Jiang Zhiyi fell into a long entanglement, and she began to sleep all night long, leaning on Shi Qingyi's bed and looking at her, her gaze was like a terrifying beast staring at its prey, but there was an inexplicable panic in her eyes .
Shi Qingyi occasionally woke up and stared at the snow scene outside the window in a daze, Jiang Zhiyi looked at her in a daze, the room was quiet and she could hear needles falling.
One day at the end of November, Jiang Zhiyi had a dream in which Shi Qingyi touched her head and called her name, she raised her head, Shi Qingyi kissed her eyes, and told her not to move.
She didn't dare to move at all, Shi Qingyi was wearing a white hospital gown, she looked surprisingly thin, her cheeks were slightly sunken, her complexion was pale, her hands were wrapped in thick white gauze, and she said in a hoarse voice, ,I gotta go……
The kiss fell on the corner of the eye, as if tears were falling along with it.
She woke up from the dream, and hugged Shi Qingyi almost in a panic. The girl was awakened by her and let her hug her tightly. She bit her neck helplessly, like a wild animal following instinct.
The freshness flowed in the blood of her neck, and she held the piece of flesh, feeling the continuous vitality flowing from her body, and finally confirmed that this person was still there, and she left her without saying a word.
Hot tears rolled down her cheeks, she couldn't make a sound, she called out that name one after another, wishing to strangle that person into flesh and blood: "Qing Yi, Qing Yi..."
Shi Qingyi let her hold her, but patted her on the back silently, without saying anything.
Jiang Zhiyi shivered and stuffed herself into her bed, and let out a cry from her throat. With trembling hands, she quietly untied her large hospital gown, and bit her white ear: "Qingyi, I miss you so much." ..."
That dream was too terrifying, her whole body was trembling with cold, she desperately wanted to have the body temperature of another person, wanted her to hold her in her arms, wanted to be in harmony with each other, wanted to be intimate——
Shi Qingyi paused, facing the person with red eyes in the ward, she couldn't move her hands, she didn't have the strength to even refuse, she just raised her hand a little, and Jiang Zhiyi pushed her down.
"Qingyi, don't push me away..."
Afterwards, the memories of that night are all vague, only remembering Jiang Zhiyi's excessively good teeth, biting marks all over her body, heavy snow outside the window, Jiang Zhiyi bit her lips to prevent the night watch nurse from finding out, and refused to let out a sound.
"Qingyi, why do you want to run away? Why don't you want to be with me all the time...I'm so afraid that you don't want me, I'm so afraid...Qingyi...I only have you..." She won't stop even when she's passionate, Talking in her ear over and over again, the heat entered Shi Qingyi's ear, forcing her to hold the quilt tightly.
When everything quieted down, Qingyi was already drowsy, and she could only hear someone whispering something in her ear, sobbing and apologizing, and calling her name one after another.
Later, she heard the persistent and terrifying woman hugging her, kissing her wrapped wrist, and softly said: "Qingyi, I'll let you go..."
If her love is just a cage and torture for Shi Qingyi, then no matter how sad she is, she must be let go. She likes someone because she wants her to be good. For her, her love cannot be just pain and helplessness. stop hurting each other.
That is the moon she puts on the tip of her heart, the person who wants to prevent her from being wronged by any grievances in this world for the rest of her life.
She can't, really drive her to death, right?
The moon in the water is in her hand, but she is just a ridiculous monkey, after all, she failed to pick up the moon in the water.
On the day when Shi Qingyi was discharged from the hospital, it was snowing heavily, and Shi's mother came to pick her up by car. Her mother looked at her cautiously, and brought a bouquet of flowers to her and hugged her: "Qingyi, everyone passed."
Next to her was her father. Her parents hadn't seen each other for many years. At this moment, they came to pick her up and left the hospital together. Jiang Zhiyi had disappeared without a trace since that morning and never appeared in front of her again.
When she is crazy and paranoid, people are frightened, and when she lets go, she is free and easy, which makes people frightened, like a drop of water sinking into the vast sea of people, and no trace can be found.
Shi Qingyi stood in the snow and looked back. She was still wearing the down jacket that Jiang Zhiyi picked out by herself. It was white and had a thick fur collar. In the past, Jiang Zhiyi always liked to bury it in the collar of her clothes, like a lazy The lazy and coquettish cat asks her for kisses insatiably.
