growing up porcelain doll

◎Cheng Yu originally thought that there might be a cold break in the middle of the meal, but it didn't. Gong Qing's absence in the morning was completely wiped out, as if he was less interested in such a role

Cheng Yu originally thought that there might be a cold break in the middle of the meal, but it didn't. Gong Qing's absence in the morning was wiped out, as if he had adapted well to such a role change, and wasn't as entangled as he was.They have a lot of topics in common. Their experiences over the past ten years have been imprinted by each other, and their future life trajectories cannot bypass each other. Therefore, whether it is recalling the past or imagining the future, they will not be missing in each other's lives.

Gong Qing didn't call him by his name when they were two as he said, he still called him "brother" and didn't make a deliberate division, because the elder brother is him, and the lover is also him, so Cheng Yu no longer entangled in the role issue, He can be both a brother and a lover.

After dinner, the two went to the garden in the middle of the street. They walked hand in hand on the tree-lined path like ordinary young couples. Occasionally, a breeze would blow by. Cheng Yu suddenly felt that it was good to have someone by his side all the time, and he regretted it a little. Why didn't I figure out my emotions earlier.

Gong Qing took his hand and said suddenly, "Brother, are you doing this to comfort me?"

Cheng Yu frowned when he heard the words. He felt that his heart was being pricked by a needle for a moment, so he asked back, "Why do you think so?"

Gong Qing smiled wryly: "It just feels unreal. I have always known that my feelings for you are not normal, and maybe I am not a normal person either. I imagined that one day I could hold hands with you and walk in the crowd On the turbulent street, I have never expected it, especially in..." Especially on that drunk night, he swallowed the second half of the sentence, which was the beginning of his shattered dreams.After a while he continued: "I'm not a strong person, I can even be considered weak, because I can't help thinking about you, I can't control my feelings for you, so I indulge myself deeper and deeper. I'm afraid of myself Breaking through the shackles of reason and worldliness ruined you and ruined this family, it was me who was weak and powerless and chose to escape and choose to leave."

Cheng Yu stopped, and Gong Qing turned to look at him. Under the night, he saw a thick fog in Cheng Yu's eyes that could not be dispelled. Those emotions were hidden in the fog, and only the one called "sadness" was the most clear.

Cheng Yu stretched out his hand and gently stroked Gong Qing's left cheek, his voice was filled with wet sadness, and he said, "That slap must have hurt."

Gong Qing stretched out her hand to cover the back of Cheng Yu's hand, then held him, shook her head and said, "It doesn't hurt anymore."

Cheng Yu looked into Gong Qing's eyes and said, "You are right, you were right from the beginning to the end, whether you escaped or left, you made the choice to protect me. Thinking about it carefully, since I was a child, I have always been right. My eyes have been chasing you, so that I have no chance to see through my heart. If this relationship is a cage bound in the world, then I must also be the creator of the cage. Trapping you also traps me , I can see your strength and bravery, but the pain of being imprisoned cannot be borne by you alone, because I love you."

I love you!

Gong Qing felt that her whole body was trembling. The person he loved said that he loved him and wanted to share his pain and bear his nightmare. How could he not be moved?

The hustle and bustle of the surroundings seemed to gradually fade away, even the noisy cicadas shut their mouths wisely, and the wind was so gentle that it was outrageous.Gong Qing held Cheng Yu's hand and slowly moved it to her chest, her heartbeat was vigorous and powerful, and he said: "I used to think that I could save myself by pushing you away, and that I could save my life by letting you share some of my love." , but those days were the hardest for me. Reason told me that this was the most correct decision and I should stick to it without hesitation, but the heart that missed you and missed you was even more stubborn, and it smashed its head in the glass cover. Bleeding, shouting loudly begging you not to go far, but you can't hear me. I'm wandering in life like a schizophrenic patient walking dead. I really want to tell you that I regret it, but I can't say it after all. He looked at Cheng Yu's misty eyes, gently wiped away the teardrops that were about to form in the corners of his eyes with his thumb, and said softly, "Cheng Yu, can you feel its vitality at this moment?" It is dancing for you. I was too stupid before, and now I understand that pushing you away can only save a body that has lost the ability to love, and only you can keep it alive."

