dear psychiatrist

In the days after breaking up with Tao Yaoyao, Zhuo Qihua became a frequent visitor to the Time Nostalgia Bar. He originally wanted to "run into" Tao Yaoyao here, but...Tao Yaoyao seemed to have made up his mind and left behind everything he had been with. Everything that Zhuo Qihua was related to in the past, after all, Momo's bar never appeared again.

She thought that Momo would anger herself because of this, but Momo didn't. She just smiled wryly and said that she had expected it.

From the first time, when Tao Yaoyao brought Zhuo Qihua into the bar, Momo had already seen today's ending.It's just that Momo didn't expect that this moment came in such a hurry, she didn't even have time to say take care to Tao Yaoyao.

To Zhuo Qihua's surprise, he met Zhao Xiaoqi here. She was sitting at the bar drinking alone, chatting with Momo from time to time.

Perhaps this is the real Zhao Xiaoqi, who enjoys her own life in a flat way, without being disturbed by external disputes, and the tears and sentimentality that Zhuo Qihua once brought her have gradually been replaced by her new life .

Momo first noticed Zhuo Qihua's appearance, and smiled at Zhuo Qihua, following Momo's movements, Zhao Xiaoqi looked back and met Zhuo Qihua's eyes.The two looked at each other, and after a long pause, Zhuo Qihua stepped forward and said in his usual tone: "Xiao Qi, why are you in the mood to drink?"

Zhao Xiaoqi didn't look away from Zhuo Qihua, but she didn't speak either.Zhuo Qihua felt awkward for no reason with such an expression of 'everything is said and done'.In fact, Zhuo Qihua knew in his heart that this kind of embarrassing feeling can only be felt when facing Zhao Xiaoqi, a subtle but unexplainable discomfort, wanting to be alienated but unable to bear to leave.

For example, Momo is Zhuo Qihua's true friend. When facing her, Zhuo Qihua can joke, fight and hook her shoulders without any scruples.And Tao Yaoyao is his lover. When facing his lover, Zhuo Qihua can make her a warm smile, a hug, and a passionate kiss in a reasonable way.But when facing Zhao Xiaoqi, Zhuo Qihua couldn't achieve the intimacy of a friend, nor the intimacy of a lover.

What Zhuo Qihua is most afraid of is being caught between the third kind of affection between family and friendship. Even though Zhao Xiaoqi's shoulders are so thin, people wish to rush forward to hug her tightly, but they can't.

After all, all the emotions gathered here, and I wanted to speak, but I didn't know what to say.

"Old classmate, what are you thinking about?" Zhao Xiaoqi seemed to have read through Zhuo Qihua's mind, seeing her turn the wine glass in her hand, she said casually.

When Zhao Xiaoqi said the phrase 'old classmate', Zhuo Qihua was taken aback for a moment, and then smiled in relief.And the embarrassment that lingered between the two just now was swept away, allowing Zhuo Qihua to be honest about the distance between the two.

"..." Zhuo Qihua didn't speak, but fell silent, feeling a little dazed.

Zhao Xiaoqi, who was sitting by the bar, noticed Zhuo Qihua's abnormality, she pushed the person beside her with her elbow and said, "Qihua, how are you doing recently? Is something wrong? You're out of your mind... Maybe it's not like that?" Are you having trouble with Tao Yaoyao?"

Turning to look at the woman beside her, she was his childhood playmate, the first love he missed, and he clearly promised her that he would never let any woman cry again, let alone let Tao Yaoyao down .But what about the ending?

At this moment, Zhuo Qihua seemed a little confused, what is the purpose of searching for so many years?But if time turns back and does it all over again, maybe I will still sell the property desperately, just to fulfill Cui Anjie's dream.

It was not Zhuo Qihua's original intention to let Zhao Xiaoqi see how miserable she was.But now, all of this seems to no longer make any sense.

"Of course not, don't think too much about it. I'm pretending to be deep, pretending to be literary, do you understand?" After regaining his senses, Zhuo Qihua shrugged in a daze, then raised his head and grinned at Zhao Xiaoqi He smiled, but said nothing more.

It was the expression of "dust to dust, dust to dust" that caused Zhao Xiaoqi's left atrium to throb for no reason, maybe her heart that was constantly fluctuating had never been calm.But why at that moment, Zhuo Qihua saw a kind of see-through sadness, and a kind of calmness after a powerless struggle emanated from her body, which made Zhao Xiaoqi's heart tugged, how much she wanted to give her a hug.

Thinking about it, this time, Zhuo Qihua must have really fallen in love with Tao Yaoyao.And finally let Zhuo Qihua also meet such a person, he can be crazy about her, crazy about her...

"I've applied for a one-month vacation, and I plan to go for a walk around to relax. I should go to Suzhou, there are beautiful mountains and rivers, no matter how you say it, it's better than here, besides..." Zhuo Qihua paused at this point , his eyes gradually became empty, staring blankly at a place in the distance for a moment, then smiled and said: "Here, there are no people or things that I need to leave behind."

Perhaps, for Zhuo Qihua, staying in this city is a kind of pain for her.Living under the same sky and in the same city with the woman I love so much, but after all, I can only watch from afar.

"By the way, why don't you just stay at home when you're newly married, and come here to drink instead?" Zhuo Qihua took a glass of dark beer handed over by Mo Mo, took a big sip, feeling the icy cold His forehead couldn't help shivering, then he let out a long sigh of relief, and turned to look at Zhao Xiaoqi, as if waiting for her to reply.

Who would have known that Zhao Xiaoqi suddenly changed her face, and said with a slightly sullen expression: "Qihua, can't you tell the truth in front of me? You and Tao Yaoyao have already broken up, how long do you want to keep it from me?"

