Instinctive reaction

After thinking about it for a while, I still need to explain the past clearly before I can tell that Xiao Kemeng will remember everything when he wakes up, and Le Zai will remember everything. The day before the start of the university is the day before he met Ji Wanke.

Why are dreams more vivid than memories?

He will never remember it when he wakes up, and he will experience it again in his dream.

It seems to be punishing him for evading, punishing him for making that choice in the end.

Lin Leyang stood in the rainy day, putting a bouquet of flowers in front of the grave, the umbrella was tilted, the rain wet his shoulders, and a drop fell on his lens, through the thin lens, the mist blurred his expression.

He no longer looks like he was when he was young, if Ji Wanke saw him at this moment, he might not be able to recognize him.

After Ji Wanke left, he became a very bad person.

I can't sleep and eat on time, tossing myself into poor health.I just learned to lie, and said to everyone: "I'm fine, I'm fine, don't worry about me."

In fact, after the death of his parents, Lin Leyang was trapped in a dream for half a year, and often woke up at night, dreaming that the weather in China was still sunny in June, and Australia was already covered with snow.

If only they didn't go on tour, or go to that goddamn ski resort.

When he was young, he always had these unrealistic fantasies. How old was he? 22 years old.

How old is Ji Wanke?More than half a year younger than him.

Originally, Ji Wanke was angry for getting up, and would be super depressed after being woken up, but during that time—for a long time after that, whenever Lin Leyang woke up from a nightmare, he would hug him and pat him He waited for him to fall asleep before he was willing to rest assured to sleep.

Lin Leyang didn't even know how he woke up, he obviously relaxed his movements, but Ji Wanke always woke up at the first time and comforted him, kissed his hair ends and eyebrows, and took his trembling hands into his palms.

Lin Leyang would cry after being comforted. At first Ji Wanke was at a loss, but then he simply silently kissed his tears into his own mouth, tasting the bitterness too.

He never said that it doesn't matter, it will pass, he just told Lin Leyang, let's go wash our face after crying, and I will accompany you.

This situation lasted for a long time, until Lin Leyang said: "Won't you be angry if I disturb your sleep?"

The tone of his question was too cautious, Ji Wanke asked him in turn: "If something happened to my family, would you despise me? Do you think I cried and woke up from a nightmare?"

Lin Leyang shook his head.

"Lin Xiaoque, are you an idiot?" Ji Wanke wiped away the tears from the corners of his eyes, and put a kiss on his tearful eyes, "Me too, I just feel distressed."

So Lin Leyang docked.

Finally reached the shore after a long time of floating.

Lin Ruoliu was also extremely haggard during that time. The siblings took over their parents' small company, and they had to take care of all matters by themselves.Lin Leyang has just graduated and is still not proficient in anything. After a whole night of insomnia, he has to go to the company to work and study in the early morning fog.Because natural curls are really difficult to manage, he didn't have extra time to waste on such things, so he straightened them out.

Ji Wanke has never pursued anything in terms of hairstyle and clothing. Even when he goes out in slippers and shorts, people always ask him for WeChat.

When Lin Leyang was in school, he often felt depressed because of this, and he worked harder to dress himself up, euphemistically saying: The one who can't lose you.

Ji Wanke rolled his eyes, "I think it's you who want to look good."

After graduation, Lin Leyang got rid of most of this "bad habit", but it was Ji Wanke's turn to be dissatisfied.

The only time he asked for a hairstyle was to Lin Leyang.

"I'll curl your hair for you when you go out on vacation."

Lin Leyang was washing his face at the time, and raised his head when he heard the words, "No need, it's too troublesome...and you will?"

Ji Wanke paused, "If you don't know it, you can learn it."

"So you're using me as a hand practice?" Lin Leyang saw in the mirror that the other party's complexion was getting worse and worse, so he quickly coaxed, "You can practice hands, of course, my hair grows out for you to practice hands with!"

Ji Wanke stepped forward and patted his already straightened hair, "Spoof."

Lin Leyang actually likes this kind of dialogue very much, it will make him forget his fatigue for a while, and feel that he can still hold on for a while.

The most difficult time was spent by Ji Wanke with him.

He was so busy that he forgot to eat, Ji Wanke called Lin Ruoliu if he couldn't get through, and Wu Xu if he couldn't get through.

Wu Xu said, "Young Master! Please spare me, I am not a slave to your love!"

Ji Wanke answered naturally: "Isn't Lin Leyang your dearest little boy?"

Wu Xu: "Hehe, if I say this, you have to kill me, and you can just say it yourself."

Ji Wanke said: "He was busy with work and forgot to eat, and he didn't even look at his mobile phone. Call him for me, please."

Wu Xu hadn't partnered with Zhao Ruixiao at that time, and entered a small business according to his parents' arrangement.It's really close, less than 10 minutes away, and I occasionally have lunch with Lin Leyang.

There are too few things that can make Ji Wanke say "please".

