our psalms

Walking on the path you choose, even if you have doubts and unwillingness, you should not regret it.As I once thought, falling in love with this person, as long as he feels good, it doesn't matter anyway.Thinking of this, my mood calmed down surprisingly.Standing in front of the window of the ward, I slowly poured the powder and granules on the paper, swallowed them all at once, and drank it with plain water in one gulp, because the speed was so fast that I choked my tears.When I turned my head inadvertently, I saw Uncle He in a white coat standing at the door watching me. He had been watching me silently for a long time.

I smiled at him, but my smile is not easy to be noticed by anyone at this time. Uncle He's complexion is ugly, with arrogance and anxiety on his face, there are only a few teardrops hanging on it.For someone as strong as him, it might not be suitable for crying.

"Where's your dad?" He walked into the ward and asked, "I want to talk to him, and you..."

"He... has something to do now." I lowered my head and said, "It's the same to tell me anything."

"Is that so..." He sat by my bed, raised his head, but revealed a sad and hesitant look. "Although you are still young, Zicheng, there are some things you must know."

Looking at his serious look, I can feel that he must have something important to tell me.I walked over and sat next to him, looked at him puzzled and said, "What's the matter?"

"Have you ever thought about what is the biggest foundation of everything in this world, whether it is happy or sad?"

"What is it?"

"It's life!" Uncle He frowned, "Before you do anything, have you ever thought about what is more important than life?" As Uncle He spoke, his expression became agitated, and suddenly In the meantime, I found out that this strong man also shed tears.He cried, and two lines of hot tears poured out of his eyes, "From the first time I saw you, I knew that you were a very special child, and I still can't understand what all this is. Why, even the relationship between a man and a woman cannot reach this level!" He cried even harder as he spoke, and he deliberately turned his head around so that no one outside could see him at this moment Such a decadent look, although I can't understand what makes him feel so strongly confused.

"Son... there is one thing you must know..."

……

The matter of Lao Cao is much more complicated than I imagined. Perhaps I understood this truth from the beginning, but I have always only been willing to stubbornly believe that some beautiful things must be beautiful, and they must remain unchanged.Even now, I still believe so firmly.Seeing him walk in dejectedly, I lay on the bed without saying a word.

"Have you taken your medicine?" he asked.I smiled and nodded, calmly as if nothing had happened.But he doesn't think so. Based on his understanding of me, he firmly believes that my heart must have started to turmoil at this moment, and I have already begun to feel miserable.

"You know, a person can't really be that perfect in his life." When he spoke, he didn't dare to look me in the eyes. "Uncle is no longer perfect in your heart, is he?"

"No!" My answer surprised him, "You are still my favorite uncle in my life." I reached out and held his hand, so cold and trembling.

"Cheng'er, no matter what, you must take good care of your illness. You can blame and hate uncle, but you must never make things difficult for yourself, you know?" Lao Cao lowered his head and gently stroked my skin His forehead was wrapped in a bandage, and his eyes were shining brightly.

"Uncle... did you really love me?" I asked suddenly, this seems to be the lowest and least problematic question between him and me. "Or, do you just treat me like a baby?"

"What are you talking about?" Lao Cao looked surprised, "Of course I love you, not just the relationship between father and son. It's been so long, and you haven't seen it yet."

"You love me..." I said, "If you love me, don't make yourself sad, do whatever you want, okay, don't... give up because of me." This time, he saw me staring at me There were tears in his eyes.

"What's wrong with you, Cheng'er, are you still angry?" Lao Cao looked very anxious, "Can't you see that this is what Wenxi's mother found out? I admit that I may have done many, many wrong things , because of many, many different environments and people, but, do you understand, I am true to you, child!"

After hearing what he said, I couldn't help but turned my back to him, and tears kept pouring out of my eyes.

"I'm just afraid, I'm afraid I'll make you unhappy..." I choked up and said, "I've always been very careful and caring, but I'm so scared, I don't know what you want to do , without any pain, without any sorrow, and live happily and happily."

"What's the matter with you, why do you say such things?" Lao Cao finally shed tears of emotion, he hugged me tightly from behind, "The happiness that uncle wants is you!"

At this moment, I can no longer smile happily, how I hope, answering so forcefully and affirmatively, it’s not true, I hope he is a person who can’t be worse, don’t treat me so well, don’t Leave me alone.But the moment I shed tears, I realized that I couldn't break free from such a broad and warm embrace.

The autumn wind blows off the last leaf of this season, and another cold winter comes quietly.I began to think about how many other springs, summers, autumns and winters belonged to me. I saw He Shuyi standing motionless in front of my bed, like a solid rock that never wavered.He gently removed every piece of bandage wrapped around my body. Every time he moved, I could feel his fingers trembling weakly.

"Uncle He, where's my dad? Didn't he say he's coming to pick me up today?" Uncle He looked at me, his face twitching slightly, "He called, he has something to do at work, and he'll be here later." After Uncle He finished speaking , continue his work.

Looking at the cloth belt that was removed from my body, which was covered with red blood and blue viscous liquid, I couldn't help feeling scared.

But I don't want Uncle He to see my fear at all. I promised him that I will face everything bravely.

"Thank you for helping me keep it secret without telling him!" I said softly, "Thank you Uncle He!"

"How long do you think you can keep it a secret?" Uncle He said, "Why do you have to bear the pain alone, he is your uncle!"

"He is also the person I love the most, and I don't want him to suffer at all!"

"Then what are you going to do? You will only make him suffer more, won't you?"

I looked at the ceiling with blank eyes, "Maybe I can't change it, I just hope he will forget me before I leave."