dance like a butterfly

"I need money to do a very important thing. Besides, I really don't need this house anymore." My voice was so small that only I could hear it.

"How much money do you need? I still have some money on hand. I'll give you fifty thousand or one hundred thousand?" Old Zuo became more energetic, "I hope you don't sell this house."

As he spoke, Lao Zuo stood up and paced the room slowly, his eyes full of nostalgia and sorrow.

"You don't want to be like this, brother. The human brain is not a container that can only go in and out, and some things should be forgotten! What has passed, let it go, why should you keep it in your heart? If this goes on, who will be hurt? Is it good? If you keep doing this, I will never be able to hold my head up. You should jump out of the old days. You see, sister-in-law is still waiting for you to remarry. I know, sister-in-law never really intends to divorce you If you really can't remarry your sister-in-law, you can find a new friend. The world is so big, there are many people who are younger than me, handsomer than me, and you don't necessarily live in a hopeless expectation and pain I won’t come out. Besides, I won’t ask for your money. Also, as you can see, the deposit for buying the house is still in my hand, isn’t it?”

Things are already like this, as long as Lao Zuo can turn around, I don't hesitate to say anything.Even if he doesn't want to look back, if he can wake up from this incident, even if he kills me today, these words that have been buried deep in my heart all this time, I must say them out!

Old Zuo's eyes widened. To him, my words were like the final blow that he could no longer bear.His originally black and red face turned black and red.His body shook slowly, and he wanted to say something, but he couldn't utter a word.

"you you you!"

The old left hand was raised, his lips were trembling, I thought he was going to hit me.

Well, if you are angry, you can just beat me up, the more you beat me, the more comfortable I will feel.It would be better if you could kill me today, I will never fight back.If you hit me once, a set of memorized data will be deleted from my memory hard drive.The first online chat between you and me, the night at the Wuyang Hotel that made my guts turn green, the happy words you told my dad when you went to Hua County, don’t sleep under the moon and peel the corn cobs-After the skin Woven stick chains, the way you slid back and forth while carrying sacks in the autumn rain, the way you picked up bank cards and keys in Xiyuan around the city with your waist bent, the time you spent with me for a year, block the fields for me Really that slap in the face, your hurried figure after I was injured in Hubei..., all of this will be deleted from my hard drive by you with every slap or every punch you strike. , Until the memory bank is completely emptied, I will no longer have any guilt to think of your name Lao Zuo.

If you are reluctant to fight, I will fight in front of you today, and let your old left watch. Your enthusiastic dedication will not only cause harm to yourself, but I will also sink into it and drown myself can not breath!

I closed my eyes and waited for the wind whistling around me, waiting for a kind of pain to arise from my body, and then used this pain to completely take away the pain and depression in my heart.

However, contrary to my expectations, Lao Zuo didn't hit me.

But I heard a muffled "boom" beside me, like a sack full of heavy objects falling to the floor.

I was startled and opened my eyes. I never expected that Lao Zuo fell to the floor like a mountain following the sound!

"Brother———————" I threw the plastic bag in my hand, screamed and rushed forward.

Seeing Lao Zuo fell to the ground, I screamed and rushed over.

For so long, I just cared about my own feelings. I just stubbornly believed that the feelings of Lao Zuo had brought me endless burden and depression, but I never thought about it from his perspective, let alone feel him. How to muster up the courage to carry on until today.Could it be that the bottom line he could bear really collapsed at this moment?

But do I have no problems?If I don't completely end this relationship with Lao Zuo, how can I face Lao Han in Yaxin Garden with peace of mind in the future?If I don't sell this house, how can I make up the 20 yuan?Although I have traveled all over the years, but in this city of Xi'an, besides Lao Zuo, who else can help me with the matter of selling the house?I originally thought that through Lao Zuo, he would sell the house himself, so that he would completely forget everything that happened in this house. In the future, when he thinks that I have already lived with Lao Han, he will be disheartened. Maybe find a new starting point for your emotional life after learning from the pain.But now, things backfired, and Lao Zuo fell to the ground with a crash!

There was no time to repent of the harm I had done to him, let alone scold myself for being shameful and selfish, so I hugged Lao Zuo tightly.

"Brother——, brother——, wake up!" If Lao Zuo really fell down today, then I will be the one who deserves to die and be hacked into pieces!Now that things have happened, I'm not afraid that Lao Han will be furious at me after knowing these things, and I'm even more afraid that Tian Zhenzhen will settle accounts with me.Although Lao Zuo is divorced, he still has an underage daughter. If Lao Zuo never wakes up again, his daughter will lose her father forever and will live in a shadow of pain forever!

"Brother, wake up, you dare not scare me! You know, you still have an underage child, even if sister-in-law can leave you, your child can't leave you!"

Holding Lao Zuo in my arms, I burst into tears.At this time, I didn't even know to call for help. I panicked and became bewildered.

"Brother, you are the best brother in the world, you are a good person, you can't die! As long as you can wake up, this house, my house, will not be sold!"

In my panic, I kept pulling Lao Zuo's shoulders, and I patted his face.However, Lao Zuo refused to respond as if he had passed out.I pressed my face against his chest and tried his breathing with the back of my hand.Fortunately, although he was in shock, his heartbeat and breathing were still there.

I felt a little relieved, and kept shouting: "Brother, brother, don't scare me, wake up! Let's have a good talk."

I vaguely remember who said that I want to pinch other people's acupuncture points.Where are the people?I pinched wildly at the small pit on his upper lip, and I don't know how long it took, after several deep nail marks were sunk under his nose, he finally let out a long breath and opened his eyes slightly.

Seeing me hugging him, tears rolled out of the corners of his eyes suddenly, his mouth opened, and he started to laugh.

