Supernatural powers are intellectual and handicapped, how do I survive

"I have found the way to happiness, but I can't let you go." The curly-haired young man slowly squatted down, leaning on the big leafy tree behind him, his eyes didn't know where to fall, "Let's go alone It's not okay to sink into yourself and refuse any warmth that falls on you forever."

The rows of tombstones came into view, and the waves kept hitting the coast. Occasionally, one or two ships passed by, but they couldn't break the silence that belonged to this area.

An inexplicably tense atmosphere spread between the two, as if at a certain moment, the long-hidden balance was suddenly broken.The bursting of colorful soap bubbles in the sun indicates that the beautiful surface is gone.

Something has quietly changed in a place that no one knows.

Fyodor's breathing paused indiscernibly for a moment, and the hands that were tightly clasped were separated due to the movements of the two, leaving only a little warmth on the fingertips.

His gaze also fell into the distance, staring at the place where the sea and the sky meet at the end of his vision, and whispered softly, "This is more like talking about yourself, the you in the past."

That is Dazai Osamu who is invisible and self-isolated, even if he is pushed to the bright side, he will never be able to truly get together with his companions by his side.

"Maybe, until the end I couldn't find the meaning of living in this world. Even after coming to this world, it took many years before I chose to accept it."

Tsushima Shuji did not deny his lover's statement, he leaned back against the tree trunk, stretched out his hand to cover his eyes, and sighed slightly.

"At that time, I also thought that as long as I was with Fei Jia, it was enough. Being with you, the reasons and meanings of living in this world are not important anymore. The place where you are is my world... It's disgusting, right? , but I really thought so at the time.”

"Love... The essence of this kind of feeling is not possessed from the very beginning." He smiled wryly, and his tone was quite tired, "It was just because of loneliness and helplessness that we chose to embrace each other. There is no such thing as love, and there is no way to know it now.”

"Indeed." Fyodor responded softly, not knowing what he was thinking about.

What is the real reason for them to be together, even though they have never mentioned it tacitly in the past so many years, but now they have to put it on the table.

Because there is no choice, the only ones of the same kind in the world are each other. If you don't want to be alone forever, there is no second possibility except to hug each other.

It's like a pair of helpless newlyweds, who have clearly become the closest relationship in the world, but fail to truly accept each other from the bottom of their hearts.Obviously, they have already lived the enviable life of the gods and couples, living a happy life, and they are all romantic people, and they will not forget the sense of ritual in the peaceful days.There is no doubt about the trust in each other, like a match made in heaven, but all this is superficial.

What maintains their living conditions may be restraint, perhaps a sense of responsibility, but not necessarily love.

Shuji Tsushima's covered eyes showed bitterness, and through the gap between his fingers, he could see the mustard flowers placed in front of the tombstone swaying in the wind.He took a deep breath, suppressing the sourness in his heart, and moved his lips with difficulty.

"Fei Jia can also feel it. After the appearance fades away, what is the reality that exists between us?"

"Ah."

"From the original hostile state to the relatives who have lived together for many years, and to give up all the past delusions that are not in line with reality, we should love each other after going through all this, so we fell in love, but ignored the most important point."

The young man's inexplicably hoarse sentence paused for a while, and he struggled to utter a word.

"Do we really have the ability to love?"

This is a topic that can never be avoided between the two.

Kiss, embrace, understand and accommodate each other.So far, everything they have experienced is nothing more than applying the template of a perfect couple.

I just felt that they should be together at this time, so they naturally chose to hug each other.I also feel that after becoming a lover, the best way to get along should be followed, imitating all the examples I can find, and maintaining this relationship.

It's like playing house, but the duration is too long.And compared to the initial rigidity and deliberation, they are now much more proficient.

"Why didn't you say it until now? If it was earlier, it wouldn't be so deep, and it won't affect anything if you want to go back on your word."

The pale-skinned young man raised the corners of his mouth, his purple-red eyes were slightly closed, and his usually elegant voice was unknowingly tainted with a hint of danger.

"The relationship in that aspect can also be regarded as a normal physiological need. It is a matter of hitting it off or breaking up after a disagreement. Everything returns to the essence. We will still be brothers of different nationalities adopted by adoptive parents."

Instead of being involved too deeply like now, there is no possibility of turning back.

The curly-haired young man sitting on the grass heard the words, curled his lips, and muttered softly, "Liar, I don't think you might let go."

Fyodor smiled, obviously he heard it clearly, insisted on repeating threateningly: "What?"

"Hmph, it's because of your actions."

Shuji Tsushima stretched his waist, covering up his subtle embarrassment, and replied humbly.