This time Wu Xu had nothing to say, and responded with an "um", muttering that he was going there.

During that time, Ji Wanke was also very busy, his work had just started, he had a lot of new knowledge to digest, he was exhausted every day, and the only rest time he had was to take care of Lin Leyang.

Even Lin Ruoliu was surprised.

After all, in her eyes, Ji Wanke has a surly and flamboyant personality, and it seems that he will never be the one who is tolerant. Others can love him, but he cannot love him more than the other party.

But she remembered that on the day of her parents' funeral, she and Lin Leyang had to receive many people, and Ji Wanke was always helping her younger brother, and even answered politely when Lin Leyang's eyes were red and he couldn't say anything.

When everyone was gone and only them were left, Lin Leyang took Ji Wanke's hand and solemnly introduced to the parents in the photo: I haven't told you guys yet, and there will be no chance in the future. This is the person I like, my Boy friend.

Ji Wanke presented a bouquet of flowers, with his head slightly lowered, silent and docile, like a loyal dog.

Lin Ruoliu thought, maybe she was presumptuous.

She has never liked anyone as passionately as Lin Leyang, and she also forgot that her brother is a very good person, and she should attract excellent people to like him.

There is nothing to care about if you love more or less, they are together as a mutual choice question.

I choose to love you, and you choose to love me.

During the time when her parents died, Ji Wanke was extremely reliable.Lin Leyang was too anxious to grow up, anxious to become mature and stable, and wanted to help Lin Ruoliu share more.Ji Wanke didn't stop him, but on many occasions he used his actions to prove that Lin Leyang could slow down, even slower, because he was by his side.

It was a desperate coincidence that the fat orange cat named "Wangcai" lived for 14 years, and died in the year when his parents passed away. He died of old age.

Lin Leyang personally dug a hole in the backyard and buried it.

At that time, his nails were still stuck in mud, and even the knees of his trousers were dirty. Looking at this, Ji Wanke suddenly said: "Lele, let's go and see the house someday. I want to live with you. Do you want to live with me?" In no mood?"

Lin Leyang blinked blankly, and Ji Wanke said again: "If you don't think about it, you have to think about it, I've seen all the houses."

Lin Leyang had a sore nose and wanted to cry again.

Like a broken kite, he forcibly rolled himself into the sky. He didn't know where he was going, and he didn't even have a landing point.

And Ji Wanke gave him a direction where he could land.

He raised his hand to wipe his tears while crying, Ji Wanke quickly walked up to him, took his muddy hand, and gently wiped his tears, "Hey, tell me you want to."

Lin Leyang nodded vigorously: "I think."

He was so afraid of loneliness, Ji Wanke gave him a home.

The day Ji Wanke had a car accident was a rainy day.

Lin Leyang hated the rain a little bit, but he didn't hate it that much.

On rainy days, he would miss Ji Wanke. Occasionally, when he was in the mood, he would go alone to eat in the restaurant that he always took Ji Wanke to, and he would still sit by the window. The difference was that he would come alone from now on.

He started to have nightmares again, would wake up in the night, and face the room where he was alone.Sometimes I can't figure out whether I am insomnia or afraid of falling asleep. In my dream, there is a picture of two people together, and there is nothing after waking up.

He began to forget the time to eat again, and lived in a daze every day, always realizing that he hadn't eaten all day when he had stomach cramps.

In the few months after Ji Wanke left, he made himself very bad. In the end, Lin Ruoliu cried and said, "Do you remember what you promised me?"

Lin Leyang recalled it, he was really a terrible person, he almost forgot.

When she heard the news of her parents' death that year, her sister shed tears in front of him, tightly grasped his hand and said, "I'm the only one left, you can't have any more accidents, you can't be in trouble." ...I only have you."

Lin Leyang opened his arms and hugged Lin Ruoliu into his arms, only to realize that he was already so much taller than his sister. He was an adult and should take care of the family, so he made a promise: "No accident will happen to me, I will stay here .”

Fate took away too many things from Lin Leyang. In the past, it was the pets, then the parents, and finally even the lover.

But he promised his sister would live well.

He began to force himself to eat, even though he would spit it out after eating, forced himself to show a smile to outsiders, and only allowed himself to return to his original state when he was alone.He doesn’t say that he can’t sleep, has nightmares, and his favorite snacks and desserts have become unpalatable. He pretends to live like many people, and occasionally shares the restaurants he’s been to in his circle of friends—from beginning to end Only that one restaurant.

Everyone thought that he was developing in a good direction and that he would come out.

Only Zhao Ruixiao and Wu Xu knew that before Ji Wanke's accident, they had called on the phone and made an appointment to go to the hair salon to have their hair cut.

"Because summer is coming, I'm a little bit afraid of summer. My hair can grow longer after it's cut. When it's hot, the air conditioner can't be blown everywhere." Lin Leyang even made a small joke at the time.

Wu Xu exposed him: "Ji Wanke asked you to cut it, you listen to him for everything."

