dance like a butterfly

I must admit, I'm feeling down again right now.

Just like my critical day came early, when I was looking at Lao Han, when I was in his arms, when I heard Lao Han gave me the most realistic answer, when I thought of Lao Zuo, and Lao Zuo Han said that when he was unhappy, one kind of thought began to rise like a tide. From an invisible distance, my endless melancholy, and my longing, all rolled in muddy, mixed with throbbing. Moved, mixed with infinite remorse.

Is it true that there are still many emotional people like me in the world, who follow their feelings in a hurry, just follow their own likes and dislikes and walk in a daze, isn't it?

If, at the very beginning, I hadn’t chatted with Lao Zuo on the Internet for my own animal desires, and made Lao Zuo fall in love with me obsessively, wouldn’t there be such troubles later?

Could it be that after breaking up with Lao Zuo and sympathizing with Lao Han, can we completely avoid such an embarrassing situation today?

Or, in the first place, all my emotions should have been dusty in the years, like Solomon's secret letter, silent indefinitely at the bottom of the sea, and shouldn't be like fluffy bread, floating in the rolling red dust at all?

I really want to treat Lao Zuo as a memoir and never open it again.However, I know that there is something called conscience that urges me to look back again and again.

I knew that I should meet Lao Han's smiling face without flinching or distracting thoughts.Because, so far, he has not deceived me, he has abandoned all distracting thoughts, and is doing his best to welcome me.

However, I clearly know that no one wants to see the current situation.This emotional struggle is really like a war. Although the smoke of gunpowder cannot be seen, in the end, someone will definitely fall, unless someone withdraws as soon as possible.

No, I have to go to Tian Zhenzhen again, I have to find ways to get this woman to fight first.I would rather let me fall first on the battlefield than let Lao Han or Lao Zuo be injured.If one of them was actually shot, I would be repeatedly condemned by my own conscience for the rest of my life.

Old Han looked at me quietly and didn't speak.In the darkness, I wasn't sure what his eyes meant, but he still held my hand tightly.

I never thought that Lao Han was stronger than me at this moment.His heart must be as turbulent as mine!The dragon boat had already turned around on the lake of Nuoda, and I heard someone stepping up the winding ladder of the boat.Immediately afterwards, a driver came up with a smile on his face, turned on the cabin lights, and yelled: "My friend, we are ready to dock, welcome to come next time!"

Glancing at Lao Han: "Brother, let's go! Today is really unforgettable for me, haha."

Old Han froze for a moment, then smiled, "It's nothing, I plan to only write down the pleasant things!"

The driver said: "Furong Garden is a good place. Good things can never be forgotten, haha."

Except for Furongyuan, Lao Han looked at me and said with a smile: "Xiaohui, I'm going to Shanxi tomorrow, what are you going to do? I have time now, why don't we go shopping?"

"Brother, I don't want to go to Shanxi anymore."

"What's the matter, brother is going with you, don't you want to go?" Lao Han was a little resentful.

"I want to be alone for a few days."

"What's the matter, what do you think?"

In fact, I want to go to Lao Zuo, Tian Zhenzhen, I don't even have the heart to travel.Although Lao Han is affectionate, but at this time, I have to sort out my thoughts, I have to talk to Lao Zuo, and talk calmly.

"No, you go with the people in the village, you think, so many people, so noisy, I'm also afraid of others gossiping." At this time, all the reasons are excuses.

"Isn't it? It's good to have more people. I just want everyone to know that I have a younger brother!" Old Han didn't mean to compromise.

"But, I really don't want to go."

"Xiaohui, you don't want to be with brother anymore?" Lao Han's expression darkened suddenly, and I saw the soreness in his eyes, like a sharp knife sawing back and forth in my heart.

I didn't speak.I know that Lao Han's heart was quickly poured with ice water.

"Xiaohui, you can't do this. You can't treat brother like this. Brother knows that you are unhappy today. You asked brother at that time, if you were really slapped in the face by Tian Zhenzhen today, would brother still want you? At that time, I wanted to tell you that I would want you. Now, no matter what happens to you, I will want you, really. But I didn’t say that because, on the one hand, I know that you really like me. , and, even if you were really splashed, it was because of my brother. My brother would never leave you alone. But you couldn’t take it anymore after hearing what my brother said. Do you think my brother won’t make you happy? ?”

Lao Han began to smoke while sitting on the white marble railing, the cigarette butts flickered very quickly, and the bluish blue smoke he exhaled hadn't stopped in front of him, and was immediately swept away by the cold wind without a trace.

I didn't speak, I didn't want to argue.If Lao Han can turn around and leave at this moment, and then go back to his former days, and never miss each other again, it may be a relief for him. Although, I like him so much, even though after losing him, maybe I will put my love on the shelf in this life.

Lao Han finished smoking that cigarette, left the cigarette butt on the ground viciously, stomped on it with the toe of his shoe, stood up, and looked at me.

I turned my head and watched the traffic on the wide street to the west, the shadow of the Big Wild Goose Pagoda in the distance, and the music of the majestic fountain in the North Square, tears streaming down my face.

How I wish that Lao Han could slap me hard on the face a few times like Tian Zhenzhen did at this moment, or use all his strength to knock me down to the ground and stomp me hard.When he was tired from the beating and vented his anger, he walked away cursing.Then, I can also do not owe each other and miss each other.

However, Lao Han just walked over, stretched his hand to my face, and wiped my tears with his warm palm.

Tears are like short-term beads, but they become more and more.

Later, Lao Han stopped wiping, and pulled me into the shade of a tree next to him, holding me in his arms.

My body began to shake and I whimpered.

