light-hidden space

17.

Xin Yue twisted his body on the chair and changed his sitting position.

Jiang Yinqi caught it immediately, "After talking for so long, I'm going to get something delicious." Jiang Yinqi once again resorted to the trick of "don't go too fast", she knew that the turning point of the story had arrived.

Jiang Yinqi ran over to bring puff ice cream and raisins for wine pairing.Good wine is enough to tell pleasant stories.Unpleasant story, but also need sweets to dilute the bitterness.

"Why don't we go to the living room sofa to continue talking." Jiang Yinqi brought the wine glass and dessert directly to the tea table.

"This chair is very comfortable." Xin Yue has sat on many chairs, and this is a very comfortable one.

"No matter how good a chair is, it won't be comfortable to sit on for a long time. Only by changing your body posture frequently can you get a comfortable feeling. Lying, sitting, standing, walking, running, you have to switch back and forth frequently, otherwise you will feel uncomfortable .” Jiang Yinqi insisted on taking Xin Yue to the sofa in the living room, while she sat down on the wool carpet with her back against the sofa.

After eating dessert and posing properly, Jiang Yinqi raised his head and said to Xin Yue who was sitting on the sofa, "Okay, let's continue."

Xin Yue slowly got used to Jiang Yinqi's rhythm, so he continued talking.

"Looking back, before my wedding, my parents cried a lot, even my father, who never wanted to show his emotions. They probably had a premonition that today would come."

Xin Yue fell silent after saying this.

Jiang Yinqi didn't look up, didn't answer, and waited quietly.Jiang Yinqi will not interrupt the rest of the narration.Good things we can ask for details, those are some good memories.However, regarding the unpleasant past, Jiang Yinqi will let Xin Yue decide what to say and what not to say.

"Their tears are very stimulating to me. I thought that whether my marriage is happy or not is only related to the two of us. My parents' tears made me realize that marriage will actually change many things. Marriage and family are not the same. Not in isolation."

"From the time I met Lijin to before I got married, I don't remember what I ever "thought". What I said was a kind of real rational thinking. What I thought I thought at the time was actually just proving that our love was romantic and beautiful in every possible way. I think that all other people's objections are either out of jealousy, out of vulgarity, or out of understanding, such as my parents and Liu Lei."

"Liu Lei never likes to work hard, and I also think her boyfriend is not very good. Liu Lei's Prince Charming just proves that her opinion is of no reference value to me. He is the kind of man who is talented but has a soft personality. People are very picky, but they refuse to speak out directly.”

"I don't like people like that because I'm like that myself. I'm also annoyed by my ability to find fault, and I always see flaws in myself and others. I felt lucky to have a job that didn't require thinking, Love that just requires a simple laugh, and I finally managed to get rid of all kinds of anxiety."

"The problem is, for people like me, the essence of life is to substitute one anxiety for another, one desire for another. There is no one-size-fits-all solution. Struggles in mere student days can eliminate my Anxiety, but after entering the society and marriage, he caused me another kind of anxiety that is more terrible, identity anxiety."

"I worked hard to get into a state-owned enterprise and worked as a clerical worker in the office. At that time, life in state-owned enterprises was difficult and the salary was low. He managed the small newspapers inside the company, wrote speeches by leaders, reported trade union activities, etc. because he was handsome. , and often go out to socialize and drink with the factory manager. I don’t see any future for him in a job like this.”

"I joined a foreign company. It was a completely different world from Lijin. At that time, I had serious identity anxiety, very anxious. The most embarrassing thing was to introduce Lijin's career to colleagues and friends. In modern social situations, people always When we meet, we ask each other about work and status, and then act upon hearing the wind, arrange the priorities in our hearts, and finally transform them into attitudes towards you. The more outstanding and glamorous the people around me, the more I can feel people's disdain and ridicule when they look at hard work eyes. A dishonorable job is like wearing a cheap dress to a dinner party."

"Do you think I'm too vain?" Xin Yue stopped talking and asked Jiang Yinqi.

