Count and see that I have loved you for five years

The teacher in charge asked us to introduce ourselves

i remember i was the 13th

I can't say anything when I go up

I've always hated being watched by a lot of people

So I spent a long time on the top and couldn't say a word.

I don't know who said "he blushed"

Then the whole class burst into laughter

I hurried off the podium

"You're so funny, why are you blushing, are you still nervous about this kind of thing?"

He asked me, I can't answer anything

Then he went to introduce

"My name is Li Ziyi. I am taller and more handsome. I also have a good personality and a good character. In short, I am a very good person, um, very good."

Then I laughed when I listened

There's a narcissistic feeling in his bones

but he is tall and handsome

Do not deny

(26)

I look at the blackboard and take notes during class

He is sleeping

After class, he immediately woke up and went out to fight with others

I turned to look at him during class

He just pounced quietly

chest ups and downs

At that time, I really wanted to kiss

but this is class

i'm not stupid

(27)

September 9th, I remember it very clearly.

He didn't go to morning self-study that day

I look at the empty seats

I feel bad

After self-study in the morning, I went to the woods behind the teaching building

want to go shopping

But I happened to see him there with a whole bunch of people

"I've been upset with you for a long time, fuck, I can't beat you today"

"Come here if you have the ability, I'll see if you dare to do it"

He stands in the middle surrounded by a menacing group

He raised his eyebrows, his mouth full of disdain

Then someone suddenly kicked him

then they fight

I don't know what I was thinking

I rushed over and kicked the guy who hit him

The force of the impact almost knocked me off my feet

Those people saw me and started running to beat me

Kicked in the back

It's like being kicked in the stomach

buzzing in the head

I even thought I was going to die there

suddenly a group of people came

fight with those who beat me

I was dragged out by him

"You are really sick, who told you to come here, you really don't need to be beaten"

"I..."

can i say i'm worried about you

I'm just afraid you'll get hurt

(28)

Then I remember you took me to the school infirmary

The doctors there were shocked when they saw me

Cleaning the wound, disinfecting, applying medicine and giving injections

You were with me the whole time

Later I lay on the bed in the infirmary

so tired

You solemnly said, "We will be brothers from now on, brother!"

I look at you and can't say anything

I seem to feel the blood in my throat

i just smile

smile and cry

"Damn, why are you crying? I know you're in pain, but men can't cry. It's embarrassing."

you look at me helplessly

It's not pain, it's joy

Later I found out that those people are looking for you because the leader likes your girlfriend

You hit him angrily

so he called a gang to beat you

You said I wouldn't have been beaten if I hadn't come over

you know your homies will come over

But who told me to be foolish and overestimate my abilities for fear of hurting you

(29)

we missed class all morning

You said you're fine on leave

I just lie on the bed at ease

After school at noon

You took me and said to find your brother

I have a Band-Aid on my face

it looks funny

I met a lot of people that day

They say I'll be their brother from now on

They admire my selflessness

I also know her

his girlfriend

Her name is Yu Qin

Such a good girl, no wonder he likes her

they ate and drank that day

I'm seen by them as the focus

They're pouring me down

I can't drink a glass

He laughed at me, I look like a girl, I look like a girl, and I have a similar personality

He said he'd be my brother and take care of me

My brother is also very good. No one said that my brother can’t like my brother.

☆, 3

(thirty)

i didn't want to go to school that afternoon

I said I was afraid that others would see me

He readily agreed to accompany me

He asked Yu Qin to go to school by himself

At that time, I was a little proud

He took me to the place where he lived that day

He told me his parents are out of town doing business

basically ignored him since childhood

Just give him regular money every month

His house is very big and has little furniture

it looks so deserted

"Here you are, these are my clothes, you go wash them, there is blood on your clothes"

I didn't pay attention at first, but when I looked down, there were some blood stains

I smiled at him and said yes

In the bathroom, hot water pouring off my head

i think about today

In just one day, he and I went from strangers to brothers

I'm still at his house

wear his clothes

progress seems too fast

(31)

When I put on his clothes I realized it was too big

I was only 170 at that time, he probably was 179

He was watching TV when he came out

Move your ass when you see me coming

Said to make room for me

At that time, I really hoped that my whole life would be like this

simple but happy

we sat and talked a lot

Finally, about Yu Qin

"Do you love her?"

"Of course, after all, she has chased me for so long, at least I can't let her down"

"Oh yeah, that would be nice"

I lower my head and play with the pillow

"Do you have someone you like?"