This should be the second time Gong Qing confessed to him. The corners of Cheng Yu's eyes were already red, but he couldn't see clearly under the cover of night.He felt the throbbing and powerful heartbeat coming from the palm of his hand, as if each beat of the heart conveyed Gong Qing's message of "I love you so much".The palms began to become hot, and the warmth spread along the arms to the heart, and then the warmth flowed into every corner of the body engulfed in blood.He empathized with Gong Qing's pain, and he understood Gong Qing's love for him better than anyone else. Perhaps there is no one in this world who is more suitable for each other than they are.

Cheng Yu really wanted to say something to comfort Gong Qing, but now, all the words seemed to be too pale, those hurtful pasts could not be wiped away with simple words, and his tears still couldn't hold back from falling from his eyes after all. .

Gong Qing lowered her head and kissed the tears off Cheng Yu's face, and followed the tears to his wet eyelashes.

This was the first time Gong Qing saw her elder brother shed tears for him. The tears were salty, but when they melted in her mouth, they were sweet and bitter.

Gong Qing's kiss went so far, it was as soft as a piece of tulle, and Cheng Yu suddenly thought of the kiss that Gong Qing had on the KTV rooftop when he was drunk before, it was also a light touch, and he was covered in injuries and ailments, but he always loved him. It is full of compassion and tenderness.He raised his face up to Gong Qing's lips and kissed it. After being stunned for a moment, Gong Qing turned on the guest and took Cheng Yu into her arms. She put one arm around his waist and the other hand on the back of his head, and turned back vigorously. kiss.

The night was very quiet, the wind was very gentle, and the enthusiasm around the young man did not subside. Cheng Yu unconsciously hugged Gong Qing's waist tightly, trying to get closer.Morality and ethics were all left behind at this moment, reason was faltering, and desire gained the upper hand. He suddenly wanted to drown in this kiss, and then the worldly disturbances and countless invisible obstacles had nothing to do with them.

This kiss is not a taste, nor can it be considered gentle. They are trapped beasts in this secular cage. They can't see where the way is, but they can't break free from the rope to follow the secular current. They can only bite and lick each other. To appease the love that is about to erupt in each other's hearts.

The breathing in the ear gradually calmed down. Gong Qing hugged Cheng Yu as if she was holding on to a life-saving straw, and she couldn't bear to let go. Cheng Yu just let him hold her like this.Feeling the ups and downs of Gong Qing's chest, he patted him on the back and said, "Let's go out and look at the house when we are free tomorrow."

Gong Qing finally let go of him and asked, "Looking at the house?"

Cheng Yu smiled and said, "Well, there aren't many classes this year, the main ones are essays, so you don't have to stay in school every day, and you'll be graduating next year, so you'll have to look for a house then." He squeezed Gong Qing's face, He also said: "You have lost a lot of weight, and it is convenient for me to take care of you after moving out."

Gong Qing couldn't hide the joy in her eyes, she nodded and said, "Okay!"

After school started, Gong Qing became busy. He used to have a lot of courses during the day when he studied medicine, but now he also added a lot of experimental courses at night. He was busy from morning to night all day long.I used to think that taking classes was just a quick thing, but now I feel that these courses are extremely long. He never played with his mobile phone in class, and he developed the habit of checking his mobile phone every few minutes in just a few days. Time is to watch the time, sometimes to reply to the message, in short, time becomes hasty and precious.

Gong Qing here is extremely busy with schoolwork, and Cheng Yu over there is really not idle either.He seized all the time to arrange the course tasks of this semester, and even coordinated the tasks of the next semester with the tutor. In his spare time to deal with these matters, he went off-campus to find a suitable house by himself. He will take photos of good neighborhood environment and send them to Gong Qing.The two went to inspect it together on the weekend, and after talking and discussing with each other, they decided on the matter, and finally chose a small apartment not far from the school, with two bedrooms, one living room, one kitchen and one bathroom.Although the rent is a bit expensive, the price is quite reasonable in this capital city where every inch of land is expensive.Although the current financial resources of the two brothers are not very rich, they still have a small treasury. After all, Liu Danqing and Cheng Yan have never been stingy about their living expenses. After these years of accumulation, they are also a considerable amount of assets. The rent and living expenses here are more than enough.