She felt that the eyelids were a little heavy, and her eyelashes trembled slightly, and a white snowflake hit her eyelashes, hitting her heart like something had hit her hard.
Shimu held her hand very tightly, almost forcing her into the car.
The air conditioner was turned on in the car, Shi's father was driving in a heavy overcoat, their mother and daughter were sitting in the back seat, Shi's mother was holding her hand and chatting.
"Qing Yi, let's go abroad for a while. Your father and I have made arrangements. When you were young, we didn't have much time to accompany you. We are sorry for you. It is cold in China. We will go abroad to live by the seaside for a while, just in time to be warm... ..."
"We also asked experts in this field to see your hand when you go abroad. Maybe you can still draw. We are not in a hurry, just take your time. Your father and I will accompany you well..."
She said it so well, the future seems to be able to see the end at a glance, Shi's father is not good at words, sometimes he tries his best to talk.
Shi Qingyi was sitting on the seat, she knew that the end of this journey was the airport.
Today's car was not blocked by anyone, and it drove smoothly all the way to the airport. The things had already been packed, and Shi's father was carrying things to protect their mother and daughter in the crowd. It looked like a normal family. .
The people who were protected in the middle stopped suddenly, and the people who were silent all the way stretched out their hands to Shimu. Her hands were pale and thin, like a branch about to wither.
"Give it to me." The voice was hoarse, as if he hadn't spoken to anyone for a long time.
Shi Mu's face changed suddenly, almost like the eve of the rainstorm, she hugged her only daughter and walked forward, her hands were trembling: "Qingyi, let's go, right away—"
"Mom, give it to me."
Shi Qingyi hasn't called her like this for a long, long time, she can't remember exactly how long, it seems that after she chose to leave, her daughter who used to be the most clingy to her became more and more perverted, and she never called her so intimately again. pass her.
Tears welled up in her eyes, and after so many years, she saw a begging look on Shi Qingyi's face.
"Three years ago, when I was in a car accident and called you for help, you were not there." Her voice was quiet, only her eyes were quietly moist. "Aren't you willing to save me now?"
She got the mobile phone and started to go back against the flow of people. Shi's mother was watching her from behind, and her daughter walked towards the flow of people without looking back, as if she had left the comfortable life she hoped for.
But at the last moment, she looked back at her. She was too far away, and she could only vaguely recognize her through her mouth. What she said was, thank you.
-
The other end of the phone was chaotic and disorderly, someone was crying and there was the sound of wind and snow. The person on the other side was Jiang Zhiyi's secretary whom she had met once. She said, is it Miss Shi?President Jiang left something for you.
There was still the sound of the siren on the phone, and she suddenly raised her head. There was a white car parked beside the airport. The old man beside the car was over seventy years old and looked at her with a cane in the wind and snow.
——That's Jiang Zhiyi's grandfather.
"If Miss Shi hadn't turned around, I wouldn't have come out." The old man asked her to get in the car, with a sigh in his voice, and the wisdom and clarity accumulated over the years in his cloudy eyes.
"Miss Shi has her own life. I can't let my granddaughter ruin your life." The old man took out a thick stack of medical records and put them in her hands with withered hands, coughing, "You probably don't know, you know It's sick."
Shi Qingyi suddenly tightened her hands, her voice trembling: "Where is she now?"
-
Jiang Zhiyi is on the nineteenth floor rooftop of Jiang's house.
In fact, she always knew that she was sick. Her father was a murderer. When she was a child, her classmates would throw grass and dirt on her, saying that she was the daughter of a murderer, and that she would definitely be a murderer when she grew up.
Her family is very poor, she often doesn't have enough to eat, she is pale and emaciated and can't fight in fights, her crying will be accidentally discovered by the head teacher, and the head teacher finds out when others use her homework, and so on, there are many accidents, people who bully her always Also suffer some losses.
The Jiang family has hereditary mental illness. Her father was suspected of being mentally ill when he accidentally killed someone, but he went to prison honestly. The mental hospital is also expensive. Everyone thought her father was still serving his sentence, but he was not. .