"If you just decide to accept friendship, Verne is the best choice for you. You both share an unforgettable past, and he, who is not backed by supernatural powers, will get along with you with such a quiet and steady personality very good."

"But Gogol is completely different."

His gaze drifted into the distance again, his kite-colored eyes were dimmed, reflecting the last peaceful scene of this world before him.

"I won't talk about the nature of the original demon. You and I both understand, and your relationship with him is far from enough to make you remember." Shuji Tsushima muffled, "So, Fei Jia why? Do you want to insist on actively pursuing such a friendship? You clearly knew that he, who pursues absolute freedom, and us, who have become administrators, cannot coexist harmoniously."

The reason why they came to the root world was to fulfill Fyodor's long-cherished wish, and to use the words suitable for Bungou Stray Dogs, it was to find his salvation.

The reason is also very simple, because Shuji Tsushima has found his salvation and has a future where he can continue to go to Lupin with Oda Saku and Ango, but Fyodor has not yet.

That's why they're here.

"Ah, my head hurts..."

The curly-haired young man rubbed his head fiercely, and complained in a drawn out voice, "It's completely unnecessary if you don't want it. Why do you have to define what you look like after you get redeemed? Because you think you will accept the bondage of friendship after you get redeemed, so Deliberately working hard in this direction is putting the cart before the horse.”

Shuji Tsushima suddenly silenced, waiting for a long time for his lover's answer, he could only mutter to himself dryly, "I am the same..."

Essentially, there is no difference between the two of them.

"Well, I know, from the very beginning." The Russian youth who had been silent for a long time whispered, and sat down with a tired face, leaning close to his lover beside him.

"You actually knew it so early?"

Fyodor nodded, "Because our getting along is too deliberate, and the superficial sweetness can't deceive my heart. So the original me can completely see that you are also forcing yourself."

This is also the problem when they first decided to be together. Even now, in retrospect, it is funny that they got along too deliberately at that time.

"The kissing so actively, the shyness you showed deliberately when you were doing the most intimate things, you are deceiving yourself, deceiving yourself that you love me deeply, and you are very successful."

Inexplicably, Fyodor's always elegant tone carried a sense of relief that he had never felt before, as if the burden that had been weighing on his heart for many years had finally receded, and there was no need to endure anything.

"So, now that everything has been discussed clearly, what are you going to do when you go back? Do you still need Mr. Sakaguchi's help to apply for a marriage certificate? Shouldn't you be thankful that he handled it so slowly? It's really great."

"Don't use that tone, I don't like it." The curly-haired youth pouted, and gave the young man beside him a vicious look.

Fyodor just smiled and shook his head, "It's just a little emotional, I didn't expect us to end up like this in the end."

They have gone through all the futures that they have unintentionally drawn up for themselves, and solved all the knots that make them feel sorry, but they never thought that the relationship that should be the strongest has become the last obstacle between the two.

After being relieved, I was supposed to hold the hand of the person I love deeply, but at this moment I found that there had never been such a feeling of love between the two of them.They came together only because they were lonely and had no choice but to have no choice but each other, so they tacitly maintained the performance of loving each other together.You've lied to the world, and you've lied to yourself.

But the fact is, they never had the ability to love someone in the past.

"That's not what I want to express." Shuji Tsushima was the first to break the silence with a rather serious tone.

"If everything so far is just because of the procedures that have been drawn up, then after the destruction of this world, we will really put aside everything, without leaving any regrets, and accept each other wholeheartedly."

"Ah."

This is the script they have planned. Only after each other has been redeemed can they truly have the qualifications to embrace each other and obtain the most real happiness that belongs to them.

Only in this way can they maintain the lie called deep love forever.

"Isn't that good too?" He tilted his head, leaning on Fyodor's neck, with a gloomy expression.

"Indeed, we don't know whether we have the ability to love someone. This feeling is too wonderful. There is no standard answer, and there is no standard that can be used to judge. So we can only imitate it, trying to make a difference between the two. To establish this kind of relationship in time, trying to deceive myself." Shuji Tsushima took a deep breath, moved his fingertips lightly on the grass to the other side, and shook hands with the person beside him again.

Fyodor's voice was too soft to be heard, "Then did you succeed?"

In a daze, he seemed to hear a choked sob, and some cool liquid fell to his collarbone.

"It's very successful. I can't accept anyone except Fei Jia. When I'm with you, I don't think about the meaning of being in this world at all. I'm completely deceived by this sense of happiness."

Fyodor closed his eyes, feeling more peaceful than ever.

"That's a coincidence, so am I."

"Could this feeling be love?"

"Who knows."