blue marshmallow

A shrill siren woke me up. When I opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was a sky full of stars. Why did I see stars in my eyes? I blinked twice, and the stars were still there, only to realize that I was facing the sky Lying on the ground, I leaned slightly and wanted to sit up. There was a sharp pain, and my head was dizzy. I remembered the scene before I passed out. Oh, thank God I am not dead yet!

The sound of the police siren has gone away, so no one found me, I turned my head to look, and found myself lying in a pool of blood, watching my blood flow all over the ground, my eyes were straightened, and my head started to buzz, I learned in physiology class that an adult has about [-] milliliters of blood, and it is estimated that I have lost one-third of it, which means that I am about to die. It seems that they left me here after I passed out. I fend for myself.

I gritted my teeth and raised my hand to feel my belly. When I touched the inserted wine bottle, my hand felt sticky. My blood coagulation function was already poor.

I'd better call for help. I struggled to touch the phone, thinking about what to say, and suddenly froze, where am I?I don't even know where I am, how can they save me?Besides, I have already shed so much blood, can I still be saved?No matter, it's important to call first, I looked at the phone in my hand dumbfounded, and turned it off when it ran out of power!

I smiled wryly, looking at the vast night sky, is it all God's will?Giving up the unnecessary struggle, just lying quietly, experiencing the passing of life bit by bit, thoughts that I usually don't pay attention to pass by incomparably clearly.

When I used to farm in the mountains, in spring and summer, at night, I would climb to the hills in the backyard and lie down

Looking at the stars in the sky on the grass, I plan to call Ergou next door to get some corn to roast and eat, then dig out a bird's nest, catch a few cicadas, and take a bath in the mountain stream... , How beautiful the days were in those days!

I feel that my breathing is getting harder and harder, my eyelids are getting heavier, and I can no longer feel the cold on my body. It seems that I really have to go this time. When I wake up, it’s just a flashback. God has mercy on me and let me take another look at Infinity Nostalgic world, just give me some time to deal with the unfinished fate.

I miss him so much, it's strange, when I'm about to die, shouldn't it be my parents and relatives that I should miss most?Why do I miss Ah Zheng so much?

When I think of Ah Zheng, I seem to be invigorated. From the beginning of the meeting on the escalator, to when he said that he wanted to pursue me, and then to the fact that we came together, the true, true happiness unfolded in front of my eyes like a scroll. It is so happy!

But I lost him, my happiness was lost by myself, tears slid down the corners of my eyes, temples and ears, but I smiled. I used to be very afraid of death, but now I am not afraid anymore. In my short life, I once had I have a beautiful love, what else do I have to regret?

Will he have any regrets when I leave?Thinking of this, my heart trembled, what did I give him when we were together?

Does he know the feelings that he deliberately hides because he has been worried that he is not the same kind?Knowing that he has a family and will leave me one day sooner or later will make me feel a little hard in my heart. Does he know this difficulty?The more he loves me, the less sure I am about the future, so helpless like drowning, does he know?I haven't told him for a long time, but every day before falling asleep and when I wake up in the morning, I will silently say "I love you" countless times in my heart, does he know?

No, he doesn't know, he only knows that he gave 100% sincerity, but I repay him with cold derailment, he tolerates and tolerates again and again, but I treat him with a cynical attitude, what I give him is always It's hurt, so how can it be love?

I started to sob uncontrollably, I don’t want him to misunderstand me for the rest of my life, I don’t want him to not know my feelings for him after I die, I don’t want that stubborn stubbornness anymore, I want him to know that I love him , I can only love him in this life!

A flash of inspiration flashed across my mind, and I fumbled in my pocket. The phone he gave me was turned off after I left, but I kept it with me all the time. When I missed him, I took it out and touched it twice. I actually forgot, now I look at the screen and pray to God, there must be electricity, I want to tell him loudly, I love him!

I really didn't have the strength to hold the phone, so I put it on the ground as close to my ear as possible. I only saved one number in my phone. Listening to the ringtone from the phone, "I love you the most. Why do you want me to be sad..." My tears couldn't stop falling again, Ah Zheng, is this your heartfelt voice?I'm sorry, I'm here, I'm here to apologize to you, please forgive me!

"Beep beep..." The sound of the phone being hung up broke all my expectations and hopes, and also took away a breath of true energy that I forced myself to raise. , Ah Zheng, why didn't you answer the phone, you should know that it is my number, are you so indifferent that you don't want to hear my last voice in this world?Did I hurt you so much that you didn't even want to give me a chance to apologize and explain?Ah Zheng, please, answer the phone!

With trembling fingers, I redialed the past, "The phone you dialed has been turned off," and my heart fell into the dark abyss, falling continuously, empty and bottomless.

My chest was stuffy, I coughed hard, my mouth was salty, and the liquid from the corner of my mouth caused a numbness and itching. Just kidding, I deserve to lose Ah Zheng, I deserve this way of death, I deserve it!

I close my eyes and relax slowly. If I die, I will die. If I have regrets, I will regret it. My Ah Q spirit can make me feel better before I die. I grin and keep smiling. I hope I can have a handsome man after death Expression, I don't want to make the person who found my body feel too scary, I don't know which unlucky ghost will bump into me tomorrow.

My lips felt the vibration, and my whole body shook like an electric shock. A phone call came, Ah Zheng called me. I don’t know how many times a person can return to the light before he dies. Anyway, I can do it twice!

"A Zheng, is that you?" I couldn't wait to ask, although my voice was weak, it was clear enough.

There was no sound on the other end of the phone, so I put my ears closer to listen carefully, and I heard Ah Zheng's breathing, deep and long, "Zheng, Zheng," I closed my eyes and called him softly, imagining that he was right next to me. In front of me, "I love you, I love you, I love you very much," I wish I could call you more times, but I don't have time, and I heard his breathing become a little short on the other end of the phone.

My tears flowed, must have wet the screen of the mobile phone, I hope it can also wet your heart, wash away the hurt I have brought to you, and also wash away the helplessness and uncertainty I left you, Let you no longer doubt love in your future life, "I have not betrayed you, I have never betrayed you before, and I will never do so in the future. I hope you and Ah Hang are happy."

After talking so much in one breath, I was so tired that I was shaking, and my breath was confused, and his anxious call came from my ear, "Xiaoxiang, my phone ran out of battery just now, what's the matter with you, where are you? Tell me Me, what happened?"

I smiled and turned my head to look at the night sky, enough, he will still be nervous about me and miss me, that's enough!

The black night suddenly turned blue and clear, just like the sky I used to look up to when I was a child, with snow-white clouds floating one after another. I was so happy that I murmured intermittently, "Ah Zheng, look , look quickly, in the sky, there are, many, many, cotton candy..."