dance like a butterfly

"Xiaohui, how can I ask brother to answer your question?"

Lao Han put my hand in his palm and rubbed it gently.

I looked at him, expecting him to give me an answer.

"It's like the uncle forcing you to get married, just like when you asked your brother in the Tang Paradise Garden, would he like you if you were really disfigured, these questions made people feel very uncomfortable at first glance! However, after thinking about it later, we are not ostriches, and we have to live without facing the facts. Each of these questions is a severe test of our relationship! Each of them will be related to whether we can live a lifetime. As long as we are a little discouraged, As long as we are a little timid in the face of pressure, as long as we have the slightest distrust of each other, we will immediately part ways! Now, brother also has a question for you!"

Old Han stared straight into my eyes, although he was full of sincerity, he seemed to be looking into my heart: "Will you go back and love a woman?"

"No!", I was categorical, and I had no way out.

"Lao Zuo is also a very good person, will you love Lao Zuo?"

"Even if I can treat him as my own brother, I won't love him like I love you! That's brotherhood, not love."

This is my truest thought right now.

However, what does Lao Han's question have anything to do with the question I asked him?

"Among Lao Zuo and me, why did you choose me?"

"Brother, do you want me to dig out my heart so that you can trust me? It's not a matter of choice. Don't always be so obsessed with Lao Zuo's affairs, so that you don't look like a brother, but like a My brother. Don't always make me suffer from splint gas, I'm your lover now!"

Hearing what I said, Lao Han blushed.

I slowed down and cleared my somewhat dry throat: "Before I met you, I had never really met anyone who made me so tempted. My association with Lao Zuo at that time was just the result of my impulsiveness. Now I regret it unceasingly. I ruined Lao Zuo! Let a person I don’t love pay so much for me, and the emotional debt I owe him will never be repaid!

Since I have said so much today, I will say more of what is in my heart. Originally, I wanted to let it rot in my stomach.I even thought that if we can be reborn as adults in the next life, we will truly be husband and wife, no matter who is male and who is female.Comrade, this road is really too difficult!

If I can't be entrusted to be reincarnated as a human being, I will be entrusted to be reborn in Lao Zuo's family, and I will pay off the favor I owe him in this life.Lao Zuo is a good man, a rare good man.However, from the very beginning, I thought his personality and temper were not suitable for me.He can be a good brother, but he can't be my lover, let alone be with him for life.It's just that I was so lucky that I could make him wait for me, make him pay so much to me, and cause me so much trouble.I can't even tell if it's my luck or my bad luck.

What saddens me the most now is that one of my own mistakes actually caused a family to break up and let a child live in a single-parent family.At that time, I couldn't accept Lao Zuo emotionally. There was another reason. At the beginning, I didn't believe that Lao Zuo would bring me more pure love. I didn't want to share my lover with a woman!I don't want him to divorce either! "

The old man said well, it is better to demolish ten temples than destroy one family.

"Old Zuo is divorced now, he is still waiting for you!" Lao Han seemed to be a little bit unwilling to give up.

"However, that is beyond my control. I think only you can make our relationship go further! You are so strong! I think only you can make me stronger to deal with all the difficult problems in the future! "

I don't know why, at this point, tears began to glisten in my eyes again.

Yes, how abnormal it is for a man to have love for a man! (I don’t know if there are really advanced beings ruling everything in the world in the space on the plateau that we can’t see. However, for thousands of years, so many sages have worshiped the gods, I would rather believe it or not No!) ​​I don’t know if the Buddha really allowed same-sex love to exist in the world, but, in reality, in this ancient capital that has been infected by feudal culture for thousands of years, facing the word “homosexual” , People regard it as a scourge, everyone despises it, everyone casts it aside, and always regards it as a category with AIDS, sexually transmitted diseases and garbage.

In other respects, we are all very good people, but when it comes to this personal emotional issue, we still live in a heavy shadow.Weak water is three thousand, and it is difficult for us to drink a scoop.Surrounded by undercurrents, full of discrimination.It is impossible for us to stand up and tell everyone around us that we are gay, and it is impossible to flaunt these three words as a golden signboard.

We can be indifferent, but we still have relatives, they can't accept being poked in the back, and can't accept other people's eyes and spittle stars.

When a person comes into this world, he must be worthy of his parents and friends and be responsible to them.Because of this, we have been cowering like turtles, huddled in the shadows and crevices.

However, I also clearly know that I not only have to be responsible to others, but also to be worthy of myself!I can't walk around this world in a daze, marry someone I don't like against my will, and live my whole life.

Same-sex love is the snow lotus on the cliff. To me, it is extremely beautiful, even though it grows on the precipitous cliff, despite the thunder and lightning, despite the bitter wind and rain, but we fall in love, and I will pick it.

It's better to retreat to the hut and make a net than to envy fish in Linyuan. I don't want to suffer myself for the rest of my life, and neither does Lao Han!

Lao Han lowered his head, changed the hand that was stroking me to interlace my fingers, and held it tightly.I understand, this time he believed me.

But after going around in such a big circle, Lao Han hasn't answered my question yet!

"Brother, although it is unfair for me to ask you like this, we are prepared!", I still look forward to Lao Han, hoping to get a reassurance in some way.

"Xiaohui, there is one thing you must remember: as long as you still love my brother, I will never give up on you! Many things are caused by you with your plans and mine. It will be straight to the end of the bridge! As long as you and brother have the same heart, as long as this heart remains unchanged, there will be no hurdles we can't overcome, no mountains we can't climb! When the time comes to see the specific situation, I believe there will be a way."

Hearing what Lao Han said, although my heart was a little flustered, it was much warmer.

I know that there are many things and many problems, and I shouldn't think too much about them at first. Although I have to have confidence in my heart, I often end up going up the mountain to collect firewood, cross the river and take off my shoes?It's not yet when to say anything!We didn't have to bear too much burden in our hearts.If you think too much, you will lose a lot of fun in life, and life will be really impossible.

As long as Lao Han and I remain in love with each other, won't everything be solved?

As long as we love each other, what else is it?

"Then, we take one step at a time? Is this the only way?"

I can not be reconciled.

"That's the way it is right now. Haha, what else do you want? Do you want my brother and you to get the red book? Brother also thinks, but there is no place to get it! Besides, with the changes in people's thinking, maybe wait It is possible for the children to understand and not object. After all, they are all receiving higher education, maybe this is our dream, but we will just wait for that day!"

Lao Han held me in his arms and pierced my chest with his beard.

Lao Han's words gave me hope again, and my heart warmed up.The difference from my father’s forced marriage is that Lao Han’s children are all in the period of education, society is constantly improving, and different ideas and concepts are constantly changing people’s perspectives on relationships. against us being together!

As soon as he turned over, he pressed Old Han under him.

This man is mine, mine alone!Since we love so deeply and work so hard, I will cherish every moment of having him as our last possession!Living like this day after day, year after year is not in vain for us to love each other, there is no guarantee that we will not be able to live until the day when we are all white!

"Brother, if I move here to live in Yaxin Garden, where do you live?"

"Brother also decorated a house opposite your door, just to show off. We will live in the same house at night!"

"Do you eat together too?"

"Of course!"

"A bed to sleep at night?"

"Gua, do you still need to ask?"

"Do you do that tonight?"

"Which one?"

Lao Han asked the question knowingly!