Dazai wants to dye this green

To be honest, among the five men squeezed together, Xia Youjie was the only one who had real experience in holding parent-teacher meetings.

The rest of Mori Ogai Gojo Satoru and his group actually just bit the bullet to help Saya. When they sat in the classroom and started listening to the head teacher's speech, they let their thoughts fly one by one, and they didn't listen carefully at all.Only Jianren Nanami took a pen and jotted down some key points of his speech in Dazai Osamu's exercise book, planning to let Dazai Osamu take it back and show it to Saya later.

"In this exam, most of the students in our class have made some progress, and one of them got full marks in all subjects and got the first place in the whole grade." The head teacher read to the grade list, "This classmate is—— —”

"Osamu Dazai!"

All the classmates and parents in the class applauded sparsely, and Gojo Satoru straightened his back proudly, even making Osamu Dazai sitting on his lap look taller.

"That's right, it's my child." Mori Ogai said humbly to an envious parent next to him, "I will tutor him in his studies every night... Alas, being smart is smart, but it is also important for children to work hard! You say this child ? This is my youngest daughter, who is smarter than Mr. Dazai, and she will definitely be able to get full marks in every family in the future."

Dazai Osamu: You have to show some face!

"This time we also arranged for Mr. Dazai to share his learning experience with you." The homeroom teacher announced dryly, "Let us welcome Mr. Dazai!"

Seeing Wujo Wu's clapping vigor, those who didn't know it thought it wasn't his friend's younger brother who went up, but Fu Heihui was admitted to Harvard.

Osamu Dazai jumped off Gojo Satoru's legs with the speech he had prepared long ago. Xia Youjie, who was sitting next to Gojo Satoru, had to lift him up and hand him to Fukuzawa Yukichi, who in turn handed him to Mori Ogai, who was sitting on the outermost side, passed the children to the corridor one by one.

Alice even gave a hand.

Osamu Dazai pretended that the child who was carried around just now was not himself at all.He tore down his school uniform shirt, strutted up to the podium, looked around the classroom and looked up at his students and parents (and pretended not to see the five huddled together in the corner) man), and took out two densely written speeches from his pocket.

... Good guy, it turned out that we came prepared!

"Uncles and aunts, students, hello everyone, I am Osamu Dazai."

The beginning was very well-behaved. Osamu Dazai read the two manuscript papers torn from his homework book, not to mention expressively, but also not to say that he was weak. At least Mori Ogai felt that the child did not embarrass him.

"Although I have only been in this class for a short month, I have achieved very good results under the guidance of the teacher and the help of all the students. In order to repay you, I will share my learning experience and help everyone make progress together. .”

Osamu Dazai paused, and met the eager eyes of the parents in the audience, he said:

"My experience is—"

Many parents stabbed their children and told them to listen carefully.

"—Watch more "Kamen Rider"!"

……

head teacher:……?

"That's right, it was "Kamen Rider" that allowed me to get the good grades I have today!" Osamu Dazai said impassionedly, "What is "Kamen Rider"? Is it just a special feature film about justice defeating evil? ? No! It is a classic series that has great guiding significance for life!"

He suddenly pointed to a classmate under the stage: "Rules! Let me ask you, what does the 'Kamen' in Kamen Rider mean?"

The code student replied in a panic: "Yes, is it the leather case they wore after transforming?"

"Kamen Rider's 'mask' is a tool that brings them infinite power, and can also cover up their original identity as a normal person. But think about it, why does Kamen Rider cover himself while gaining power? What about his face? Is it because he is ugly?"

Code students can not answer.

"No, it's because their power will cause more disasters, let more evil people target them, and even affect their family and friends, and eventually lose their normal and peaceful life." Osamu Dazai didn't watch his speech at all. Instead, he continued in his usual very irritating and carefree tone, "Heroes who protect justice did not end well, and many Kamen Riders even ended up sacrificing themselves. This does not mean that the world is not Is it beautiful and fulfilling? Is it possible that life can be spent in chaos for decades under the support of such evil people who are full of rubbish and good people who don't get good rewards?"

