Count and see that I have loved you for five years

The room is so busy, and he said he wants me to wash my hands and eat, so let’s hold on to eat

I saw a girl on the street this afternoon who was so delicious, my God...

Me and I ate chicken rolls there, and the girl ate whole chicken alone

By the time we left, she had already eaten three chickens...

Chicken Terminator...

strong...

☆, 13

(130 a)

I just got home, I'm going to find him later. Get things done for school, I haven't packed my luggage at all, I've been so busy these days

I was a little worried about my mother when I went to school. She was alone at home. Hey, I have been with her for the past few months. I am afraid that I will not be able to take care of her when I leave.

He called, I went to eat supper, I didn't eat much after his supper, I'm so hungry now

I'm full~ It's uncomfortable, it's quite cold outside, I'll go to bed after washing up, good night~

I am a singer tonight, have you watched

I just called my mother and she was watching it, but unfortunately there is no TV in the dormitory, and I can’t find the live broadcast on the computer

I have no choice but to play with my phone under the covers, and I have to avoid them, or they will sue Li Ziyi again, and I will be in a bad situation

(130 two)

When I came back today, the road was very cold. I really don’t know how to tell him if he has a cold tomorrow, but tonight is very lively. The street is full of couples. There are many junior high school students and high school students. Performing on the stage, and then he must go up, and then he started to dance, he had learned hip-hop for a long time before, and there was a movement to jump up, when he just jumped up, he suddenly remembered that his hat would fall off, because the hair was treated before They were all shaved, and before they grew out, he suddenly fell down straight, holding his hat with one hand, and his expression was very calm. Later, after the dance, I heard someone say that he jumped in the middle and suddenly fell down. It's amazing, he said that his body is straight and not bent at all, and that he must be a professional. Finally, someone asked him for an autograph, and he actually signed it. (Note: This paragraph is the happy time of the two of them after Ziyi got sick, and what happened between the two of them after Ziyi got sick will be detailed later)

(130 three)

(Note: The autumn period has been suspended for a period of time. During this period, two things happened. One is that Qiuqi and Ziyi had a quarrel because of a trivial matter. The whole story is as follows:)

When I came together this morning, I went to school to help him make breakfast, and I waited for him for a long time before coming.When I came here, I just kept my head down and played with my phone, and I called him to eat noodles.Fearing that it would be cold, he only took a few bites before continuing to play with his mobile phone.He has been like this these days, he only knows how to play with his mobile phone.I was a little angry at the time, so I said to him, "Just live with your mobile phone, you only know how to play with your mobile phone every day." He just looked at me lazily and replied, "Your temper is getting worse and worse."Hehe, I have a bad temper?Then why do I have a bad temper, do you know?If you don't eat a mouthful of breakfast for you, you still blame me in the end?

I didn't say anything at the time, just sat back and ignored him.He has a class this morning.I sent him off, and when he got there, he knew how to look down at his phone. I snatched it away and saw that he was flying with a woman.I happen to know that woman too, she was the one who chased him when we first entered the freshman year, but after chasing her for a long time, he rejected her and there was no more.What does he mean by chatting with her now?I said at the time, "Are you like this? If you like it, stay with her, why bother me. If you don't like it, just tell me, it's a big deal to break up. I will never cry and beg you to stay." After I finished speaking, I went back to the dormitory up.I thought about it for a long time at noon and felt that I had spoken too much.After all, I didn't listen to his explanation, so I said something serious, and when I wanted to call him, he didn't answer my call.

(Note: After the autumn period, I have been thinking wildly, and I am still worried about breaking up.)

I felt uncomfortable, and hid in the bed thinking that I really should die.I've been with him for so long, and this is the first time he's been so indifferent to me. Whenever we had a quarrel before, he would definitely come to coax me.What now?Tired of me?Are you in love with that woman?so funny.

