drowning

In Jiang Yu's description, his cheap younger brother is as stupid as a goose. When he was a child, he was even fat and stupid, and his mind was full of lard.But when Xu Yanxin saw Zhao Cong, he knew that he had exaggerated.Zhao Cong is fat, but not exaggeratedly fat. Wearing a plaid shirt and glasses, he looks bookish.When Jiang Yu introduced him, he said "a friend", but Zhao Cong politely called him Mr. Xu.

Xu Yanxin was secretly shocked by the gap in impression.Zhao Cong didn't know the secret, so he only wanted to ask for advice. Xu Yanxin asked casually, "You are a science and engineering student, why would you want to take the bar exam across majors?"

Zhao Cong smiled shyly and said, "I didn't get my grades back then, so I wanted to study the Fa."

Xu Yanxin nodded and didn't ask any more questions.But Zhao Cong lowered his head because of this, and asked him: "Am I really stupid?"

"How come, you learn quickly," Xu Yanxin joked, "Your brother is sick, so he always hits you."

Zhao Cong corrected him quite seriously, "He's just a bad mouther, but everything else is fine."

"He scolded you so much, don't you hate him?"

"It was annoying at first," he continued, as if lost in memory, "but after a long time, you will know what kind of person he is. He has a poisonous mouth, but not a poisonous heart. He is just a little cold, but absolutely It can't be called cruel, besides, he was okay with me. The previous thing...we were sorry for him."

Xu Yanxin thought for a long time, but he seemed to have no position to respond.Because what he said is true.Perhaps only Jiang Yu can say that "it's okay", other than that, no one is qualified to comfort them.When he was young, he always understood poverty as miserable and pitiful, but he didn't know that he imagined a poor family too harmoniously, but poverty was dependent on each other. It was Jiang Yu who broke his ignorant imagination. Material deprivation may lead to spiritual The barrenness and incompleteness of the world, even the sorrow is full of noise.

Fortunately, Zhao Cong didn't want to ask for his comfort, as if he just brought it up casually.When we parted, Zhao Cong asked his name, and Xu Yanxin reported it to him. Zhao Cong was stunned for a few seconds and said, "This name sounds familiar."

Xu Yanxin smiled and said, "I'm your brother's high school classmate."

Zhao Cong still frowned, and said in a low voice, "It seems that I didn't hear it until high school."

"Maybe it's my name, Public."

Xu Yanxin didn't take it seriously and said goodbye to him.

Seeing Zhao Cong's figure disappear at the end of the street, he felt a kind of desolation that he had never felt before.If Zhao Cong is the one who is loved by the heavens and has awe-inspiring talent, will he still think of Jiang Yu, his half-brother?This is a question that cannot be pondered deeply. As Jiang Yu said, there must be two kinds of confusion in life.

One part of Jiangyu's confusion was given to the former family members, but what about the other part?

Who did he give it to?

When he passed the coffee shop downstairs in Ruixin, he happened to catch a glimpse of Jiang Yu and Zhang An sitting facing each other, seeming to be talking.

Jiang Yu has Bai Yueguang, he admits it, but how can Jiang Yu meet his old lover in private, let alone after he successfully became a regular.

The pity he had for Jiang Yu was soon burnt out by jealousy. He bought a cup of coffee and sat not far from them with a magazine in his hand. When he looked up, he could see Zhang An's red eyes.Just when he was wondering whether Jiang Yu would succumb to his tears and do this or that, he only heard Jiang Yu say: "I said it from the beginning, I will never fall in love with you."

Zhang An said in a hoarse voice: "It's been four years, Jiang Yu, even if your heart is a stone, I should warm it up."

"But from the beginning, we just acted on the occasion, we pretended to like each other, you want me to behave enthusiastically, gentlemanly, and love classics, I just behave according to your request, but you know it's not true," Jiang Yu back Facing Xu Yanxin, the voice was so flat that it seemed to be chatting about the weather, "We have never been a couple, where does the warmth come from?"

