He can play whatever I like

Zou Yunneng has no shame in front of Xiao Sa, except that he never had any thoughts about Tang Tang in his heart, and he never thought that Tang Tang could like him.

He and Tang Tang have always been normal friends. Although they don't see each other often, they have never been in contact. It doesn't feel strange to see each other once every few months and half a year, but they have never exceeded the rules.

It's not that Zou Yun is too slow, it's that Tang Tang has been very careful——

He felt unworthy.

The so-called Tiancai Damengyi in the Chinese gay circle was just a crying meat dumpling when he was sent to the orphanage.

Although he was two years younger than Zou Yun, he was already tall at that time, but he couldn't compare to the perfect muscular lines now. At that time, Tang Tang was still a little fat man, chubby and only knew how to cry.

Unlike Zou Yun, who knew that he was an orphan as long as he could remember, he had a complete and happy family before, and his biological parents loved him. It was even more difficult for such a child to adapt to life in an orphanage.

Although he is taller than most of the children of the same age in the orphanage, no one wants to stay with him because he cries all day long, and some bad children will bully him; In the afternoon, each child will be given a piece of fruit.

Because he was an only child, he was well protected by his biological parents since he was a child. At that time, he didn't know how to resist. He would just hide and cry and think, if his parents were still there, no one would dare to bully him like this.

At that time, like all children in the orphanage, he dreamed that he could be adopted by a kind couple and leave the orphanage forever; it was also at that time that he saw Zou Yun, who was only nine years old at the time, for the first time——

Zou Yun was not very eloquent in speaking since he was a child, and he didn't know what to say to comfort the crying little fat man, so he could only give Tang Tang the remaining half of the orange in his hand.

Afterwards, Tang Tang slowly began to notice the white and thin little brother who was always standing outside the crowd.

Zou Yun is naturally introverted and unsocial, has a soft temper, is easy to bully, loves to wrestle and stutters, so he is naturally the target of everyone's bullying.

Two people who were not very popular got together like this.

Tang Tang also heard from Zou Yun at that time that the orphanage was first established with the support of a couple of very successful oil painters. Later, more oil painters joined, and some couples would come to adopt their children.

Zou Yun also told him that because those couples are mostly engaged in creation, they would prefer children who can draw.

From then on, he began to take oil painting classes with Zou Yun.

But unlike Zou Yun who likes oil painting from the bottom of his heart, he just hopes that a couple will adopt him sooner; every time he thinks of his parents crying, he always asks Zou Yun when someone will take him away.

It was not until more than a year later that he finally saw his adoptive parents, the couple of American oil painters, for the first time.

He still remembers the scene at that time very clearly.

The couple came to the orphanage, holding a small oil painting in their hands, and asked the passing children about something while walking. Unfortunately, most of the children could not understand English, so they shook their heads and ran away.

He, who was painting in the studio at the time, also went out to join in the fun, and saw Zou Yun passing by the couple; he watched Zou Yun and the couple say a few words, then turned back and pointed in his direction.

Shortly thereafter, the couple completed the formalities with the orphanage and adopted him.

Zou Yun was older than him, so naturally he went to school two years earlier than him. At that time, he was far away, and he couldn't hear what Zou Yun said to his later adoptive parents. Not long after he arrived in the United States, he began to learn English, and only then did he understand Zou Yun. What did those two words that he pointed to at the end mean——

It's him.

It was such a simple word, he never thought about it.

His adoptive parents were infertile, and they had always had only one child, who took good care of him and devoted himself to education. His life in the American family was very good, except——

No one knew that he didn't like drawing at all.

But in order not to disappoint his adoptive parents, he was admitted to the best art school in the United States.

He left home after that, and although he lived a rich and free life, he never knew what he wanted.

But at that time, Tang Tang had already opened up, tall and sunny, handsome and wealthy, he was no longer the little fat man crying in the orphanage, and more and more suitors began to appear around him.

He grew up in a country with open sexual concepts, and his parents respected him very much. From adolescence, he knew his sexual orientation and did not hide it.

Since he has no spiritual sustenance, he thinks it might be good to fall in love.

Later Shen Du inquired about the so-called "Chinese gay circle's big one", probably started at that time.