He didn't come to see me all morning, not even a text message.I don't know what's wrong, I feel very sad, but I really can't bear to let me break up. If he doesn't love me anymore, I won't keep him.I'll figure this out, we're really sad to be together for five years.

(Note: On the second day after the quarrel, Qiu Qi went to find Zi Yi to make things clear. Afterwards, there was a break for two days, and the two reconciled after returning. Qiu Qi also knew about Zi Yi and that girl.)

Ziyi came to her to discuss about being a tutor outside. He wanted to go out to do odd jobs to earn some money, and then he would go to Tibet with me during the winter vacation.

(130 four)

(Note: Qiuqi Hezi also planned a beautiful trip to Tibet. The second major event was that Qiuqi's father fell ill and was very serious. He passed away later)

I don't know why I dare not go in every time I wait outside the ward. I am really afraid of seeing my father.

During this period of time, my mother did not know how many times she cried, her eyes were swollen every day, and she lost a lot of weight

I feel sorry for them

I have been on the phone with Li Ziyi every day for the past few days, they are about to take the exam

I guess I can't go back to take the exam, I don't know what to do with the credits

He said he came to see me immediately after the exam, I just hope everything will be better

(Note: After the death of Qiu Qi's father, Qiu Qi has been sinking, and his family life has also been depressed)

Every time my mother eats, she will put a pair of chopsticks in my father's place to serve the meal.

I can't say it, it hurts when I think about it.

Every time I persuade her, she refuses to listen.

I really didn't know what to do, and my life was in chaos.

I am determined not to be like that anymore, bored at home every day doing nothing, thinking about nothing

He called me last night. In the past, he told me what happened to him one day. I listened.

He didn't talk last night and ended up scolding me on the phone

He said I'm a wimp

He said he'd look down on me if I never recovered like this

He said he was tired of my life

He said he was disappointed in me

He said not everyone will know that your loved ones are gone and no one will ever sympathize with you

He said I'm going to grow up eventually.

I thought about it all night, yeah

Who will always sympathize with me, who will always take care of me

I don't have a father, I have a mother

Who can I show to be so depressed every day?

One month is enough for me to sort out my mood

Ok

I still have a long way to go

I'm sure dad will watch us too

I still have to take care of my mother

I still need to take the postgraduate entrance examination

I also have plums

I have read a lot of things. I originally planned to take the postgraduate entrance examination, but these days I suddenly don’t know. I want to go out to work and earn money to support my mother. It is very hard for her to be a teacher.

(130 five)

I just don't know how to tell Li Ziyi

I was the one who asked him to go to graduate school with me.

After he promised to prepare for a semester, I suddenly didn't want to

I'm afraid my mother will know about us

I'm afraid she'll be disappointed in me and can't bear the blow

I know I can't be willful anymore,

I'm not living for myself

sometimes feel sad

I really want to open the window and jump down like this

I'm depressed, really depressed

I hang out with him and pretend to be happy every time

He also tried his best to make me happy

I just can't let it go, I don't know what it is

I'm gay and I don't have the guts to be with my parents and my loved ones

I don't have the courage to face criticism from others

I sometimes deliberately avoid this post

I used to record how happy I am

I don't want to come, just to see you like this

I call myself an asshole again and again

This post made me meet some very important people

important person in my heart

I have few friends

Every time I see what you say, it really warms my heart

The reason why I planned to take the postgraduate entrance examination with him before was to procrastinate for a day.

I don't want to face the reality and my parents, and now I really dare not feel sorry for my mother anymore

i'm really scared

(130 six)

(Note: After the start of school, Qiuqiu gradually came out of the shadow of his father's death. Qiuqiu received a tutor. The child's mother and son also knew each other. Qiuqiu's posts received more and more attention. At this time, Qiuqiu began to worry)

I have no intention of seeing what hits you are talking about. To be honest, I would rather only have you here than my post to be a boutique

The original intention of my post is just to record my happiness, those hard-won presents.

