You are like the sun and the spring breeze

I met Tang Lingshuang again in the Spring Festival of 2018, only one month after I met Zhang Kan. She brought her son to the emergency room late that night.When the nurse handed me the patient information, I froze for a moment, 11 years old.

The child was playful, and climbed over the wall to go out in the middle of the night. As a result, he stepped on the air and fell. Fortunately, he only suffered a little skin trauma.

"Tomorrow at 8 o'clock in the morning, go to the lobby on the first floor to pay the fee, and then go to the basement floor for a CT scan of the brain to rule out the possibility of concussion, but so far, it should be fine. The injured place should not touch water for a week, and the stitches will be removed after a week. "

She took the form, but didn't intend to leave, and asked tentatively, "Are you Yu Shufan from Liuzhen No. [-] Middle School?"

I recognized her at a glance, because she was still so beautiful, but I didn't want her to recognize me.She thought that she would not notice that she was wearing a mask the whole time, but who knew it was still revealed.

"Really? I've been observing for a long time. Although the voice has changed a bit, the appearance is exactly the same as before!"

The more she talked, the more excited she became, and I couldn't hide it, so I pulled off my mask and greeted her: "Long time no see, Ah Shuang."

"Yes!" She completely forgot that she had an injured son, and dragged a stool to sit next to me to reminisce: "I haven't seen you for more than ten years, and you haven't changed at all. You are the best in our class now, The doctor at Lucheng No. [-] Hospital is amazing."

"You look good too."

She and her son have a lot of famous brands, and their financial conditions are not bad.

"How can I compare with you, the business of raising a family, opening a small online store, and now live broadcasting and delivering goods every day, staying up until three or four in the morning, otherwise I wouldn't be able to catch this kid sneaking out in the middle of the night." After speaking, she patted her son on the shoulder.

"Ouch." Her son yelled, "Mom, tap lightly, I'm a patient."

"I'm the patient's mother, please say hello, Dr. Yu is your mother's classmate in elementary school and junior high school."

The son was dumbfounded, and he said, "Mom, you still have a classmate who is a doctor."

Tang Lingshuang was instantly annoyed. She grabbed her son's ears and taught him a lesson: "How do you talk? Your mother can't read, but it doesn't mean your mother can't have a classmate who can read."

"Ah, it hurts." The son called out under threat: "Hello, Aunt Yu."

I was amused by the interaction between the mother and son, and instantly felt a lot less tired from the night shift, "Hello."

"By the way, Shufan, I'll add you on WeChat, and I will be in Lucheng from now on, so I have someone to take care of you." As she spoke, she clicked on the QR code.

Because my mobile phone is on the table, it is not easy to refuse, so I added it.

Tang Lingshuang's WeChat account is her selfie.

I thought the matter was over, but she suddenly wanted to draw me closer to the wechat groups in elementary and junior high schools.I refused again and again before she gave up.

"Hey, one you, one Zhang Kan, it's as if the world has evaporated, and no one has your contact information."

"Zhang Kan." I asked, "Don't you have his contact information?"

"No, I broke up with him less than a month after we talked in junior high school, and we never contacted him again."

Less than a month, that child.

Seemingly knowing that I had doubts in my heart, she told her son to wait for her outside.

After the door was closed, she confirmed that her son was not eavesdropping, and then she spoke with confidence: "Looking at Zihan's age, you should have guessed it. I changed schools suddenly because I was pregnant. Zihan was conceived when I was 15 years old, not Zhang Kan. Yes, it belonged to my ex-boyfriend. At that time, my parents asked me to kill me, but I refused to live or die, and wanted to give birth. They couldn’t screw me, and said to the outside world that I had transferred to another school. After completing the formalities, they sent me to Zhou City to give birth. After giving birth to Zihan, the household registration fell on my parents. After the family returned to Lucheng, they did not return to Liuzhen, because they were afraid that the people in the village would be noisy, so they simply stayed in the urban area of ​​Lucheng. My parents sacrificed for me and Zihan Fortunately, I survived a lot, and I also made some money doing live broadcasts in the past few years. I bought a house in Lucheng with a loan, and now my family of four lives there. The house is on Suinan Road, not far from your hospital, so I hung up in the middle of the night. Emergency room, just came here."