When Lao Han's shoulders were wet from crying, I took out a tissue from my pocket and began to wipe away my tears and snot.

Old Han started to laugh: "I'm just wondering, Xiao Hui, why are you so lively on the bed, and have tears and snot under the bed."

Hearing this, I couldn't stop laughing.

Lao Han took out a cigarette, put it in my mouth, took out the fire, but refused to light the cigarette, took the fire, walked around in front of me with a smile and said, "I warn you, if you want to leave me next time, I also follow Tian Zhenzhen, I will use fire to burn your face!"

Going west along the Furong Garden, not far away is the Big Wild Goose Pagoda.

This 400-year-old seven-storey ancient pagoda, written by Yan Liben and Chu Suiliang, has become a landmark building in Xi'an.Ci'en Temple has also been famous in China because it has experienced the worship of feudal emperors in the past dynasties.The North Square of the Big Wild Goose Pagoda has the world's second largest musical fountain in Asia, making it a tourist attraction where tourists gather.Walking halfway, under the brilliant lights, you can see the ten-foot-tall copper sculpture of Tang Xuanzang carrying a stick against the wind.

"Brother, don't you think that what we are doing now is as difficult as Tang Monk learning scriptures?" I asked Lao Han with a smile.

"I don't think it's difficult, I think it's normal. Doesn't it mean that the more you get something after going through hardships, the more you know how to cherish it?" Old Han also smiled, and his eyes narrowed again.

While talking, my phone rang, and I glanced at Lao Han.

"Is it Lao Zuo?"

I nodded.

"Why is he still calling at this time? What does he mean?" Lao Han was a little puzzled.

Obviously, Lao Han is very concerned about Lao Zuo calling me at this time.

"Brother, Lao Zuo must have something to call now." At such a time, no matter how unwilling Lao Han was, I had to answer it. If I really want to compare Lao Zuo and Lao Han with social experience, Lao Zuo really wants to be simple. many.

Seeing Lao Han turn his back, I said, "I'm Xiaohui, what's the matter?"

Lao Zuo asked, "Did my family see you this afternoon?"

"See you."

"She threw something at you, doesn't it matter?"

"Don't you know everything? Ask."

"She's crazy, she wasn't like this before."

"If you have nothing else, I'll hang up." Lao Han was not far away, although he couldn't hear what Lao Zuo said and what I said, he could hear clearly.I don't want Lao Han to misunderstand any more. If there is a misunderstanding, explaining it may be more troublesome than not explaining it.

"Can I see you now?"

"Is there anything I can't say on the phone?".Lao Han has turned sideways slightly and glanced at me.

"Uh, let's talk on the phone." Lao Zuo was a little disappointed.

"What's the matter?" I was a little impatient.I don't know what's wrong, it seems that the impatience developed when talking with Lao Zuo has become a habit, even though I was still worried about him in my heart just now.

"My family members came back and cried a lot, then went out after receiving a call from Zhang Wenqing. I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing."

"Zhang Wenqing? How can you be sure that she is calling Zhang Wenqing? And how do you know that she must have gone to see Zhang Wenqing?" I couldn't help but raise my voice, and Lao Han turned around to see me calling.

"I feel as if my family members let me know on purpose, and I also find it very strange."

Perhaps, Tian Zhen really wanted to stimulate Lao Zuo, but what does it mean if he stimulated Lao Zuo?This woman is really strange, and she does things very strangely.

I seem to want to say something to Lao Zuo, but seeing Lao Han's serious look when I called me, and thinking of what I said not long ago, I don't want to say anything now.

"Anything else? Did I hang up?" I said, in a voice so low I could barely hear it.

"are you OK?……"

"Okay, that's it." I hung up the phone.I can almost see Lao Zuo's dazed look.Fortunately, a gust of cold wind blew over, and I shook my head.

I looked at Lao Han, and Lao Han didn't smile. He must be thinking about a lot of problems like me now.

"Zhang Wenqing has been in frequent contact with Tian Zhenzhen recently, Lao Zuo said. I don't understand why, is he playing something tricky?" I said to Lao Han.

Old Han frowned, lowered his head, clasped his hands together in a cross shape, and did not speak.

Hearing this news again, Lao Han's mentality must be very complicated.

Lao Han and Zhang Wenqing have many entangled ties.In terms of business, they are still partners, and they have always been at the forefront when it comes to Hetian Zhenzhen.Now that the two meet each other often, what does he mean?Is it really like what Lao Zuo said, plotting against Lao Zuo, or taking advantage of the opportunity to fish in troubled waters, or wanting to hold some ground against Lao Han in the future, and fight back one day?Anyway, even if you ask Zhang Wenqing now, you won't get the real answer you want to know.

This Zhang Wenqing!

Old Han should feel very troublesome.

I looked at the watch on my wrist, it was nine o'clock.The gate of Ci'en Temple was still full of people walking after dinner.Under the sculpture of Tang Sanzang in the South Square, there are children flying kites, some taking snapshots for tourists, some selling Xi'an tourist traffic maps, and red men and women leaning on shoulders and waists, making the night lively.

Here, at this moment, I feel that Lao Han is a bit lonely.

"Brother?" I called out in a low voice.

Old Han didn't hear it.

I went over and grabbed his hand.

Lao Han just raised his head and gave me a smile.

"Brother, aren't you hungry?"

I really can't find a way to release Old Han from this kind of brooding that I have never seen before.Now I don't understand many things thoroughly, and it's useless to think about it.As for Zhang Wenqing, one cannot judge by his own rhetoric, but depends on what he is doing. Anyway, this person is too familiar with Lao Han.