I just like to be plain, and I don’t want to put my home on a high platform for you to treat as objects of appreciation

I’ve been really busy recently, and I’m hiding in bed talking to you now, he doesn’t allow me to play and only expects me to rest

If I want to pay enough money to go to Tibet with him this summer vacation, I will bring you photos. If I can’t go, I will go back to work

Everyone has their own life, and I hope you are happy, so you don’t need to pay more attention to me

thank you all.

(Note: I also hope that this passage in Qiuqi will not be disturbed. He and Ziyi are still looking forward to the trip to Tibet. Later, Qiuqi left the post bar for about a month, and then came back, saying that he had lost the password. Later, he The child I tutored is about to take the college entrance examination. His dissertation has written more than 1 words. Life seems to be peaceful, but suffering always comes suddenly)

(130 seven)

now home

Did you go home from school?

he seems to have something

A few days ago, I was supposed to go home together.

Then his mom called and said he was going to her place

I don't know if it's a big deal

very worried

(Note: After Qiuqiu posted a post saying Ziyi started ignoring him. Qiuqi also kept contacting him, but Ziyi just didn’t respond)

I think he's hiding something from me this time

Am I thinking too much

he never used to be like this

He hastily hung up the phone calls, and I haven't finished my sentence yet.

I can't control my crazy thoughts

more and more afraid

The fear is indescribable

no matter what

are thinking about this

hope i think too much

he seems to resist me

I feel so powerless

I can only comfort myself like this

I shouldn't have brought these bad feelings to you.

Just be happy

But this feeling of powerlessness got me nowhere

just called him

What you say about cheating really scares me

I thought so too

dare not think deeply

I shouldn't be so suspicious of him

i want to trust him

As soon as I answered the phone, I didn't have time to say anything.

He just said he was busy

hang up the phone immediately

my mind is messed up now

let me think about it first

I can't tell now

i don't know what's wrong

He just sent a text message saying that he has something to do and it's not convenient to answer the phone

ask me not to think too much

But he treats me like this so I don't think much about it

i'm helpless

can he understand

Can't you not treat me like this?

no matter what happens

Tell me, let's solve it together

I don't think it's been the same since his mom called him back

He says he has something to do every day

Many times he called and refused to answer.

He just hung up on me again

I'm afraid he's annoying me

I don't fight anymore

i swear i won't bother him

I'm so inexplicably hated by him

I've been thinking about these things in a trance all afternoon.

I'm really desperate now

nothing to say

(130 eight)

I'm sorry to tell you this, I'm afraid you will worry again

i want to go to sleep

I still can't figure this thing out

I even recalled everything that happened with him recently

want to explore,

Did I do something to upset him?

but found no clue

Forget it, don't care

I don't have any troubles when I fall asleep

afraid to face

I'm sorry, for you, every time I tell you bad things

let you worry with me

But I really don't know who to talk to, I have very few friends, and there is nothing to tell the truth

It's a good thing none of you bothered me, otherwise I might really collapse by myself

This time we didn't quarrel but it was more terrible than quarreling

I don't know why, and he won't tell me

I have a bad feeling

(130 nine)

(Note: This is a week after the incident)

I've been so busy the past few days that I can't breathe

Only now is the night free

The days I was at school he came to me and explained

It's just that at that time I didn't want to hear or know

He comes to me when he is happy, and throws me aside when he is unhappy

has he considered my feelings

Do you know that I was worried about him and almost went crazy in such a hurry?

then what am i

I really don't know how to face him now

Should I scold him, or worry about asking him what happened?

what should i say to him

These days he is waiting for me under the dormitory every day

I saw it and just walked past

Neither leave him nor walk with him

I deleted his message without reading it.

This is the first time I have exaggerated like this

I've been brooding for so long

But you also saw my reaction at that time

I'm really sorry

I remember the first thing he said to me this morning was "you're unreasonable"

Hehe, does my worry make him feel unreasonable?

