Instinctive reaction

Why on earth would he want to die?

Is the reason why I traveled here just to save myself who was determined to die in this period?

Lin Leyang stared at the ceiling every night when he couldn't sleep, and asked countless times in his heart.Everyone didn't believe his words, and everyone played jokes on him like playing along with him.

What can I do on my own...

To be honest, Lin Leyang is not very clear, he only knows that he has to search, no matter what he is looking for, if he wants to go back to ten years ago, he has to do so.He could always hear a voice urging him in his half-dream and half-awake—to find it quickly, to find the answer, to find a way to get him back, he doesn't belong here.

Li Chuan showed a certain kind of silence to his answer, Lin Leyang looked at him, and finally couldn't hide his emotions that had been suppressed for many days.

"Have you heard what they said?"

The young man still looked at the scar on his wrist, his expression was deep and restrained that didn't match his age, and when he heard the emotion in his words, he just raised his eyes and asked, "What did they say?"

"I said that when I cut my wrist, I also broke my brain." Lin Leyang did not dare to say such words to Wu Xu and the others. Those people were too sensitive to his injury, but Li Chuan was different. They had similarities. places, similar scars.

Li Chuan frowned slightly.

Through these few days of getting along, Lin Leyang found that his appearance is not bad, but he is too thin, and his skin is dark, which makes him look rustic. In fact, the boy's eye sockets are deep and his nose is straight. Although he has single eyelids, The eye shape is not narrow, and the profile curve is distinct. As long as he dresses up a little, he should be the kind of handsome guy who is very attractive to girls.For example, now, with just one look, his whole aura has changed.

As if he didn't like what Lin Leyang said, he paused for two seconds before speaking: "I haven't heard anyone else say that."

"It's about the same anyway." Lin Leyang retorted unwillingly.

Just kidding, how can I be suppressed by a child?Even though it was childish of him to do so.

Li Chuan didn't mean to argue with him, but just stated the facts: "I haven't communicated with other people in the hospital."

Lin Leyang was stunned for a moment, "Are you also in a single room?"

Li Chuan shook his head, "Four people."

This time without waiting for Lin Leyang to speak, he spoke first: "They don't want to talk to me."

Lin Leyang's expression softened after hearing this.

He is always full of love, and his favorite thing to do on weekdays is to pick up some kittens and puppies to take home, so he has been scolded by his sister for this.His parents were always tolerant of him, but Lin Ruoliu took care of him more, often educating him like an elder.

Lin Leyang couldn't help looking at Li Chuan with the eyes of an elderly person, like looking at the kittens and puppies he once picked up.He is the one who needs to be taken care of at home, and has never taken care of anyone before. The boy in front of him has become the first one he can take care of.

"Why don't they want to talk to you?" He turned his head to the side, his eyes clearly reflected the youth's figure.He didn't ask for an answer, but continued, "I'll talk to you."

Li Chuan looked at him, and suddenly stretched out his hand to brush his hair, "Well, it's enough if you want to."

Lin Leyang suddenly had a novel feeling, and he benefited from such a responsive conversation.

He is not a person who can endure loneliness, and always likes to be lively, but in the huge hospital, he can't find a companion who can talk about it.

Lin Leyang couldn't help but rejoice that he saw Li Chuan squatting next to the fake rock painting and drawing one day not long ago. Out of curiosity, he walked over and saw a piece of lead gray grass painted on the white paper childishly, and a flower was drawn crookedly.

so ugly.

But he took a step closer, and just this step narrowed the distance between them.

##

Lin Leyang likes to draw, and he didn't put down his brush until he was in high school.

When he was a child, his parents enrolled him in classes. He didn’t want to learn traditional sketching. He always scribbled according to his own ideas. The teacher said that he was talented, but he couldn’t get decent grades just relying on his favorite drawing. .