"But you know that I like you, in the second year, I fell in love with you, I have long forgotten about him. I will help you celebrate your birthday, spend Christmas with you, and talk about all your secrets. We were originally in the UK Okay, it’s just because of that fire, what did you throw away in that fire that made you want to go back to China without hesitation? Pounds, diamonds, or the rubbish piled up in the study? You know everything, but you still treat me as a It's not fair to be his substitute. You can clearly see it... You were drunk that day and asked me if I wanted to be with you. I thought you were serious, and that was my happiest moment."

"But you just took me for him, didn't you?"

Xu Yanxin grabbed the magazine and stood in front of her, not daring to vent her anger.

During Jiang Yu's silence for a few seconds, Xu Yanxin had turned from the anger of catching the rape to the astonishment of watching the show, and now it has completely turned into the fear of being dumped the next day.He was afraid that Jiang Yu would say, I know, I like you too, let that Xu Yanxin go as far as he can.If this is the case, he will probably cry for three days and three nights and then pull a banner at the gate of Ruixin to accuse the unscrupulous boss.

He thought of all the tragic endings, but there was still a small hope in his heart.

What if.

In case Jiang Yu said, I like Xu Yanxin like that.

However, Jiang Yu didn't go to the worst ending, but he didn't hear what he wanted to hear either.

Jiang Yu just said calmly and flatly: "You said I was drunk, how could I remember."

"Yes, yes, you are drunk, but I am awake. I have done so much for you, can't you really see?"

"Sorry, I didn't notice."

Zhang An opened his mouth, trying to evoke Jiang Yu's memories.However, Jiang Yu just said something again, sorry, I don't remember.It stands to reason that Xu Yanxin should applaud and feel happy.His object was so resolute and indifferent towards his old lover, but at that moment, he really couldn't give birth to any comfort.He just thought blankly, so Jiangyu still has such a side.

"If it's okay, I'll have something else later."

He was cruel to the point of being unfeeling.

At first he thought that he would stand up like a TV show, accusing himself of meeting his lover's boyfriend secretly, and then leave the scene in front of his lover, which should be like this.But at that moment, he couldn't blame Zhang An.A man like him can't blame a sentimental man anyway.

Just as he was in a daze, his cell phone rang suddenly.

It was Jiang Yu calling.

Xu Yanxin looked at him, hurriedly hid behind the wall, and answered his phone.As soon as the call was connected, Jiang Yu asked, "Why so slow?" with a bit of questioning and a smile.

Xu Yanxin replied vaguely: "It's a bit noisy here, I didn't hear it."

Jiang Yu said with a smile that he was deaf, and walked out, seeing that he was about to pass through his passage, Xu Yanxin lowered his head like a thief, looked at the toes of his shoes, and reduced his sense of existence as much as possible.He heard Jiang Yu say, "Where are you? I'll pick you up."

Where did Xu Yanxin dare to speak, she just held her breath and waited for him to pass by.However, seeing that the person on the phone did not speak, Jiang Yu stopped and sent someone a text message.Taking advantage of his lowered head, Xu Yanxin quickly passed through another passage, and said to Jiang Yu on the phone: "I'm on the bus, I'll go back by myself."

"You're acting weird today," Jiang Yu said.

"What are you talking about?"

The other side stopped for a few seconds and said, "It's okay, maybe I was thinking too much. Then we'll meet at home."

"Ah."

However, neither of them hung up the phone. After a few seconds, Jiang Yu asked, "Do you have any questions?"

Xu Yanxin touched the ground with his toes, and his hesitant figure was reflected on the smooth floor tiles.His confusion has nowhere to hide under the transparent and bright light.He couldn't help but said, "Why did you return home suddenly?"

Is it really, as Zhang An said, for the "white moonlight"?

"To make money," Jiang Yu saw that he didn't answer, paused, and teased, "Why, disappointed? Do you want to hear what I have to say? It's for love and dreams?"

"No, anyway, I don't know if your words are sincere," Xu Yanxin said, "You always have to guess. What if I can't guess?"

Jiang Yu chuckled, "You're so smart, how could you be so uncertain."

