miss [rebirth]

When Fang Zhizhu first appeared in front of Zhou Haizhen's house, it was also a muggy night.

Zhou Haizhen told her, come in and have a cup of tea. Fang Zhizhu took off his mask and asked him with a smile if he could have an ice cream.

Fang Zhizhu is really good-looking, when the eyebrows and eyes are curved, it will set off the scenery behind it like a movie.

Zhou Haizhen took her into the room and brought her ice cream. Fang Zhizhu opened it up and ate it bit by bit. He sat on a chair in the center of the consultation room with a relaxed posture.

Generally, such patients are difficult to deal with.

Not to mention a popular artist.

Zhou Haizhen was ready to encounter difficulties, but Fang Zhizhu didn't embarrass him at all.

She calmly narrated her illness, explained the general situation of her previous treatment, and then said to Zhou Haizhen: "I need a place to rest."

Zhou Haizhen understood.

For a long time afterwards, Fang Zhizhu came to rest with him.

Fang Zhizhu doesn't like to talk about specific things, nor does he like to talk about his feelings.Most of the time, I just talk about the pictures I saw: the first flower tree blooming in the field in spring, a painting given to her by a fan, and the lights on the stage were too bright, so the stage was completely dark.

The time of her visit is uncertain, but she always makes an appointment in advance, but sometimes it is a week in advance, and sometimes it is only ten minutes in advance.

When Zhou Haizhen is not at home, she will sit alone for a while.Zhou Haizhen will ask her wife to help her get some snacks that she likes. Fang Zhizhu doesn’t have the airs of a celebrity, and obviously doesn’t need a professional doctor. She eats snacks, chats with her wife, and leaves the same Will pay the consultation fee.

Emotions gradually revealed, it was after three or four years of acquaintance.

Fang Zhizhu's life has undergone some changes. She began to talk more with Zhou Haizhen, often laughing, but suddenly froze.

After staying for five or six minutes, I lowered my eyes to look at the beads on my hand. The beads are decorations on my clothes. I used my slender fingers to move them one by one, and then pull them back one by one.

Zhou Haizhen asked her, "What were you thinking just now?"

Fang Zhishu said: "I feel very happy."

Zhou Haizhen smiled: "Is it just happy?"

Fang Zhizhu turned his head: "Be happy."

Knowing that she has a good lover, Zhou Haizhen asked Fang Zhizhu: "Do you still feel sleepy now?"

Fang Zhizhu said frankly: "Yes, otherwise I won't come."

Zhou Haizhen asked her if she wanted to try hypnosis, but Fang Zhizhu refused. She said, "I don't believe it. If I don't believe it, I can't do hypnosis."

What she said was reasonable, but Zhou Haizhen didn't write "do not believe in hypnosis" in the medical book, he wrote "fear of hypnosis".

Later, when Zhou Haizhen was out on errands, Fang Zhizhu went to the consultation room first.

Probably because she was too tired from work, when Zhou Haizhen returned to the consultation room, she saw her lying on the sofa and fell asleep.

Zhou Haizhen didn't go in again, he watched Fang Zhizhu quietly through the glass door of the consulting room.

Fang Zhi didn't sleep for a long time, she woke up by herself, took a deep breath as if suffocated for a long time, and her chest was still heaving violently when she opened her eyes.

Zhou Haizhen pushed the door open and handed her a glass of warm water.

Fang Zhizhu said: "The red house."

Zhou Haizhen asked, "What kind of red house?"

Fang Zhi wrote: "Red house built of bricks, with a steeple, and a small star on the top."

"What else?"

"Wall, creeper."

"What does a creeper look like?"

"It's a huge area, covered in summer and bare in winter."

"Where are you?"

Fang Zhi laughed. She lowered her head to drink, and then raised her eyes and said to Zhou Haizhen: "Doctor Zhou, you're trying to trick me again."

Zhou Haizhen: "This is my job. I have taken your money and will always do something for you."

"I'm inside the fence." Fang Zhizhu said, "This is the place where I lived when I was a child, I often dream about it."

Zhou Haizhen: "Have you had frequent dreams recently?"

Fang Zhizhu: "Yes, it's been a little frequent recently."

Later, Fang Zhizhu also told Zhou Haizhen many of his dreams, and Zhou Haizhen recorded them one by one, but he did not rush to take any radical measures. Psychotherapy is like this. Many times you have to follow the rhythm of the patient. Treatment didn't help.

Fang Zhizhu's career is developing very well, Zhou Haizhen often sees her advertisements, and also goes to the cinema to watch her movies.

Later, Fang Zhizhu didn't come to the consultation room for a long time, and Zhou Haizhen received a notice from the police asking him to assist in the investigation.

On the day she came out of the police station, Zhou Haizhen closed all the windows and stayed in the dark consulting room by herself, thinking for a long time.

Like Chen Nian, he felt that he was very responsible for Fang Zhizhu's death. Chen Nian didn't know, but he knew, but he didn't do anything.

Chen Nian came to him again and again

Every time Zhou Haizhen sees Chen Nian's face, she has to go to her own psychological supervision again.

Now, Fang Zhizhuo has been away for ten years, and he has finally decided to retire himself, and when he faces Chen Nian again, he always feels a little relieved.

He had a lot of chats with Chen Nian, which surprised even himself. In this conversation, he did not stand from the perspective of a psychologist, but really regarded the two of them as friends.

Chen Nian's mood was very stable, except for the trembling when he first entered the door.

When she sat on the sofa where Fang Zhizhu had sat, she calmed down, smiling occasionally, which was inexplicably similar to Fang Zhizhu in Zhou Haizhen's mind.

Except for leaving, what Fang Zhizhu brings to those around him is mostly happiness, and very little pain.

