

There are two side-by-side drawers at the bottom of the cabinet, Shen Qing saw that there was already enough underwear in that one drawer, wondering if his brother had a collection of underwear, one couldn't hold back, and opened the other drawer.

The other drawer has no underwear, only a small wooden box with a code lock, log lacquer, thick board, about [-] centimeters long and [-] centimeters wide. Shen lightly raised his eyebrows and shook it.

It sounds like a book, but it's very light.

Shen lightly snorted again.

His brother hides things, and he always hides them in books.

There are four small compartments in the combination lock, Shen Qing raised her brows, and opened it after flicking with her fingers a few times.

Zero nine zero eight, tried and tested.

It is a small book collection, with a dark skin and papers stuffed in a transparent interlayer.

He is familiar with the dirty paper with a messy draft.

His breathing was stagnant, his heart beat faster, and the fingers holding the favorites were wet almost immediately.

The favorites folder was not locked, Shen Qing sat on the ground directly, and glanced at it first.

Confirmed the eyes, this is the evidence that his brother has a crush on him.

A wave of spring water stirred up ripples in the heart lake, and my heart moved slightly. When I just opened the pages, I found that there were vague small characters at the bottom of each page. The corners of Shen Qing's mouth curled up, and she opened the first page full of anticipation.

First page: On the reverse side, there are a bunch of formulas scribbled with a black carbon pen, and an analysis diagram of the force of the rope block and the spring, and a "brother" is written in cursive script on the front.

Note in small print under his brother: Stupid!

Shen Qing: "..."

Turn to the second page: Stupid!

Page Three: Stupid! !

……

No.20 three pages: idiot!

No.20 four pages: dead pervert!

No.20 five pages: neuropathy!

……

Another sixty or so pages were turned over, all of them were scolding him without exception, Shen Qing was a little impatient, he remembered that there were a few longer lines at the end, and finally read it upside down, starting from the last few pages:

Page 98: I dreamed about you again last night, what should I do?

The small characters flying wildly, if you don't look closely, you can only think of it as a black mess of ink.

The restless emotions were suddenly soothed, Shen Qing smiled, lowered his head, and kissed that sentence on the lips.

Can't help but go back to the previous page, page 97: I'm thinking about you again, I feel disgusted

Page 96: Little pervert, always following me

Page 95: Back to school, I miss you a little

Page 94: You seem to have grown taller

Page 93: Peeping Tom!What a fat guts!How dare you sneak into the toilet of the third year of high school to watch me pee!You really think I can't catch you, do you? !

Page 92: You look so cold, is your tongue cold too?

This line was crossed out with two strokes, and a sentence was added next to it: You are so fucking ugly, I really hate you!

Page 91: You're an idiot, and so am I

Page 90: Stupid!

Pretending not to see this article, Shen lightly stretched out his tongue and licked his lips, then turned back and flipped to page 99.

There is nothing written on pages 99 to 123. His brother marked the date on the note. It was the second half of the third year of high school. It must be that his brother was busy reviewing at that time, so he only cared about splicing and gluing the small notes. , I wrote it backwards until the last two pages.

Back up.Because the words were not written on the adhesive lining, but were pasted on with a small piece of paper after the adhesive was pasted.

page 124:

Score down, I'm leaving

Thank you for being with me all these years, I will never forget

I'm sorry, I can only thank you in my heart

People in the mundane world are unavoidable. We are born as prison birds. Without the hope of being released from the cage, there will be no despair of letting go of what we love, nondescript feelings, and it’s okay if it ends so vaguely. I will always be behind you , far away from you, watching you well

Just let Feng Zhi live here, and fate will be destroyed here. People can't help themselves, and things can't be done according to their wishes. It's good for you and me to be well

Shen Qing, I like you

On page 125, this is not a love letter, it was written and put in by his brother himself. Judging from the content, Shen Qing guessed that it was written by his brother before he left home after he took the college entrance examination last summer.

His brother wrote:

The evil fire burns endlessly, the evil wind blows and regenerates

Kiss me stupid, shameless

I wanted to laugh, but couldn't, Shen Qing turned back to the previous page, only staring at the sentence "Thank you for being with me all the time, for many years, I will never forget".

The empty and cold heart was suddenly stuffed with something, full and warm, like a dead tree in spring, a long drought in rain, his numb body was finally awakened, his eyes were hot, looking at those words, it seemed like meeting him again that person.

Occasionally a rascal, always mature and stable, self-restraining and polite, his brother is like this, he was moved by such a person, and now he sees this sentence, he is still moved by him.

His brother has always pretended to have him in his heart, from the very beginning.

His brother told him so many times that he didn't trust him, never believed him.

At first he didn't know what he wanted.He turned his brother into his own, he let his brother be devoted to him, his brother circled around him, but he was still not satisfied, he always felt that there was a piece of his heart missing, he couldn't say where, he always felt that his brother He owed him something, but his brother obviously did everything for him.

Only now did he know that what he really wanted to hear was not "I like you", not "I love you", and even less "I'm sorry".What he wanted was a "thank you" and his brother's eternal memory.

Remembering his existence, remembering his companionship and hard work, telling him clearly that the long and difficult time he spent on him is meaningful.

He always thought that he loved his brother willingly without dignity, but the last thing he wanted was the word "dignity".

It turns out that once people become affectionate, they will involuntarily lie, even deceiving themselves.

Raising his hand to wipe his eyes, Shen lightly closed his eyes and smiled.

Rarely touched, rarely moved, finally relieved.

The small strips of paper that have been torn apart are first stitched together with glue along the gaps, and then completely wrapped with adhesive tape. From the first page to the last few pages, from slightly incomplete to gradually proficient in skills, every time The shredded paper fit perfectly without any flaws, no wonder his brother glued his certificate of award almost flawlessly, sticking his little paper for so long, it turned out that practice makes perfect.

After closing the folder, Shen Qing returned everything to the original state. While helping his brother clean up the computer, he opened the browser, went into the author's background and changed the password, and then cleared the author's background browsing records he left on it last month and today, and installed Carried out the box.

There is no need to look back on the past, what should be kept, he will remember, what should be let go, everything will disappear.

It is enough for him to get along well with his brother in the future.

The author has something to say:

Thank you for your comments and support~

There was a power outage at home, luckily I finished writing before the power outage!