"Does your ex-boyfriend know about the child?"

Tang Lingshuang wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes, and said, "He didn't know, no one else could contact me when I was pregnant. Zhang Kan knew, and it was found out not long after I was with him."

"Then what did he say?"

"He's a gentleman. Although it's not appropriate to say that about a teenager, Zhang Kan is a real gentleman in my eyes. He was a gentleman before and he is still a gentleman now. When he was with me, he didn't have any wrong thoughts. I The ex-boyfriend couldn't be contacted, so he went to the billiard hall and Internet cafe to find someone. Later, I didn't want to delay him, so I broke up. Only he knew about my going to Zhou City to give birth, and now it seems that he has been helping me keep it a secret."

After Tang Lingshuang left, I went back to the office, looked through Zhang Kan's medical records, found his contact information, and decided to call the next day to inquire about his recent situation.

A woman answered Zhang Kan's call. Her voice was very hoarse, as if she had just cried.

"Hello, who is it?"

"Hi, I'm a doctor from Lucheng First Hospital. Is this Zhang Kan's phone?"

The woman's voice made me panic, and I decided to face her with another identity.

"Yes."

"May I ask if he can come for a follow-up visit soon, last time—"

"Akan, he passed away the day before yesterday. He no longer has to go to the hospital and suffer." The girl on the other end of the phone cried bitterly.

My ears buzzed, and the strength in my whole body was quickly pulled away, and I slumped on the seat, unable to move for a long time.

Zhang Kan, passed away.

I obviously only saw him a month ago, although his face is not good, but it won't be so fast.

I quickly scanned his medical records, gastroenteritis, appendix surgery, broken arm, myocardial damage, high blood pressure, all of which were controlled by surgery and medication, all were fine.However, with severe depression, when I read the last page of the medical certificate, I finally understood why he left.

Zhang Kan's memorial service was not held in Liuzhen, but in a public funeral home on the outskirts of Lucheng.After I told Tang Lingshuang the news, she cried for a long time, and after waiting to calm down, she said, "I'll go with you."

She originally wanted to send this news to the elementary school group, but I stopped it. This is the meaning of Zhang Kan's sister, and also Zhang Kan's meaning. He doesn't want too many people to attend the funeral.

"Akan didn't like to be lively when he was alive. He often joked with me that if he died one day, his brother-in-law and I would be enough for the funeral, because only we would be sad for his departure. If too many people came, he said he would He was so angry that he crawled out of the coffin and drove people away. I think, for the last time, let him go more easily."

After I explained to my sister the reason for the call and assured that only Tang Lingshuang would be notified, she gave me the address of the mourning hall.

"At least, tell Fang Yu." Tang Lingshuang said.

"Fang Yu knows that Zhang Kan's sister called to inform him, after all, he was Zhang Kan's only childhood playmate." I said.

That day, it was a sunny day in Lucheng, and the year was not over yet, but it was not cold.Tang Lingshuang and I came to the mourning hall early in the morning.Three wreaths were set up in the mourning hall, one was drawn by his sister and brother-in-law, the other was drawn by two colleagues Zhang Kan worked with before his death, and the third was written "Best friend Fang Yujing".

I looked at the portrait, and there was a handsome young man sealed under the black and white background. He should be seventeen or eighteen years old, similar to the one I met in high school.With a bright smile, full of vigor and vitality, illness has nothing to do with him.

I suddenly thought of the falling process of a meteor.After the meteoroid enters the earth at high speed, as the density of the atmosphere increases, the pressure generated by the shock wave increases, and the surface temperature gradually increases. Then, at a height of more than 100 kilometers above the ground, the atmospheric resistance causes the meteoroid to slow down and the surface glows. , forming a bolide.After that, the surface material begins to vaporize and erode, forming a meteor tail, and then it will make a sound. Before falling to the bottom, the molten surface layer quickly solidifies and becomes a molten shell, and finally, it hits the ground and becomes a meteorite.

I have such a deep memory of the process of the meteor falling, but such a star fell in front of me, but I didn't know it.