It's unreasonable, it's unreasonable

I am enough

I can't say anything if he really intends to separate from me.

It's not a five-year relationship, I'm not serious

I'm serious, but he thinks my seriousness is unreasonable

It's him who is not serious

☆, 14

(one hundred and fourteen)

(There was a quarrel here, but Qiu Qi did not explain the specific reason. However, it seems to be this quarrel. That night, Zi also went to the bar to drink away his worries, and then got sick in the bar, but Qiu Qi didn't know it at this time. After that, Qiu Qi left the post, which is also the longest time. When Qiu Qi came back again, Zi Yi was already sick. This is basically the original post, and there are some words Zi Yi said in it,)

I can't see this post for a long time

I said to write down our love

I'm afraid I won't remember it later

Actually I love him so much

Lest we spend too little time together

How dare I forget those little things

But fate is really playing a joke on me

I sometimes want to die

life is really tiring

I don't know what my future holds

I used to feel with him

Even if parents disagree

I'll be with him too

now everything is empty talk

nothing will come true

My wish is to be with the one I love

But it is doomed that I will not have him in the future

Is it because I violated the laws of heaven?

Is it because my love affects others?

God really loves to joke with me

I thought wait another year

we graduate

we will really be together

no more sneaking around

we will tell parents

We will seek their consent

Then it's not in the eyes of relatives

Let's face the storm of the future together

be together

Is this a luxury?Am I too greedy?

Can you stop being so cruel to me?

(140 a)

Li Ziyi

it's great now

You leave all the pressure on me

you used to always take care of me

put up with my temper

Now everything is reversed

I take care of you who are getting worse day by day

Seeing that your bedside is full of medicines prescribed by the doctor

I see you taking medicine by the handful every day

Every time you take your medicine I go back to the balcony

I look at the tree, I look at the sky

I just don't want to see you frowning and taking medicine

My heart really died long ago

I worry about losing you day and night

You know I wake up in a trance every morning

I ran to your room before I could put on my slippers

I opened the door slightly

I see where you fall asleep and breathe

my heart can be calm

Then a person sits on the sofa, blankly, thinking of nothing

The doctor said that your XX (medical index) has dropped by more than 100, you obviously have taken your medicine on time

Why can't you get better with so many bottles and cans?

Do you know how much my heart aches?

but i can't cry

I have to stay with you

Who will take care of you without me

The doctor said that if you take good care of you, you can live a long time

maybe we have a future

I dare not expect that we will live together until we grow old

As long as I'm with you until I'm 50 or [-], I'll be fine.

My father and mother's major events have been arranged

After that I don't care anymore

I'll just be with you, okay?

God wants me to meet you, God wants us to be together, but God wants us to separate early

I really want to curse fate, but thank fate for allowing me to meet you

(140 two)

Thank you for accompanying me until now, you have given me so much warmth

But I really can't write this post anymore, forget about it

Maybe I'll come tomorrow, maybe the day after tomorrow, maybe never in my life

Thank you very much, maybe my words are too messy

But please do know that I'm lucky enough to know you

i'm still with him

That's the best ending I can think of about us

If my story is just a story to you

Well the story ends well

Unfortunately, the facts are slightly different

But at least for now we're still in love

That's enough, right?

Actually speaking, I feel that I am so great

But when I opened my eyes that day, if you weren't there

i might go crazy

Maybe I can't help but go with you

I'm just worried about mom, what should she do?

should i be selfish

God gave me another multiple choice question

I'm not afraid of death, I'm not afraid of living

But I am deeply afraid that there is no you in my world

According to your report, your XX is accurate

The doctor said that this is just a normal fluctuation, and I am afraid that it will fall again one day

Your cold took a month to heal, the doctor said you should pay extra attention in winter

Is the weather the sun is very warm these days

(140 three)