Everyone only saw him changing boyfriends frequently, as if he was playing in the world, but only he knew that he couldn't talk to anyone.

Even small gestures between couples like holding hands and hugging are always initiated by the other party. He hides when he can, and accepts reluctantly when he can't. Even if he follows someone to a hotel room, he never makes it to the last step.

Maybe you just haven't found someone you like.

At that time, he comforted himself like this, so——

He starts changing objects more frequently.

But who is willing to admit that they had a relationship with the eight-pack abs "Amazona Damengyi", and in the end they each slept peacefully under the quilt, and were dumped not long after?

It's better to boast that "it's good to live well" and sleep well.

These are probably all that Shen Du heard at the beginning.

Tang Tang graduated in such a muddle-headed manner. His adoptive parents were diagnosed with cancer and passed away one after another.

Before he finally passed away, his American adoptive mother asked to go back home and wanted to leave quietly. He accompanied his adoptive mother filially, and found the small oil painting at the request of her.

His adoptive mother told him that the couple used this oil painting to find him back then; they could see at a glance that the child who painted was talented and spiritual, and after inquiring, they heard that the child was in an orphanage, so they went to find him.

Probably because he saw that Tang Tang’s thoughts these years were not actually on oil painting. When his adoptive mother was dying, she comforted him. If there was something else he liked, he could let it go. If Tang Tang doesn't give up painting, he will surely achieve something.

Not long after the confession, the adoptive mother passed away peacefully.

Looking at the oil painting in his hand, Tang Tang was completely dumbfounded.

When he was in the orphanage back then, he didn't see clearly what his adoptive parents were holding. Over the years, this small oil painting was carefully kept by the husband and wife. Until this moment, he didn't see——

That oil painting was obviously painted by Zou Yun when he watched it with his own eyes.

One day not long after the oil painting was completed, Zou Yun came to tell him excitedly that someone had selected this painting to participate in a children's art exhibition.

He will always remember that he has been in the orphanage for more than a year, and he has never seen Zou Yun so happy; when Zou Yun came to him with a painting, he fell and didn't know the pain. When he got up, he only cared about whether the painting in his hand was okay. When I saw that the painting was not dirty, I patted the dirt and just kept giggling.

The American couple must have seen this painting at the children's painting exhibition, and then found the orphanage, asking everywhere where the painting child was, but Zou Yun finally pointed in the direction of Tang Tang——

It's him.

Because of these two words, Zou Yun gave Tang Tang all the complete family and happy life that should belong to him.

And all of this, Zou Yun never said a word to Tang Tang.

At that moment, Tang Tang seemed to finally understand why it would not work to change the number of boyfriends around him——

It's not that he hasn't met someone he likes, but he has never known that he likes Zou Yun.

After dealing with the funeral of his adoptive parents, he immediately flew to Guanhai City to find Zou Yun.

Zou Yun is still the same as before, he will smile shyly when he sees him, and he is willing to listen to his nonsense quietly.

Zou Yun has not changed in so many years, he is still so pure and kind, clear and pure, his only thoughts are oil paintings, at most he can add a good job to earn money, and pay off the loan early.

He wanted to tell Zou Yun countless times that I can do it for you. He wanted to tell Zou Yun that he already knew what happened back then, and he also wanted to let Zou Yun know that he liked Zou Yun.

But whenever he was about to speak, Zou Yun stared at him with big innocent eyes.

So he quickly swallowed the words back——

He felt unworthy.

Zou Yun has always been so clean, but he has changed so many boyfriends, the most abominable thing is the boyfriend he met when he was playing in China a few times, and he even brought it to Zou Yun.

He was afraid that he would dirty Zou Yun, and he could tell that Zou Yun only had oil paintings and work in his mind, and had no other thoughts about him.

Soon Zou Yun drank too much, fell into his arms and cried, and he became more sure——

Zou Yun doesn't like him.

So he wouldn't see Zou Yun's fragility when he was sober.

So the fact that he likes Zou Yun can only be hidden and become the last white moonlight in his heart; at least if this is the case, they can always be a close couple.