Jiang Yinqi replied very positively, "No. You are not particularly vain, or in other words, we are all almost vain. None of us can appreciate what we have in isolation, nor can we compare ourselves with our ancestors to obtain A sense of accomplishment. We can only judge our own value by comparing with those around us and people of the same level as ourselves. One of the worst things in modern society is to equate social status with human value. This is not you One man's problem is all of us' problem."

"Thank you for saying this. Although I know, you are comforting me. In short, I was extremely anxious. So after I saved a sum of money, I applied for a master's degree at New York University in the United States. I can't change the effort, but I can do it myself effort."

When it finally came to New York, Jiang Yinqi held his breath and waited for the next article.

"New York gave me so much hope. I love it, I love the freedom and strangeness of the city. I think I have to stay there, I can go on to do my PhD, I'm going to build my home there or something City. I want to bring my parents to live together, so that they can enjoy their old age. I am studying, and at the same time, I am doing some small business with China. I soon rented a small house and let Fei go to New York. He can accompany him to study, and also I can slowly learn the language there and adapt to the life there. This is my wishful thinking.”

"The reason why it is called wishful thinking is that it is not only my personal effort, but also hard work together. And I seriously overestimated my influence on him. I firmly believe that hard work can work for me, because I think he He will really stick to his role as a flower protector. I thought he would not become the "waste" he kept saying. But he gave me a disappointing answer. He didn't stand any test at all. Struggle can only be achieved when things are going smoothly. It’s time to get excited.”

"At first, apart from going for a run in the park every day, he just sat at home, listless because of boredom. He didn't want to learn the language, he didn't want to go to the museum, he didn't want to read. Drinking tea and playing cards at work, drinking and socializing, and watching football and running. He has no interest in living in the United States at all, and he doesn’t even want to try.”

"In order to persuade Li to stay in the United States, I took him to travel west, took him to watch his favorite Kobe's NBA game, and took him to Las Vegas to relax. This is the biggest mistake I made. Li Li He made some money in the casinos in Las Vegas, and the key is that he found it extremely exciting and like a fish in water. Since then, he has fallen in love with casinos beyond redemption.”

Only then did Jiang Yinqi understand that Xin Yue's reaction was so intense when he went to the casino.It turned out to be Xin Yue's psychological trauma.Jiang Yinqi laughed at Xin Yue's hysteria.Now she feels sorry that she shouldn't laugh at things she doesn't understand.

"Finally and crazily fell in love with gambling. He wandered around in the casino all day long. He gambled all his pocket money, started stealing the family's living expenses, and then begged me for money, and finally developed into debts outside. I was forced to Use the money to save people."

Jiang Yinqi was very surprised, she didn't expect to hear such a story, and she didn't expect that the weak Xin Yue had such an experience.

Jiang Yinqi couldn't help but moved from the carpet to the sofa, put his arms around Xin Yue's shoulders, and said softly, "I didn't expect it, I'm very sad."

Xin Yue smiled bitterly, "You probably won't think of it later."

Jiang Yinqi caressed Xin Yue's shoulder lightly, without saying a word, but she knew the result, so the effort disappeared.However, after hearing this, she still didn't understand the true meaning of Xin Yue's search for her husband a thousand miles away.

"Li Jin fell in love with other women. Or, there are other women who fell in love with Li Jin." Xin Yue said this with difficulty.

Jiang Yinqi was stunned.

"It took a lot of effort to meet a rich white woman in a casino."

"Did you say that you can't speak English?" Jiang Yinqi couldn't help but ask.

"Yes, at the beginning, Li Jing communicated with the rich woman basically by smiling. In fact, Li Li also learned a few words of English in the casino."

Xin Yue laughed self-deprecatingly, "Fei Jin is so attractive, as long as he wants, he can show courteousness to women with a charming smile. That's how he is, a simple smile, a sincere smile."

Jiang Yinqi almost wanted to ask Xin Yue for a photo to take a look. What kind of smile is it?Jiang Yinqi held back abruptly.