Lin Leyang pretended not to hear, and continued: "When he comes back from a business trip in two days, I'll cut it!"

But he didn't wait.

So the hair has stayed at that length and hasn't changed.

They all knew what Lin Leyang was waiting for.

He waited for Ji Wanke to come back, and they went to cut it together.

What if you can't wait?No one asked.

Because Lin Leyang has been waiting.

Until Lin Leyang began to forget things and read Ji Wanke's name innocently.

All were silent.

Everyone suffocated in silence.

One evening when the curtain fell, Lin Ruoliu suddenly asked Zhao Ruixiao, "Did I do something wrong?"

Zhao Ruixiao looked at her.

"I shouldn't have kept him, and I shouldn't have reminded him of our promise over and over again." Lin Ruoliu's eyes showed another kind of despair, "He's living in pain."

—Then let him die like this?

No one speaks.

After a long time, Zhao Ruixiao said: "Don't think like this, Le Yang doesn't want you to think like that either."

Of course Lin Ruoliu knew.

Every time I met Lin Leyang, I greeted her with my best state, and each time I gave her a hug and told her: "Don't worry, I'm fine."

At that time, he no longer used modal particles to modify himself, only he was willing to pretend to be a child to Lin Ruoliu.

Lin Ruoliu looked at her younger brother, and suddenly wanted to say, don't grow up.

But she understood that it was Ji Wanke who kept him from growing up. After his parents died, everything and everyone made him grow up quickly.

And now the man who was willing to mark the landing point for him was also dead.

Once again he took off aimlessly and kept flying.

When do you fly to?

Fly to crash.

In the second year after Ji Wanke's death, it also rained that day.

Lin Leyang had a dream.

On the day he went to pay homage to Ji Wanke, he was in good condition. He put on the birthday present Ji Wanke had prepared for him on his previous birthday—the pair of silver-rimmed glasses. Right? He always said I didn’t grow up like a child, so it should be fine now.”

In fact, he is mature enough and steady, no one will say he is like a child, no one will think he is childish.

Only Ji Wanke can say that.

The rain was still falling, hitting his shoulders but not a single drop fell on the lilies in his arms.

This is the flower dedicated to Ji Wanke.

"Let's go." He said softly, with a soft expression, "Let's go see him."

In the dream, I held an umbrella in front of the tomb, chattering.

My sister, Zhao Ruixiao, and Wu Xu were all there, and they were the ones who came to see Ji Wanke last year, oh yes, and Ning Qian.

His memory is slowly fading, and he can't remember many things that should be remembered.

Lin Leyang felt that this was not good, but he couldn't control it at all. When he forgot something, he habitually pinched his wrist, and quickly let go when the blood blocked the palm and changed color.

He can't do that.

He was so afraid of loneliness, but he lived in the house alone for two full years.

It's like a never-ending exile.

Maybe I'm sick.

"But I'm terrified of hospitals..."

After bidding farewell to Zhao Ruixiao and his party, the rain stopped, and Lin Leyang took a shower and dried his hair, sitting on the bed and muttering.

The night was dark and shrouded, the light fell on his back and side face, the surrounding was too quiet, only the sound of his breathing could be heard.

Lin Leyang suddenly thought of the night when Ji Wanke had an accident. When he rushed to the hospital, an ambulance arrived. He saw a bloody person lying on a stretcher and heard heart-piercing wailing.The rain drenched him thoroughly, and he swam away to see that it wasn't Ji Wanke lying on it, Ji Wanke was already dead.

After that, many things happened. The driver who caused the accident and Ji Wanke's aunt appeared one after another. Lin Leyang was so cruel and almost unreasonable that everyone who should be punished should be punished as they should.Wu Xu said that he was terrible at that time, and he could only shake his head with a docile expression like a deer, "I don't remember."

Is it that those are not important, so he doesn't remember, or he doesn't want to remember, so he doesn't remember?

Lin Leyang himself didn't know.

He thought again in a trance, if only he could go back.

Going back to ten years ago, back when his parents were still there, this time he would meet Ji Wanke earlier than before, say that he likes him earlier, and would drag his parents to his graduation ceremony on the day of graduation, no They disagreed, and they were not allowed to leave themselves and their sisters to travel abroad.He wants to hold Ji Wanke's hand and tell them that we are in love, I love him very much, and he loves me very much, and we will always be together.

Until the day I turned 26, I would play my temper and tell him not to travel on business, let alone drive late.

That way we can be together for a long time.

He wanted to go back to the day before he met Ji Wanke.

In this way, they can meet immediately, and when they meet, he will say: "We are destined to love each other, so don't waste time, let's get together early!"

The moment the knife cut his wrist and the blood gushed out, he saw himself in a trance.

so good.

You are still so young and energetic, and you are full of expectations for the future.

I'm so tired, I can't hold on anymore, I want a dreamless sleep.

Can you live for me?

I want to thank you first, but when you wake up, you must say sorry to your sister.

Because I didn't keep my promise.

I am sorry.