Dazai said he wanted to marry me after amnesia

The funeral took place on a rainy day.

It was raining, and the sky looked like an ink painting full of water.

The sky and the earth are gray, as if the color has been washed away, and the saturation has been dropped several layers.

The funeral was held in a church.

The number of people who came to mourn exceeded the capacity of the church, and the Iwayong Group declined most of them, and only those with strong connections could enter.

[Iwanaga Kotoko] was buried in the cemetery behind the church.

"The world will remember you forever."

"Your faith never fades."

After the priest recited the eulogy, the people who came came lined up to lay flowers for the tombstone.

They uniformly wore black suits, some people held transparent or black umbrellas, and more people did not hold umbrellas.

Paul and Verlaine patted shoulder to shoulder in the team.

The young man lowered his head, clenched teeth were about to bleed, words squeezed out, full of endless pain and regret.

"Shortly before the explosion, Ms. Yan Yong asked me to buy books, who knew that just for a while..."

"I shouldn't have left,? I shouldn't have left..."

"What book to buy? I shouldn't have bought a book!"

"Why didn't I stay by her side!!!"

Verlaine looked down at his younger brother, his throat tightened, and he opened his mouth but couldn't say words of comfort.

His emotional expression is not as obvious as Paul's, but the regret in his heart is no less than Paul's.

If only he hadn't gone to bed then.

Just for a moment,? This happened!

Obviously promised her to guard the orphanage... What the hell are you doing?

Behind the two are Chuya Nakahara and his parents.

Zhongyuan Zhong also tightly clenched his fist, but did not let go.

When it was Chuya Nakahara's turn, he turned around and asked Sakunosuke Oda and Ango Sakaguchi behind him.

"Hey, where's Dazai?!"

Why hasn't it appeared until now!

Yan Yong has been looking for him until his death!

Oda Sakunosuke shook his head.

"We don't know either..."

If Yan Yong was lying when he was looking for someone, he really didn't know this time.

After Dazai rushed out of the bar, the dumbfounded Oda Sakunosuke and Sakaguchi Ango received the news of the explosion.After chasing him out, Dazai has disappeared.

Since then, his whereabouts have been unknown.

Nakahara Chuya: "Damn it,? That bastard——"

His father lowered his voice.

"Zhongye."

Nakahara Chuya: "...Damn it."

No, this is Yan Yong's funeral, he has to restrain himself.

He turned around, took off his hat, and placed flowers in front of the monument.

The flower presentation lasted for a long time, and the crowd dispersed one after another.

The rain was still falling, and the sky was so dark that it seemed to be overwhelmed.

This cemetery is expensive, and not many people can be buried in it.At a glance, there are only a few tombstones on the huge lawn, surrounded by pines and cypresses.

Rainy, no one.

Very quiet.

And because it is a cemetery, it adds a bit of gloom, which makes ordinary people stay away from it.

I do not know how long it has been.

There was the sound of feet on the wet lawn.

Slightly, slap, slap.

The footsteps of the visitor were light and light, like a ray of lonely soul wandering between heaven and earth.

He was wearing a black suit, and it could be seen that he had taken care of it before, but it had become wrinkled and stuck to his body because of the rain.

What didn't match his distressed appearance was a bouquet of white roses in his arms.

Delicate and glamorous, pure and flawless, each flower is carefully selected, and then protected and brought over intact.

Osamu Dazai stopped in front of the tombstone.

The wet hair was messily stuck to the forehead, and the rainwater slid down the ends of the hair from the cheeks, as if weeping for someone who couldn't cry.

He reached out to touch the tombstone, but before his fingertips touched it, he withdrew his hand as if afraid.

He sighed.

Osamu Dazai opened his mouth casually, as if he was chatting normally.

If you ignore the hoarseness in his voice.

"I haven't sent you flowers yet."

He put the bouquet in front of the stele.

Then, Osamu Dazai walked around behind the monument and sat down with his back against the tombstone, as if he was talking back to back with someone in his memory.

He raised his head slightly, feeling the cold touch of rainwater sliding across his cheeks.

"Although compared to flowers, you always say that you are a stone."

"But..." You don't have the tenacious life of a stone.

"I never told you, but actually...you are more beautiful than flowers."

Osamu Dazai closed his eyes and did not speak again.

It was still raining.

The sky gradually darkened, and soon it was completely dark.

It's still raining.

After a few hours, the sky gradually brightened again.The light was still dim because of the rain.

Osamu Dazai remained in this position for the whole night, barely moving.He closed his eyes, tiny drops of water hung on his slender eyelashes, he didn't know if he was asleep or awake.

It's still raining.

Finally, Dazai opened his eyes.

The kite-colored pupils are no longer bright, they are as empty as before they met Kotoko Iwanaga, and more cloudy than before.

He spoke softly, his voice hoarse.

Every breath is like inhaling a bunch of blunt knives, cutting the heart in all directions.

"Qinzi."

"Tell me, if even the gods fall, what should her believers do?"

He raised his head, raised his hand, and looked at the sky between his fingers.

"The rain... when will it stop..."

He was almost out of sight.

……

Osamu Dazai's whereabouts are unknown again.

