The Boyfriend Return Policy

Although Cao Xi always said that he was too lazy to socialize with people, Xu Du always felt that he was not a particularly lonely person. He occasionally went to parties and class activities, but occasionally he liked the feeling of being alone.

Just like now, with the hot water sliding down his body, Xu Du closed his eyes, letting the shower make him unable to open his eyes.

At this time, the messy things will be sorted in their minds. Xu Du likes this effortless way of thinking very much.

After turning off the hot water, Xu Du casually wiped his hair with a towel, picked up the pajamas hanging on the rack, paused, and put them on again.

When Xu Du went out with a towel, Zhou Jixing was still eating. The most beautiful combination in the world is green and oily vegetables with all kinds of meat, meat!What is the difference between eating hot pot and not eating meat and not being lazy!It is simply disregarding life!

Zhou Jixing picked up the beef wrapped in pickled peppers, dipped it into the dipping sauce with minced garlic hoisin sauce and crushed peanuts, and then raised his hand. In Xu Du's eyes, it seemed to be in slow motion, and he was sent into the In the mouth, finally got a satisfied expression.

Xu Du stood there, holding the towel tightly. The towel that had just wiped his hair was half dry and half wet, and he squeezed out a cold hand.

He stepped forward and deliberately rubbed his hair violently in front of Zhou Jixing: "If you eat too much late at night, your stomach will not be able to rest. Sleeping at night will increase the burden on your stomach, which will further affect your rest and affect the absorption of nutrients in your stomach. "

Xu Du sat on the sofa with his buttocks, and kept pulling his hand with the towel: "And the peak period of calcium excretion in the human body is 4 to 5 hours after eating. If you eat supper, when the peak calcium excretion arrives, you have already gone to bed. When you fall asleep, the urine will stay in the ureter, bladder, and urethra, and cannot be excreted in time, so the calcium in the urine will continue to increase, and it will easily deposit and form crystals, which will gradually expand and form stones over time."

Zhou Jixing looked over: "Oh."

Xu Du: "Eating too much meat at midnight will not only increase the burden on the stomach and intestines, but also cause the blood in the body to rise suddenly, and when people sleep, the blood..."

"But it's delicious."

Zhou Jixing interjected lightly.

Xu Du was stabbed severely: "!!"

Zhou Jixing raised his lips and smiled, the chili dyed Zhou Jixing's lips red, he raised his hand and shook his chopsticks, a round shrimp slip was held firmly by him: "Do you want to eat?"

Xu Du lowered his face: "Don't eat!"

He stood up abruptly, the poor have no ambitions!Do you think I will stay if you say a few words!joke!Who am I, Xu Du!As if no one has eaten it!

Xu Du walked quickly to the door of the room, opened the door with a bang, paused for a moment, then turned around, Zhou Jixing was sitting there, comfortably crossing his legs, eating the shrimp slippery he bought.

Xu Du: "Little spicy chicken!"

Xu Du's house is small, and he lived alone for a long time. He never cared about the sound insulation. Until now, he is nestled in the bed, covering his head, and he can still hear the smell outside, as if he is happy like a fairy The sound of eating hot pot.

The strong smell of hot pot floated in from the living room.

Xu Du suddenly forgot the slit at the corner of his mouth, and scolded Zhou Jixing [-] times in his heart, sooner or later he would lead his [-] mud horses to trample him down!

Unbearable, Xu Du overturned the quilt, sat up, looked at the light coming through the crack of the door, and suspected that it was a kind of seduction.

Eat as much as you want, whoever is afraid of others, I paid for the money!

Xu Du lifted the quilt completely with great ambition, stepped out of the bed, opened the door, the whole piece of light was reflected in his eyes, and sat cross-legged on the carpet, walking around comfortably.

"I--"

Xu Du took a deep breath.

"I am coming!!"

There was silence everywhere, and even the sound of piano practice upstairs stopped for a while.

After a meal with chopsticks, Zhou turned his face to look at him: "Isn't it adding to the burden on the stomach?"

Xu Du: "..."

Zhou Jixing: "Do you still have kidney stones?"

Xu Du: "..."

"Can you please use your memory more in acting? No wonder people say that Lu Yanzhi is better at acting than you! He just concentrates more than you! Works harder than you!"

Xu Du let out a wild roar, which really made Zhou Jixing's face darken.

Lu Yanzhi.

It has a great impact.

Zhou Jixing's eyes were like knives, and he put it on Xu Du's neck: "Have you watched my drama?"

Xu Du didn't dare to move his neck, so he swallowed weakly: "I don't watch all kinds of dramas."

Zhou Jixing: "Keep talking."

