Water lanterns and dreams in 1 nights

The one I saw threatening me at the amusement park.He put his derby hat on one side, and asked me if I was decent enough. I didn't say a word, he didn't care about my silence, and went away whistling, and he didn't come back for three days.

He didn't forget to give me medicine, but I can't actually resist if I don't take medicine at this point, but I have to thank him for not tying me up again.Tired of playing, the puppy fell asleep docilely leaning against my feet. Its young, white belly undulated softly during its breathing, pressing against my skin.I haven't been this warm in a long time.

It didn't take long for the dog to stand up and sniff around, and I let it find it, even though I knew Elo well enough that he would never let me back.The appetite is not necessarily unbearable for the time being, but both he and I know that the focus is not on the food. Two, three, or five days are meaningless. The focus is on whether I take that step.

This is my trial.

On the first day, the puppy fell into agitation and kept barking. I knew what it needed, and that was what I was most lacking at the moment.There was still a little mineral water left in the house, I connected a little with a bottle cap and took it to its mouth, the dog stuck out its tongue and licked it, I stroked it down its back, it raised its tail and flicked it back and forth meekly .

The next day, the water was not enough to solve the problem, and it was quickly drank up. The acid surge made me want to vomit from time to time, and every body movement would be accompanied by dizziness. The dog was still barking and listless. Smart enough to understand the current situation.I can't give it anything.

On the third day, I strangled it myself with trembling palms.Its throat was strangled by me, its eyes were wide open, and its limbs kicked wildly, but it was too small, even though I was so weak, it still seemed like a giant to it.After all, I had been hungry for a long time, and my strength came and went, and it took a long time for it to die. When it died, its eyes were white, and its long, red tongue dangled limply on its canine teeth.My hands trembled intermittently, mainly because of excessive hunger than psychological reasons.

I didn't want to eat it at Ello's will, so I left its body in the corner.When Elo came back that day, he was not satisfied with the result.He'd better take it, I don't have any more tricks to show him.But Elo has never been a character who accepts as soon as he sees it. No matter how he swears that I am special, it's just nonsense. His conscience is as infinite as his aesthetics.

He badly bought all the strong-smelling delicacies he could buy, and he didn't need to show off in front of me. He just ate it in a corner, and the fragrant smell naturally trickled down to my nose.As he chewed on fried chicken and flipped the pages of porn magazines with his greasy fingers, my Adam's apple moved up and down, and the endless emptiness inside took a bigger place in my mind.This emptiness was still spreading, and nothing else could hold it down, and it lasted maybe ten hours or so, and then I thought, what the hell.

So I gave in and told him to skin the dog, which he was more than willing to do for me, and under his cheerful, benign gaze, I took the bright red, sticky lump raw and gnawed full, The cheeks were puffed up to a big mouthful, and I was chewing slowly and vigorously while staring at Elo. The blood that was not drained from the meat ball dripped down my chin and onto my neck. I should look disgusting and can be summed up.But I was bewildered to witness Elo's indisputable reaction, wide-eyed, dilated pupils, with a special, vaguely eager smile on his face, whispering proudly, "You did it, darling." It seemed As if because of this orgasm.

I took a bite, threw the rest in a garbage bag, and he let me eat.I knew that eating was not the point. What he wanted and forced was my superficial brokenness. What he wanted was my submission and my fall. I fell again and again until I fell to his side.

Elo's eyes lit up, and he totally saw this as a substantial first step in taming me.Oh, may God bless him.

At night, he rode on me and fell deeply, using my sleeve to wipe the sweat from his forehead when he screamed out of control on me, he raised his head and rose, fell, rose, and fell actively... Counting silently, thinking about when it will end.After a while he groaned and fell down on my chest, his black curly hair was wet into little locks, he smiled with his mouth crooked, buried his teeth in the flesh of my neck, and caressed me lazily. "My God, I love you so much."

I laughed in pain, can this be considered a kind of love?

He ran his hands through his hair, went to take a shower, and crawled back into bed covered in water, like a wet poodle. "Do you like it? We are like this, nestled together, as if we were made together."

"If only you wouldn't bark so loudly."

Elo said shamelessly in my ear, "I haven't complained about your quietness, my dear."