Everyone who knew about Osamu Dazai and Kotoko Iwanaga was looking for him everywhere.

When I finally found him, it was three days later.

Osamu Dazai opened his eyes, and his eyes were as white as snow.

White ceiling, white bed curtains, white sheets.

He was also wearing a light blue hospital gown, and the cold liquid was being pumped into his body.

The air smelled of disinfectant.

It is the medical room of the orphanage.

A slender figure was reflected on the bed curtain.Probably heard a slight movement, and the bed curtain was pulled open.

Verlaine's calm voice came.

"you're awake."

The blond man sat on the chair next to him with his legs crossed and closed the book in his hand.

The boy on the bed didn't look at him at all, just quietly staring at the void, as if in a daze.

After a while, he raised his wrist.There were several layers of gauze wrapped around the thin wrist, and at first glance it looked like it was seriously injured.

But Osamu Dazai knew that under the action of mermaid meat, there were no scars inside, and the skin was smooth and clean without any traces.

He sighed.

"Have I been deprived of the right to die for love?"

Verlaine watched the scene.

"Do you know how I found you?"

Knowing that Osamu Dazai would not answer him, Verlaine continued.

"That's the ability of the eyeliner you arranged in the orphanage, it can make people in the designated area lose their sense of existence."

"You used this trick to deal with the young man who came to the orphanage to look for Yan Yong. He was there, but no one took the initiative to think of him for three days, and he couldn't find him."

"This ability works on space, as long as you don't touch the edge of the space, it can also work on you."

If it was Osamu Dazai who was conscious, no one would be able to find him without the help of supernatural powers.

But if he does something dangerous, he will lose consciousness for a period of time.In the case of full dispatch, it is inevitable that they will not be found within this period of time.

He didn't want to be disturbed, so he would bring this supernatural being nearby.

"Although the eyeliner is also very difficult to find, it is at least a little easier than yours."

"As long as you find the eyeliner, you can be found."

"—she told me this clue, let me watch you."

But, Iwanaga.

You don't understand feelings.

Verlaine thought.

Even if there are tens of thousands of people who care, they can't compare to that one person.

Lost vacancies can never be made up.

He originally thought that he, as a supernatural life form, was a different kind, but now it seems that Yan Yong is even more so.

It seems to be full of emotion, but in fact it is dull and indifferent.

No matter what, Yan Yong has told him so, and he will still do it.

Looking at Osamu Dazai now, Verlaine seemed to see himself that night.

Rimbaud taught him feelings, the lost friends will never come back, because he doesn't know how to cherish them.

"I understand how you feel."

"I was expecting something to change me, but I didn't find anything... No, maybe I had it before, but I didn't realize it. When I knew it, it was too late."

"—this despair."

Verlaine was silent for a moment.

"It was Iwanaga who gave me the hope of living."

Therefore, he also wants to do something, to give the same hope to the people Yan Yong cares about.

Osamu Dazai turned his head, his black hair was messily spread on the pillow, making his face even paler.

He twitched the corner of his mouth sarcastically.

hope?

The word has never been so ridiculous.

"What deal did she make with you, Rimbaud?"

"Yes, but more than that."

Verlaine said: "Whether it's a human child or a supernatural life form like me, in the process of getting along with them, I gradually realized the meaning of the so-called family and friends."

Not so alone anymore.

"Maybe that's what she really wants to give me."

Whether it is out of the agreement with Yan Yong or in his heart, he will protect the orphanage.

Verlaine took out Osamu Dazai's cell phone and put it beside the bed.

He found it next to Osamu Dazai when he went to find him, and the electricity had been out for a long time.

"The battery is fully charged."

"She should have sent you a lot of emails."

"It's up to you to choose to watch it or not."

After speaking, Verlaine got up and left the room.

After a moment of silence, Osamu Dazai pulled himself together, half sat up, picked up his phone and clicked on the inbox.

In addition to the work contact and Oda Zuo's emails expressing their concern, there are dozens of unread emails left, all of which are from Iwanaga Kotoko.

He knew when Qinzi sent him the first email.He knew when every email was sent after that.

He kept looking at her.

Just lack the courage to open it.

Qinzi seems to understand this too, so she keeps sending him emails, injecting courage bit by bit.

Just when he made up his mind, he received bad news from the orphanage.

If he had opened it earlier, seen it earlier, and communicated with Qinzi earlier...

Can things still turn around?

If Qinzi would not go to the orphanage, but come to the city to find him, then he would not encounter the bomb maniac.

Or, he will go to Qinzi, and even if he encounters a bomb maniac, he will find a solution together instead of letting her face it alone...

He clearly knew that she was the type who didn't care about her own safety, he clearly knew it!

It is useless to say these now.

It's too late.

everything is over.

Osamu Dazai took a few deep breaths, raised his hand, and opened the first email with trembling fingertips.

【Mr. Dazai, where are you? 】

I'm here, Qinzi.

[Come out and talk, please. 】

it is good.

[I have recovered my memory.Dazai-san, you won't be angry with me, will you? 】

Nothing.

[Thinking about it, I'm really sorry, there is such a thing as admitting the wrong person. 】

【No wonder Mr. Dazai has been denying it before. 】