"Yes, but he doesn't know that I like him"

"If you like it, confess it, if you're afraid of a fart"

"He has someone he likes"

"Oh yeah, what a pity"

After he finished speaking, he patted my head

I can't avoid

just look at him

We were only a few centimeters apart

we startled

Then he laughed

"If you were a woman, I promise to rape you here"

I didn't speak after listening, my face was very red

"Haha, you're blushing again, let me take a look"

He keeps teasing and tickling me

Finally when he was on top of me I reacted

(32)

I jumped up from the sofa

then ran to the toilet

Then...

heart pounding worried what he found

When I came out of the toilet, he asked me why I went

Fortunately he didn't find out

Later, it was more than 5 o'clock

He just called for takeaway

I saw him pick up the phone fluently and call

"Do you always eat takeaway at home alone?"

"Yes what's the matter?"

“Unhealthy, dirty takeaway”

"Yo, you are still worried about me. It's okay, brother is in good health"

After he finished speaking, he glanced at me and purposely stood with me to show off his height

I really think he's an idiot

stupid

(33)

I called my mom that day

I'm afraid she'll be worried when she sees my wound

I said that my classmate spent the night at his house for his birthday

It seems that the head teacher didn't tell her about my absence from class

She knows I grew up with very few friends

So she happily agreed

And I want to treat my classmates well

I promise

What I was thinking about was spending the night with him today.

overnight...

overnight!

Then the takeaway arrived

Stir-fried meat with eggplant and chili, grilled fish balls with sizzling chicken wings, but no vegetables

"Without nutrition, you can't support meat, you need to eat some vegetables"

"Okay, okay, I really look like a woman, long-winded"

"..."

I swear I'll never say something like that again, thank you

After eating, he went to the study to play computer games, leaving a mess on the table

"Hey, don't you clean up?"

"A babysitter will come tomorrow"

"But tomorrow the food will be rotten"

"It's rotten and I won't eat it"

"..."

this guy is so lazy

I sighed as I cleared the table myself

When I got to the kitchen, I found that his house didn't even have a pair of chopsticks

It's really otherworldly

(34)

I watch TV alone

The program changes but I don’t have the heart to watch it

i always wonder what he is doing

what does he play on the computer

Then I went sneakily

walked behind him to see what he was doing

He stood up suddenly and cursed "I'm stupid"

i was startled

Suddenly fell to the ground with a bang

head firmly on the ground

"what......."

He was also taken aback. He didn't even know when I came over.

Then he lifted me up

I feel like my head is still buzzing

after that i go to bed

sleep in his bed

"I sleep here, what about you?"

"Stupid, I'm sleeping on the sofa"

"Is the sofa uncomfortable?"

“My sofa is comfortable”

"...Sleep here?"

"also"

"..."

So I ended up sleeping with him

he seems really tired

It won't move for a while

fell asleep peacefully

He's really quiet when he's asleep, so different from the daytime

I looked at him and suddenly wanted to kiss him

I just want to kiss

(35)

I lower my head slowly

His face gradually enlarged in my eyes

my lips against his

At that time, I suddenly didn't want to move away

i kiss him like that

I dare not move for fear of waking him up

I watched his eyelashes grow long over his eyes

Quietly

In the end my hands went numb

I fell down with a bang

fell on him

he woke me up

I kissed his eyes

"Ah, what the hell are you doing?"

"..."

Fortunately, I didn't turn on the light, my face was very red at this time

"I said, what are you doing pressing on me for no reason, you scared me?"

"I don't sleep well | restful"

"Oh, I still sleep on the sofa handle"

Then he took the blanket and went to the couch

I sit alone on the bed silently

Is it overdone?

This is my first kiss, to someone I like

But he doesn't know, he will think me disgusting if he knows

I'm so miserable

(36)

I thought about it for a long time that night

Then fell into a drowsy sleep

"Get up, hey, wake up"

I was just so wobbly pushed awake by him

"I'm late"

I suddenly opened my eyes and found him sitting on the bed with no clothes on

"Why don't you wear clothes?"

"The clothes were sweaty last night, I just took them off, and I didn't have time to change them"

"You're a hooligan"

"You are sick, this is my house, if you don't follow me"

"..."

I get silent

But I found that my back was also wet with sweat

It's sticky on the back and it's uncomfortable

"Where are my clothes?"

"bathroom"

"then what do I do?"