Lin Leyang doesn't like being framed, he and his sister Lin Ruoliu have completely opposite personalities.When I was young, I used to worry that I was not born to my parents. After I played the violin and my neighbors complained, this idea flooded him when he was young, and he cried and cried while holding the violin.

Afterwards, his parents comforted him dumbfounded: If you don’t learn, don’t learn, no one forces you to learn, just do what you want.

Lin Leyang has been free from restraint since he was a child, so in high school, he really stopped learning to draw, and no one in his family raised any objections.

Ordinary people will struggle to think about it, is it okay to give up so easily on something that has been insisted on so hard?What Lin Leyang thought in his heart was that he would never stop painting. This is a hobby. He didn't set a goal for himself, and he didn't have to reach a certain step. He felt that this is good now, and he can stop, so stop Down.

His classmates in high school said that he had no ambitions, so Lin Leyang lay lazily on the desk, the afternoon sun fell on half of his cheeks, so young, so willful, he could do anything for no reason, and could also be forgiven.

He said very frankly: "Yes, I just don't have lofty ideals."

He spoke with tiredness, like a big cat loafing in the corner, still curly, even the eyelashes were curled up and filled with light, light golden spread out, but there was a small shadow on his shoulder, blocked by the window eaves, like him A small world of freedom.

At that time, Lin Leyang never imagined that two years later, he would be in such a state of embarrassment. When he opened his eyes, he would travel to ten years later. his enigma.

What is there to hide?

Lin Leyang couldn't figure it out, let alone why the people in the hospital were so unfriendly to Li Chuan.

Through the past few days of getting along, he deeply felt that Li Chuan was a very good person, calm and talkative, but willing to listen, except for occasionally staring at him with strange eyes, he was a perfect partner.

##

No one came to visit at night, Lin Leyang was alone holding an apple and gnawing on it.

Wu Xu brought too many fruits, and they would take up space in the room. The weather is getting hotter, and they will go bad after a long time. Lin Leyang simply gave them to the sister nurse who came to make rounds.

In private, he secretly called someone's sister, regardless of whether he liked it or not.In short, the nurse is soft-handed and short-mouthed, and the nurse will occasionally reveal something about the hospital to Lin Leyang.

For example, don’t suddenly look in the mirror when you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, don’t take the elevator to the 18th floor alone, don’t walk in front and call the name of the person behind you…

Lin Leyang didn't want to listen to ghost stories in the hospital at all, and every time he listened to the beginning with great interest, the more he listened to it, the more he lost his face, and at the end he had nothing to love.

He figured it out, the nurses in the hospital liked to tease him and treat him like a mascot.

It's just that occasionally he sits there quietly and doesn't speak, so they won't joke with him.

Today, he sat cross-legged on the bed and ate apples, and the nurse came to make rounds and said, "I saw you came back with Li Chuan today."

"Yes." Lin Leyang was very frank, full of loyalty to stand up for his brother, "Is there any problem?"

The nurse shook her head, "No, he is emotionally stable this time, which is really rare."

"This time?" Lin Leyang caught the point, "Has he been here many times?"

The nurse glanced at him, "Well, he is also a regular customer."

After the nurse left, Lin Leyang threw the apple core into the trash can, his fingers were sticky, and went into the bathroom to rinse his hands.

After all, it was a ward, and it was gloomy when the lights were off. He stood in front of the bed for a while, and finally lay down sideways on the bed. I took the box in my hand and looked through it. At this moment, there was a "dong dong" sound in the ward.

His hands trembled, and his face was almost hurt again.The glasses rolled out of the case, and he pushed himself up from the bed.

No one will knock on his door.

Especially this time.

Lin Leyang swallowed, "Who is it?"

The person outside the door said, "Li Chuan."

Lin Leyang was stunned for a moment, and then he breathed a sigh of relief, "Come in, the door is unlocked, I'm scared..."

The door was opened, Li Chuan stood outside and looked at him, "Why don't you turn on the light?"