Xu Du is now automatically playing in his mind: A new storm has appeared, how can it be stagnant~

Let the two of them go from the topic of kidney stones to a more dangerous topic, the hot pot is still steaming beautifully alone, the fish tofu and beef balls that were put in the pot before have been cooked and floated on the surface, waiting for a chopstick to come down and end their lives.

Stalemate...continue to stalemate.

"At least the one you're playing now, I don't want to watch it. The script is so bad, what can I shoot? Male one male two, female one female two are all carved out of molds? They still stay in a big white flower. In the era of lotus, makeup is used regardless of the scene, what is the difference between the filter and the live broadcast of Internet celebrities? See for yourself what is left besides white?"

Xu Du, an old man in the era who chased Xiaoyuerhuawuque from the animation city, pays attention to an era when blood is blood, loyalty is loyalty, and no drama will be made into a romantic drama or the coal boss will invest.

The drama these days might as well let him watch The Legend of the Seven Heroes, Rainbow Cat and Blue Rabbit.

While talking, he found that Zhou Jixing was silent.

Too angry to speak?

No way, the combat power is so weak.

Xu Du suddenly remembered Li Cheng's old mother's long and short sighs that day: "Lu Yanzhi is okay, mainly a few lines. It is not easy for him to transform, and he has spent a lot of effort in acting, but look at him, he is not without resources. Even good directors look down on him, and now these are not what he really wants to shoot."

Even good directors look down on him, and now these are not what he really wants to shoot...

Damn.

Xu Du carefully looked at Zhou Jixing, whether he spoke too seriously.

Just when Xu Du was thinking about whether to apologize to Zhou Jixing or something, Zhou Jixing suddenly uttered four words: "You know a fart."

In a sense, the agent and the artist have a tacit understanding.

Xu Du thought in his heart: I'm sorry!

Zhou Jixing finally stood up, still tall without shoes, and walked straight into the kitchen.

Xu Du muttered: "Don't wander around my house!"

There were miscellaneous voices in the kitchen, as if they were rummaging through things: "Tsk, garbage, hello! Do you have any wine!"

Without even thinking about it, Xu Du replied directly, "There's a fart!"

Zhou Jixing turned around, leaning half against the kitchen door, crossed his hands on his chest, and raised his eyebrows at yesterday: "That's right, he drank it and harmed people everywhere."

Xu Du: "..."

What else can you do but look down on people all day long!

Feeling ashamed, Xu Du gritted his teeth, walked under the TV with his slippers on, and found a bottle of good wine that Teacher Xu didn't dare to hide at home and temporarily put it on him in the cabinet below.

Xu Du smashed the wine bottle on the table quite proudly, raised his chin, and stared at the last few lines: "Want to drink? Call Dad to listen first."

..........

As an older young man who doesn't smoke or drink, Xu Du only knows that the bottle of Moutai his father hid in his place is a bottle of Moutai, but he can't tell the year. No matter how expensive it is, it's only a thousand dollars, so it won't make Mr. Xu angry. You have to sever the father-son relationship with him.

A bottle of Moutai from 77 is worthless when the cap is unscrewed. If I tell Teacher Xu later, I will be so angry with my own son.

Xu Du poured half a glass for Zhou Jixing, and when it was his turn, he hesitated, he knew his own drinking capacity, and if the baijiu was at its peak, he would only pour half a glass.

Just as he was hesitating, he heard a provocation from Zhou Jixing: "Thirty-year-olds, don't force yourself."

Xu Du tut, immediately poured himself a full glass.

Looking up at the gazes of the last few lines, it is straightforward to say who is afraid of whom.

Anyway, getting drunk and embarrassing is tomorrow's business.

Today's affairs are completed today, and tomorrow's affairs will be thought of tomorrow.

He took a sip first, it was so hot that his tongue hurt, he stuck out his tongue secretly, he imitated the old hand on the wine table who pretended to be serious, smashed the glass on the table, and a few drops of Moutai splashed out.

After eating for a while and drinking a few more sips of wine, Xu Du couldn't hold back his words: "Isn't he just Lu Yanzhi? Is he amazing? Did he become the actor or won some awards? As for you Will you blow up after hearing his name?"

"You know a fart." Zhou Jixing raised his hand and poured the cup to himself.

"I don't understand." Xu Du was a little dizzy. He kicked off his slippers, sat cross-legged on the sofa, and leaned back, "Who did I argue with again?"

A few days a week: "Outcome."

"Promise?" Xu Du pondered these two words in his mouth, "What is Promise? To make money?"

There is no response for several lines of the week.

Xu Du narrowed his eyes slightly: "When I was studying, I thought about my future. I don't need to earn too much money, just enough."

Zhou Jixing looked at him.

Xu Du: "After working, I realized that money is never enough."

Zhou Jixing: "Pfft."

