I live longer than the incomparable

Eight hundred bhikkhuni said softly: "No one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes."

She lowered her white eyelids slightly, and memories of the past slowly flooded into her mind.

"A man I once knew said to me 'every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.'[1] Whether a man is good or bad cannot be judged by the number of mistakes he makes. "

Atsushi Nakajima clenched his fists, as if he had exhausted all his strength to be able to speak: "But this is different. The mistakes I made... are different from others."

Every word that the white-haired boy uttered was as heavy as ten thousand catties of rocks, and the rough gravel rubbed against his throat, making him make a strange tone of voice as if his vocal cords were damaged.

——In the heart of Atsushi Nakajima, there is a huge secret buried.

But just tonight, he said it in front of eight hundred bhikkhunis.

"I escaped from the orphanage six years ago because..." His voice was trembling, and his brain was trembling in pain.

Atsushi Nakajima's face was bloodless, he didn't have the courage to face the past at all.

But at this moment, a warm palm fell on the top of his head, and that hand stroked his white hair. The owner of the hand didn't make a sound, but Atsushi Nakajima got comfort from her.

He took a deep breath and said, "Because, I killed someone."

The white-haired and red-eyed researcher who came from nowhere was killed by Atsushi Nakajima in the orphanage that night.

He couldn't take responsibility and couldn't accept the fact that he killed others, so he escaped from the orphanage.

On countless icy nights, Atsushi Nakajima would reappear the scene at that time in his dream—the gloomy and cold basement, the electric current flowing through him being connected, and... when that person was killed, the expression on his face Unbelievable look.

Such a past has become a nightmare, and Atsushi Nakajima can't even tell whether he is living in reality or a dream.

"Because I killed a person, do I feel that I have lost the qualification to be a 'human' and can no longer enjoy everything that a human being should have?" Eight Hundred Bhikkhuni asked him.

Atsushi Nakajima raised his face, as if it was hard to believe that an existence like Eight Hundred Bikuni would say such words.

In Atsushi Nakajima's mind, she has always been a collection of "goodness" and "beauty" in this world, she has not touched any darkness, and will not tolerate any evil existence.

He was ready to leave here alone after the truth was revealed.

Atsushi Nakajima should have been like this. Everything he has now - a warm place to live, delicious food, and a stable life, seems to have been stolen as a liar and thief on the premise of deceiving her.

Eight hundred bhikkhunis were silent for a moment, then suddenly said to him, "Let me tell you a story."

The protagonist of the story is a child who has been frail and sick since he was a child. Although he was born in a wealthy family, the doctor asserted that he would never live to be 20 years old.

Since he was young, that child has been bedridden all year round. For ordinary people, this is really a very common thing, but for that child, it is something he will never be able to do.

So in the day after day, year after year of suffering from illness, the child became violent and sensitive, and even the people around him began to hate him.

He vented all his unwillingness and anger on the servants who took care of him, which indirectly caused that although everyone looked respectful in front of him, behind him, there was no one I sincerely hope that he can recover.

——Everyone is waiting for his death.

Except for his parents... and the doctor they brought in.

The doctor is a very kind person. Even though the child has been declared by countless doctors that there is no possibility of recovery, the doctor still works hard to treat him, hoping to see the day when he recovers.

But before that day came, the doctor was killed.

The murderer was the child he wanted to cure.

The reason is also very simple, because he felt that the doctor's medicine did not have any effect on him, so he felt that everything the doctor did was just deceiving himself.

When Nakajima Atsushi heard this, he couldn't understand why the eight hundred monks told himself such a story.

"Dun, if you were to make an evaluation, do you think that child is qualified to live?" Eight Hundred Bhikkuni asked him.

Nakajima was silent.

It's not that he doesn't know how to evaluate, it's just because Atsushi Nakajima doesn't have any qualifications to evaluate others' right or wrong.He always felt that way.

But the eight hundred monks can probably guess what Atsushi Nakajima is thinking at this time.

"If you evaluate it according to your thoughts, the result must be that he has no qualifications to live as any creature at all. Even being born in this world is the biggest mistake."

Not only did it not bring any help to others, but it hurt the people around it, and even killed the benefactor who wanted to save him.

Such an existence...

"But he survived," Eight Hundred Bhikkhuni said to him, "The doctor's medicine slowly showed its effect after his death. Those medicines gradually made the child healthy, but they stopped because of the doctor's death." The treatment caused some strange changes in the child's body."

"He became a monster who could no longer walk in the sun, was afraid of the smell of wisteria flowers, but longed for human flesh and blood."

Nakajima Atsushi opened his eyes wide, showing resistance and anger in those eyes.

Even if he didn't speak, his eyes were enough to show that he couldn't accept this kind of thing at this time.

"So in the following many, many years, the children who became monsters have been relying on human flesh and blood for food, and continue to share their own blood, turning ordinary humans into monsters like themselves '."

Atsushi Nakajima didn't want to hear any more.

"It's hard to accept, isn't it?" Eight Hundred Bhikkhuni asked him.

Nakajima Atsushi pursed the corners of his mouth, but did not make a sound.

Standing in the room separated by a wall from the balcony, Kimai Tsuji Mumi didn't make a sound after listening to the whole story.

"Dun, I don't want to tell you that being an evil ghost without guilt is easier than being a good person with a conscience." Eight Hundred Bikuni said softly: "I just want to tell you that good people and bad people , all have their own ways of living.”