Sometimes I think our story is so legendary

Maybe it will be written into a script or made into a TV series

I just don't know if the tragic ending will be a pity

Now that your mother promised us to be together, what's the use

I'd rather be disgusted and spurned by your mother as long as you're healthy

If possible, I would give you up, really, as long as you are good

I want to take care of you after school, but I don't know how to tell my mother

Today I said I was going to suspend school and you lost your temper at me

You look so fierce when you are angry, and your temper has changed a lot

You seldom have tender moments, you seldom smile

I wish I could be the reason for your happiness, I just want you to go back to the old days

I would like to be my disease,

You don't want me to hug you now, you say you are dirty, you are afraid of infecting me

But sometimes I persist for a long time and feel tired

How could I dislike you, my heart is really hurting, but I dare not show it in front of you, for fear of affecting your emotions

I love you how deeply you don't know

Even if you transfer your pain to me now, I think I'm always smiling

Lying in bed every day, I really want to sleep like this, I have thought about suicide many times

But I am afraid that no one will take care of you, who will cook porridge for you, who will accompany you to the hospital, who will be afraid that you will catch a cold

(140 four)

I was just sitting downstairs in the community, so sunny

Seeing you staring in a daze, I can see that your mood has improved

Suddenly want to marry you, tell you, you must call me naive

can only write here

I really really want to marry you no matter how long you live

I wish I was with you,

Just because you are Li Ziyi, and I am Peng Qiuqi who loves you

I hope to get a certificate one day

Turn it over is our photo

At that time, who will be called husband and who will be called wife?Or do you call me Husband?

Just now he read the report again, looking silly, now the ratio of XX to YY has reached 0.79, he is very happy to see him, no matter how tired he is, it is worth it

If I can reach 0.9 next month, I guess I can wake up from my dreams with a smile

Finally got out of the shower and went to bed, feeling tired

There is still a big class tomorrow, I will go to you after the class

I don't know if you are asleep now, I seem to call you

Afraid to disturb you, I'm tired and go to bed good night, Ziyi

Good night Ziyi, I want to show you this post, do you feel very warm

There are a lot of people here, you can watch it when you are alone at home

But there are places where you can't be mad at me

The only time you can find time every day is now, you know

I saw the person in your former dormitory in the study room at noon today

They asked me why you dropped out of school

I said you went abroad

They all say your life is so envious of you

I almost cried when I heard that, I bit my tongue to restrain my emotional breakdown

Fortunately, I just frowned slightly, I know you love face

You sure don't want people to know you have this disease

So I'm not lying, am I?

Your mother called me today to ask about your condition, I said you are fine, I said I will take care of you

Then your mom cried on the phone and he said if you're stable

Wait a few more years for us to get married and really register

After hanging up the phone, I hugged myself and cried, I was happy, really

So, Li Ziyi, you promise me that you must live to be 22 years old, and then we will get married

(140 five)

I can visit you tomorrow when I have a vacation. What do you eat every day these days?

Is it takeaway again?

If I see a plastic lunch box when I get home, I will scold you

I told you to cook a long time ago, I can't be by your side all my life

Why are you being willful like a child

Someone in the post said they wanted to see photos of our trip to Tibet

Li Ziyi, I have forgotten so many things, you said you took me to Tibet, but I still didn’t go

You still owe me so much, how can you pay it off?

I don't want to go to graduate school, people in the dormitory say I'm sick

Said that I have been preparing for a year, and said that if I don’t take the exam, I won’t take the exam.

But I want to go to work early

I don't need you to support me, I will support you

Just treat me like a fool for the rest of my life, I won't find you troublesome and annoying

There is no one around me who can listen to my heart, I am afraid that I will collapse again

I have kept your buddies well. Don’t worry, they all said that they will kill you when you come back from abroad.

Watching them laugh, I just feel sad and can't explain why

I'm getting more and more nagging, not feeling good enough about everything

I am also very tired, really tired

I dare not tell you, I am afraid you will be sad

I found that I have lived so far and achieved nothing, and in the end I couldn't even grasp the person I love

First my dad, now you are like this

I'm really scared, how will I live without you that day, it's too lonely to be alone

(140 six)

People live to be happy, if so, I have never lived

Maybe you died after knowing you were sick

In fact, I know how this disease is acquired, and I know you care about it too.