"Wear mine"

After I changed my clothes, I was really helpless when I came out.

his shirt is fine

The key is that the pants are too long

I looked at him innocently

He just came and dragged me to school

(37)

he pulled my hand

pull!

i look at him

suddenly laughed

He suddenly looked back at me

"Oh, I'm stupid, **** laugh at me"

i heard a kick

Too bad the pants are too long

I got tripped up ==

he held me

"Just stay at ease, there are a lot of wounds, how many more do you want?"

"..."

"Let's go, have breakfast, I won't go to self-study early"

"I'm afraid..."

"I wish I didn't know you"

"..."

Later, he was still biting his breakfast while dragging me to school

I'm still 10 minutes late for self-study

The language teacher is staring at us

I lowered my head and let him pull me

Suddenly feel that this is a little intimate

I was busy trying to break free but found that he was pulling very hard

(39)

After that day, I slowly began to integrate into his circle

met a lot of people

especially Rogo

thank him for being kind to me

Thank you for being with me when I was most frustrated

Luo Ge was a sophomore in high school

also our school

it's just that he doesn't read

He knows a lot of people from society

The first thing he said to me was "I admire your spirit of being useless and not afraid of death"

I was depressed for a long time

Luo Ge is a person who can say what is on his lips.

very straight and sincere

☆, 4

(forty)

I used to play around with him after that

Of course he will bring Yu Qin

he holds her

Me and Luo Ge followed behind them

At that time, I would chat with Luo Ge

keep yourself from paying attention to them

But, just don't live up to expectations

Curious about his every move

Brother Luo told me all kinds of nasty jokes by my side

He said being with me was like I was his little wife

i really...

(41)

I just read that fifth grade diary for a long time

Halfway through I had a few months torn...

That is, from September 2008, 9 to the end...

That tear was because of one thing

Ok

I don't know what I wrote then

only two

Then there's 2010...

(42)

I hang out with him basically every day

Almost everyone of them has an object

they always tease me

Explain that there are many girls chasing me why I don't agree to them

i know what they mean...

Because the ones chasing me are all big and three rough...

About a month or so

At first I just saw a love letter in the drawer every day

no name

I didn't take it seriously at first

Then one morning when I was going to school, a girl blocked my door

Well, how do you rate it?

very strong...

"I like you, come with me!"

"what?"

"Yes! I have liked you for a long time! I have followed you for a long time!"

"..."

"You can arouse my desire to protect you!"

"..."

I was in that embarrassment

I'm a boy, okay...

(43)

that saturday

we are on vacation

A group of people go to ktv crazy

I sang Xinzhe Chang's "Overfire"

I sang it to him

Word by word

I dare not look at him, because he hugs Yu Qin all the time

can't let go of others

Rogo keeps yelling

ask them to kiss

At this time, many people poured his wine

After I'm done, I turn my head and see them kissing

Suddenly, I feel so sad, I really want to cry

I think I don't like him anymore

I love him

So when he hugged that person and kissed that person, it hurt me

(44)

I'm afraid they will see me crying in the box

I opened the door and went out

Tears poured down as soon as I went out, and I couldn't stop

really hurt

it is too hard to love someone

Especially loving someone who won't love you

At that time I rushed out

bumped into a girl

she wears high heels

I hit her and fell

I pull her up

She draws a very thick shape

"You are sick, you don't look at the road when you walk"

"sorry"

my voice is shaking

"Are you crying?"

"..."

"Why are you crying?"

"I do not know you"

"Cut, if you don't say it, don't say it"

This is the scene where we first met

Her name is Deng Han

the most sorry person in my life

(45)

That day I blew cold wind for a long time at the door of the ktv

dry your eyes

I sorted out my mood for a long time

Yeah, I knew he had a girlfriend

It's also me who stubbornly likes him

In this case, why are you still crying?

It's not good for a boy to cry all the time

I smiled into the air with the corners of my mouth pulled, and after proving that my face can still move, I planned to go back to the box

When I turned around, I saw the girl I bumped into just now was looking at me

I avoided her gaze and turned to the box

"where have you been?"

"I just went out to catch my breath"

It wasn't him who came in and asked me where I was going, it was Brother Luo

Brother Luo watched me sit down and brought me a bottle of beer

I picked it up and drank it all

It's really bitter and not good at all

I don't know how other people drink away their worries

"If you can't drink, don't drink"

"Leave me alone!"

