dance like a butterfly

I have to admit that I was really selfish. I obviously didn't like Lao Zuo, but I accepted him.I was running from him all the time, there was no escape, I couldn't get through the net he cast.

I told him that I don't like him, I still want to leave, but Lao Zuo also agreed, I feel ashamed of myself.

I despise myself.

However, I don’t forget to continue to search in the sea of ​​people for the person who really fascinates me and also likes me. I have always longed for that person to live with me in another way, mysterious, exciting, but very happy, in joy Go through the whole life.

That person was Lao Han, who really came here after he had known Lao Zuo for a year.

Since my birthday, Lao Zuo's enthusiasm for me has never been higher.

I never wash my clothes myself again.He came over whenever he was free, and cleaned every piece of my dirty clothes as if they were about to be exhibited. Sometimes, I suspected that he was a fetishist. , He took my T-shirt, put it up to his nose, and sniffed it hard, like a drug addict smoking white powder.After washing, iron it and hang it neatly.

Because it was so close, he came over to cook for me when he had time.His cooking skills are really limited. When he saw me frowning when I was eating, he hurriedly smiled and took me out to eat Korean food, and often came to me with a smile and said: "Xiaohui, I just opened a restaurant when I knew a place. Many people said that there is a new specialty dish, which tastes very good.”

I am about the same height as Lao Zuo, and the day he gets his salary, I will definitely be given new clothes by him.He didn't discuss it with me at all, and now I still have a lot of clothes and shoes that I haven't worn at all in my closet.Seeing me glaring at him, he said, "For some people, money is more important than life, but for others, it's just an accumulation of numbers."

Seeing me living in a second-hand house of more than 70 square meters, he said: "Xiaohui, before the housing price has risen, do you want to buy a slightly larger house? I don't have enough money. I will pay you back. You don't have to pay back."

When I heard such words, I scolded: "You are crazy."

He said: "You let me change to a new way of life. I think this kind of life is what I have been waiting for. If you promise not to leave me for the rest of your life, I will go wherever you point. If you don't go to work, you will be fine." It's ok, brother won't make you suffer. I'll buy the house right away." He smiled playfully, possibly telling the truth.

There are still two houses in the old left hand, one is for the family to live in, and the other has been renovated and is still vacant.

Zuo really has a wife. I saw his child once. She was a little girl about ten years old. She was smart and cute. Once I was walking on the street and saw their family taking a walk.I saw it, I pretended not to see it, turned my face away, and was about to leave, but Lao Zuo called me, and when he came, his wife followed, and the little girl said to me, "Hello, Uncle."

His wife is also very pretty, and looks like the kind who has temperament. Lao Zuo told his wife, this is a soldier of mine before, and I didn't know that he was transferred to Xi'an, which is still very close to our school.

I called my sister-in-law, then smiled and said nothing.But she looked me up and down carefully: I'm really handsome, not the same as other people's handsome, I will come to my house to play in the future.In the end, when she was dragged away by Lao Zuo, she still looked back at me.

To be honest, because I don't feel very much about Lao Zuo, I feel very sorry for this woman.Alas, woman, it is really unfortunate to marry a gay woman.

The next day, Lao Zuo put his arms around me and said, "Your sister-in-law has a deep impression on you and is very nice. Come to my house sometime. It will be good for everyone to get to know each other well in the future."

I turned my face away and refused to go.

I really don't want to start imagining the future with Lao Zuo, but he is full of expectations.

With Lao Zuo, as long as he doesn't leave at night, you don't know when he will wake you up, more often, it's a feeling of being raped.Only occasionally, when I was drunk or irritable, I overturned him. At this time, I took the initiative.

However, as long as it was sex, Lao Zuo never complained, and he felt extremely happy immersed in this kind of game.

In some matters, Lao Zuo is indeed a man who keeps his word.

For example, to visit my father, if I haven't been back for a long time, he will rent a car, go to Hua County, and buy things for my brother, sister-in-law and nephew with big and small bags.The ones I bought for my dad were more elaborate and more expensive.Dad often called me and said that Lao Zuo stuffed him with money again when he left.