He chose to commit suicide in the seventh year after entering, and ended his life with a small tile. Her mother died that year, and her father followed the news after knowing the news.
Aunt kept telling her nothing, thinking she didn't know anything.
Her uncle has always been violent, mentally unstable, and will take revenge on the whole family. She has been beaten since she was a child, and she has thought about dying with that person countless times.
There is also Jiang Zhiqing, she lost her child, Gu Chuanjing failed to start a business and wanted to go home for a business marriage, she went crazy after jumping off a building in the hospital, and now she is holding a doll and calling her baby crazily.
The lunatic of the Jiang family, she will be the next one, and she herself is not much better, she knows in her heart.
When she was a child, she knew how to take revenge on others with the least cost. When she was young, she wanted to die with the person who abused her.
When she met Shi Qingyi for the first time, she was blocked in an alley and blackmailed. After the blackmail was over, several teenagers began to mess with her. Later, Shi Qingyi kicked her one by one, honestly.
She cried and trembled, showing weakness to the enemy. She felt that the arrogant blond girl would definitely bully her. She huddled tightly in a ball, trying to reduce her sense of existence. Then, the girl took off her coat and covered her body, said ferociously: "Let's go?"
She was stunned. People who have been in the dark for a long time are reluctant to let go when they see a little light, even if the light burns their hands.
Ever since Shi Qingyi played with her for the first time, gloomy and terrifying thoughts grew in her heart, wanting to grind away her sharp edges and corners, and make her completely her own.
But at that time, she was really too weak. Did she really want to jump down?
No, she didn't want to, why should she die?Those who tormented her were still alive, how could she die, she wanted to live well, the moment she saw Shi Qingyi from the gap in the roof, she climbed onto the roof.
She knew how to read people's hearts when she was very young. If she really didn't care, why would she go to the rooftop to find her?Even if it was really just playing with her feelings, Shi Qingyi would feel guilty from the moment she stood on the rooftop.
After all, that is a life.
Shi Qingyi always felt that everything was an accident, but it was not. Why did she know that Shi Qingyi secretly accompanied her home just by seeing the soy milk cup?
Because she used to stand in the distance and look at that girl more than once, that beautiful and delicate person, she couldn't help but want to take it for herself.
How pitiful she was when she was young, but in fact, sometimes it was not true. Uncle Jiang was once detained for beating her.
Why can Shi Qingyi see those scars?Because it was the trace left by her own hands.
Some pains are really unbearable, she will cut herself with a knife, hurt herself, of course it hurts, but the more it hurts Qing Yi, the more distressed she will be, the better for her.
She can nestle in her arms, cry and beg her for comfort in a low voice, she can get more of what she wants—
She was drinking poison to quench her thirst, and eventually brought about her own demise. She knew it from the very beginning, but she couldn't help it. Shi Qingyi was just a short-term antidote for her, and she didn't care even if it would burn her.
She has never explained the sleeping pills to Shi Qingyi. In fact, she had this symptom a long time ago. She is suspicious and sensitive, too thoughtful, paranoid, and can't sleep all night. Her illness is actually very serious. appeared early.
That bottle of sleeping pills wasn't for Uncle Jiang's family, it was hers all along. The money from her tutoring had been used to support her medicine, and she also had a position as a tutor, so how could it happen that she happened to be in Shi Qingyi's community?
— so she can get prescriptions.
In fact, in the car accident three years ago, she hadn't been suspicious. With her current status, is there anything she can't find out?
It's because she doesn't want to clear the fog, she wants Shi Qingyi to owe her, she wants a fair reason, to tie her by her side with peace of mind——
She is a complete bad person.
She has been planning for half her life, step by step for half her life, and it's over, she found that she still couldn't bear it after all.
She couldn't see Shi Qingyi losing her vitality and life in front of her, and she couldn't even see her having an accident.
That dream was really scary. She dreamed that her Qingyi would never come back, leaving her alone in this lonely world.
What did Qingyi do wrong?She did nothing wrong, it was her, she was the one who lied to her from the very beginning, plotted against her, and led her step by step into the abyss without escape.
It's my own ridiculous monkey, trying to pull the moon into my arms.
That is the moon in the sky, the person she wants to hold in her heart for the rest of her life, no one can hurt her, not even herself.