I never dare to ask, I just feel somber and suffocating at the thought of you being infected

I know you're drunk I don't care, I really don't mind

I also thought that if I got infected too, it would be nice to get sick and die together with you.

But I'm afraid that I won't be able to survive and no one will take care of you. You say you won't touch me until we get married

But you touched someone else, I really feel sad when I think about it

I really want to kill him. He is obviously sick and deliberately drugged you to infect you, but what's the use?

(Note: Zi Yi got aizi, who was drugged in a bar)

You say you are dying, but you don't want to go too alone

You won't get better, I'm too worried

How do I feel that you are leaving me a little bit

His XX dropped to 100, and the doctor told me the day before yesterday that he might not be able to stand it anytime

I told him about the post today, and he read it all morning

He wants me to say thank you

Maybe this is my last post

I wish you happiness in the future

He's taking treatment seriously, he's shaved all his hair

People are almost too skinny, I can only smile at him

Maybe I won't cry tears anymore

I really want to see him with gray hair

I want to see his teeth fall out, I want to see his face wrinkled

I want him to be with me for a long time

he's telling me to let go

Tell me to forget he find a good girl and have a baby

I smiled and said yes, I will definitely forget you

But my heart is bleeding when I say this

Pain to the extreme, pain to despair

(140 seven)

(Note: Plums also appear here)

#! ! !I'm Li Ziyi, he fell asleep just now, so I brought his cell phone over.

This is the first time I'm talking to you guys, haha, I'm a little excited.

I actually want to talk a lot, but later the nurse will make a ward round and will ask me to take sleeping pills after finding that I haven't slept...

In fact, I am very happy to meet you, you have given us a lot of energy!The happiest thing for me every day is to wake up and see the sun, but unfortunately it's been cloudy lately...

Oh, by the way, please do me a favor, I may not survive this winter, in the future you should remember to talk to him more, he is just a kid, a big fart thinks about a lot of things every day, and in the end he wants to unhappy.

In fact, I owe him a lot, it's too late in this life, but I don't want to meet him in my next life.

Haha, I'm afraid he will nag me again.

A lifetime of words is really enough. If I can still accompany him, I will still keep the book about going to Tibet.We wrote a lot of things, and it was all my fault. I didn’t talk about it. I knew he wanted to go, but I might not be able to.Then there is a small wish, don't think I'm long-winded!If any of you are willing, you can accompany him to Tibet for me. I will pay for it, and I want you to accompany him. My wish was fulfilled at that time.

Well, I guess the nurse is coming, I'm really terrified!Good night everyone, I will find you when I have time in the future! ! !

(140 eight)

Thank you, he was transferred to the general ward yesterday and is in a stable condition

But I can't leave the hospital for the time being, and I still need to observe

Maybe you gave me strength, I thought I couldn't make it through this time

Well, don't say unhappy words

I was talking about how he is so obedient these days, taking medicine on time and not getting angry

It turned out that he stole my mobile phone, and I have already scolded him for staying up so late in the middle of the night

But seeing him happy makes me happy too, which is strange

The weather has been gloomy these past few days, but it is rare to see the sun today

Although the ward is air-conditioned, I still want to bask in the sun

feel so warm

Go back and ask the doctor if he can take him out this afternoon

Today's ward with two beds

Now I can watch him at night too

will urge him to sleep well

Maybe it's your blessing

After passing this hurdle, I began to look forward to the future

The doctor still won't let him go out today

But I bought dumplings

now he is eating

But it seems that I don't like it very much

It is estimated that the doctor is not letting him go out because he feels uncomfortable.