Perhaps, Zhang Kan's fall also has a process.It’s just that I was young and ignorant, and I haven’t experienced the hardships of life, so when he asked me if I was going well, I didn’t pay attention to the helplessness in his words. When he heard that I was admitted to Lucheng No. [-] Middle School, I ignored the envy in his eyes , When he waved goodbye to me, I didn't see the sea-like sadness in his eyes at all.

Zhang Kan, will you forgive me?

Zhang Kan, will you blame me?

That day, Tang Lingshuang and I cried for a long time in the mourning hall.

When we went up to say hello to Sister Zhang Kan, her eyes were already swollen and she needed the support of her husband to stand up. Even so, she got up and bowed deeply to Tang Lingshuang and me, and said, "Thank you, my heart. Always thinking about Akan, he will be very happy to see you come."

Tang Lingshuang asked, "Has Fang Yu been here?"

My sister replied: "Ah Yu was here a few days ago. Today, I have something to do with work, so I went back first. Tomorrow he will be cremated and come back." Speaking of this, my sister felt sad again, "Ah Yu is such a good child, if he is in Ah Yu By Kan's side, he won't be overwhelmed, and he won't just leave."

Tang Lingshuang: "Sister, didn't Fang Yu and Zhang Kan get in touch later?"

Sister: "No, when Akan was in the second year of junior high school, my dad owed a lot of debts. He took me and Akan out of Liuzhen and fled to Lucheng in order to avoid the debt. At that time, the three of us made money together to pay off the debts. Akan didn't feel bitter. Occasionally, I would play games and make phone calls with my friends. But seven years ago, the creditors came to my door, and my dad died of a heart attack. Since then, Akan has changed. He was tortured beyond human appearance. I went to work in KTV and worked part-time at a barbecue stall at night. At that time, he deleted all the contact information of all his friends and classmates. Ayu’s contact information was only when I passed by his shop last year and saw his photo. I later gave Akan his cell phone number, but he didn't contact Ayu until his death."

I understood that he left a month ago, he would avoid Fang Yu, and naturally he would avoid me.

I recalled the diagnosis and treatment sheets, and asked, "Did Zhang Kan leave anything?"

When my sister heard the words, she glanced at me and said, "Yes."

She took out a small envelope from her pocket with a suicide note written on it, and inside was a note.

"This sentence is from the Book of Job in the Bible." My sister explained.

There is a line of beautiful words on the note: Why is light given to those who are in trouble?Why is life given to the one whose heart is troubled?

On the day of the cremation, it was drizzling and there were only 5 people who saw Zhang Kan off, his sister, brother-in-law, Fang Yu, Tang Lingshuang and me.

There is a large digital screen hanging in the crematorium foyer, which is similar to the time screen at the airport. The burning information flashes quickly on it, who is waiting, and who is in which furnace.I have never felt this way even in the hospital before. It turns out that human death is such a crowded thing.

With my sister's permission, the three of us watched the cremation process together with our family members in front of the furnace.He was pushed into a dark place, and after the staff beside him announced his cremation, there was the roar of a machine.

"Boom! Boom! Boom!"

It was the sound of his passing away.

My sister was supported by her husband and wept bitterly. Tang Lingshuang and I covered our faces and wept bitterly.

Zhang Kan, you have worked hard in this life.

My sister decided to bury Zhang Kan on Mount Luanyi in Liuzhen.

My sister said, "He was in Liuzhen, and it was the happiest time in his life."

Tang Lingshuang and Fang Yu went home with her, but I declined on the grounds of work.

On the way home, the sky cleared up.

I looked at the sky, and the boy in my memory looked back, free and easy, melancholy, lonely and pure, smiling like a bright sun, and walking like a spring breeze.

If I could go back to the past, I don't want to silently watch him disappear from my sight again and again, I want to shout loudly to that free and easy figure: "Zhang Kan, you are not an ant of God, you are a shining star, Pentium The rivers in full bloom, the flowers in full bloom, and the bright sun are all the brilliance and beauty in the world, and you are the eternal youth in my heart!"

His name is Zhang Kan, he went from smooth to tied hair, rough and half his life.