He tried to take my drink, I stubbornly argued with him

Who wants you to control me?

I walked for so long without asking me

Now who wants you to come here and ask me hypocritically? (46)

Then I just remember I was drunk

I don't know who took me back to the house

I vaguely remember who I vomited all over

When I woke up the next day, I was lying in bed

headache

I couldn't keep my eyes open

I just wiped it with my hands a few times.

When I recovered, I realized it was his home.

i want to get out of bed

found i was naked

No clothes!

"what!!!"

After a long time, he came

"what happened?"

"Where are my clothes?!"

"in the living room"

"Who undressed me?"

"I"

"Are you sick!!"

"How can you sleep without taking off your body when you vomit? If you don't think it's dirty, I still think you're dirty."

"..."

"Why did you take a shower yesterday? I was so exhausted. It was so heavy."

"Bath?!! Take a shower?!!"

"You are sick..."

I kept yelling all morning

He saw me all over...

read all

I was so dizzy that morning that I couldn't recover

(47)

Also called me to play ==

Anyway, no one here~~

Go and play, go and play~`

(48)

just had dinner with him

I ate a lot of mess

belly bloated

He even bought me a present today~~

(49)

Okay, let’s get down to business~~

----------------------

I was there alone that morning YY

Did you turn your head to look at him?

where he sleeps...

Suddenly I saw that earring

I suddenly want to get my ears pierced too

Wear the same earrings as him

I threw myself on the table and looked at him

"Li Ziyi, Li Ziyi!"

I hurriedly got up and kicked him

he slept like hell

did not wake up

i shake him

"Hey, I'm sick, I'm sick"

The sentence he got up made the whole class laugh after a second of silence

I was so embarrassed

Math teacher is pissed off up there

Well, after that, he and I went to the homeroom teacher's office

Then the teacher asked us to write a review

Then he asked me to write for him...

He is very black-bellied and bad-tempered!

☆, 5

(Fifty)

The next day I gave the review to the head teacher

The content of the two copies is basically the same

I can't hold it anymore

"Your handwriting is good"

"Thank you, teacher"

"Your copy is not as good as this one"

"..."

Facing the treacherous head teacher, I am really speechless

Then he asked me to write a 2000-word review to him

He said that if you like to write, write more

I still remember this incident

Treacherous, treacherous, so annoying

(51)

one night we got out of school

High school doesn't end until 10 o'clock

I go home alone

Because that time he also said that he would not accompany me if he had something to do with his family.

There were hardly many people in the school when I left

When I walked to the school gate, I saw a group of girls

habitual detour

"Hey, wait a minute"

I looked around and it seemed to be me

"Just you, how tall are you?"

"Grand One"

"what's your name?"

"..."

"phone number?"

"..."

I looked at that girl as if she looked familiar

After thinking for a long time, I suddenly remembered that she was the girl I saw in ktv that day

"My name is Deng Han, remember me?"

"Um..."

"I like you, how about being with me?"

"what?"

"Oh shit, I said I like you"

I turned around and went home and didn't want to talk to her

she suddenly pulled me

Although I'm a subject (...I'm subject...)

But at least the strength is still stronger than girls

I take my hand and get up and go

Then she followed me

I was scared when I got home

I hailed a taxi and circled around us a few times (it cost me 70 that time, heartache...)

I didn't tell you about it

(52)

I go to school the next day

When I first arrived in the classroom, many people booed

I don't know why

When I got to the last table, I saw a cake on my seat

one more note

It basically means that she likes me or something (can't remember...)

I was so helpless

I just think this girl is really moving

"Hey, Peng Qiuqiu, has a woman confessed to you?"

"...Um"

"I'm blind, a handsome man like me will chase after you"

"..."

"Is it Deng Han?"

"you recognize?"

"She is played well by Yu Qin. Yu Qin told me last night. I didn't expect you to be so disloyal. The girl confessed and didn't tell my brother."

"Um"

"Deng Han is a pretty good girl, but she's crazy, she's pretty, and she's a nice person. Promise her. She seems to like you for a long time. Yu Qin wants you to promise her."

Yuqin Yuqin is Yuqin again

Maybe Yu Qin is the whole of your life?

I suddenly felt irritable

Yes, yes, what's the big deal?

"Success, I promise"

"Really? I'll go to Yu Qin after class and ask her to tell Deng Han."

