[The Return of the Great Sage] Has now joined Chaos Luxury Lunch

Chaos, some scholars who have read the Shan Hai Jing think that he has something to do with the divine bird Dijiang, that is to say, when he was a bird, he could sing and dance well, but when he became his own body, he began to devour the world and eat whatever he had. real.Books are written by humans, can humans see the true appearance of chaos?Most of the writing is imagination. One person said that Chaos and Dijiang are one, another said that Chaos is the central emperor, and another said that Chaos is wonton, which tastes delicious. The first two mocked the third person for being uneducated.

But the thinking is more reliable. For example, our Chaos King, who has just come out of Xishan for a few hundred years, also has two forms. His body is a big bug and ugly. After adult form, he has a feather fan, a silk scarf, and neat clothes. Just like the book said, he can sing and dance well, and he can also sing ditties.

As for being good at singing and dancing, most of them are learned from going to the world and people. Xiaoquer is also learned from watching operas, and makeup is also learned from them.Chaos didn't have the consciousness of being a monster at that time, so he went to see shadow puppetry in the human market, and saw Monkey King.

The Great Sage Equaling Heaven was very turbulent, and the waves reached the sky, making it impossible for the heavens to deal with him. In the end, he was crushed under Wuzhi Mountain by the Tathagata of the West to suffer.

From a political point of view, Heavenly Court is very stupid. Chaos ate a bun and thought: Heavenly Court could have flattered this monkey with high officials and generous salary. In the future, if something happens, the monkey will be willing to help them. I gave it to Tathagata, but it is difficult to get it back again.

But politics has nothing to do with monsters like him who can only be the king of the mountain. Neither the Tathagata of the West nor the Heavenly Court of the East want to care about Chaos, a monster that can only occupy a few mountains as territories. There are too many monsters in this world, just talk about it Any one that comes out can take over the mountain and become king, and Chaos is one of them.But that's okay, have fun.After he finished eating the last bun, the waiter noticed that his hand looked like a bird's claw, so the waiter shouted, "Catch the goblin!"

Only then did he fully feel, ah, I am a goblin.

No, a female elf is a goblin, and a male is called a monster.

who cares.

At that time, Chaos was just talking about occupying the mountain as the king. After confirming that he was indeed a monster, he began to recruit younger brothers. Because the mountain was next to the water, there were a lot of frog-like, strong bodies but short limbs. Monsters, these are real little monsters, the monsters are weak, don’t want to be the type of king of the mountain for the rest of your life, Chaos thinks that this kind of little brother who can’t shake his status is great, so he happily started to build houses and houses, gather the little ones The monsters are little ones.Gradually, little monsters gave birth to little monsters, and the territory of Chaos changed from three mountains to four mountains. The simple houses were renovated into high-end houses, which were also called palaces. After five years, Chaos is no longer the person that everyone is. The bun-eating monster who shouted and beat him, but began to think about the vicious monster who wanted to eat boys and girls.

Why eat virgin boys and girls?

This is all because virgins are necessary for the monsters written in the book to gain a foothold. Don’t you see that every monster in the book has to eat so many 49 virgins?Is there any face in eating one less?Can I still meet people?

Don't talk about the fact that Monkey King hasn't eaten it before, our style is different, Chaos thought, can a monster that eats peaches be the same as a monster that eats human flesh?

It is true that he has not eaten anyone until now, that is, he is blindly comparing himself.

There is a reason why Chaos has never eaten humans.There are many types of monsters. For example, beasts that eat meat and they become monsters must eat people. However, if animals that like vegetarians become monsters, they will still be vegetarians. As for Chaos, his real body It's a... bug.

Yes, as I said before, it was ugly and he didn't even want to look at it.

This kind of worm grows fast, mainly relying on drinking tree sap and eating leaves, so Chaos turned into a human form and is also a vegetarian.

One is that it doesn’t match the monsters in the book, and it feels very disgraceful; the other is that if this continues, the younger brothers will all run away. My king only eats leaves, and the younger brothers will lose face when they go out. Chaos has been eavesdropping for a few days. Hearing the male goblins in the audience say that the king is not majestic, he is a little bit stuck.

Although I also want to perform a transformation into a worm and smash a big stone in the chest, but it seems that it is more out of style, and it is really not easy for him to put on makeup once, and he really can't bear to change back to his original shape casually.

So with one order, go and catch 49 virgin boys and girls!

The younger brother at the bottom said, Boss, are you asymmetrical?Why don't we catch fifty?

Chaos thought for a while, but 49 still sounds good, and 25 seems particularly silly and motherly, so he changed the saying: "24 virgins, [-] virgins!"

The younger brothers shouted in unison, and all ran away. In the distance, Chaos heard the only female monster under him say to the male monster: "I told you earlier that the king loves meat! You don't believe it! You still say that we The king is not majestic, he has no eyesight to see!"

Chaos once again applauded his decision, alas, I really know how to figure out the hearts of my little brothers.When he was happy, he wanted to sing an opera, so he found a big mirror and babbled and sang. He pinched his orchid fingers, which looked better than human opera actors, but he didn't know that in the eyes of humans, his hands were not hands at all, but a pair of black hands. paw.

The little brothers went to Chang'an City not far away to catch boys and girls. Chaos was not too worried because he knew that his little brothers were still strong compared to humans, and the mountains around Chang'an were under his rule. Monsters and goblins can't reach here.What does it taste like to be a virgin?Chaos feels that his saliva is flooding. According to his understanding of human beings, adults are very rough, from the skin to the brain, and they know that it is not delicious, but children are different. Children are probably like tofu Delicious and juicy, oh, when it comes to tofu, I want tofu...

Before the younger brothers came back, Chaos had set up a cauldron and prepared tofu, frozen tofu, bamboo shoots, yuba, cabbage, shiitake mushrooms, fungus and big bones.The big bones are used to hang the soup, and the rest can be put into the pot after the boys and girls arrive. Probably it can be done tonight, Chaos thought about the taste of the boys and girls again, and nodded.

"—The boys and girls have joined the Chaos King's luxurious lunch!"

Picked up a pen and wrote such a sentence on his lunch list.

I went to sleep.

So I dreamed that I was eating tofu, frozen tofu, bamboo shoots, yuba, cabbage, mushrooms and fungus, and I didn't care about eating boys and girls.

The author has something to say: The return of the great sage is really good to see_(:з」∠)_

The chaotic human form with loose hair is really enchanting_(:зゝ∠)_Although his body is slightly ugly

But that's okay!We love someone!You don't have to fall in love with everything about him [Shut up!

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