dance like a butterfly

☆, 249

The way Lao Han spoke didn't look like he was joking at all.

As much happiness and sweetness as there is in life, there is bound to be so much sadness and pain.

Hearing Lao Han's words, I was like a high-spirited paper kite flying leisurely into the blue sky, and then suddenly broke and fell to the ground.I love Lao Han so much, but we two men will never be able to give birth to a child belonging to the two of us, yes, never!Suddenly, I seem to come back to the same.I understand why I like children so much.It turns out that I have already been doomed to have no children in this life, the more I will not have children, the more rare I will be!

Seeing my eye circles were red, Lao Han shouted: "Xiaohui, what's wrong with you?"

I smiled faintly, "It's nothing, let's eat!"

Lao Han put down his chopsticks, took my hand, and gently stroked the back of my hand: "Xiaohui, brother, I'm sorry."

"What does it have to do with you?" Tears rushed out of my eyes, and I puffed up my chest and choked.

Old Han pulled me into his arms: "Brother is not good. If I were a girl, I would give you a lot of babies. I know you have a good heart and love children."

Despite the sadness, Lao Han's words still made me smile through tears.

"Do you think you are a childbirth machine? Give birth to a child without layers of skin, and you will give birth, and I won't let you have more births. Besides, you don't have that ability!"

It was really warm in his arms.Imagining that Lao Han is like an old mother, breastfeeding a lot of children, crying and shouting, so busy that he is so busy, I want to have fun.But at the same time, another kind of bitterness and regret that I have never had before weighed heavily on my heart like a thousand gold boulders.In this life, I can't have a child who really belongs to me.Sons are like iron, daughters are like flowers, that kind of continuation of life will never be possible again.

I still shed tears, even though I tried to hold back.

But, thinking about it the other way around, will I really be happy all my life if I have sons and daughters?There are many kinds of happiness in the world.When love harvests, I will lose a lot of things at the same time.In Lao Han's arms, I greedily picked up the warmth, and I also got the joy I dreamed of.This kind of happiness, compared to those men and women who are in groups of children, but cannot find their own love all day long, and struggle all their lives in the desert of their own love, how lucky I am!

However, I am still unwilling!Could it be that people like Lao Han and me, with such a pure and deep relationship, are destined to be despised by the world, to avoid the puzzled eyes of their relatives, and not to enjoy the blessings of family happiness?Is gay love destined to always be such a coexistence of sweetness and bitterness?

Holding him in my arms, stroking his back, rubbing my face back and forth against his face, I sought for myself a weight of balance.

Lao Han stretched out his warm slap and wiped my tears away.

"Xiaohui, brother knows. After following brother, this life has really suffered for you."

I grabbed his hand and pressed Lao Han's palm tightly to my face, my whole body trembled.

"Brother, don't say that. I'm not bitter, not at all. With you, I have no regrets in my life."

"Xiaohui, brother knows, brother knows, being with brother is very unfair to you."

There was some light in Lao Han's eyes.

"Why do you say that? Brother? Don't say that, and don't think like that."

"Xiaohui, brother is an old man, married and has his own children. And you, only in your 20s, have never tasted a woman, let alone have your own children. How much do you want Let you also taste all the benefits in this world. But bro..."

Old Han began to whimper.Tears finally rolled down from his eyes.

"elder brother……."

My heart was stirring like a knife.Before he could say anything else, I wrapped my arms around his neck, put my mouth on it, and blocked his mouth.His tears slid down and hung in the corner of his mouth.The taste is so salty, but I feel the slightest sweetness.

I have seen this tough guy cry more than once because of his feelings, but now is the first time I see Lao Han cry so emotionally in front of me, and these tears are regret and pity for me.