Hearing Zhao Xiaoqi's words, Zhuo Qihua instinctively looked in Momo's direction, but saw Momo innocently shrugged his shoulders at him, as if expressing helplessness that had nothing to do with him.

"It's not what Mo Mo said..." As if seeing through Zhuo Qihua's thoughts, Zhao Xiaoqi turned the wine glass in her hand and said softly: "I met Tao Yaoyao, it was just a chance encounter, I have to admit, people The relationship with people is really wonderful.”

"She told me that you have already broken up, but she kept silent about the reason." Zhao Xiaoqi paused, as if she was thinking about how to speak, the wine glass in her hand turned and turned, looking at the small water that condensed on the glass The beads slipped down slowly, Zhao Xiaoqi finally opened her mouth with a mixed expression: "Qihua, you really have a lot of face to make Tao Yaoyao's eyes blush when she mentions you."

"Is she okay recently? I haven't seen her for a long time." When Tao Yaoyao was mentioned, Zhuo Qihua looked a little depressed, but he tried his best to hide the ups and downs in his heart.

"What do you think, how can she get better? People's hearts are full of flesh. After being injured, not everyone can heal instantly like Wolverine in the movie." Zhao Xiaoqi turned to Zhuo Qihua beside her. He rolled his eyes to show his displeasure.

"Xiaoqi, I understand what you mean. It's just that I said something so broken at the beginning, how can I turn around now? Neither she nor I are the ones to turn back, although I am not a good horse. Many things, missed Even if I miss it, there is no chance to come again, and the regret can only be kept in my heart. Then Tao Yaoyao will find out that I have left the whole world behind the people I love, and now I can have the whole world by turning around."

Zhuo Qihua spoke in detail with no expression on his face, without any logic at all, maybe these words were not meant for Zhao Xiaoqi, but Zhuo Qihua said it to himself over and over again.

Zhao Xiaoqi's tone was calm, but tears were shining in her eyes.She wanted to tell Zhuo Qihua, if there was such a woman who left the whole world and chose you, and when she lost the whole world, she happened to lose you at the same time, then...she really has nothing.And these words, Zhao Xiaoqi finally did not say it, she smiled slightly and said softly: "Qihua, do you still remember that I left a seed in your heart?"

"Well, I remember." Zhuo Qihua nodded vigorously, and opened his mouth seriously, keeping his eyes on Zhao Xiaoqi, as if he wanted to see more from Zhao Xiaoqi's expression.

After getting Zhuo Qihua's reply, Zhao Xiaoqi put away her smile, and turned serious and said: "Do you still remember that you promised me that you would not pursue anyone until you realized what you thought in your heart? Then do you still Remember, how I stood beside the street in the middle of the night, said with tears, realized what was in my heart, and only wanted to spend the rest of my life with Tao Yaoyao?"

That night, Zhuo Qihua originally didn't want to cry, but Zhao Xiaoqi's emotions were aroused by Zhao Xiaoqi. Feeling the warmth from the corners of his eyes, Zhuo Qihua nodded vigorously and replied: "I remember everything you said. clear!"

"..." Zhao Xiaoqi stopped talking, just looked at the person in front of her silently, and then she smiled and said, "Since you still remember, I believe you don't need me to say anything more, right?"

After a long silence, Zhuo Qihua sighed heavily, and pushed everything to fate: "Let's just let fate..."

Zhao Xiaoqi, who can't handle alcohol, didn't come here to drink, but just came here to have a few words with Zhuo Qihua, and now all the words that should be said have been spoken, and there seems to be no reason to stay in the bar.Seeing that Zhao Xiaoqi put down the wine glass in her hand, left the corresponding wine money, and said hello to Momo who was entertaining other guests not far away, she turned around and left with her handbag.

Zhuo Qihua stood up almost instinctively, and followed Zhao Xiaoqi's footsteps...

Watching Zhao Xiaoqi walk towards the taxi waiting area, Zhuo Qihua couldn't hold back the doubts in his heart after all, ran towards her quickly, stopped her in front of him and said, "Xiaoqi, I don't understand, It's clear that I hurt you the most, but you still want to help me again and again. Even if you put yourself down, you are willing to build a bridge between Tao Yaoyao and me. This kind of willingness, what is it? Why?"

Zhao Xiaoqi, who has always been frank, forthright and vigorous, was silent for a long time when faced with Zhuo Qihua's question, and then saw that she deliberately avoided Zhuo Qihua's gaze, and said softly: "Because, I once loved you deeply, So, there is no way to see you sad!"

Seeing Zhao Xiaoqi boarding the taxi and walking away until she disappeared, Zhuo Qihua stared at the place where Zhao Xiaoqi disappeared for a long time.

Remembering the phrase "I once loved you deeply" in Zhao Xiaoqi's mouth, Zhuo Qihua's depressed heart gradually calmed down.Zhao Xiaoqi is really an intellectual woman, she can use the most appropriate words to describe the current mood, just like the past tense of 'once'.

Zhao Xiaoqi is always the one who can see through the most, but Zhuo Qihua still can't figure it out, she feels that her mind is still immature, and she is only courageous when encountering things, or maybe Zhuo Qihua herself doesn't understand, What exactly do you want.Then she worked desperately, demanding from the lover beside her, and finally ended up in the current situation.

Fortunately, Zhuo Qihua was honest enough. Before she thought it through, she didn't choose to stalk, but looked into the distance, and chose to give each other a period of time, a space, to think clearly about how to go in the future.

Just like what Zhuo Qihua said, if fate is enough, I believe that one day, Tao Yaoyao will still walk together.Zhuo Qihua firmly believes in this point!