So talking about Fang Zhizhu, when the two parted, it was not a painful expression.

Chen Nian returned home late at night.

There was thunder on the road, and when she opened the door of the house, the torrential rain poured down, turning the outside of the French windows into a white world.

There is a photo of Fang Zhizhu on the porch. The decoration of this room has never changed, and it is still the same as when Fang Zhizhu left.

Chen Nian opened the backpack, took out the notebook that he had just recorded, and went to the study.

She began to search Fang Zhizhu's dreams, and the information revealed in those dreams.

There was another world, a world that Fang Zhizhu was unwilling to open for Chen Nian.

A brick red house with a steeple and a little star on top.

The walls covered with ivy, a city with four distinct seasons.

Inside the wall, there is a small Fang Zhishu looking out all the time, with mottled green paint on the window sills.

The light from the computer reflected Chen Nian's face, from darkness to dawn.

The lights in the house are of no real use anymore, and the sun is shining outside, and the heat is scorching.

Chen Nian came out of the study, opened the balcony door, and stood in the sun.

They have very large balconies, which were once paved with cobblestone paths and filled with flowers.

It was midsummer now, but there was nothing on it, so Chen Nian walked barefoot to the place where Fang Zhizhu jumped off, and looked down.

The city was noisy and full of traffic, but Chen Nian only saw red houses with spires and little stars on the spires.

She suddenly started laughing, and she thought it was funny how fate had arranged the two of them to be like this.

The red house is not as far away as a dream. It is on the edge of the city where Chen Nian grew up. It is an old school converted from an abandoned school.

orphanage.

But it was dismantled long ago, it stood in Fang Zhizhu's dream, at the end of time, Chen Nian could no longer see her beloved girl inside.

Chen Nian closed his eyes, feeling dizzy for a while.

When I opened my eyes again, the sweltering heat surrounding my body disappeared, and the wind blew on my face, which was cold and cool.

Chen Nian tried his best to distinguish the things in front of him, and made sure that he was in a Chinese class for children.

Another gust of cold wind blew in, and the little boy sitting by the window sneezed. The teacher called him on the podium in Mandarin with a strong dialect accent: "Wang Xiaoming, close the window!"

Sniffing his nose, Wang Xiaoming whispered, "Report to the teacher, I'm hot."

The teacher got off the podium and touched Wang Xiaoming's forehead. Many students followed suit and stood up. Their heads were like swallows looking at the excitement in one direction.

Chen Nian also stood up, and she saw her small hands and feet, and the soft ponytails sweeping across her cheeks.

Chen Nian frowned, she grabbed the arm of her deskmate, and when she spoke, she heard her childish voice: "What's my name?"

The deskmate stared at her, and answered her in a confused and dumbfounded way: "Chen Nian."

Chen Nian: "What grade are we in?"

At the same table: "Class [-], Grade [-]."

Chen Nian: "..."

The deskmate began to recite: "My school is Beisiwan Primary School, and my home address is Anliang City..."

Chen Nian pulled back the seat and rushed out.

Wang Xiaoming had a fever, and before the teacher had time to deal with it, he heard shouts in the classroom.

"Chen Nian has run away!"

"Teacher, Chen Nian is running away!!!"

The teacher turned around and only saw Chen Nian running out of the classroom.

"Ah, Chen Nian, why are you running away!" "Squad leader, go after him! Don't chase the monitor, the monitor goes to the next classroom and calls Teacher Li!" "Wang Xiaoming, follow me to the school infirmary, ah, monitor, let Teacher Li take Wang Xiaoming to the school infirmary." !" "Chen Nian, why are you running—!"

The quiet campus suddenly boiled.

The Chinese teacher ran out of the classroom, staggered on the stairs, and almost threw himself out.

When she left the teaching building, Chen Nian was far away from her by more than half of the middle courtyard, so she could only point to the dean who had just come out of the office ahead and shout: "Chasing people! Chasing people! The students ran away!! !"

So there was a group of people far behind Chen Nian's buttocks, but who

No one expected how a child who barely reached his waist could run so fast.

Her two legs were swung like hot wheels. She had a clear goal and rushed straight out without even looking back.

She dodged the person who blocked her in front, rushed to the school gate, shrank from the crack of the door and got out.

The noisy old world came to her.

This is a memory that is engraved in your head without deliberately recalling it.

There are always dirt-filled streets, low-slung stationery stores, and snack tricycles spreading out from the school gate.

Chen Nian couldn't care less about missing, and didn't have time to think about it, her legs didn't stop, as if she had been holding back for ten years, and finally she could vent her heart at this moment.

She walked through the path on the west side and came to North Street. As long as she ran along North Street, she could reach the orphanage and see the red house.

The heart was beating violently in the chest, and the cold wind was blowing on the face like a knife.

Running is not a comfortable thing, but Chen Nian feels happy.

The long-lost hopeful joy.

The scenery faded away, and the surrounding became quieter and quieter.

In [-], there was a large area of ​​farmland in the suburbs of Anliang, and the winter was bleak, with only cold fog.

Chen Nian couldn't run as fast as she had just started, but she was still running.

With this body and this soul, the fastest speed that can be produced.

She finally saw the pointed red house and the rusty stars on the red house.

She stopped running, circled the star, and found the angle in Fang Zhizhu's dream.

Chen Nian turned around, climbed up the pile of bricks, and climbed up the wall covered with dead vines.

She didn't dare to breathe, she didn't even dare to blink, she tried her best to search in all the pictures.

Finally, she saw Fang Zhizhu.

The little Fang Zhizhu, wearing a crumpled cotton-padded jacket, with long seaweed-like hair hanging around, stared blankly at her with those beautiful eyes in the dilapidated gray building, in the mottled green window lattice. .