After that, he handed over the gallery left by his adoptive parents to someone specially assigned to take care of it. In his heart, that gallery already belonged to Zou Yun and could not be ruined by him; The world, in the excitement of food and extreme sports, looking for the so-called self——

He also deliberately kept a distance from Zou Yun that could at least make Zou Yun comfortable.

If Tang Tang hadn't mentioned these things, Zou Yun would have almost forgotten them.

At that time or now, he actually didn't think too much about it.

He has been an orphan since he was born, and he has already accepted this fact. He doesn't like to cry, and he won't wake up in the middle of the night when he wakes up with nightmares and shouts "Daddy" or "Mom"; the children in the orphanage are all looking forward to being adopted , it's just that Tang Tang needs it more than he does.

Now he couldn't speak, looked at Tang Tang and didn't know what to say, so he waved his hand lightly, to the effect that he wanted to tell Tang Tang, don't take it to heart.

"Zou Yun." Tang Tang stood up, bowed slightly, and looked into Zou Yun's eyes, "I tell you this to let you understand that no matter what I do, you don't have to be burdened; you don't owe me anything, but These--"

"I owe you all."

If he could say these words earlier, maybe Zou Yun would avoid him, but it is also possible that he has already taken Zou Yun to Seattle; even if we can't be together, as long as Zou Yun doesn't know Xiao Sa, everything after that will be fine. Neither will happen.

He looked into Zou Yun's eyes. Although Zou Yun had experienced so much, there was fear and timidity in Zou Yun's eyes, but he couldn't hide his original kindness and innocence...

He is really distressed.

For the first time, in his sober state, he had the urge to kiss someone.

But soon, he regretted it.

He slowly bent down and approached Zou Yun cautiously, but Zou Yun turned his head away.

Zou Yun's evasive movement is not big, but all the meanings are self-evident.

He doesn't hate Tang Tang, even now, Tang Tang is the only person he can trust, he is very dependent, very dependent on Tang Tang.

but……

When he felt the hot breath slowly coming from the side face, although he didn't have that kind of instinctive disgust and avoidance, he still remembered the feeling of Xiao Sa kissing him every time.

In front of Tang Tang, he couldn't find the blushing and beating heartbeat, and the urge to get closer.

Once, he thought that he was like Xiao Huang, a stray cat that no one cared about, and no one loved him. Xiao Sa's kindness to him was like those two ham sausages. .

When Xiao Sa finally hugged him, it was like he picked up Xiao Huang from the ground; Xiao Sa was the only one who was willing to treat him well, so he was willing to go with Xiao Sa, even if he was cheated again and again.

But it wasn't until today that he realized——

He loved Xiao Sa, and only Xiao Sa.

Even if it is impossible for this kind of feeling to continue, there is no way to transfer it to another person who is equally good to him.

Finally, in the distance where his breath intersected, he frowned and slowly turned his face away.

I am sorry.

He said to Tang Tang from the bottom of his heart——

I still can't do it.

"It's okay." Tang Tang smiled helplessly, slowly stood up straight, and patted Zou Yun's head.

It doesn't matter, he still has a lot of time to be with Zou Yun, waiting for Zou Yun.

Outside the door of the ward, Xiao Sa looked at the scene in front of him, turned his back slowly, and saw Shen Du behind him, leaning against the wall on the other side of the corridor.

It is common sense that smoking is not allowed in the hospital, Shen Du held a cigarette in his hand, but did not light it.

"Since you know it will make you sad, why do you still want to watch it?"

why?

Xiao Sa looked down at the document in his hand.

Maybe it's because this is the last time.

The author has something to say: Regarding the part about Zou Yun and Tang Tang in the orphanage, the foreshadowing was actually laid before, and the forgotten friend pointed the way to Chapter 18.

emmm.. I want to say that all Xiao Sa's begging to stay was because he found that he couldn't do without Zou Yun, and there was still something selfish about him; when he chose to let go, he really began to know that he was wrong. Started to think about the problem from Zou Yun's point of view, afraid of hurting Zou Yun.

As for why he is such a crazy critic, I will explain it later, but——

The one who agreed not to change the attack must be that something big is going to happen to make the crematorium more prosperous!trust me! ! !

感谢在2021-03-3020:18:27~2021-03-3104:12:52期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angel who threw the mine: 1 in the night sky of Qingshan;

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!