"I know you have always been a good boy, that's why you feel pain because of this kind of thing, and I don't want you to easily forget about killing yourself like this."

"But before that, you have to know one thing clearly," Eight Hundred Bhikkhuni said word by word: "It's not about judging whether the person you killed is a good person or a bad person, but, for you Whether he is a benefactor or someone who hurt you."

Today's society has undergone tremendous changes in all aspects.

The value of human existence is guaranteed and the concept of existence is recognized.Everyone has the right to live in this world, and no one has the right to easily deprive others of their lives.

But what Atsushi Nakajima faced, even in terms of the current law, he did not do anything wrong.

When one's own life is threatened, it is a legitimate and reasonable self-defense to break free from the shackles and fight back against the opponent.

Atsushi Nakajima was silent for a long time, he just sat on the balcony like this, and the eight hundred monks sat in front of him, quietly accompanying him.

"Miss Eight Hundred..." After an unknown amount of time, Atsushi Nakajima said to her, "I... I'm sorry."

He still couldn't get out of that shadow, and couldn't free himself from it.

At the moment when he realized this, Atsushi Nakajima felt that he was very sorry for Bikuni Yabai. He knew that Miss Yabai had put so much effort into him and helped him so much, but he still couldn't change anything.

"Don't tell me you're sorry, Dun." Eight Hundred Bhikkhuni said, "As I said, the only person who can save you will always be yourself."

What anyone says can only serve as a guide, but if you really want to let go of the pain in your heart, you still have to rely on your own efforts.

"I have a friend who opened a detective agency nearby. If you want to change something, I can introduce you to a part-time job there."

Atsushi Nakajima stared at her blankly.

"Because you still have to go to university, right? Tong Mo has already told me that you and he were admitted to the same university, so you can only work part-time at this stage."

"It's not this..." Atsushi Nakajima lowered his head somewhat awkwardly, and then said: "Why did you introduce me to... a detective agency?"

"This..." Eight Hundred Bikuni showed a thoughtful expression: "Because of the feeling, you should like the atmosphere there."

"Listen, Don. If you must think that you are burdened with sin, then try to atone for it. No matter what it is, do what you think is a "good thing"."

Because ah...

"Even yourself, you shouldn't deny the fact that you're a good boy."

——*——

"What is this?"

After the conversation between Yabaichuni and Nakajima Atsushi, Yabaichuni who returned to the room saw Onimai Tsuji who was waiting for her.

Hearing such a question, she could understand that Guiwu Tsuji probably heard the conversation between her and Atsushi Nakajima.

"It's just a story." Eight Hundred Bhikkuni said calmly.

——But the problem is that this story is not a story that was fabricated out of thin air, but a real past.

She spread out all of Onimai Tsuji's past, and carefully counted all his mistakes.

——In the "story" she mentioned, as the protagonist, he couldn't find any qualities that could be called "beautiful" or even "correct".

He seemed to be a collection of all darkness and errors, something that should never have been born in the first place.

Oni Wu Tsuji's eyes were filled with thick red dark color, which slowly solidified like blood, becoming more and more dark and depressing.

"In your eyes, do I exist like this?" Ghost Mai Tsuji asked her.

It was in her conversation with Atsushi Nakajima that she was treated as a negative example, without any merit.

"Yeah," Eight Hundred Bhikkhuni sighed softly, "You are such an existence."

Her eyelids were half down, and there was a wordless sadness flowing slowly in the room. When it wrapped around them, it seemed to turn into a viscous liquid like jelly, which made people feel oppressed like it was hard to breathe.

For ordinary people...even for those who have committed the most heinous crimes, there is actually a chance to repent and start a new life, but such a chance probably does not exist in Onimai Tsuji.

Because he was wrong from the beginning, and has been going further and further down this ridiculously wrong path.

Even if he no longer creates new evil spirits like before, nor does he act recklessly like before, but seems to really want to blend into the human world and spend ordinary, human life with Eight Hundred Bhikkuni Life.

But that kind of "redemption" method is not enough to offset the mistakes he once made.

"Someone must have said it before?" Eight Hundred Bhikkhuni suddenly asked him, "'You will definitely go to hell'."

Oni Wu Tsuji did not answer.

But as long as you think about it a little, you can know that there must be countless people who have said this kind of words.

"So what?" Ghost Dance Tsuji Wucan sneered, "I..."

Before he could finish speaking, the Eight Hundred Bhikkhuni's eyes were tightly locked on his face.She interrupted him and said to him, "You're going to hell."

The feeling of saying this kind of words from his mouth is completely different from the feeling of falling into the ears of Onimai Tsuji when it is said from the mouth of the eight hundred bhikkhunis.

He suddenly tightened his pupils, and subconsciously wanted to say something—not to refute, but to vent his anger.

But before he could speak, Eight Hundred Bhikkhuni said to him: "I will go down with you too."

The so-called "salvation" and "sin" have never been judged by others at will, just like the eight hundred bhikkhunis in the eyes of others-even if they really die one day, they will definitely go to the Land of Ultimate Bliss.

But for Bhikkhuni Yabai, the "sin" entangled in her body is enough to make her go to hell with Guiwu Tsuji.

Because a hundred years ago, she shared everything with the man in front of her—whether it was her life or his sins.