What a pity for such a sunny day

I hope there will be sunshine in the future

It's really convenient to change the ward

i can sleep next to

Talk to him at night until he falls asleep

now he is still watching tv

I'm going to push him to sleep later.

The doctor said that if the test results are good tomorrow

just let him out

so happy he can't sleep now

Now the pin on the top of the head can be removed

Maybe in a few weeks the hair will grow back

(140 nine)

Well, I'm going to call him to sleep. Good night, everyone.

(Note: It is after midnight at this time)

Thank you for your blessing

many people wish us happiness

Actually I am very happy now

I fell asleep face to face with him

went to bed early today

Because I took him out this afternoon

he played like crazy

seems too tired

I hold my breath now and I can hear him sleeping

watching his body rise and fall

That's proof of being alive

that is my happiness

really, very happy

If there is still good weather tomorrow

I look forward to sitting on the bench next to the hospital holding hands with him

But his shoulder blades are well defined

He always smiled and said that now we are two skeletons together, and it would be nice if we can get fatter during the Chinese New Year

The nurse brought some apples this morning

I was surprised

It turns out that the hospital is still so humane.

But it was given to him by the trainee nurse.

always feel wrong

But he is in a very good mood today

Because the doctor promised to let him hang up the medicine this afternoon

let him go for a walk at night

You see, our happiness is as simple as that

There is an event on the pedestrian street tonight

he wants to go

I'm afraid he'll catch a cold

I really don't know how to say

Ask him not to be afraid of dampening his interest

tidy him up and go to bed

It was cold on the way back today

If he catches a cold tomorrow, I won't be able to explain clearly.

But tonight is really lively

(Note: This is the last clip of the few clips of their happiness during college...

☆, 15

(one hundred and fifty)

Sorry for the sudden lack of news these days

school exam

I studied for a few days

I don't know if I will fail

so tired

physical exhaustion

good morning everyone

Tomorrow I have to take a modern history exam

thank you all

I have been back with him for a few days

recently, I am busy

I can't be with him this year

going to dad's place

This winter is very warm

It hasn't snowed yet

(Note: It has been broken for another half a month)

(150 a)

Recently when I got home, I suddenly had a lot of things

I just went to my old high school to give a speech the other day

I tell them about my university

look at them

remembering his past

The spirit gradually becomes very trance

what the people around me said

didn't listen too carefully

I remember my third year in high school

A senior came to our school and told us about this university

he said it proudly

I wanted to come here

I thought I'd be completely disconnected from my past life

I never thought he was with me

really life is like this

If I won't transfer in my third year of high school

I may be on the other side of China now

maybe he's still healthy

Maybe he already has a girlfriend

If I knew there would be today

I would rather he be healthy

I wish he never knew me

I'd rather I suffer alone without him

don't involve him

(150 two)

His health is very good recently

But I worry for no reason

My character is also really owed

I'm really afraid he thinks a month ago

Suddenly fell ill and went to the hospital for emergency treatment

I don't know how many times I'll have to go through this scene

I don't know if he can make it every time

if one time can not

my life is falling apart

Forget it, don't say these bad things

I went to sing with him yesterday

He is alive and kicking again

Maybe it's the New Year's Eve, too excited

But I really love how happy he is.

Seeing his smile will unconsciously follow suit

he is not here this year

over there with his mother

I hope you don't catch a cold over there

When he gets his temper, he will mess around

completely out of tune

I heard it will snow there

it's over when it snows

he must have a cold

I really don't want him to go

He feels more at ease with me

But his mother insisted

It seems that he is afraid that he will not survive next year

Must take him back to meet relatives

i really don't know what to say

(150 three)

I went to my old school with him the other day

It's just where is the first year of high school and the second year of high school

Transferred in high school

really big changes

It was clean then

Now the plastic track is very old

At that time, I liked to sit on the artificial lawn in the middle of the plastic runway and bask in the sun

It's really warm when the sun is warm

It was only a few days ago that I learned that the chemistry teacher who called me at that time died of lung cancer.