Only at this moment did Lin Leyang feel that the room was too dark, and when he got up to turn on the light, Li Chuan took the lead.The dazzling white weaving lamp came on, and he couldn't keep his eyes open.

"Why are you here?" he wondered.

"See, you didn't turn on the lights here." Li Chuan replied.

Lin Leyang stared at him blankly.

Li Chuan continued: "Just kidding, someone in our ward got sick and was pinned down on my bed by the nurse. I have nowhere to go."

Lin Leyang was skeptical, but still patted his bed to express his friendliness.

Li Chuan was not polite, he sat on it directly, raised his head to look at him, and was obedient even though he was silent.

Lin Leyang thought for a while and said, "Do you eat fruit?"

"Don't eat."

The atmosphere was directly awkward.

The two of them only had contact outdoors, and Li Chuan said very little, and it was often Lin Leyang who asked first before answering a few simple sentences.

Lin Leyang suddenly thought: "Hey, I haven't asked how old you are yet?"

Li Chuan glanced at him, and replied slowly, "In 07."

Lin Leyang was stuck: "07... How old is it?" He was shocked by this number.

Li Chuan slightly turned his head away, "Nineteen."

Lin Leyang "haha" laughed dryly, "Then I am nine years older than you."

God knows his heart was bleeding when he said this.

"Yes." Li Chuan said, "I know."

Lin Leyang wondered: "How do you know?"

Li Chuan paused, "Someone in the ward said you."

"No one talks about me in the hospital this afternoon."

Li Chuan said frankly, "Well, I lied."

Lin Leyang had nothing to do with him, and sat next to the boy, "You really don't eat fruit?"

"No..." Li Chuan just swallowed half a word, then asked Lin Leyang, "Do you want me to eat?"

Lin Leyang blinked, "Eat it if you want, don't be embarrassed by me."

He thought Li Chuan was shy.

Li Chuan didn't intend to explain, and watched Lin Leyang stand up again to get fruit from the cabinet.

"There are apples, strawberries, and mangoes." Lin Leyang tilted his head from the side of the cabinet, "What do you eat?"

Li Chuan looked at him, "It's all fine."

"Then I took them all, can you take some back?"

"No, I don't eat it often." After Li Chuan finished speaking, he suddenly scratched an object in his hand, lowered his head to see it clearly, and picked it up.

Lin Leyang saw the glasses in his hand, "Ah...that's mine, it just fell out accidentally."

"Do you need to wear glasses?" Li Chuan didn't hand him the glasses, but held them in his hands and asked, "You shouldn't be short-sighted, right?"

"Well, I tried wearing it once, and it's no different from not wearing it."

Lin Leyang handed the fruit to him, only to realize that the boy's palm was wider than his.Obviously the body is equally weak, the boy's complexion looks even worse than his, but his height and frame completely crush him.But this is innate, Lin Leyang can't stand it even if he wants to.

"Then there's no need to wear glasses." In exchange, Li Chuan handed over the glasses, keeping his head up and looking at Lin Leyang, "You look better without glasses."

It was not the first time Lin Leyang was praised, but it was the first time he was praised by someone so much younger than him.A few days ago, Li Chuan's voice was still hoarse, but now it is much better, and his voice is low and pleasant and very recognizable.

He was a little embarrassed.

"I don't plan to wear glasses again... Zhao Ruixiao brought them to me." Lin Leyang felt that Li Chuan was a very good person at this time, and wanted to talk to him about everything, "I actually don't remember wearing glasses before. .”

Li Chuan suddenly asked: "You said you didn't remember before, so you don't remember everything?"

Lin Leyang did not rush to speak this time.

Li Chuan noticed his gaze, "Aren't you willing to tell me?"

Most people would considerately say that it's fine if they don't want to, but he doesn't play his cards according to the routine.

This made it difficult for Lin Leyang to think about it or not.

The timeline is 2026