I don't blame Lao Han, I don't blame him.In my life, it was already destined that Lao Han would not meet me when he was young, and it was also destined that I would not marry a wife and have children before meeting him.Although I am a man, but in my heart, since the beginning of my love, I have been singing repeatedly, just like the song "Scarborough Fair" by Sarah Brightman, the goddess of moonlight:

Are you going to Scarborough Fair

Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme

Remembermetoonewholivesthere

Heonce was a true love of mine

Tell him to make mea cambric shirt

Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme

Without nosesamsnorneedlework

Then he`ll beture love of main

Tell him to find mean acre of land

Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme

Betweenthesaltwaterandtheseastrand

Then he`ll bea true love of mine

Tell him toreapitwithasickleofleather

Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme

Andgatheritallinabunchofheather

Then he`ll bea true love of mine

Under so many dark blue skies, when the brilliance of the moon falls on my desolate heart, when those invisible things stir my most sensitive nerves, when the fire of life is flickering and burning, I dream of my lover.I long for someone to go through my life powerfully, I look forward to bonding with him, I hope that I can also bring him everything he hopes for most, and I hope that my appearance can also lighten his passion for life.I was lucky, but fate made me like a mature man like Lao Han, and let us appear in the most correct place at the right time.I can still stand with Lao Han now, and we can still feel this rare but fascinating love in the world!What is there to be dissatisfied with such a good fortune as fate?I should be grateful for the love that fate has shown me. Why should Lao Han be so harsh on himself?

However, Lao Han's words at this moment are one of the most flashy memories of my life.

"Brother, don't be like this. I am very satisfied. As long as you are by my side, I can give up this world. As long as I have you, as long as you are like a father, brother, and mother, I don't want children. Without children, I will never is young."

Lao Han kissed me deeply, his tongue was so powerful.It's almost sucking me down.

After a long time, Lao Han rubbed his eyes with his palm and let me go.

"Without children, no one will take care of you."

"Brother, you are here again. When I am old, I will live with you in a nursing home. Now the facilities in the nursing home are getting better and better every day. We can play chess on the sun slope, and we can help to see the autumn leaves in summer The clear water, the blooming flowers in spring, and the endless snow in winter.”

I said with a smile, feeling that Lao Han and I were already on the way.The extreme brilliance of life bewitched me again.

Old Han bared his teeth and smiled.

"Brother knows that you really like children. It's not difficult to adopt a child now, and the procedures are easy to handle. You should adopt one, and you will feel what it's like to be a father."

"Why do you have to adopt it?" I muttered.

"No reason, just because you like children. Besides, there is an old saying in China, raising children to guard against old age, when we are too old to walk, the children will bring us tea and water. Even if they say hello, they will warm our hearts. "

I refused to follow Lao Han's train of thought.No matter what age, Lao Han is still thinking about raising children for old age.

"Have you read "Story on the Wall"?"

"Story on the Wall" is an old play.It tells the story of two brothers who are neighbors who don't want to support their old father and put the old man on the boundary wall.

Old Han laughed: "You are on the edge of your horn. How many such unfilial sons are there? It is the nature of birds for crows to feed back, and it is the same for humans."

It's impressive that Lao Han still knows how to use the word crow to feed back.

"You don't mind the gossip that people say that I will adopt a child if I don't get married?"

Lao Han pushed me away and put his hands on my shoulders: "Xiaohui, don't think like this, okay. People have to live their own lives realistically. No matter how good you do, there will always be someone who chews your tongue behind your back. The tongue is flat , the mouth is round. Whoever wants to say, let him say it. If you care too much about other people’s gossip, don’t live on your own! Listen to my brother, I will take you to see it sometime, and find a healthy and beautiful one Let's adopt the child. Then you will have something to do, and you won't be too flustered at home."

Old Han likes to make his own way too much, and I have experienced him many times.If I hadn't gotten tired of arguing with him, seeing him like this, I would have jumped three feet high again.I can't adopt, really can't, I'm not a housewife after all.One, I still have to work, and I'm only in my 20s.I can't stay at home all the time. If I have a child in the future, I will really become an out-and-out nerd. No matter whether Lao Han wants me to stop working, anyway, I can't let Lao Han support me.Second, the second sister-in-law has already said that since I plan to hang myself on the tree of Lao Han, although I don't have children of my own, Lao Han does.Haohao is so cute, besides, he hits me like that, isn't he a ready-made good boy?I treat this child as my own.As for the future, if he finds out the real relationship between me and Lao Han, he will do whatever he likes, even if he shovels me out like a pile of stinky shit, I will admit it!

I understand that Lao Han has good intentions, but he is still focused on not wanting me to suffer from the child issue.

I smiled and said, "If you must adopt him, you can just adopt Haohao to me. Don't talk about other children!"