It would have been great if Qingyi hadn't rescued her from the roof back then——
Sometimes she also wonders, will Shi Qingyi regret it?Save a devil like her.
Shi Qingyi occasionally woke up and stared at the snow scene outside the window in a daze, Jiang Zhiyi looked at her in a daze, the room was quiet and she could hear needles falling.
One day at the end of November, Jiang Zhiyi had a dream in which Shi Qingyi touched her head and called her name, she raised her head, Shi Qingyi kissed her eyes, and told her not to move.
She didn't dare to move at all, Shi Qingyi was wearing a white hospital gown, she looked surprisingly thin, her cheeks were slightly sunken, her complexion was pale, her hands were wrapped in thick white gauze, and she said in a hoarse voice, ,I gotta go……
The kiss fell on the corner of the eye, as if tears were falling along with it.
She woke up from the dream, and hugged Shi Qingyi almost in a panic. The girl was awakened by her and let her hug her tightly. She bit her neck helplessly, like a wild animal following instinct.
The freshness flowed in the blood of her neck, and she held the piece of flesh, feeling the continuous vitality flowing from her body, and finally confirmed that this person was still there, and she left her without saying a word.
Hot tears rolled down her cheeks, she couldn't make a sound, she called out that name one after another, wishing to strangle that person into flesh and blood: "Qing Yi, Qing Yi..."
Shi Qingyi let her hold her, but patted her on the back silently, without saying anything.
Jiang Zhiyi shivered and stuffed herself into her bed, and let out a cry from her throat. With trembling hands, she quietly untied her large hospital gown, and bit her white ear: "Qingyi, I miss you so much." ..."
That dream was too terrifying, her whole body was trembling with cold, she desperately wanted to have the body temperature of another person, wanted her to hold her in her arms, wanted to be in harmony with each other, wanted to be intimate——
Shi Qingyi paused, facing the person with red eyes in the ward, she couldn't move her hands, she didn't have the strength to even refuse, she just raised her hand a little, and Jiang Zhiyi pushed her down.
"Qingyi, don't push me away..."
Afterwards, the memories of that night are all vague, only remembering Jiang Zhiyi's excessively good teeth, biting marks all over her body, heavy snow outside the window, Jiang Zhiyi bit her lips to prevent the night watch nurse from finding out, and refused to let out a sound.
"Qingyi, why do you want to run away? Why don't you want to be with me all the time...I'm so afraid that you don't want me, I'm so afraid...Qingyi...I only have you..." She won't stop even when she's passionate, Talking in her ear over and over again, the heat entered Shi Qingyi's ear, forcing her to hold the quilt tightly.
When everything quieted down, Qingyi was already drowsy, and she could only hear someone whispering something in her ear, sobbing and apologizing, and calling her name one after another.
Later, she heard the persistent and terrifying woman hugging her, kissing her wrapped wrist, and softly said: "Qingyi, I'll let you go..."
If her love is just a cage and torture for Shi Qingyi, then no matter how sad she is, she must be let go. She likes someone because she wants her to be good. For her, her love cannot be just pain and helplessness. stop hurting each other.
That is the moon she puts on the tip of her heart, the person who wants to prevent her from being wronged by any grievances in this world for the rest of her life.
She can't, really drive her to death, right?
The moon in the water is in her hand, but she is just a ridiculous monkey, after all, she failed to pick up the moon in the water.
On the day when Shi Qingyi was discharged from the hospital, it was snowing heavily, and Shi's mother came to pick her up by car. Her mother looked at her cautiously, and brought a bouquet of flowers to her and hugged her: "Qingyi, everyone passed."
Next to her was her father. Her parents hadn't seen each other for many years. At this moment, they came to pick her up and left the hospital together. Jiang Zhiyi had disappeared without a trace since that morning and never appeared in front of her again.
When she is crazy and paranoid, people are frightened, and when she lets go, she is free and easy, which makes people frightened, like a drop of water sinking into the vast sea of people, and no trace can be found.
Shi Qingyi stood in the snow and looked back. She was still wearing the down jacket that Jiang Zhiyi picked out by herself. It was white and had a thick fur collar. In the past, Jiang Zhiyi always liked to bury it in the collar of her clothes, like a lazy The lazy and coquettish cat asks her for kisses insatiably.