I ignored him in that class

very angry

but can't tell him

(53)

After that class, I saw Deng Han coming to look for me

when she didn't come

I just heard the noise coming from the hallway

I knew it was her...

"Ahhh!! Peng Qiuqi!! I'm here to find you!!"

I'm so helpless

"You really promised me, ahhh!!!"

"Um..."

"Hahaha!!"

she laughed wantonly there

I suddenly feel that liking Li Ziyi all the time is not a problem

It didn't work out

Maybe it's better to find someone to make yourself forget about him

I'm sorry, Deng Han, I've been sorry for you from the beginning

I thought so at that time

She suddenly came over and kissed me

After that, the classroom was frying pan and it was completely boiling.

After kissing her, she bounced back to her classroom

"Tsk tsk tsk, Qiuqiu, dare to show intimacy in the classroom. Really"

He pretended to be obscene and asked me

"I want you to take care"

"Didn't brother care about you, puberty has finally sprouted"

"..."

(54)

From then on, Deng Han would wait for me downstairs at my house every morning

Even at night, he stubbornly wants to take me home

I always thought it was the boys who sent the girls home.

She always said she was afraid that someone would kidnap me

Since then, Li Ziyi and I have spent less time together

Deng Han is with me at noon

Deng Han was with me at dinner

Evening self-study is over, Deng Han is with me

She came back even after class

I thought to myself, if I spend less time with him, I can forget that he

October 10 is his birthday

He turned 16 that day

I picked a gift for a long time

Finally chose a doll

I carefully cut out the doll's hands

On a heart-shaped card, wrote "Peng Qiuqi loves plums, and there is no end in sight"

Finally, the doll's hands were sewn on

I thought it was a confession

Anyway, he won't know and won't promise me

Then I will die more thoroughly

(55)

It happened to be Saturday and there was no school

we are still at that ktv

That day Yu Qin held his arm

Deng Han holds me

Luo Ge kept pouring his wine there

I suddenly feel like when did we become so rusty?

so far away

Deng Han was playing with others there

finally playing dice

Those who say they lose will be punished

Truth or Dare

I use my terrible character

lost in the first round

"Hey, what can I do?"

Brother Luo pondered there for a long time, and I was so uneasy at that time.

"So, how many times do you masturbate a week?"

I was really helpless when I heard that, I would not have played with them if I had known

"I don't answer"

"You really can't afford it"

"Well, just kiss Deng Han and forget it."

everyone else is yelling

i really don't want to kiss

We talked for almost a month and hardly even held hands

don't know who put our heads together

Later Deng Han hugged me

I just stayed there and let her stir her tongue in my mouth...

Then I turned around to kick my ass to see them kissing

I can't stand it

do not know why

I suddenly hugged Deng Han and kissed

deep and hard

(56)

Others started booing

especially Rogo

Afterwards, it became boring. The few of them drank and ate cakes there.

i have a girlfriend

he also has

In this way, you can forget the

I want to be a normal person again

If you're not gay, you don't understand what it's like to see someone you like kissing with a girl

If you're not gay, you won't understand getting up in the middle of the night while washing your underwear and laughing thinking about someone

If you're not gay, you won't understand that it's heartbreaking to love someone stubbornly even though you know it's fruitless

(57)

When I got home that night, I cried for a long time in front of the mirror

Obviously love him so bitterly

But I can't bear to forget him

I saw him smiling so sweetly at a girl but he couldn't say anything

It turns out that loving someone is so bitter, yet so willing

I want to bury this feeling deep in my heart

I want to find a girl who loves me in the future

Getting married and having kids is easy

I treat her well all my life

then we die

that's great

(58)

It's been more than a year

After that we were sophomore

still in the same class

We're getting a little rusty

Can't say a few words a day

Text messages are also good morning, good afternoon, good night

December 2010, 9

It's just 8 days since the second year of high school

he had a car accident

He'll never know what I was feeling when I got Rogo's call

I'm afraid I'll lose him forever

I'm afraid I'll never see him again

I cried and yelled and ran all the way to the hospital

I didn't care that there was still class in the afternoon.

Later, I met Roger

he is outside the ward

He saw me in tears

"Are you crying?"

"How is he?! Is it a big deal?"

"It's okay, it's just an ordinary bruise, just rest for a few days"

"Why didn't you tell me, I was worried to death, you know?!"

"You hung up the phone before I could tell, I know you're so worried"

I open the door of the ward

But saw Yu Qin kissing her

softly kissed his forehead

I slammed the door and ran out of the emergency room

Later, when I went to the roof of the hospital, I was crying on top of the wind blowing.

