little city

I haven't written to Jing Shu for a long time, and she didn't reply to the last letter I sent.We lost contact, as if the other party no longer existed, but it was really in my heart, aching.I couldn't resist writing another letter.

Jing Shu,

How are you?Spring is here, and my life is about to enter a new chapter.

I vaguely may have met another person who is worth cherishing.She is a psychology major, and she can see through me at a glance, which allows me to get along with her naturally, without hiding or burdening each other.

Most of the time, I think about the meaning of life, just like why people die.If pain is doomed, happy moments are more precious, and I would like to cherish those happy moments.I am trying to make myself live a more carefree and free life. Only by opening my heart can the world open its arms and embrace me.

I am satisfied with new encounters and am grateful for all encounters.

You are far away, I miss you a lot.wishing all the best.

Little

After breaking up with Xiaoxin last time, I didn't take the initiative to call her, and she didn't look for me either.One day, I really wanted to call Xiaoxin, but for some reason, I still didn't.

About ten days later, that day, I went to school for a biochemical experiment class. I just walked out of the school and was about to return to the rented house. Unexpectedly, we ran into each other head-on.

She still called senior brother from afar, I thought she would be angry that I didn't contact her, but seeing her cheerful as before, I also put a stone in my heart.

"Senior brother, why are you so ruthless? Last time I invited you to dinner, you didn't invite me back to dinner, so you disappeared from the world?"

"No, brother is just busy." I was busy making excuses, and I really felt a little guilty.

"No matter how busy you are, you still have to eat. It just so happens that choosing a day is worse than bumping into the day. Today is it!"

In fact, I am looking forward to being with Xiaoxin in my heart, at least life will not be boring.

We went to the Sichuan restaurant next to the school. I remembered the scene where I ate here with Jingshu before. It is inevitable that you are a little depressed.

"what are you busy with recently?"

"Me? I don't have anything to do. I just wait for my brother's call every day. Isn't it stupid?"

"No, don't tease brother. I'm serious with you."

"Brother, how can I say hello to you? You can't always face your true self. I said last time that you still have room to change if you want to, but if you don't change, it's really hopeless."

"Then what should I do?"

"You have to face yourself. For example, if you want me, just say it. Why do you always hide it? It's so boring to be in love. Let's just talk about it, shall we?"

I am a big man, and I am educated by Xiaoxin every day, so I really have no temper at all.

"Okay, then senior brother tells you the truth, senior brother doesn't love you, he loves someone else, don't wait so stupid, big fool."

Xiaoxin's face turned red and white, and she was good at adjusting herself.

"Senior brother, that's great. I like it when you express your feelings so straightforwardly, but I will wait for you."

"Don't wait for me, no one can take her place in my heart."

After I finished speaking, I suddenly felt that I was serious. Even though I was always thinking about Jingshu, I couldn't deny my affection for Xiaoxin.I really can't bear to hurt her.

"Give brother some more time."

"Okay." Xiaoxin started to eat silently, and was hurt by my serious refusal.

After dinner, I want to go back to the dormitory, and Xiaoxin insists on going to see my home with me.Frankly speaking, how can I meet people in my dormitory.But I couldn't refuse Xiaoxin's insistence at all, so I agreed.I have repeatedly emphasized that you must be mentally prepared and don't be overwhelmed by the strange smell in my room.

Unexpectedly, as soon as Xiaoxin entered my room, she immediately threw herself on my bed, grabbed my messy quilt, and murmured: "So this is the smell of my senior brother?"

I just can't handle it at all.

Before I greeted her properly, she started to help me tidy up the room like a housekeeper, holding a rag, carrying a basin, rolling up her sleeves, and looking like she was doing a lot.

I couldn't stop it. From the moment Xiaoxin came in, this room was already filled with the color and breath of life.I can't resist yearning for this breath.

So, after working for a while, my stinking hut seemed to have changed owners.The sheets and quilts were replaced with brand new ones, the ashes on the bookshelves were wiped, and every book was not spared, and all the sundries on the balcony were cleaned out and thrown away as garbage.

Xiaoxin lay on my bed satisfied, and asked me to play a song for her as a reward.

I couldn't refuse Xiaoxin's kindness, took the guitar, fine-tuned the strings, and sang the song "Baby".My thoughts were on Jingshu for a while, and then returned to Xiaoxin.I thought of Jingshu, and I fell in love deeply, tears streaming down my face.Looking at Xiaoxin who is pure and affectionate, I seem to see my own shadow again, and I feel very distressed.

She rushed over, hugged me and started kissing me.

I simply cannot deny her enthusiasm, her innocence.I hugged her tighter and kissed her back more intensely, her body limp in my arms.

When I wanted to go further, images of Jing Shu, Senior Sister Tang, and an anonymous girl began to appear in my mind.For some reason, I stopped.

Xiaoxin is my only remaining hope and sustenance in this world, and I can't bear to smash this hope with such a complicated state of mind.

"Brother, can you really not forget Jingshu?"

I gave her an affirmative look.

"Then why don't you go to her?"

"She won't come back." I raised my head and looked around blankly.

"Brother, love can move the heavens and the earth and change everything. Would you like to try harder?"

"Brother, I've tried everything I can."

"Really, have you ever written a love letter?"

"Ah."

"travel together?"

"Yeah." I didn't have the strength to answer the question in the affirmative.

"Isn't eating and watching movies more commonplace? Then what else can I do? Brother, can I ask a more personal question?"

"Have you fucked yet?"

"Go! Go! Go."

"Surely did, right?"

"I'm not sure."

"Not sure? Oh, that's done."

"Can you stop asking such boring and childish questions?" I was suddenly very angry and shouted at Xiaoxin.

"Senior brother, I was wrong." Xiaoxin probably didn't expect that I would really get angry, and his eyes were full of tears. "

"It's okay, I was too excited, I calmed down." I hugged Xiaoxin again.

"Whether Jingshu and I are together or not, my love for her will always be sincere. Love doesn't have to be together. Sometimes, love also has to let go. As long as the other party thinks her choice is correct, as long as She has found the true happiness, as long as she is truly happy. Love is not about taking, but fulfilling.”

"Brother, what you said is wrong."

"Then what else can I do?"

"How do you know that her choice is right, how do you know that you are right to let go, maybe she just needs you to save, maybe she is just testing you?"

"You do not understand."

"I don't understand, but I know that if I love someone, I have to fight for it. I won't be like senior brother who gives up on himself every day and lives a decadent life."

"Do you think I haven't fought for it? What do you know? Brother already wants to burn his life to her, so what?"

Xiaoxin hugged me, cried and said, "Let me love senior brother, okay? I can give you what she can't give."

"Don't do this, it's useless, you're annoying, you know?".

"Brother, do I really hate it?"

"Yes, silly girl, you are annoying."

Xiaoxin got up suddenly, arranged her clothes, opened the door with her schoolbag on her back, and left.I didn't take it seriously at all, I thought she would hide outside the door.I shouted: "Come in, don't hide outside."

But after a while, she didn't come in.I opened the door and went out to visit, but she was long gone.I was suddenly a little anxious, and rushed outside immediately, and when I reached the intersection, I didn't see Xiaoxin's figure.

I was very sad, but I didn't call Xiaoxin either.