She felt that the eyelids were a little heavy, and her eyelashes trembled slightly, and a white snowflake hit her eyelashes, hitting her heart like something had hit her hard.
Shimu held her hand very tightly, almost forcing her into the car.
The air conditioner was turned on in the car, Shi's father was driving in a heavy overcoat, their mother and daughter were sitting in the back seat, Shi's mother was holding her hand and chatting.
"Qing Yi, let's go abroad for a while. Your father and I have made arrangements. When you were young, we didn't have much time to accompany you. We are sorry for you. It is cold in China. We will go abroad to live by the seaside for a while, just in time to be warm... ..."
"We also asked experts in this field to see your hand when you go abroad. Maybe you can still draw. We are not in a hurry, just take your time. Your father and I will accompany you well..."
She said it so well, the future seems to be able to see the end at a glance, Shi's father is not good at words, sometimes he tries his best to talk.
Shi Qingyi was sitting on the seat, she knew that the end of this journey was the airport.
Today's car was not blocked by anyone, and it drove smoothly all the way to the airport. The things had already been packed, and Shi's father was carrying things to protect their mother and daughter in the crowd. It looked like a normal family. .
The people who were protected in the middle stopped suddenly, and the people who were silent all the way stretched out their hands to Shimu. Her hands were pale and thin, like a branch about to wither.
"Give it to me." The voice was hoarse, as if he hadn't spoken to anyone for a long time.
Shi Mu's face changed suddenly, almost like the eve of the rainstorm, she hugged her only daughter and walked forward, her hands were trembling: "Qingyi, let's go, right away—"
"Mom, give it to me."
Shi Qingyi hasn't called her like this for a long, long time, she can't remember exactly how long, it seems that after she chose to leave, her daughter who used to be the most clingy to her became more and more perverted, and she never called her so intimately again. pass her.
Tears welled up in her eyes, and after so many years, she saw a begging look on Shi Qingyi's face.
"Three years ago, when I was in a car accident and called you for help, you were not there." Her voice was quiet, only her eyes were quietly moist. "Aren't you willing to save me now?"
She got the mobile phone and started to go back against the flow of people. Shi's mother was watching her from behind, and her daughter walked towards the flow of people without looking back, as if she had left the comfortable life she hoped for.
But at the last moment, she looked back at her. She was too far away, and she could only vaguely recognize her through her mouth. What she said was, thank you.
-
The other end of the phone was chaotic and disorderly, someone was crying and there was the sound of wind and snow. The person on the other side was Jiang Zhiyi's secretary whom she had met once. She said, is it Miss Shi?President Jiang left something for you.
There was still the sound of the siren on the phone, and she suddenly raised her head. There was a white car parked beside the airport. The old man beside the car was over seventy years old and looked at her with a cane in the wind and snow.
——That's Jiang Zhiyi's grandfather.
"If Miss Shi hadn't turned around, I wouldn't have come out." The old man asked her to get in the car, with a sigh in his voice, and the wisdom and clarity accumulated over the years in his cloudy eyes.
"Miss Shi has her own life. I can't let my granddaughter ruin your life." The old man took out a thick stack of medical records and put them in her hands with withered hands, coughing, "You probably don't know, you know It's sick."
Shi Qingyi suddenly tightened her hands, her voice trembling: "Where is she now?"
-
Jiang Zhiyi is on the nineteenth floor rooftop of Jiang's house.
In fact, she always knew that she was sick. Her father was a murderer. When she was a child, her classmates would throw grass and dirt on her, saying that she was the daughter of a murderer, and that she would definitely be a murderer when she grew up.
Her family is very poor, she often doesn't have enough to eat, she is pale and emaciated and can't fight in fights, her crying will be accidentally discovered by the head teacher, and the head teacher finds out when others use her homework, and so on, there are many accidents, people who bully her always Also suffer some losses.
The Jiang family has hereditary mental illness. Her father was suspected of being mentally ill when he accidentally killed someone, but he went to prison honestly. The mental hospital is also expensive. Everyone thought her father was still serving his sentence, but he was not. .
He chose to commit suicide in the seventh year after entering, and ended his life with a small tile. Her mother died that year, and her father followed the news after knowing the news.
Aunt kept telling her nothing, thinking she didn't know anything.
