Water lanterns and dreams in 1 nights

In the small room, he did too many things to me.Mostly I can just let him go, not ashamed, since there is nothing I can do about it myself, there is no need to blame myself too much.There was only one thing in it that I never expected and never will take for granted.

In this case, the body is still pursuing pleasure for its own sake, and the reaction of most adult men when they get up in the morning appears in its own way, regardless of whether I have the energy to take care of it.Often just ignoring the situation was enough, and the established pattern fell apart the day Elo decided to take over my desires.I don't blame myself, but when his hand took me, I froze, and then it happened once under his movement, and he politely apologized to me that he was negligent before, and it should have been. He took over, "You have to learn to let me satisfy you..." The rest of the sentence was deep in his eyes, he didn't say it, but I could read it-"And vice versa."

The flesh/body got what he wanted, rested contentedly, and the instant sweetness faded away, leaving only a faint emptiness and disgust, which made me unable to lie down and enjoy it lazily.I still don't appreciate Ello, if I can, I would rather give up this long-lost sweetness and let me go back to my daily life.

The other day I asked about the girl, the first victim I knew of who had drawn me into this Elo mess, far from expecting to get so entangled with the killer.I searched in my memory, and compared to the girl's name, I thought of the pretentious amorousness on that young face, and the unblemished brown eyeshadow at the corners of her eyes.

"What can I say, this isn't the first time I've made friends," Elo said, "though I didn't initiate it that time."

"She was the one who asked me first, and I was young," Elo explained. "You know young people always think foolishly. I was sitting on the lawn looking through a tattered book of fables, and she walked straight towards me. Come over and smile at me. She's been around me, doing little favors, childish and harmless, so I didn't chase her away. We both know that if she dares to be even a little bit weird I would beat her half to death, but she didn't dare to leave, I would beat someone, only for a reason, they are not the same."

"Hu Zhizi." I finally remembered the girl's name, "Did she do something sorry to you?"

"She betrayed me. She shouldn't have done it, and she shouldn't have let me know. I was in confinement the day I was poisoned, and that's why."

"That wouldn't kill her."

Elo sighed, "I do things fairly. She wants me to die first. The most valuable time for humans and animals is to be sold. During that time, I ate and drank well every day, and no one beat or scolded me. I was treated like heaven. If it wasn't for the fact that there was already a buyer, why would I be so polite to me? If I don't run away, my life is in danger. This kind of thing is obvious at a glance, it's just..."

"only?"

"She found out by accident. She kept her face and said nothing, and reported it to the dean."

"Maybe she doesn't know the consequences of your legacy."

"It doesn't matter, know it or not, she did it herself. She dare not live alone, she must leave me as her shelter, and what happens after that has nothing to do with her. But I survived and escaped Come out, I've told myself since that day, sooner or later I have to meet them one by one."

There's a strange void in my stomach, I don't know if it's something wrong with being half-starved for too long, or if it's just Elo's reckless attitude towards killing one's own kind, and I lick my lips, eager Eat a piece of fruit.He will definitely not give it to me.The more I wanted, the more he wanted to cut himself off from me, which, according to him, helped me discover what I "wanted" the most.Yes, I almost found it now, that is, I want him to disappear, and he will not promise me this.

My weight dropped so fast that I didn’t even need to weigh it deliberately. The clothes that I originally fit became looser day after day, and the rest of my thoughts gradually faded away. Only the desire to eat increased. I have never been so hungry. Not even in war.

He drugged me when I fell asleep, and when I was awake, he handcuffed me to a chair and asked me the answer to the first puzzle almost every day.

I think about the lone earring, the broken lipstick, and the so-called puzzle, "hiss crawling in the shadow of love, without the name of love." It's not that difficult to guess, I just want to be one step ahead I figured out what he was up to, but I couldn't figure it out, and I lost patience with his constant questioning, and finally blurted out one day, "I know. The answer is lovers."

Elo smiled contentedly, took out another maple leaf earring of the same style as the one in the delivery box, and compared it to my ear, "That's right." He said briskly, choosing the left ear.He wiped my earlobe with a damp cotton ball, and the pungent smell of alcohol was dissipated, leaving a piece of dampness. He pinched my ear tightly with one hand, and twisted the nail of the earring with the other to quickly penetrate into the flesh.I cried out in pain, trying to struggle but lost the strength.He carefully put the metal earplugs to prevent the earrings from falling off behind my ears, and affectionately called me "lover".