His smile is actually uglier than crying.

"Xiaohui, is brother still alive?" For the first time in a long time, I heard Lao Zuo calling himself "brother" in front of me.After finishing speaking, he hugged me tightly, "Xiaohui, do you remember how long it has been since you hugged me tightly?"

"Alive, you are alive! You are alive," I stuttered.

However, Lao Zuo acted as if he didn’t hear my answer, rolled his eyes emptyly, and said slowly, “Brother, I know, since the first time we met, you haven’t really liked brother. To you that time, it was just A game. Yes, it’s just a game! Maybe, you had planned to never see me again after that time. But, brother treats you differently, he is a person who can do things but can’t talk. Believe it, meeting you is a kind of fate. This is the only chance God gave me in my life. There are so many men in the world, but I just fell in love with you! No, it’s not liking, it’s love! It’s love, do you know!"

Lao Zuo didn't look at me, maybe he looked at me, and he would never be able to say that for the rest of his life.

I dare not refute him, I can only bite the bullet and listen. "The power of love is like this. It can change everything about a person. I became crazy for you, because from that day on, my eyes are always on you. Whether it is sitting or lying down, night or day, I am happy all day long." Hehe. I know that from now on, I will never be without you again. The people around you and the place where you stay are the places where my heart gathers! Just like in this room, now, when I see the table, I know you I remember what kind of posture you like to watch TV with wrapped in a bath towel every time you take a bath, I know what time you want to eat most, and which song do you like to lie lazily in bed and listen to? Song, when do you like to go out to drink and karaoke. When you are happy, I am happy, and when you are frowning, I am also sad. However, I never feel tired. No matter cooking or washing for you, I am very happy. Be practical, I only hope that this kind of life will last forever! Because I know that only when I am with you, I will feel that life is the most excessive!"

I don't know why Lao Zuo didn't hesitate to use the title of "brother" today.However, his downfall today made me dare not do anything to stimulate him anymore.

"Brother's comradery complex that was deeply buried in my heart was ignited in this way. I can no longer go back to the old days. I may be crazy. I have to divorce! Although I understand that in your heart, you would rather Accept Lao Han. However, this does not conflict with brother liking you and loving you. Brother knows that in this lifetime, brother will never forget to like you and take care of you.

"Brother can slowly endure this kind of time of waiting for you alone, maybe there is really no hope, but how can you tell me to find someone else? Who are you as a brother? Is it as easy as you imagined to be a brother? Speaking of which, if you think about it, will you still wait until today? If you really plan to forget about you, you will accept your fate, and you will only be one for the rest of your life. People have passed."

After all, Lao Zuo's tears flowed from the corners of his eyes to his cheeks, along his neck, and into his collar like broken beads.

However, his hand stroking my back was so hard.

At this moment, I really hesitated.Since the first time I met Lao Zuo, I was very displeased with his flickering eyes.He wore sunglasses, which gave me a sneaky, evasive vibe.It was this feeling that made me desperately find reasons not to like him in him later.When we met for the first time, everyone had impure motives, which made me even more reluctant to think about a long-term relationship with him.Later, his hospitality and his strong offensive made me gradually intensify my rebellious psychology towards him.The way he looked at me made me want to escape even more, and the tenderness he showed all the time made me feel that he was not manly enough.Although he has a tower-like figure and a very strong physique.The way he looked at me made me want to escape even more.It can only be said that the contact with him was at an inappropriate time, and we were standing in an inappropriate place at the same time.

However, since I got to know Lao Han and made friends with him, I really realized Lao Zuo's infatuation and selflessness.He endured so much pain, silently swallowing his sorrow and bitterness, and even divorced for me, making himself step by step into a helpless predicament.However, even if I find out that he is so good, I can't turn back!I don't have the avatar technique, so I can't split myself in half for Lao Han, and give the other half for Lao Zuo.If you say committing a crime, what am I doing if I am not committing a crime!

Besides, love is specific.Especially for me, although I have experienced the relationship with Guo Jingqi, but that relationship was my first love at that time, and no other factors were mixed in it.However, when I fell in love with Lao Han deeply and couldn't extricate myself, Lao Zuo's infatuation now made me feel valuable for the first time!

"But, brother, what do you want me to do now? What can I do?" I asked Lao Zuo, and I also asked myself.

Lao Zuo let me go, his eyes that were angry and restless just now suddenly became hesitant, he looked at me, and didn't know how to answer.

"You should go to Lao Han, because brother knows that a twisted melon is not sweet. Even if brother can keep you, he can't keep your heart!" Lao Zuo's tone is very gentle, it can be seen, When he said this, how determined he was.

"Do you really think so?", I can hardly believe my ears, even if I know today, why bother?

"Xiaohui, tell me, what else can I do?" There was another flame in Lao Zuo's eyes, but the fire was far less scorching than before. "Brother always thought that as long as I stick to the thought of missing you, as long as I keep looking forward to you, one day you will come back to my side, and we can resume the happy days before, and be more carefree and unscrupulous than before. , brother will treat you even better. But, what about now? You are not even going to leave this last bit of thought to brother, so brother can only let go. "

"Then, what are you going to do in the future?", Lao Zuo said such words, it was beyond my expectation.What I have been looking forward to is what Lao Zuo said today?But, I don't know why, when Lao Zuo really said such words to me, my heart was empty?Instead of the kind of joy that got one's wish?Why am I not as excited as I imagined, but a heavy pain?

I really don't understand, the old Zuo in front of me now, this solid man, this person who was so infatuated with me who was finally going to let me go home, now it seems that he is so lovely, this makes me a little bit Nostalgia!