Her uncle has always been violent, mentally unstable, and will take revenge on the whole family. She has been beaten since she was a child, and she has thought about dying with that person countless times.
There is also Jiang Zhiqing, she lost her child, Gu Chuanjing failed to start a business and wanted to go home for a business marriage, she went crazy after jumping off a building in the hospital, and now she is holding a doll and calling her baby crazily.
The lunatic of the Jiang family, she will be the next one, and she herself is not much better, she knows in her heart.
When she was a child, she knew how to take revenge on others with the least cost. When she was young, she wanted to die with the person who abused her.
When she met Shi Qingyi for the first time, she was blocked in an alley and blackmailed. After the blackmail was over, several teenagers began to mess with her. Later, Shi Qingyi kicked her one by one, honestly.
She cried and trembled, showing weakness to the enemy. She felt that the arrogant blond girl would definitely bully her. She huddled tightly in a ball, trying to reduce her sense of existence. Then, the girl took off her coat and covered her body, said ferociously: "Let's go?"
She was stunned. People who have been in the dark for a long time are reluctant to let go when they see a little light, even if the light burns their hands.
Ever since Shi Qingyi played with her for the first time, gloomy and terrifying thoughts grew in her heart, wanting to grind away her sharp edges and corners, and make her completely her own.
But at that time, she was really too weak. Did she really want to jump down?
No, she didn't want to, why should she die?Those who tormented her were still alive, how could she die, she wanted to live well, the moment she saw Shi Qingyi from the gap in the roof, she climbed onto the roof.
She knew how to read people's hearts when she was very young. If she really didn't care, why would she go to the rooftop to find her?Even if it was really just playing with her feelings, Shi Qingyi would feel guilty from the moment she stood on the rooftop.
After all, that is a life.
Shi Qingyi always felt that everything was an accident, but it was not. Why did she know that Shi Qingyi secretly accompanied her home just by seeing the soy milk cup?
Because she used to stand in the distance and look at that girl more than once, that beautiful and delicate person, she couldn't help but want to take it for herself.
How pitiful she was when she was young, but in fact, sometimes it was not true. Uncle Jiang was once detained for beating her.
Why can Shi Qingyi see those scars?Because it was the trace left by her own hands.
Some pains are really unbearable, she will cut herself with a knife, hurt herself, of course it hurts, but the more it hurts Qing Yi, the more distressed she will be, the better for her.
She can nestle in her arms, cry and beg her for comfort in a low voice, she can get more of what she wants—
She was drinking poison to quench her thirst, and eventually brought about her own demise. She knew it from the very beginning, but she couldn't help it. Shi Qingyi was just a short-term antidote for her, and she didn't care even if it would burn her.
She has never explained the sleeping pills to Shi Qingyi. In fact, she had this symptom a long time ago. She is suspicious and sensitive, too thoughtful, paranoid, and can't sleep all night. Her illness is actually very serious. appeared early.
That bottle of sleeping pills wasn't for Uncle Jiang's family, it was hers all along. The money from her tutoring had been used to support her medicine, and she also had a position as a tutor, so how could it happen that she happened to be in Shi Qingyi's community?
— so she can get prescriptions.
In fact, in the car accident three years ago, she hadn't been suspicious. With her current status, is there anything she can't find out?
It's because she doesn't want to clear the fog, she wants Shi Qingyi to owe her, she wants a fair reason, to tie her by her side with peace of mind——
She is a complete bad person.
She has been planning for half her life, step by step for half her life, and it's over, she found that she still couldn't bear it after all.
She couldn't see Shi Qingyi losing her vitality and life in front of her, and she couldn't even see her having an accident.
That dream was really scary. She dreamed that her Qingyi would never come back, leaving her alone in this lonely world.
What did Qingyi do wrong?She did nothing wrong, it was her, she was the one who lied to her from the very beginning, plotted against her, and led her step by step into the abyss without escape.
It's my own ridiculous monkey, trying to pull the moon into my arms.
That is the moon in the sky, the person she wants to hold in her heart for the rest of her life, no one can hurt her, not even herself.
It would have been great if Qingyi hadn't rescued her from the roof back then——
Sometimes she also wonders, will Shi Qingyi regret it?Save a devil like her.
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