I'm so fucking sick

He doesn't love me and I'm still so worried

he has someone who loves him so much

I'm superfluous

Finally I fell to the ground holding myself twitching

Tears are so cheap after meeting him

i kept crying for him

he doesn't know anything

☆, 6

(sixty)

phone keeps ringing

I sort out my choking voice

"Hey"

"Why did you pick it up? What did you do just now? Why did you run away suddenly?"

"No, I still have class in the afternoon. I saw that he was fine and left first."

"Oh, you thought you had something to do when you left in such a hurry, but you really scared me today, crying like a widow"

"..."

"Okay, it's okay, I'll hang up first"

"Well, bye, Roger"

"Goodbye"

I got up and patted the dirt

Look at your watch at 12:40

I called Deng Han, I want to pick her up from school

But she insisted that I wait downstairs at my house

I wholeheartedly agree

Finally I come home and she's already there waiting

do not know when

She started to put away her carefree look

sometimes wear skirts

A year later, her ear-level short hair reached her shoulders

she was wearing a green dress that day

looks clean in summer

Yeah, don't I just want this kind of love?

she saw me coming

didn't ask anything

Just take my hand and smile at me

Let's go to the milk tea shop together

she likes toffee milk tea

i like to drink lemonade

we didn't say anything that day

She didn't ask me what happened to my swollen big bloodshot eyes

She also didn't ask how I got out of somewhere other than home

(61)

Thank you very much Deng Han

such a good girl

just i don't love her

I love someone who will never love me

love is like this

full of scars

who told you to fall in love with someone

(62)

The next day

I go to school

his place is empty

At that time I was still in the last

he is in the penultimate seat

I always look at him secretly in the name of looking at the blackboard

He's mostly asleep...

So I watched the back of his head for months...

I didn't go to the hospital those days

I'm afraid to see something that makes me sad

i'd rather play dumb

about 10 days

he comes to school

I just tremble when I walk

"I heard you were crying, do you like me so much?"

"I didn't cry"

"Luo Laoqi said that you cried with snot and tears"

"..."

"Thank you for caring about me"

He changed his joking tone and said seriously.

I wholeheartedly agreed

Those days we seem to go back to a year ago

I often help him to the school cafeteria

When eating at night, two men sit at the same table

The other two women were mourning at another table...

(63)

since that car accident

i know i really love him

I would rather watch him and others happy than silently bless

At that time, I felt very sorry for Deng Han

I promised her from the beginning that I liked her

i want to break up

at least i can't delay her

i don't deserve her to love me

It's not worth her being so kind to me

December 2009, 11

I picked such an ironic day to say goodbye to her

I went to their class to find her that day

She came out happily

"Today is Singles' Day, I wish them a happy holiday~~haha, we are not singles~~"

"Deng Han"

"Ah, what~"

"Let's break up"

"Is this a gift for me on Singles' Day?"

I kept silent and didn't answer, I didn't have the courage to say anything to hurt her

I've been an asshole since the beginning

total jerk

"Can you give me a reason, is there something wrong with me, I can change it, really"

Her voice sounded like a choke

I suddenly couldn't bear it, but I couldn't keep delaying her

"Speak up, the fucker is a bastard!"

"I'm not right for you, I'm not good enough for you"

"You're fine, don't I like you enough?"

"Don't do this"

She squatted down suddenly, I heard her cry

I don't know how to comfort her

"Is it because you didn't like me from the beginning?"

"..."

"Then let's break up, since you don't like me, don't force it"

She stood up, wiped her eyes, smiled and said to me

I watched her walk into the classroom

sorry Sorry

Sorry

(64)

Li Zi also knew about it the next day.

His first reaction was to hit me

heavy fists on the face

really hurt

"Do you like someone else?"

"Yes, I like it"

"How long have you liked it?"

"Like it for one year and three months"

"Did you like her when you and Deng Han were not together?"

"Um"

"Then you still promise her?"

"I want to forget him"

"Hey, forget it, I don't want to bother with you about this matter. I'll go and tell her about Yu Qin. I heard that Deng Han cried all night last night and didn't come to school today."

"what?"

"Go and ask"

I took my phone and dialed her number

"Hey"

"Deng Han, you didn't come to school today?"