It was the end of September when they officially moved in. They didn’t go home on the [-]th. They took advantage of the holiday to buy some simple and practical household items. After careful cleaning, although the overall layout of the house did not change much, every part increased up the little details.There are velvet slippers of the same style on the shoe rack at the door, brand new clothes hangers on the side of the living room, teacups for couples on the coffee table, exquisite vases filled with flowers on the dining table, and fresh fruits and vegetables in the refrigerator , new pots and pans have been added in the kitchen, neatly stacked textbooks in the study room, clean bedding and the fragrance of laundry detergent on the big bed in the bedroom, everything reveals the breath of life, they are perfect Combined together, it makes this place more homely.

Gong Qing looked around here and there, obviously already very familiar with these rooms, but still felt that everything was very novel.

Cheng Yu followed Gong Qing like a tail, and asked, "Do you like it?"

Gong Qing: "I like it!" He turned around and hugged Cheng Yu, and said with a smile, "Brother, I don't think this is a temporary rented place, but more like a home, a home just for you and me."

Cheng Yu leaned against Gong Qing's arms, and couldn't tell whether it was reality or a dream. If this was a dream, then please keep dreaming and never wake up. If this is reality, then please freeze the time at this moment, All the good things stop here, let those uneasy factors and potential dangers disappear in place!

He said: "Me too, I suddenly had the illusion that we were going to get married."

Marriage, this is really a heavy topic, they are not even ordinary homosexuals, a fact that neither ethics nor law will admit, how can they cross that invisible gap?

From the day they were together, they had a tacit understanding not to talk about family, not to talk about what if and what to do, as if those unknown or known dangers would not exist if they didn't talk about it, as if if they didn't talk about it, They can always live in such a relatively bright world, and their utopia will not fall.

Cheng Yu realized that what he said was inappropriate, so he hurriedly made up for it, saying, "Even if we can't get married, we can still be together for the rest of our lives."

Gong Qing asked hoarsely, "Will you?"

"Yes, we are brothers for life, and lovers for life, we are inseparable."

Cheng Yu's words seemed to be comforting, but also like self-hypnosis.No one can predict what the road ahead will be like and how it will go. Others pray for a smooth road ahead. For them, this is an extravagant hope. They just want to be able to see the road ahead.

The atmosphere in the room was a bit dull, Gong Qing let go of Cheng Yu and said, "Well, I just moved in, let's cook a meal to celebrate!"

Cheng Yu smiled and said, "Okay."

The two of them entered the kitchen one after the other. Although they are not "fingers not touching spring water", they really don't have much experience in cooking, and the rush to cook a meal is earth-shattering, and three simple home-cooked dishes are finished. , The two of them were sweating from the busyness, and the dull atmosphere just now dissipated completely in this busyness.

Gong Qing picked up a piece of potato chips that were almost half finger thick and raised her eyebrows to look at Cheng Yu. She smiled and said, "Brother, is this what you said to take care of me?"

Cheng Yu felt like he was caught talking big, so he coughed to cover it up and said, "Well, try it, it must be cooked!"

Gong Qing nodded with a smile and said, "Well, after using so much water, it's cooked through."

Cheng Yu stared at him for a moment, then said, "You can do it, why don't you come and give a demonstration? Why don't you teach me?"

Gong Qing licked her lips and said, "I don't know how to do it, but I can learn it in the future."

Cheng Yu dug a spoonful of tofu and stuffed it into Gong Qing's mouth, and said, "Then let's talk about it later when you learn it!"

Gong Qing chewed the smooth and tender tofu, gave Cheng Yu a compliment, and said, "Well, the taste is not bad, there is room for improvement, I like you!"

The author says:

Sweet for a while, otherwise how to put the knife, hee hee!