[Transformers] Once upon a time there was a machine

Brain-opening KUSO text~~

If Megatron is infected by a human virus, he can rule the entire universe in just 25 days~~=V=

KUSO, hilarious.

****

first day

I woke up.

Those damned humans gave me a lot of information when they recreated me, and I also learned a lot by myself, almost the entire history of mankind!Probably these information processing wasted a lot of my time, so my deep consciousness is only now waking up.

I went back to the Decepticon battleship, and those carbon-based intelligence made my chip evolve to a higher and deeper level.I think, I'm smarter and stronger than before, even ruling the universe is a matter of seconds, but...

I feel so lazy right now -v-...

When you already know the ending of the story, are you still interested in reading it?Of course not, you will throw the book aside.

I am in this state now.Now that I already know that this universe will belong to me sooner or later, the process of ruling is very troublesome, and I feel like I can't do it myself.A game with no suspense at all is not interesting at all.

-0- Well, today's task, Decepticons, um, repair the damage first, store energy, stand by and wait, it's over.

Um?Sonic what's your problem?Say I seem to be sick?No, how could I be sick, you got it wrong.Um?Have the doctor check me out?No, this is too much trouble.By the way, Sonic, that's right, I'm bored now... oh no, it's because the taste of the energy block is too simple and I'm bored.You know, on earth we can only eat one flavor, I really feel very haggard TT.

What?Do you actually have grape-flavored energy bars?I didn't say it earlier, you kid actually hid it!Cough cough, I mean, right now I'm in need of dietary adjustment, look... good sound wave, um, it does taste good.Pass the formula to the mass production machine, I think I... I mean our army needs to adjust the taste.What did you say?And strawberry? 0V0? ?

"Master Megatron!!! It's not good, the Autobots are attacking!!!"

After the reporter shouted this sentence, he was stunned for another two seconds before recovering from the visual violence of the intelligence officer feeding Lord Megatron to eat energy blocks.

bother.

trouble.

What a hassle! !

Why attack when I'm enjoying delicious grapes oh no, new flavor energy bars! !

It's too much trouble, I don't want to come by myself!

"Starscream, you go deal with... deal with the Autobots."

So, after 10 minutes passed, I received such a notification: "Megatron, Starscream has been captured, and your slag has grown!"

I turned to look at Soundwave.

"Record it and broadcast it to the human commander in charge of the alien incident."

Going to save Starscream is too troublesome.Leave it to humans to judge who is the violent >v<. PS, if you want to record the sound wave when Xiaohong is dismantled~~ We haven't watched a restricted movie for a long time.

Sonic nodded, draggingly edited out the brutal image of Optimus Prime attacking the Decepticons, especially the brutal face-slapping, and threw it to humans.

Let's see who we are violent, ╭(╯^╰)╮.

the next day"

I'm starting to get tired of the Autobots harassing us every day.

Is it the period of burnout?I don't know, in short, how beautiful it is to lie on the charging bed and eat energy grapes and strawberries every day!Why, why do you always bother me four or five times a day ahhhhhhh!

So I got angry, and I suddenly realized a truth, to restore a lazy and happy life, I must stop these harassing bastards.

"Sound Wave, I'm going to open a public channel—I mean, I'm going to talk to senior officials and governments of various countries in the human world."

Soundwave nodded, and quickly docked a satellite to enter the public channel.

But I couldn't help the corners of my mouth twitching, this... I shouldn't underestimate the intelligence personnel's downline.Is it true that intelligence is half based on strength and half on beauty?That satellite is constantly picking up channels that shouldn't be connected, and I think it has fallen under your tentacle.

I cleared my throat and began to speak.

Leaders of humanity, I am Megatron, the leader of the Decepticons.No, in view of the fact that my planet has been unified by me and Shockwave is managing it, it should be said that I am Megatron, the national leader of Cybertron.I declare in advance that my right to rule my planet has been approved by the United Universe Council (of course, I will not tell you what kind of council I am just about to establish), so I am the legal president of my planet.I came to Earth not because of a mission, but to capture the war criminal Optimus Prime and his rebels.I think you have seen the previous videos and expansions, and understand how brutal the rebel organization that claims to be the Autobots is—especially their boss Optimus Prime, who brainwashed many Cybertronians and him in a righteous tone engage in terrorism together.Yes, it's the same reason as that "holy religion" organization on your earth is actually a cult, it's a scum in the skin of justice.

I now ask you to hand over the fugitives whose crimes need to be tried by our military courts.If he seeks political asylum for you, I also hope that you can look at this issue calmly. If you do so, it means that you must guarantee and promise that they will not leave your border, which is the earth.Once they leave, I, the Supreme President of Cybertron, will recognize you as the true backer of the reactionary terrorist forces and give you a military strike.

Leaders of the Earth, you have two options. First, hand them over to us peacefully as war criminals. Then everything will be normal. We will not invade your planet, and we are looking forward to technical cooperation with you. Our technology is as interested as we are in your culture.

The second choice is that you guarantee them with the identity of the earth, and accept their political asylum.As I said just now, this means that they are not allowed to leave the earth. Once they leave, you, the guarantors, will be considered responsible, and we will list the earth that violated the promise on the list of countries that are dangerous/requiring military intervention in the universe council.

In consideration of your Earth holidays, please reply to us within three working days.Thanks.

When we're done, let me have a drink—huh?Why are you looking at me with surprise and admiration?I just synthesized the excerpts of the speeches made by the governments of several countries on the earth on certain events.What about sound waves?Was called away by Shockwave because of the satellite?Hmm... Tell him that I can still use that intelligence officer, don't tear it down too much.