summer drowning

This kind of pain, living is just a kind of torture for her. "

"...I don't know...I just feel like I never did one thing right."

Mo Ziyao wanted to persuade him to say something, but Zhou Ziming hung up the phone.

Darkness, pain, I can only bear it silently by myself, and I can't let it spread out.

……

When Li Qian returned home, frowning, it was already twelve o'clock.

The moment I stepped into the room, I intuitively felt that something was wrong. The light was not turned on in the room, and it was full of alcohol.

"..." His eyes searched again.The wheelchair stood alone by the window sill, basking in the moonlight. Where is its owner?

Walking step by step, without too much effort, I found Zhou Ziming who was holding a beer bottle and crying in a mess under the glowing refrigerator in the kitchen.

He climbed here by himself.

Li Qian didn't even want to call out his name, he clenched his fists, just wanting to smash everything into pieces.

But still spent 12 points of endurance, squatting down to talk to him. "Why do you drink so much?"

Zhou Ziming looked at him with red eyes, and couldn't speak clearly: "Why? Because I feel sad."

"Why are you sad? Didn't you feel good this morning?" Li Qian combed his hair with his fingers.

"Not good, not good at all." Zhou Ziming let go of the wine bottle like a wronged child, and went straight to Li Qian's arms.

Li Qian moved his hands stiffly, without any return, his eyes became more and more deep.

"Li Qian, I did something wrong."

"What is it?" Li Qian's voice was hoarse.

"A lot of things." Zhou Ziming said sullenly, he didn't want to tell Li Qian about Bai Lu, he didn't want him to know that he was so sad because of Bai Lu (not all, most of it), and he didn't want to have any more disputes with him.

Li Qian didn't speak.

Zhou Ziming withdrew, looked up at Li Qian, his eyes were blurred with tears: "The past is all wrong, Li Qian," he called his name, "Can we start over again, as if nothing happened? "

He was waiting, waiting for an affirmative answer.

However, just like back then, Li Qian didn't wait for him.

Li Qian in front of him shook his head, "I can't go back, Zhou Ziming." His hand was always hesitant to move forward, "We can't go back, the only thing I can promise is to take care of you for the rest of your life. This is the oath I made to you, the others," it was equally difficult for him to say these words, Zhou Ziming used to be a part of his body, but was forcibly severed, making him reverse all night, the pain was so painful A peaceful day.

Can not go back.

"Others, don't do what he thinks."

Zhou Ziming broke down and burst into tears. All he was allowed to do was grab Li Qian's clothes instead of throwing himself into his arms. He no longer had that right.

want to go back to the past.Zhou Ziming cried out silently in his heart.

I want to go back to the past, start over again, correct all the wrong things, turn the bad things into good things, go back to the days when we were in love, go back to the day when we first met, as if all the pain never arrived.

……

Back in the day, the sun was streaming in through the stained glass windows of the church and falling on them.

They stood facing each other in black and white dresses, like two trees, standing for eternity.

Zhou Ziming put one hand on Li Qian's palm, and clenched his other hand on his mouth. He pretended to cough a few times, "Today, I don't have any parents on my side, so it's up to me to betroth myself to you." .”

Li Qian smiled dotingly, put the ring on Zhou Ziming's ring finger, "Then I would like to ask you to teach me a lot."

"Okay, I will take good care of you." Zhou Ziming also clumsily put a ring on Li Qian.

It was perfect, Li Qian clenched his hand as if holding an oath, he silently recited in his heart the oath that the priest taught them just now: "In the name of God, I solemnly swear: I accept you as my other half, From now on, no matter good or bad, high or low, disease or health, I will always love you and take care of you until death."

At that time, he never thought about remembering the oath, Zhou Ziming was the oath itself.

At that time, he didn't think about his life, he didn't know that life was so short.

The author says:

My God, one of my other articles was accepted, probably because of pity on me, no matter who it is, I still feel very grateful.

This article, excluding the extras, is expected to write 12 chapters.

Come on, come on, it's over, I made the cover today, I hope there will be a little cutie who likes to bookmark or leave a message soon.

8. Mandala

◎-◎

When Xiaoyuan called Zhou Ziming, she was still a little nervous.I was worried that I was too abrupt, maybe Zhou Ziming had already devoted himself to his own life and forgot about her.

It doesn't matter, even as a nurse who used to take care of him, she should have the right to call to see if he is feeling better.After all, he didn't go back to the hospital for regular checkups in September and October.

"Hey."