"What are you laughing at?" Xu Du glared at him, then took the sofa pillow and threw him at him, "Don't you have any money? If you don't know, just hold back!"

"I know." Zhou Jixing took the pillow away, "Who says you don't know."

Zhou Jixing said in one gulp: "No one knows better than me."

"Hehe." With the smell of alcohol on his face, Xu Du's fair face was blushing, and the tip of his nose was sweating. He pointed at Zhou Jixing, "You bragging! What can you do! You can bragging! You can act in plays." Not good, what can you do!"

Zhou Jixing grabbed his finger and held it in the palm of his hand: "I can drive a tractor."

Xu Du: "..."

Xu Du was stunned for three seconds, then he laughed unscrupulously like a goose: "What do you think you can do?"

I don’t know what’s wrong with Zhou Jixing. It may be that the disease of childishness will become more and more serious, and it may have an advanced stage. He followed Xu Du and yelled: "I said I can drive a tractor!!!"

Xu Du raised his voice: "I heard it!!"

Zhou Jixing also followed him, and the two of them leaned side by side on the sofa, as if they were stupefied: "I can repair cars, paint and install windows, and sell roasted sweet potatoes!!"

"That's better than me." Xu Du narrowed his eyes and laughed, "I can't do anything but look at me!"

Speaking of this, Xu Du suddenly resurrected from the dead, jumped up, his feet were placed on the sofa, his body couldn't maintain a perfect balance, he swayed back and forth, Zhou Jixing raised his eyes and looked at him.

Xu Du wobbled, suddenly bent his knees, and knelt directly on Zhou Jixing's lap.

Zhou Jixing was suddenly pressed down, and he cried out in pain.

"Hey." Xu Du turned over and fell on Zhou Jixing's body, and even took off Zhou Jixing's pants with his hands, "I'll show you! Hey! No money!"

Zhou Jixing pushed and pulled him: "Go away..."

"Don't move!" Xu Du got excited and slapped Zhou Jixing directly.

A few lines of the week: "..."

Xu Du still held Zhou Jixing's trousers with one hand, and muttered in a half-drunk and half-awake state, "I want you to stay still..."

Zhou Jixing is actually not too sober, a person who satirizes Xu Du and pours a glass, himself... is not much better.

He pressed Xu Du on his hand: "You are sick!"

"No!" Xu Du sat up suddenly, he rubbed against Zhou Jixing's legs the whole time, his whole body weight was on Zhou Jixing's body, Zhou Jixing scolded, Xu Du compared one finger to Zhou Jixing's body. on the lips.

A few days a week.

Xu Du had already lowered his head, resting his forehead against Zhou Jixing's, his breath was warm and smelled of alcohol.

The eyes... are too close together, and you can almost see yourself through the other person's eyes.

Xu Du laughed, and said like this when he drank: "Never say no to a doctor."

Day of the week: "..."

Zhou Jixing was a little more sober than Xu Du, and pushed Xu Du off his body with all his strength, Xu Du fell on the carpet, screamed, and curled up again.

"Hey!" Zhou Jixing stretched his legs and kicked him on the waist, "Don't pretend to be dead, get up!"

"What are you doing up..." Xu Du faced the carpet, his voice muffled, as if he was about to fall asleep.

Zhou Jixing also seemed to be taken aback for a moment, then thought for a while with the few brain cells that could still think, and came up with an answer: "Eat hot pot!"

"I won't eat." Xu Du refused to get up, "I ate it all, I ate it with others, and I even took pictures... just for you to see..."

I have never seen this kind of person who confessed to his crime after drinking, Zhou Jixing jumped down and hit Xu Du, Xu Du cried out, Zhou Jixing put his arms around him: "Listen to me! I have the final say."

"Bah!" Xu Du slapped his face and called out, "You think you are Huang Xiaoming!"

"You don't watch my dramas when you watch variety shows!" Zhou Jixing turned over and rode up, and the two of them fought together. The facts proved that the two people's magnetic fields are not compatible, regardless of the situation, even if they have been drinking.

Probably tired from beating, Zhou Jixing let go and fell beside Xu Du, with one leg still on Xu Du's lap, as if to himself: "Forget it, I have also been on variety shows."

Xu Du hugged himself like a little daughter-in-law who had just been bullied: "If you don't look at it, you don't look at it!"

The two of them lay like this for a long time, their eyelids became heavier and heavier, when Xu Du suddenly touched his mobile phone.

Zhou Jixing strained his eyelids: "What are you doing..."

"Take a picture." Xu Du stuck out his tongue, speaking the truth, compared himself with scissors to the camera, and smirked: "Eggplant!"

After a few days of work, I realized later: "Oh..."

and fell asleep...