Brothers second and third

Chapter 32

If this world has never had me, will my uncle and aunt be healthy and happy in their old age?If there was never me in this world, would the second child marry a wife and have children?Finally relieved.

I went to the fabric market once without telling my second child, and when I saw Lele again, she had already come out of the previous marriage, and I saw that she was living a comfortable and good life.Lele saw that my complexion was not very good, she asked me: "What's the matter with such a bad complexion?"

I shook my head: "Nothing."

While busy with the work in hand, Lele looked at me: "I heard... the second mother is looking for you?"

I smiled and didn't say anything. The second child knew about it, and so did Lele.I looked around the store, and it was neater and brighter than before. There was a coat hanging on the wall. In fact, I saw it when I entered the door. It was the coat of the second child.

I asked Lele: "You really like the second child, right?"

Her eyes dodged: "What are you talking about! We...impossible, you have been with him for so many years, he won't like me. "

I touched those soft fabrics: "Did the second child's mother also look for you?"

Lele nodded hesitantly.

I said, "My second mother is right. My second child needs a woman who loves him and a normal family. I can't give you this, but you can."

Lele didn't speak.

I said, "Actually, I am very envious of you. You can be recognized by others. I have been with my second child for so many years, and no one has blessed us from the bottom of my heart."

Lele sighed: "Stop talking."

"The second child is a simple person. When you got married, he was still depressed for a long time. He had you in his heart." After attending Lele's wedding that year, the second child was in a low mood for a while.

Lele stopped what she was doing, and she looked at me seriously.

I went on to say, "If I hadn't met my second child back then, and hadn't promised to walk this path with my second child, maybe you and him are a real couple now, life is always full of variables, isn't it?"

Lele didn't speak.

I stood up and patted the woman's shoulder lightly. I was very jealous of her: "Love him well, the second child may need you more, I wish... I wish you happiness."

I always knew that Lele liked the second child.When my second mother came to see me last time, she told me that she said that it is not easy to have a woman who is still willing to marry him regardless of the past. happy.The second child's family put a lot of pressure on him, coupled with the changes in my family, the second child suffered a lot in his heart. We all suppressed our thoughts during that time, but knowing the final outcome, we still couldn't bear to let go.

The second son went to find Lele, I knew it, but he didn't tell me again, he just wanted us to spend these last days peacefully.We are like lambs in a cage waiting to be slaughtered, waiting for a knife to fall.At night, I always want to hug him to sleep, but when I think about living alone in the future, I force myself not to rely too much on my second child.Lying on the bed, with our backs to him, there is only one turning around between us, but I feel that the whole world is separated between us.

Summer in Harbin is here again, this year it came too fast too fast.

The second child was about to leave home, and we didn't sleep all night. In the early morning of August 8, my second child was lying behind me.

He said: I'm leaving.

He said: You have to live a good life in the future.

He said: Don't take a cold bath in hot weather, or you will have a headache.

He said: Tibet...we can't go together.

He said: Don't be sad, forget it.

He packed the clothes in the suitcase, arranged our toothbrushes neatly, opened the curtains on the balcony, and then I heard him walk to the door, silent for a long, long time, the door finally closed.I lay on the bed without looking back, gritted my teeth and said nothing.The moment he closed the door, the tight string in his mind finally broke.Have you ever felt heartache?The real kind of pain, if you have ever had it, you will really hear the sound of your heart breaking in your ears, and with a "snap", your whole body collapses.

I got up shivering, feeling myself trembling all over, and warned myself not to look back, but I still couldn't hold back.Trembling, he walked to the balcony and looked down. In the empty square in the early morning, the second child knelt on the ground, trembling with his head in his arms.

I finally couldn't help but fell on the balcony, my heart was torn to pieces, a voice kept saying: It's over, it's finally over...

Yeah, it's finally over!My second child and I, more than ten years in the snap of our fingers, the love in time has been wiped out.

I don't go to work, I don't know day or night, I don't even eat, I lie in bed like a dead body, I don't know the time or the date.Half asleep and half awake, I seem to hear someone knocking on the door, is it the second child?I thought to myself, how could it be him, hallucination!But it was clear that the knock on the door was louder, and it was Li Zhe who dragged his weak body to open the door.A gust of wind blew in outside the door, and I couldn't help shivering, although Harbin was already in August.Li Zhe quickly helped me sit on the sofa, his eyes were full of sadness, I smiled, I don't need anyone to pity me.

Li Zhe was busy in the kitchen, and a large bowl of noodles was brought over. I looked at the poached eggs in it, and remembered that when I was with my second child, he also liked to eat poached eggs. gas.The hot poached eggs are in front of me, but I don't have any appetite.

Li Zhe sighed: "Do you remember what happened between you and Yang Xinkun?"

I did not speak.

Li Zhe said: "At that time, you didn't go back to the dormitory all night, but you returned to the dormitory early the next morning and slept all day. I was very worried about you at the time. I wanted to say something to comfort you, but later you told me People always have to live, if they fall, get up and pat the mud, it’s nothing.”