He is always like this, sweetly calling me "Yingguang", "Aguang", "dear", the last title is more of a threat than intimacy, no one will mistake it for love The product, no matter how tender and affectionate his voice is, I can fully hear it.

He controls, deters, disciplines, protects, guides, and persuades. He wants me to be what he wants me to be. Frankly speaking, that's not me, it's his mistake, I'm not suppressing, but I don't care at all.His power is fueled by anger, and he calls out boundaries with the world driven by anger, and sneers at most people who choose mediocrity.

How can I make him understand that my indifference is not out of the same arrogance, but that I know that everything will eventually fade away. Since no emotion can last for a long time, I simply choose to forgive in advance, everything can be confessed, Everything will follow the wind, so why be angry?

It's a pity he mistook me for one of my kind, and I wonder how long it will be before he realizes his mistake.Until then, I still held the hope of getting out safely.And I should have given up on this unrealistic optimism long ago.

58. Pierrot 17

The hunger burned my stomach intensely, and I hardly felt hungry at the end, only my stomach was heavy. These days, he was probably completely annoyed by my too resigned attitude, and the food was pitifully scarce , wishing to just give him some water to drink, not only his body is not free, but sometimes he needs his permission to go to the bathroom according to his mood, which is downright abuse.

He went out and came back with a dog.The dog was snow-white with fluffy hair. Elo tugged on the leash around its neck. The puppy wailed and groaned. It arched its back and pawed and refused to enter the door. When it saw me, it immediately came over and spun around happily beside my legs. Going around, standing upright on my hind legs, grasping my knees with two front paws, panting with my tongue out "hey", seeing its happy appearance, I felt a pity in my heart .

Elo went to wash his hands first, and asked me with a smile if I recognized it.

That's my parents' dog.

I slumped in the chair, and Elo groped my chin and said it was time to shave again.He fetched a basin of water, let me lie on the back of the chair, and applied shaving foam. He took out an old-fashioned silver shaver from his pocket, and shaved my face carefully from behind.No matter how many times this happens, exposing my entire neck to him makes me shudder, not to mention that he holds a murder weapon in his hand. As long as he wants to, it will take only a few seconds to cut off my windpipe, but I didn't move, not even my eyelids. Did not open.I was so tired that I completely lost the strength to fight back.He was right, it was indeed my fault not to complain, I got used to everything too quickly and too well, and I was too lazy to risk my life to make changes.

He rinsed the knife covered with foam and stubble in the water, and I took the time to ask him why he brought the puppy. The dog circled around the four legs of the chair, and its tail brushed Elo's calf. Kicked it to my side, "I see you are depressed, I brought this little thing to accompany you specially. Are you unhappy?"

No.

"And I'm going out for two or three days." He said nonchalantly.

This was a pleasant surprise. "Save some food, go as you please." I said.

"Aren't I finished shopping?" He said with a smile.

I opened my eyes immediately, and his face was just above mine, carefully wiping off the water drops from the knife.

"What do you mean?"

Elo smiled and didn't answer.I held his wrist, his hand stopped, and a mark was drawn on my face. Elo raised his eyes and rubbed my wound viciously with his fingertips. "You're bleeding," Elo said. "You can't blame me this time."

"Speak clearly." I said.

Elo looked at me for a while, and replied, "Isn't that very clear?" He reached out to touch my eyes, I quickly closed my eyelids, he wiped the corner of my eyes lightly, and suddenly Laugh, "Honey, sometimes I should put on your makeup."

Then he actually took out a small mirror from his pocket and showed me my face. The half-dried blood fell on the corner of my eye, and the red spot was very abrupt.

"You can't do that."

"It's nothing wrong." Elo said, put away the mirror, and wiped my face with a wet towel.After tidying up, he found a complete set of oil paints, pure white foundation, drooping eyebrows sullenly, sharp corners of eyes, red lips, he was completely transformed into a clown.Or Pierrot would be more apt, given how melancholy he looked.At this moment, I was surprised to recognize that he was the man who died on the night Hu Zhizi died.