The head teacher is already stupid: No, this, what does this have to do with learning experience? !

Osamu Dazai shook his head: "I learned one thing during the short time watching "Kamen Rider"...the more painstakingly I try to understand the meaning of life and find the answers to the questions on the test paper, the more I will find Human abilities have limits, and life is meaningless..."

"Unless, beyond human."

Gojo Satoru slowly took off his sunglasses, and stared at Osamu Dazai with his big smoky blue eyes.

The head teacher asked with trembling lips, "What exactly do you want to say?"

Osamu Dazai sneered, and suddenly tore off his school uniform jacket, revealing the genuine toy belt around his waist: "——I'm not a man anymore, Saya!!!"

"Kamen Rider, transform!!!"

………………

"Why is the classroom next door so noisy?"

The parent meeting of Class B of the fourth grade continued in an orderly manner. Saya had just softly comforted her by saying that the test scores did not mean everything. As a result, there was a very strange noise from the classroom next door. The head teacher of class B had to ask the parents and students to wait for a while, and hurried to the next door to see what happened.

About 2 minutes later, Chuya's homeroom teacher came back.

"It's not a big deal..." But her face was not very good-looking, "I'm going to call the dean, so please wait a little longer."

Saya recalled that the next door was Class A where Dazai Osamu belonged, so she couldn't help asking: "Teacher, what happened next door?"

The class teacher hesitated: "It's nothing, it's probably, um, maybe, maybe..."

"...A student said that he wanted to become Kamen Rider, so he ate a poisonous mushroom. Now he seems to see a dancing villain in front of his eyes, waving his brother-in-law's sword and saying that he wants to become Kamen Rider Saber... something like that of."

Before leaving, the head teacher added: "However, his brother-in-laws have already held him down. Don't worry, there is no major problem except that his brother-in-laws are all carrying controlled knives."

Saya: ……………

Osamu Dazai, what have you done, Osamu Dazai? !

wrong--

Why did those guys bring knives when they came to the parent meeting? !

So who made Osamu Dazai secretly take the knife away? !

After all, the parent-teacher meeting could not continue. The parents and students of Class A were scared and ran to the corridor. Only the head teacher who almost passed out was left in the classroom, and the other four who held Dazai Osamu's limbs, Mori Ogai preparing to induce vomiting.

"Tai, classmate Dazai's older sister!" The homeroom teacher tremblingly stepped forward to complain after seeing Saya coming, "Your brother——!"

Saya ignored him at all, but went straight to check Dazai's situation: "What's the matter, Dr. Mori, is Dazai okay?!"

"Induce vomiting in time, and the poisoning should not be too deep, but after that, you still have to send him for gastric lavage." Mori Ogai lifted Dazai Osamu's eyelids and looked, "If you can trust me, I will take him to the port mafia right now, The medical equipment there is complete."

Before Saya could say anything, Fukuzawa Yukichi immediately questioned: "Why did you take the child to the port mafia? Can't you just go to the nearby hospital?"

"Osamu Dazai was adopted without formal procedures, and none of you can tell where the poisonous mushrooms came from. Either way is enough to deprive Saya of custody. If anyone in the hospital wants to interfere, call the police directly What should we do?" Mori Ogai sneered, "Leaving aside Dazai-kun's petty thoughts, at least Saya doesn't want to lose him just like this."

Sha Ye let go of her lower lip, which had been bitten by her just now, and said decisively: "Go to the port mafia, please, Dr. Sen."

"It'll be fine." Mori Ogai easily hugged the unconscious Osamu Dazai, "You and Zhong shouldn't come together, the medical department is close to the leader's residence, if he or someone around him finds out between us Being close is not a good thing."

Xia Youjie suddenly raised his hand and brushed off his monk's robe, and Wutiao Wu glanced at him without saying anything.

"Sorry, Miss Saya." Nanami Kento bowed his head slightly to Saya to apologize, "I didn't take good care of Mr. Dazai, he stole the dagger I was carrying before going on stage... I didn't take care of it properly."

