little city

In the early morning of the next day, the sun came out from the top of the mountain in the east, illuminating every inch of land on the plateau.Sometimes wild grasslands appear on the side of the road, with flowers on the road, sometimes winding mountains and serpentine mountains, sometimes passing a pure Pinghu Lake, and the snow-capped mountains in the distance go straight into the sky.

When I arrived in the small town of Dachuanxi, I took a taxi and searched for it according to the address on Jingshu's envelope.

The small town presents a completely different style from the cities in the interior, but wherever characters can be seen, both Chinese and Tibetan characters appear at the same time.There are restaurants and teahouses on both sides of the street, and there is a constant flow of people. The pedestrians have dark skin, and most of them are wearing ethnic minority costumes.The trees on the side of the road are mostly yellow kudzu, oak and erythrina, which provide shade from the sun.

The taxi passed through the market and turned into a small alley. All the way uphill, the red bougainvillea strung out from the courtyard wall, bright and beautiful.The hibiscus leaves are huge, covering the entire alley from sunlight.

The car stopped at the gate of Minzu Middle School, which was also the address on Jingshu's envelope.I stood at the gate of this middle school and looked back at the road I just walked. This beautiful place brought me warmth and peace for a long time.

I timidly entered the school, only to see the guard looked at me twice with strange eyes, and did not stop me.It was the National Day holiday at this time, and there was no one in the school.Entering is a huge yard, spacious and open, with a two-story teaching building in front of you. There are also several large kudzu trees in the yard. The bark of the trees is densely engraved with the love declarations of previous students, which is really a standard middle school appearance.I stood under the flagpole, with the scorching sun above my head and a strange land under my feet. I stood here like a lost child.who I am?Where am I from?Why did I come to this place?Is this journey just to find someone, or to find yourself?I stood like this, my eyes were moist.

I don't want to talk, I don't want to move, I don't even want to think.I lay on the concrete steps, feeling the comfort of the sun, and fell asleep quietly.I dreamed of myself when I was a child, running on the hillside of my hometown, rhubarb and big white followed me closely, that was the happiest day I can remember, blue sky, white clouds, green grass, big mountains, pure and beautiful, but I can’t go back paradise.What's wrong with people?Why do you have to face such painful sufferings when you grow up, academic sufferings, emotional sufferings, lonely sufferings, everything is cruel tortures, and you can never find your original self again.

One year, just one year seems to have gone through thousands of years, every day, every hour, every second is occupied by a person, but I can't catch this person, just because I appeared so late After a few years, it will never be possible to become Jingshu's true love.Even though I tried my best, I still couldn't keep Jing Shu by my side, and still couldn't save my love.Every time I think that Jing Shu was only with me because of emotion, because I was like him, I feel like a knife is piercing my heart.Jingshu doesn't love me, what an unspeakable grief.

In my dream, I was already in tears.

I came here persistently. What kind of result do I want? Jingshu does not belong to me. This is an unchangeable fact.What kind of situation did I put Jingshu in for my sudden appearance?Have I thought about how she feels?From the beginning to the end, I simply thought that I loved her and was willing to pay for her, and that was enough.I ran amok like a bull, but never thought about it deeply from the perspective of the other party. Is this the result she wanted?I suddenly felt that my humble love was attached to my selfish body, making me even more humble.Jingshu is gone, I can't catch it anymore.

I stood up, patted the dust off my body, bid farewell to the doorman, and hurriedly bid farewell to this small courtyard, and I set off for Qinglong Temple.

I followed the route told by the doorman and got on the bus.The streets of the county town are narrow and crowded. Cars, electric vehicles, and pedestrians are all on the same road. The traffic lights are useless, chaotic but naturally orderly.When the car drove out of the county, a large lake appeared in front of us. The lake was wide and clear. On the opposite side of the lake was a row of steep mountains. The top of the mountain is covered with snow, and the reflection of the snow peak can be vaguely seen from the surface of the blue lake.On the side near the lake is a vast wetland with overgrown shrubs, ponds, green grass and rippling flowers.After walking for another half an hour, the car stopped halfway up the hillside, and there was a sound of Buddha's voice, and we arrived at Qinglong Temple.

I stopped and stood, and the beautiful scenery in front of me was like a landscape painting spread out. With a splash of ink, I had entered a fairyland on earth. I suddenly understood the reason why Jingshu stayed here.

There are not many people coming here, some people go up the mountain and some people go down the mountain.I hurried up the steps with my bag.The mountain is gentle and the vegetation is luxuriant. After turning a corner, Qinglong Temple is already in sight.Two tall and sturdy yellow kudzu trees in front of the gate show the long history of the temple.

I entered the monastery with a few pilgrims, and there were still some tourists and laymen inside, and I was not too conspicuous.The front hall is the Maitreya Hall. I quietly walked up the steps along the side porch and arrived at the atrium of the back hall. There are two cypress trees in front of me, tall and straight, and the Daxiong Hall stands majestically.

At this moment, I saw a mother and daughter coming out from the side of the Daxiong Hall. The girl was undoubtedly Jing Shu.I hurriedly dodged behind a nearby pillar, my heart pounding.Jing Shu was dressed in plain clothes with a calm face, and Jing Shu's mother also had a calm face. The two people were very similar.They walked side by side and walked down the steps slowly, probably going home.

I followed closely and walked to the gate. They walked slowly downhill in front of them, and the two of them did not talk to each other.I stood at the back, looking at the person I loved so much, walking in front of me, without the courage to shout or rush to embrace, watching Jingshu disappear around the corner like a stranger.I stretched out my hand, wanting to grab all of this, my heart felt like it was bleeding.

I rushed to the corner quickly, and saw that Jing Shu and her mother had already reached the bus stop sign.what do I do?I am in a dilemma.With passion in my heart, I have gone through untold hardships, from the south of the motherland to the southwest, to the place of Jingshu, but I have no courage to go further.

I stood at the back and watched Jing Shu get on a bus before driving down again.The bus drove away quickly, leaving me alone, standing at the intersection in the outskirts of a foreign land, like a lost cat.

My life has come to where it is today according to my own wishes, and I can no longer go on.My first love, my innocence and beauty, ended today.It's a result I never expected, but it's the result.

I lay on the stool at the waiting point, closed my eyes, felt uncomfortable in my chest, and curled up all over, with my arms entwined and hugged, as if I was hugging my Jingshu.Please, God, let me hold her a little longer and think about her a little longer.

I want to forget you, I lost you, Jing Shu, you know?

I took out my mobile phone and sent Jingshu a message: Jingshu, the light under the flagpole is like a bodhisattva appearing.I lie on a warm bed, just like lying in your arms, an intoxicating embrace.The hard chair next to the bus stop is my most real support at the moment.My body is floating lightly, not knowing where I am and where my heart is.You struggled desperately to break free, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't hold you anymore.How I want to hold you tight again, even for a second... how much I miss you.