Just hearing him say this word, Xiaoyuan's breathing became rapid, and she didn't know which word should come out of her mouth for a moment.

"It's me, Madoka." She heard her voice suddenly raised.

Then, she heard Zhou Ziming smile on the other end of the phone. It was a very gentle smile that melted the ice and snow as usual and digested her anxiety.

She relaxed, "I called you to ask how are you doing?"

"Hmm..." He stopped laughing, "It's okay." His tone was neither salty nor weak.

Xiaoyuan couldn't hear anything from it, she hesitated, she retreated timidly: "...Did I bother you?"

Zhou Ziming was silent on the phone for a while, when Xiaoyuan thought her silence was an affirmative answer, he said, "It's nothing, on the contrary, I'm glad you can call, I'm boring by myself. "

The two people "boring" brought back Xiaoyuan's memories of Zhou Ziming when he was still in the hospital. At that time, he always liked to ring the call bell, and he once mentioned to himself that he was most afraid of being alone.

However, the situation should be different now, "Mr. Li, isn't he with you?" Probably Li Qian gave Xiaoyuan an impression of being too cold, so that when she talked about him, she subconsciously used an honorific title.

"He," Zhou Ziming dragged his tone, "he's busy, he has to go to work," he laughed, "he wants to make money to support me and take care of me."

"Then you're home alone?"

"Yes, I'm counting the leaves to see how many can fall today."

Xiaoyuan couldn't help feeling pity for him, and almost put all her heart on her lips: "Then let me come and see you."

Zhou Ziming laughed again, crisp and hearty, but sincerely, "Thank you."

As he said this, Madoka thought he was going to reject her.

But he didn't expect that in the next second, his voice lowered, and he said in a fragile way: "Okay, I just wanted to talk to someone."

Xiaoyuan answered quickly, as if showing her courage: "Okay, if you can't find someone to talk to, just find me!"

"Well, I'll send you the address."

"Okay, see you in the afternoon."

Xiaoyuan put down the phone, she let out a long breath, and lay down on the open notebook, which recorded her many thoughts, most of which were nothing new and trivial daily life, so a complicated story like Zhou Ziming's was particularly special. attract her.

She looked up and was facing the selfie of Vivienne Maier on the table.

"Lonely." She said these two words subconsciously.

……

Li Qian's house is located at the end of the alley. If Xiaoyuan didn't follow the map today, Xiaoyuan would never know that there is such a place hidden in City B, where all the bustling things are isolated, and she lives in an old and simple way.

"Hello, is anyone home?" She knocked on the door, but she thought in her heart that she didn't know how to address Zhou Ziming. It seemed too unfamiliar to call Mr. Zhou, but she yelled and called Zhou Ziming directly. Doesn't seem like a good fit either.

Bed 23, the name made her feel kind, but Zhou Ziming was no longer her patient.

No matter, at the moment when the door was not opened, Xiaoyuan made up her mind that today she will be a good nurse who is competent and caring for patients.

"coming."

Zhou Ziming turned the wheelchair vigorously, came to the door, and opened it.

At a glance, Madoka was wrapped in a white sweater and a peacock green scarf. She was wearing floral gloves and was carrying a bag in her hand.

"Good afternoon." She nodded to him, pushed past his wheelchair and turned indoors, closing the door again, just as she had cared for him in the hospital.

"It's hard for you to come here in such a cold day."

"No, it's just that there are some racing cars on the road, which is quite annoying." With the heating on in the room, Xiaoyuan took off her scarf, and then handed the bag in her hand to Zhou Ziming, "Here are the snacks I bought for you."

"Thank you." Zhou Ziming took it and took out the contents of the bag, "I haven't eaten the small cakes from Yipinzhai for a long time." He opened the box, took one by himself, and returned it to Xiaoyuan, "You eat it too, sit down."

Xiaoyuan took it, sat by the sofa, and chatted with Zhou Ziming.

"You didn't go to the hospital in September and October, and I can't see you. Are you feeling better now?"

"It's passable, so let's keep it." Zhou Ziming couldn't eat more than one cake, and wiped his hands with a paper towel. "Flowers in the greenhouse." It's cold outside, so he hides here.

"Have you done any rehabilitation training?"

Zhou Ziming nodded, "I still want to live a few more years, maybe I'll get better that day."

"Well, this must be supported. It's good to talk about it, but it can effectively slow down the degradation of your body functions..."

Although Zhou Ziming still listened with a normal face, Xiaoyuan decided not to continue, she left the topic, "Where is the medicine, is there any more?"