"It's not your fault, that kid Dazai is very talented in picking locks and stealing." Saya found a desk and sat down wearily, "I just can't figure out why he made such a fuss today."

Fukuzawa Yukichi should have guessed in his heart, but he didn't speak in the end.

Chuya's face was also ugly, and he was also worried about Dazai Osamu's situation in his heart, but he complained as soon as he said: "This guy has always been like this, and he will think of various ways to commit suicide if he doesn't care about it. We take a bath together Sometimes he will use the name of holding his breath during the competition to drown himself... Maybe he has hidden that poisonous mushroom on his body for a long time, and he plans to find a sensational moment to eat it in front of many people!"

Gojo Satoru looked thoughtfully at the murmuring students and parents in the corridor, and said to himself: "Since it is suicide, for the sake of success rate, of course we should find a secluded place to take poison. Eating poisonous mushrooms knowing that Dr. Mori is around?"

Xia Youjie understood Wujo Wu's meaning almost immediately, and he looked back at Saya sympathetically, but Saya was still in a daze.

"...He didn't intend to commit suicide in the first place, he just wanted to achieve a certain purpose by doing this kind of thing." Fukuzawa Yukichi explained to Saya with a dark face.

Sha Ye asked: "What purpose does he need to eat poisonous mushrooms to achieve?"

"For example, committing suicide in a public place like the parent meeting, in order to let the parents force the principal to expel him... something like that?" Wujo Satoru guessed lightly.

But everyone at the scene felt that the truth of the matter might still be like this.

"By the way." Xia Youjie sighed, and patted Sha Ye on the shoulder, "Although the little guy was too fast just now, I didn't see it clearly, but judging from the shape and pattern... that mushroom, it shouldn't be What kind of highly poisonous poisonous mushrooms are just painted with red food coloring to disguise themselves as poisonous mushrooms."

In other words, Osamu Dazai's so-called poisoning performance just now was all fake.

The reason for the painstaking efforts to make this scene is also very simple:

He doesn't want to go to school.

-------------------------------------

"You are poisoned."

"I'm pretending!"

"I saw you eat poisonous mushrooms with my own eyes, and said that there were villains dancing in front of you."

"That's a fake poisonous mushroom!"

"How can you prove that it's fake? To be on the safe side, I have to wash your stomach."

Osamu Dazai was firmly pressed on the bed by Mori Ogai, kicking and kicking his legs vigorously: "I have already said that I am faking it - don't wash my stomach! Don't give me anesthesia!"

"Children who lie to others have to pay a certain price." Mori Ogai took the syringe filled with anesthetic from Alice's hand with a smile, and gestured to Osamu Dazai's arm, "Let me think about it, I will let you sleep later How long is better? After you fall asleep, how do you deal with bad kids? Draw a pig's head on your face? Hang a sign saying 'I'm sorry Shaye, I won't dare again' for a group photo? Or take more chances? Take a picture of you sleeping with your tongue out and drooling?"

"You're so heartbroken!" Osamu Dazai tried his best to avoid the needle, "I...I'll make a deal with you!"

Mori Ogai asked curiously: "You have become the fish on my chopping board, what qualifications do you have to negotiate terms with me?"

"Because I can help you do what you've always wanted to do!"

"You can't help me with what I want to do." Mori Ogai shook his head.

"It's another one!"

Besides replacing the leader, is there anything else this kid can do to help him?

The black doctor was also a little curious: "What's the matter?"

Osamu Dazai: "I can make you the only real brother-in-law among the five people who went to the parent-teacher meeting today!"

Mori Ogai: ………………

"Selling my sister for glory, I think you still need to clean up." Mori Ogai turned Dazai Osamu one by one, "No more injections, spanking today!"

Osamu Dazai:! ?

Mori Tokai!You are not a character who beats children, Sen Donghai——I want to file a complaint with Kiryu Liumei! ! !To sue! ! !