"Oh, I'm not feeling well"

"Oh, take care of your body"

"Ah, you too"

beep beep phone hang up

I heard her thick nasal voice on the phone

i can't say anything

I'm sorry for her first

So if this is the case, let's break up decisively, maybe she will forget me soon

(65)

I was still with Li Ziyi after school that day

Li Ziyi and Yu Qin are holding arms

I silently follow behind

When I got downstairs, I saw a lot of people, they looked like gangsters

I take a detour

Suddenly someone said "it's him"

i don't have time to react

The gang surrounded me and started beating me.

i'm totally powerless

Just lie on the ground and let them beat you

heavy fist

I can smell blood in the air

The last thing I saw before I fainted was Li Ziyi running over

I was so relieved at that time

woke up in the hospital

he sits on the edge of the bed

"you're awake"

"Um"

"How did you recruit them?"

"I do not know"

"Don't worry, I'll find out"

"Um"

anyway, he worried about me

Is not it

i don't care about those who hit me

at least now i'm with him

(66)

dare not go home at night

I still called and lied to my mother

He helped me back to his house

December 2009, 11

more than a year

second time to his house

His family has hardly changed

still look like that

clean and simple

like a year ago

I also came to his house covered in bruises

(68)

He took the clothes for me and asked me to wash them

it's getting cold

I'm shaking after washing

"Is it cold?"

"Um"

"How cold?"

"very cold"

"Hey, it's really troublesome, come here, I'll hold you"

"what?"

"Lot of nonsense"

As soon as he finished speaking, I fell into his arms

His body temperature is really warm

He wiped my wet hair with a towel

I lean on him

time, stop it

(69)

The bedroom is so noisy today

I'm going to find someone

I'm a sophomore and I'm ready for graduate school.

It's good to learn well...

good night

☆, 7

(seventy)

just came back after going out to play

I wanted to read...

Weak will

The dorm aunt didn't want me to go in at the beginning

Hey

(71)

Those days he was really looking for the person who beat me that day

I really don't care

I wish he cared so much about me

Contentment

"Come with me when get out of class is over"

"Ok?"

"Don't talk nonsense, I found the person who beat you that day"

"Um"

After class, he dragged me away, feeling very heavy

Then we went to a game hall

Luo Ge is waiting for us at the door

It was cold then

can breathe out heat

"You guys just came, you're freezing me to death"

"Really her?"

"She admitted, how do I know she is so ignorant?"

"Hey"

He looked inside, with hesitation or something in his eyes

"Peng Qiuqi, to be honest, that group of people was called by Yu Qin that day."

"Oh" "She said she was angry but you dumped Deng Han just like that"

"Oh"

"I'm having a hard time right now"

"Oh"

"You said it"

"I've been saying it all the time"

I raised my head and smiled at him, trying to pretend I was fine.

It's okay, it's not the first time someone beats you

(72)

"Later, you go in and find Yu Qin by yourself, I had a fight with her because of this matter"

"okay"

"This time it's her fault, I will ask her to apologize to you"

"It's ok"

Brother Luo took me in to find her, and Li Ziyi was standing outside, probably because it would be embarrassing to go in

what is this

"Go in, she's in this room"

"Um"

Pushing open the door, she was standing at the window, looking at Li Ziyi downstairs.

"This time it was my fault, I apologize"

"It's nothing, I'm actually sorry for Deng Han"

"Oh, yes, I heard that you have loved someone for more than a year"

"Um"

"Would you like me to guess who she is"

"what?"

"Is it Li Ziyi?"

"what?"

"Like him for a long time"

"..."

"Sure enough, I should have known it from the beginning. Every time I was with him, I could always feel your gaze, which made me furious. At first I thought it was nothing, but later Brother Luo told me that he accidentally hit you in a car accident that day. When you came to the emergency room crying, I felt something was wrong. I always thought you were weak and weak like a woman, but now you seem to really like a man?"

"..."

"Don't pretend, there's nothing you can't admit"

"Yes, I like him, so what?"

"Don't you think you're disgusting? He likes women, not a yin and yang person like you, man!"

After I left the room, there was always a word in my mind

"Don't you think you're disgusting? He likes women, not a yin and yang person like you, man!"

I love someone for so long, in exchange for other people's evaluation is disgusting to me

It was a heavy burden

(73)

Luo Ge saw that I rushed out suddenly

follow me and ask me what's wrong

what can I say?

Did someone discover my buried feelings, or was I scolded and disgusted?

Or I will never forget his sorrow