He went on to say: "Is that what you said? What problems can you solve if you give up on yourself now? You can't solve any problems! So you have to get up and live a good life. This is life!"

I don't know if I can still get up, every trick of fate always leaves me covered in bruises, every time I get up, I am always afraid of the next fall, because I really hurt when I fall, I am very scared.

Li Zhe brought the noodles in front of me. This good brother is always by my side when I am saddest, and always gives me a hand when I am most downhearted.I don't know how to thank him, I shook his hand lightly, he patted my arm and smiled.

The warm food stimulates the esophagus, making me feel that I am still alive, I still need to eat whole grains, and I have to face life.After eating a bowl of noodles, he gained strength and came back to life.Listening to Li Zhe's voice washing the pots in the kitchen, I suddenly thought how could he know about me and my second child so quickly?I asked him, "How do you know about me and my second child?"

Li Zhe was washing the bowl in the kitchen, the water was running loudly, and he didn't answer me.When I walked to the door of the kitchen and continued to ask him, he raised his head: "Depeng, the second child is getting married."

I was a little dazed. Although I knew it would be the result, I didn't expect it to be so fast.

My voice was trembling: "With whom? Lele?"

Li Zhe didn't speak, he cleaned the pots and bowls, and then mopped the kitchen floor.Seeing me still standing at the door, he said, "You already knew."

Yes, I already knew that the second child was going to marry Lele.I heard myself asking Li Zhe: "When?"

"September [-]th."

September [-]th, long and long.

Li Zhe stayed with me for a whole day. At night, he insisted that I go back to the school staff dormitory with him to rest. I knew he was afraid that I would miss it, so I smiled and said to him: "It's okay, I still want to watch my second brother get married." Well." Li Zhe couldn't resist me, he sighed at the door and said, "Don't worry about it alone, call me when you want to talk." I nodded.After sending Li Zhe away, I fell down on the sofa, it was getting darker and darker, why is this small house so empty.The room was quiet and uncomfortable. I turned on the TV, and a cheerful voice came out. There are so many happy people in this world, but the unfortunate ones can only hide in the corner and feel sad.

September [-], showers, south wind.

This morning, I put on my suit and tied my tie several times in the mirror, but I couldn't get it right.In the past, my second child used to fight for me, but now he is someone else's groom. The fate is ridiculous, isn't it?Li Zhe called me: "Are you really going?" I said: "Yes."

The boss called me when he received the invitation from the second child. He was silent on the phone for a long time, and finally he said that he was very busy recently. He said that he might not be able to come to Harbin to attend the wedding of the second child. It has been so many years , he still hasn't learned to lie.

The fourth, fifth, and sixth children also called intermittently. They advised me to open more, and life should go on.

After getting dressed, I looked at myself in the mirror with dull eyes.I went to the bedroom and searched for a long time. I found the glasses I wore when I was a student and put them on my ears. I felt a little dizzy.At ten o'clock, Li Zhe called again, and he said, "Then... shall we go?"

Hang up the phone, lock the door, take a deep breath and step forward.

The second child's wedding was held in a hotel next to Sofia, half an hour's drive from home.I took a taxi at the gate of the community, and the driver asked me where I was going?I said Sophia, the driver was speeding all the way.When I got to Zhaolin Street, I felt that I had difficulty breathing, so I called the driver to stop, and got out of the car.I still don't have the guts to watch my second brother's wedding.

Walking and walking aimlessly, I walked to Central Avenue, remembering that we walked, played, and enjoyed street music together, and now I am the only one left, walking alone on this stone-paved street, People around me come and go, they are all smiling, so happy, I really envy them.

The phone rang many times and finally turned off automatically.I dangled in the streets until the neon lights flashed.It's getting dark, the second child wants a bridal chamber, right?We used to be so lingering, but now he is going to sleep with someone else. His eyes, his body temperature, and the scar behind his ears all belong to someone else. I have always disliked that ugly scar, but now I am so Still read.

I suddenly wanted to know what it was like to make love with a woman. When I walked to the famous street near the station, colorful neon lights flashed, enchanting and gorgeous.With wandering eyes, he walked into a hair salon, and someone came up to greet him immediately.Her skin was fair, her lips were bright red, and a large portion of her slender waist was exposed.Taking out all the money in her pocket and putting it on the table, she glanced at me and smiled brightly.Walking into a dim room, she said, would you like some wine?I nodded, and she gave me a bottle of white wine, and drank most of it.My second child used to drink when he was sad, and now I drink too, but why is he sadder?

A little dizzy, lying on the bed, she unbuttoned my belt, took off my pants, and my lower body was exposed.She has my body in her mouth, warm and moist.He rolled over and pushed her down on the bed, her bare chest was shaking under the light.Inserting, withdrawing, I didn't have any consciousness in my mind, the only thing that woke me up was the bursts of pleasure from the nerve endings in my lower body, and when I finally ejaculated, I heard whimpers coming from my throat.

Goodbye, this world, I have been here before.

Goodbye, this world, I'm leaving.