"Don't call me that."

"What do you want to hear me call? Baby, bear, my honey..."

"too disgusting."

"Get used to it." He chuckled, and pulled me into his arms forcefully, "Go to sleep, dear. I will remember to kiss you awake."

I grabbed his nose in retaliation, because my muscles were weak, and my attack couldn't do enough damage. Elo put the quilt on me, patted me on the back, and suddenly looked like a loving sister again.

"Go to sleep."

And at that very moment an indescribable passion came over me, and if I had had a knife in my hand at this moment, he would have died, but I hadn't, and my fate continued to whirl.

I looked at the watch on my left hand. The hands read absurdly at [-]:[-], which could never be now.

With a sigh, I undo the watch strap and place it next to my pillow.

59. Pierrot 18

You can only have freedom when you lose moral constraints.

Destroy, destroy, clear and then build, you have to clear a vacant lot before you have enough space to do other things. "The more you have, the more blind you become," Elo said.Work, earn money, shop, and live what they call a "happy life."In fact, how can a person not survive?Survival itself only needs a little water and food, and a corner enough to accommodate, but people have to move more to satisfy the gazes projected on him by the entire outside world. Those gazes from parents, lovers, neighbors, friends, and colleagues are speechless Thorn, if they think you need something to be good, you must have something.Connecting with people means being connected to the world on the one hand, not worrying about disappearing without a trace, and on the other hand you have to carry the weight of that gaze.From this perspective, orphans might be happier because no one will follow them to be responsible.

From a certain point of view, I also agree with what he said, but his behavior is too extreme. In his view, destroying is my salvation. By destroying my world structure, relationship network, and everything about me, I can achieve purification, and I don’t care about that at all. It is the product of my hard work for many years. Without them, my ordinary life plans will not be sustainable.

His theories are fanciful.It is impossible for a person to live in suspension and to be completely isolated from the world. For example, an orphan has no responsibility to take responsibility, and he himself will easily fall into the nothingness of existence, longing for life to fill the void caused by the absence of his parents.Even if Elo said that, he couldn't be completely detached himself, otherwise why would he bother to lock me up in this place.

Since that concession, the atmosphere between us has eased a lot, at least he can no longer cheat me in terms of diet, and the rest remains the same, I am still a powerless cripple.I guess only if I maintain such a defenseless appearance can he feel safe. Since both parties know that if I regain my strength, the situation will definitely not be as peaceful as it is now. I must run, and he must not allow it. That situation cannot be resolved non-violently.Now I have no strength to restrain the chicken, and I can't go anywhere, he can easily subdue me, and he doesn't have to worry about me escaping without a trace.

To relieve boredom, Elo brought a batch of tobacco, including various types and brands. We leaned side by side on the head of the bed, and Elo tried one by one with his upper body bare. , Occasionally, I am willing to smoke more if I like it.

"Sometimes, I really want to go back to the circus." Elo held the cigarette between his index finger and middle finger, and shook the ash slightly to the ground. "Life there is very simple, nothing more than eating, sleeping, training, and performing. People live very cleanly."

"Then why did you come out?"

"Simple...but quite boring." Elo opened his lips, exhaled a mutilated smoke ring, watched it lightly melt into the air, and sent half a cigarette to my mouth, "This is not bad. "

I hesitated for a moment, insisted on taking it with my hand, and tried to take a sip. It was funny to say that this was the first time I smoked in several lifetimes. For the first time, I only felt that my mouth was full of smoke and my throat was uncomfortable, so I spit it out immediately. "I don't like it," I said, putting my hand out under Elo's bare left rib.

Elo didn't resist, and let me be presumptuous on him, lighted the lighter and lazily lit a new one for himself, took a deep breath, held it for four or five seconds before spitting it out slowly, as if enjoying it, " Honey, you are like an elephant in a circus, you look mighty and majestic, but you have been frightened and submissive since you were a child, but in fact you never dare to make a wrong step, for fear of being hooked and beaten severely."

"Nonsense." The room was full of smoke, and the smell was really not pleasant. I looked at my round and smooth nails and said slowly, "No one abused me."

"You can deny it. I know anyway," Elo said softly, as if telling a bedtime story, with a little smoke in his voice