He is really nice and nice, his hair is all white, but he is young at heart and likes to joke with us

When I was a sophomore in high school, I was poor in chemistry, so he called me to the office

I thought I would scold me, but in the end I just asked me what I didn't understand, and told me the key points, and explained it to me in detail

I feel moved when I think about it now. A thin and tall old man always tells us not to lose ourselves when we enter the society, to be an upright person, and not to forget our original intention

(Note: The one who died of lung cancer was a chemistry teacher in the autumn period. Many people on the Internet mistakenly believed that Zi also died of lung cancer, so I would like to clarify)

I remember that the third year of high school was the most depressing

always want to stay away from him far away from home

Now that I think about it, I feel how rare it is and I won’t return

I really want to go to high school for a few more years

time really flies

A year and a half in the blink of an eye

Maybe when I open my eyes again and the white clouds grow old, I will become a bad old man

Then I turned around and found that he was also a nagging old man

gray hair

faltering

I don’t know if you have heard of Liang Hanwen’s Qiyou

he used to sing to me

I have liked it for a long time now

His waist was not very standard when he sang this song

because it's cantonese

But at the time, I was so moved

Tears are rolling in the eye sockets

(Note: I have been repeating this song recently, accompanied by the phrase "A child in autumn can't wait" in my mind, it is really touching, and tears filled my eyelashes many times)

(150 four)

go home this time

Mom introduced me to many people

ask me to choose a girlfriend

I think she might know something

After all, you can never hide

Right

I have never been close to a girl since I was a child.

Anyone will think too much

Besides, my personality has always been very introverted.

I guess my mother noticed a little bit.

She was originally a Chinese teacher, and she has a delicate mind.

I don't know how she'll feel after affirmation, I'm really worried

But I won't give up Ziyi

Now there is an illusion that his flesh and blood are inseparable

My mother has lost my father to accompany her

She must hope to have a grandson to accompany her well

But I really don't have the ability to get married

I'm ruining that person's life by marrying me.

I can't take responsibility

i just want son

But sooner or later you have to confess

(150 five)

I haven't been here for a long time (note: about half a month)

maybe missed a lot of things

I know everyone cares about his situation

don't know how to express

I hope he gets better, this is a bit pale

I'm about to start school too

he has dropped out

now his mother is taking care of him

he is very ill now

But he still doesn't want to be hospitalized

I go to see him every afternoon

His mother always opens the door crying

I quarreled with him, I scolded him why he gave up on himself like this

He just said that hard work is useless, he will still die

I don't know how to refute him

I persuaded him for a month, and he became more and more negative

He once said he felt like he had no future and I'm speechless

I dare not ask him to live for me

I'm afraid I'll burden him

really uncomfortable

When I quarreled with him a few days ago

His appearance makes my heart ache

I do not know what I did wrong

God wants to embarrass me so much

I just fell in love with someone

Is it also a great sin?

Now he is so depressed

I really don't know how long I can stay with him

how long can he last

If he finds it a torment even to live, it's fine to give up

I just want him to be happy

(150 seven)

(Note: here Ziyi appeared again!)

#! ! !He asked me to read it, thank you very much.Maybe you think I'm a coward who doesn't dare to face the reality, but I only despair because I know the reality too well.I don't know if I can survive until the day when this disease can be cured. I also want him to accompany me. Who doesn't want the person they love to spend the last part of their life with them?But I can't, he will continue to live after I die.I know a saying, if you really love someone, let him go.He really gave up a lot for me. If he takes the postgraduate entrance examination, he can go directly to XX University (Note: XX University here is very famous), but I got this damn disease, and he didn’t take the exam to take care of me. I’m not a robot. I know what moving is.I really love him, I hope that after I die, there will be someone who will treat him well, and I also hope he is happy.To be honest, my current appearance is really scary, and I almost dare not go out. Maybe the remaining days are not long.If he leaves me, I have nothing to regret