Confess to you in early summer

The bedroom was quiet, Jiang Youyi didn't speak anymore, only the sound of two people breathing one after another in the silent darkness.

Yan Wei was a little hard to fall asleep, his beating heart was beating deafeningly in his chest.

She took a deep breath, trying to make herself sleepy, but the more she adjusted, the more awake she became.

Every night, if you can't fall asleep in time, your thoughts will become very mixed, and all the good and bad things will go through your mind, and nothing will be left in the end.

Her arm was at her side, and her knuckles touched the cool skin on the back of another man's hand.

Jiang Youyi didn't move, Yan Wei guessed that she was already fast asleep.

Concentrating on the square inch of the back of the hand, Yan Wei turned over carefully, facing Jiang Youyi.

The curtains have a good shading effect, and the street lamps in the community can only see a few scattered strands of light through the gaps. In the hazy field of vision, Yan Wei saw the blurred outline of Jiang Youyi's side face, which vaguely overlapped with the silhouette under the starry sky in her memory that day.

The clamoring noise in the chest gradually quieted down, Yan not closed his eyes, taking advantage of the night, to secretly wipe away the traces of moisture in the corners of his eyes.

She had a long dream, in which was the empty corridor of the hospital, the air was filled with the pungent smell of disinfectant and alcohol, and her ears were full of alarms from instruments ticking.

She was sitting on the bench outside the ward, flipping through the diary in her hand, separated from the owner of the diary by a layer of transparent window glass.

The emergency lights suddenly turned on in the ordinary ward, and when the nurse pulled the curtain, the person behind the glass window disappeared.

When the scene changed, the doctor in a white coat wore glasses as thick as the bottom of a beer bottle, pulled off the mask that was already soaked in sweat and breathing, and said to her in a mournful manner, "We did our best."

Yan Wei woke up suddenly, the light in the bedroom was switched on at some point, shaking her eyes so much that she couldn't open her eyes.

Her brain went blank for several seconds before she gradually regained consciousness. She saw Jiang Youyi's anxious expression, and then heard a voice: "Yan Wei! What's wrong with you? Wake up!"

"Youyi?" Yan Wei regained consciousness in a trance, and found that her voice was extremely hoarse.

Isn't she in the hospital?

Jiang Youyi looked at Yan Wei worriedly, with one hand still on her shoulder: "You cry so loudly, did you have a nightmare?"

Nightmare?

If only it was just a dream.

Yan Wei saw the rabbit-print nightdress on Jiang Youyi's body, and finally remembered that she was at Yan Chu's house, spending the weekend with Jiang Youyi.

She was crying in her dream just now, which shocked Jiang Youyi a lot.

Yan Wei wiped away the tears from the corners of his eyes, his chest was stuffy, and there was a sense of loss of life after a catastrophe that could not be subsided for a long time.

"Are you okay?" Jiang Youyi was a little worried, Yan Wei's expression was very bad now.

She took Yan Wei's half glass of water from the bedside table and persuaded her patiently and gently, "Drink some water?"

Yan Wei took the water glass with both hands, but only held the glass in his arms, staring at Jiang Youyi with a pair of eyes, making no other movements, staring at Jiang Youyi very uncomfortable.

"Why is this..." Jiang Youyi pursed her lips, at a loss, "Why don't you get up and sit for a while?"

Yan Wei drank the cold water in the glass in one breath, put down the glass, suddenly jumped forward without warning, and hugged Jiang Youyi.

Jiang Youyi was caught off guard, Yan Wei broke her balance, her body fell on her back, her shoulders slammed against the back of the bed, and it hurt a little.

Yan Wei hugged Jiang Youyi tightly and didn't let go, the suspender skirt was loose, a shoulder strap slid down the shoulder line, leaning on Jiang Youyi's arm if she was about to fall.

The girl's young body was tightly pressed against each other through two thin layers of clothing, unable to prevent the other party's body temperature from passing through the cloth.

This warmth comes from a life that is alive and not yet dead.

She didn't want to experience the past in her dream again.

Jiang Youyi was completely dazed, with her left hand resting on her side, and her right hand resting on Yan Wei's shoulder, trying to push but unable to do so, wanting to hide but unable to dodge, no matter how much she let go.

It's dying.

"What's wrong with you?" Jiang Youyi's voice was dry, she didn't dare to look at Yan Wei, so she could only look up at the ceiling.

She used the stubbornness of pretending to be calm to cover up the panic of not knowing what to do, trying to hide the tension, but the five fingers of her left hand clenched the thin quilt until it deformed.

Yan Weixiang was unaware of the ambiguity in the air, choked up and buried his face into Jiang Youyi's neck, adding fuel to the flames: "I dreamed that you got angry with me and then ignored me forever."

"How could you ignore me..." Yan Wei complained in a low voice, tears fell again as she spoke, the warm and moist touch aroused a layer of goosebumps on Jiang Youyi's neck.

Jiang Youyi was so choked that she couldn't speak, her heart beat as fast as if she had just run 600 meters, she was obviously very ashamed, but she was secretly happy that Yan Wei confessed so directly that she cared about her.

In the secret joy, there is also a complex mood of loss and melancholy.

"Crying like this just because of this?" Jiang Youyi tried to push Yan Wei's shoulder away.

But Yan Wei hugged her too tightly, not only did not back down, but even harder, accompanied by a series of questioning, strangled her almost out of breath: "Is this not enough? Jiang Youyi, are you too cruel?"

Jiang Youyi has nothing to say.

She knew in her heart that Yan Wei's concern was separated from what she hoped for, and this friendship would set people on fire, and she would taste all the ambiguities, and she would be clean and decisive when she left.

Yan Wei might not have noticed her intentions before she pierced the window paper with her courage, but the friendship between girls is too easy to blur the boundaries, making it hard for people to tell whether the desire to possess everything in the other party is out of human selfishness Still pure ignorance.

The moment she was rejected, she realized that from the beginning to the end, she was the only one who pretended to be affectionate. Both joy and sadness were separated from the other party by an impenetrable wall, and what she really wanted was out of reach.

Jiang Youyi licked her dry lips. She had indeed made up her mind never to talk to this person again.

Even if the confession failed, she didn't want to show herself too embarrassing, and pulled out completely before she got stuck in the mud. From now on, everything about the other party has nothing to do with her. Even if she still cares, she has to force herself to be indifferent.

But getting along during this period of time made her realize the reality dejectedly. She could not be as brave and unrestrained as she expected, and she could advance and retreat freely.

Jiang Youyi turned her face away awkwardly, stared at the moving car lights on the curtains, and whispered, "I won't ignore you."

Yan Wei raised his head, his eyes were like rabbits, and asked her stubbornly: "Really?"

"Yes." Jiang Youyi nodded, "Really."

Yan Wei: "Then why don't you look at me? Are you just saying that to make me happy, but in fact you don't think so at all? You wish you could hide from me."

Jiang Youyi: "..."

"Why didn't you speak? Did I guess it?" Yan Wei turned into a spirit, aggressive.

Jiang Youyi raised her hands in surrender: "What exactly do you want?"

Yan Weizhi stared at her blankly, and after a few seconds, he spoke surprisingly.

"hug me."

The author has something to say: The author... cough.