I had a fight with him because of this, and after the fight, he still went his own way.

During the holidays, Lao Zuo often encouraged me to travel, and he even prepared a lot of things for travel, including all the equipment for tents and rock climbing, but I dismissed them.

During the winter vacation, he stayed at my house for ten days in a daze. He said that he had no time after the new year, so he came to pay his uncle a new year and accompany everyone.The value of the things there was more than 2000 yuan.Each nephew was given 100 yuan as lucky money.At the end of the day, I forced 500 yuan into my dad, saying that I can buy whatever I want, and don’t suffer yourself when you are old.

Tomb-sweeping Day, I was away on a business trip, and he went to my mother's grave to burn paper money.

During the May Day holiday, I took my father and my brother to Yongji, Shanxi to see the Guanque Tower and Pujiu Temple.Otherwise, I don’t know which building is the next level up, and I don’t know what kind of temple the West Chamber takes place in, and it’s not very far away.

The days are really like the swings I played when I was a child, slowly swaying through patience, anxiety and waiting.

Patience, there is no way to endure Lao Zuo's attentive care.

Anxiety is about wanting to attack, but you can't stop it but you can't do anything.

Waiting, because I really want to return to myself, waiting for the person I like to appear at any time.

Until Lao Han fixed his smiling face in the cool morning breeze of Yuxiang Gate, I knew that my taste in life was about to change.

At this time, I have known Lao Zuo for a whole year.

A strange thing suddenly caught my attention.

On the third morning, when I was about to go out, I suddenly met Zhang Wenqing from the opposite door who came upstairs and made a phone call while walking.

It was not surprising that he came up from downstairs, and it was not surprising that he made a phone call while walking. However, there were two names that surprised me, because he mentioned Xueping and Lao Han.

Last time, Lao Han said that he had some contacts with Zhang Wenqing.

Zhang Wenqing and I live on the fourth floor, opposite each other.The only difference is that Zhang Wenqing's house is rented from others, while mine is a second-hand house bought.

I saw Zhang Wenqing at the door.He was on the phone, and he didn't know what the critical moment was, and he stopped suddenly, holding on to the handrail of the stairs. I only heard him say something in a low voice: "Xueping, I understand. Please tell Lao Han some relief." Let's talk." Then he turned around and hurried downstairs.

I have no intention of listening to other people's private words.However, Lao Han hasn't called me for two days. When Zhang Wenqing mentioned Lao Han now, I still perked up my ears.Even so, I still don't know what's going on.

I had to call Lao Han, seeing Zhang Wenqing panicked like that, no matter what the consequences would be, I had to make this call.

However, the person who answered the phone was a woman. I thought I had dialed the wrong number, but after a closer look, there was nothing wrong.

The other party first started to say hello, and then said: "Are you looking for Lao Han? He is sick now, if there is nothing serious, call again in two days."

It seems that the other party is eager to hang up the phone, so I am anxious; "He is sick, why is he sick? Where is he now, who are you?"

"I'm his accountant. Who are you? You have something to say, and you're busy. Do you have any major business?"

I suddenly got stuck.

I want to say that I am a friend of Lao Han, where is he now, I will go to see him.

The other party took the opportunity to hang up the phone.

For a while, I became an ant on a hot pan.

When she called again, the woman said bluntly: I have already said that there is no other major matter. I will call again in two days. It is not convenient for Lao Han to answer the phone now.

I didn't know what to do, but the phone rang, and I saw that it was Lao Han's number.

"Xiaohui? I'm your brother Han. I didn't answer your call just now. Don't worry about it. I listened to the words and felt that it was you who called. I wanted to come over and check the number. It was indeed true." He said weakly, He seemed to be a different person from the previous two days.

"Brother Han, it's me. What's the matter with you, what's the matter now?"

"It's okay, something happened to the car, and besides, your sister-in-law is gone." Lao Han's voice was very low.

"Where are you now? I'm going to see you."

"Provincial Red Cross Hospital. If you want to come, come here."