[guard]

When I woke up, it was already dawn, and I found myself lying on Yan Jiasheng's lap. I had dreamed countless times that I could sleep with him on my pillow. I was already 36 years old. This dream has come true, but it is no longer a dream. I can't help but be greedy for the feeling at the beginning, and more importantly, Xianshu's funeral needs to be dealt with.

"you're awake…"

"I…"

"I know it's hard for you to accept, things have already happened, you have to cheer up! Everything depends on you!"

That's right, rely on me, the sons rely on me, and Xianshu's funeral depends on me.

Xianshu's body was sent to the funeral home. Since I had no relatives or friends, I didn't hold a funeral. The funeral home made up Xianshu's body and sent it to the crematorium.Everything was simple, I didn't give her a gorgeous wedding, and I didn't give her a happy marriage. In the end, even the funeral was so sluggish.

When I took Xianshu's ashes home that night, my two sons cried loudly. They already understood that their mother was no longer in this world. Looking at the children, I was also very worried.Tang Zhicheng helped us cook dinner, and he left after the meal, or he wanted to give me more space and leave me alone.

At night, when my son fell asleep, I was holding Xianshu's ashes on the chair in the room and was stunned, "Xianshu, Xianshu, do you regret it? I ruined your life, why don't you hate me?" I really wanted to cry One time, I found myself without eyes

Tears, it turns out that the saddest time is when you can't squeeze out tears. This night I was silent until dawn...

After a few days, I slowly came out of the regret, and the sons were no longer clamoring for their mother like they did at the beginning.It's just that Min Bin doesn't like talking to me anymore.Taking advantage of their summer vacation, I decided to go back to Yanjiaping, take Xianshu back and bury her next to my mother's grave, maybe that is the only destination I can give her.

Buy the ticket and go home to pack up the luggage and go home with the family, yes the family will go back to their hometown.I have not been home to worship my mother for many years, which is not filial. Since Min Bin was born, I have never returned to Yanjiaping, because I have always believed that it is not my hometown, but just the place where my mother is buried.But now I find that there is really no place that belongs to me, my home, but Yanjiaping makes me feel attached, as if it is really my home.

With various complicated emotions, I dragged my two sons out of the car at Yanjiaping.For more than ten years, everything has changed. The tile-roofed houses have all become bungalows. There are even two buildings that are as well decorated as mansions in big cities. The only thing that has not changed is the large ancestral hall of the Yan family. Still that row of walls.It’s just that there are a lot of weeds and wild vines growing on the wall, and suddenly I remembered the thing that was discovered that night when I climbed the wall to steal Yan Jiasheng, and I can’t help laughing when I think of everything that happened at that time.

"Dad! Dad, what are we doing here?" Min Xing asked.

I don't know how to explain to him the purpose of this trip, but I can only say "Come back and see grandma!"

"Grandma? Are there a lot of gray hairs?"

"Well, yes, but she has gone to a far away place like your mother!"

"Then why do we come here to see her? Is mother here?"

"Well... Mom is here!"

"Mom is dead!" Min Bin yelled at Min Xing.

"Did you fall asleep?" Min Xing obviously didn't understand the meaning of death, and Min Xing couldn't answer his question.

When I returned to that house, weeds and wild flowers grew in front of the door.The kitchen on one side of the house has been in disrepair for too long and collapsed, and the rest of the place is uninhabitable. I feel cold.At that time, the place where my mother often sat and picked beans, the place where chickens were kept in captivity, and the place where she was in a daze were all incomparable.

"Father! What is this place?" Min Xing asked again.

"This is where Grandma and Dad used to live!"

"Why didn't you see grandma?"

When Min Xing said this, Min Bin immediately moved closer to me and hugged my thigh. He understood, but he was afraid.

"Oh! Grandma isn't here!" After I finished speaking, I also patted Min Bin's head, "Don't be afraid!"

It's almost evening, because it's impossible to bury Xianshu within today, and the house is already uninhabitable. I had to think about it before I came back, but I didn't think about it. In addition, I don't know the people in Yanjiaping well. Find a hotel in the city to stay temporarily.

The three of us, father and son, held big hands and small hands, and walked towards the entrance of the village holding small hands.At the entrance of the village, I saw a person, a person who destroyed my happiness - Lin Xiufeng.The world is really small, and I can meet her here.My sons all recognized her as the woman who came to our house to make a fuss on the first day of the new year, and they hid behind me in fear.

She also saw my three fathers and sons. I wanted to say hello to her, but I couldn't. It wasn't because I hated her or something, but because I didn't know what to call her. I didn't hate her at all, she saw Looking at our father and son, "Min Miao?"

"Um…"

"Why are you here? Just the three of you?" Lin Xiufeng looked at me suspiciously.

I knew what she meant, so "Brother Sheng is not with me, Xianshu has already left..."

Lin Xiufeng didn't understand the meaning of leaving, "Gone? Why didn't you keep her?"

"I mean...she's gone...I came back this time to let her die..." I looked at the cloth bag in my hand.

Lin Xiufeng was startled... She never thought about it!After she made such a fuss, my home became like this. "When did this happen?"

"A while ago……"

"I'm sorry!!" Lin Xiufeng said suddenly, possibly blaming herself.

"It's nothing... it's all over!"

"Don't you hate me for going to your house?" she asked again.

"It was there at the time, but not at all later!" I answered very directly.

"Where are you going now?"

"My old house has collapsed and there is no room for people to live in. It will be dark soon. I will go to the county to find a place to live and come back tomorrow morning."

"That would be so troublesome. Why don't you come and stay at our house first, anyway, there are plenty of rooms. She pointed to the house that was decorated like a mansion."

"It's inconvenient for me to carry this..." He raised Xianshu's ashes, because it was taboo for rural people.

"Don't be afraid, just put it in the yard!"

I didn't expect that she would live in Yanjiaping, and I didn't expect that she would let me live in her house. I suddenly found that the saying "a woman's heart is a needle in the sea" is true. You will never know what they think.

The son was tired from walking, and thought about it, since Lin Xiufeng is generous and doesn't care about past suspicions, why should I be persistent?Anyway, there may not be a car back to the county, so I might as well stay at her house and talk about it.