"You just don't dare to guess."

In the middle of the night, the hairy monkey closed the shop and set up a square wooden table by the side of the road, with two ceramic bowls on it, a pot of appetizers, and some beer bottles on the bottom.As soon as I looked up, it was a dark night, and there were a few stars that were not very obvious.

Looking at the rolled up curtain, Jiang Yu suddenly dreamed back to ten years ago.When he was sixteen or seventeen, he always drank with hairy monkeys in this way, but this time, there was an extra black dog with a hazel looking at him rather hostilely, as if he recognized him as the ruthless man who hated him.

Jiang Yu teased it with a piece of braised pork, "You want to eat your brother so much? The dog just killed is just like you, black as black."

The black dog seemed to understand his provocation, and grinned at him twice, Jiang Yu didn't know whether he had drunk too much or something, "Don't scare me. The person who loves you is not here today, so don't show me your prestige." .”

The hairy monkey said, "Did you start cursing at his dog while he was away?"

"Who's his? Does he want this dog? He can't help but love this poor thing. Do you really think this dog is special in his heart? He loves everyone, but not Prefer any one of them."

The hairy monkey stopped his hand from pouring the wine, "He doesn't favor you anymore. Xinxin told you that his mother was sick and had to go back to take care of her for two days. Why do you act like a resentful husband who ran away with his daughter-in-law?" How about it? Besides, if you are really afraid that people will abandon you, why didn't you say that he was the one you missed ten years ago, so that people would misunderstand. Leave my wife alone and kneel down on the durian."

"Don't compare me to you."

"What's the matter, earning some money is great? Let me tell you, if you love him, you have to pay for him. As the saying goes, if you hold back and wait for someone to take the bait, it means you don't love him that much," Maohou said. , Thinking of his past ten years, I felt that these words were not universal, "But you seem to love him quite a lot, so how can you put on airs like this?"

"When he was busy with the case a few days ago, I read a novel called "Stoner" to pass the time. He always dangled in front of me, so that I didn't read anything." Thinking of this, Jiang Yu couldn't help laughing, "I only remember one sentence, Stoner said to Edith, 'You must know that I love you, I don't even know how to hide it', at that time I was just thinking—— "

"It turns out that I am so blessed, I like him so much, but he never found out."

The hairy monkey said anxiously: "Then why don't you tell him? I think you are both anxious."

"And then? Then he will be moved, guilty, and cry in my arms, and will promise to stay by my side forever, even if he doesn't love me that much, it's not that I don't have confidence in myself, nor in him. He can clearly Falling in love with a kind and innocent girl and spending our whole life together, how could I have the nerve to force him to go to hell with me? Is it because I have had a crush on him for ten years? What's more, he and I are people in two worlds. When he One day he realizes how despicable and cruel I am, and he will run away naturally."

"Do you know? I even thought about paying off Jiang Tao's hand, so I don't have to help him pay off a gambling debt," Jiang Yu said with a smile, "But I can't know the law and break the law, I just think about it."

Jiang Yu gulped down half a bottle of beer, and the foam jammed his throat.

He said: "Only one time, this time in my life, I don't force him, he used to say I'm like Rick, so I let him do it once, I gave him the pass to escape from me, he can do it anytime Leave without guilt," Jiang Yu lowered his voice, and continued, "But if he chooses to stay and discard that pass, then I will never let it go again."

The hairy monkey sighed and said: "You are not embarrassed, you are obviously reluctant."

"Don't talk about me being so kind," Jiang Yu laughed at himself, "I'm just timid. Before he hugged me, I didn't dare to hug him. I've been dreaming for too many years."

"Who knows when this dream will end."

The author says:

If there is a parallel time and space, if Xinxin really doesn't fall in love with Brother Dao, Brother Dao will still find a partner in the circle, and then live his life in a normal way.And many, many years later, when they are all old and weak, and are about to finish the last journey of their lives, Xu Yanxin will be surprised to find that this "friend" who turned his back on him, stayed away from him, and spoke sarcasticly to him left everything to him , along with a blank letter.