our psalms

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"It can't be like this!" Kuang Li, who was sitting on a chair in the dining room, stood up and shouted, "You should tell your uncle that he is a policeman, and he will let the bad guys get the punishment they deserve!"

"You don't understand!" I sighed. "You can't do that! You must not let anyone know that I'm back!"

"Why not, you should go find your family, go to the hospital, and heal your face!"

"Then you won't help me!" I put down the chopsticks in my hand, "It seems that even you despise me!"

"No!" She said, tears flowed again, "You don't understand, no matter what you become, I will never dislike you!"

"Really, then do as I tell you!"

"You're breaking the law!"

"I do not care!"

"What's the use of that, it's meaningless at all!"

"Are you only saying to help or not?"

The atmosphere calmed down, she looked at me with blurred and lost eyes, but after a while, she still looked at me with a smile and nodded.

I didn't look back, and quickly disappeared on the bus platform with the few dollars that Kuang Li gave me in my hand.Kuang Li stood far away, tears blurred her eyes again.

Zicheng, what's wrong with you...

The wind is blowing, and the tender grass in the mountains is swaying gently. I came to this cemetery full of death, looking for the traces of my old friends. Xiaodong, are you also full of sorrow for my experience, or are you secretly holding my hand? You laughed at me, blaming me for not listening to your advice.

Brother Cheng...the world is not as simple as you imagine...

I recalled his innocent smiling face over and over again, but I couldn't imagine how he saw the world so thoroughly at that time.What kind of heart is it, after enduring so much suffering and torture, it can still support and show such a flawless smile.I caressed Xiaodong's tombstone lightly. In the photo, he looked at me with a smile, but at this moment, I couldn't cooperate with him to smile calmly.

"Xiaodong, brother Cheng came to see you, I don't know if you still recognize me." I gently placed the flowers I bought in front of his tombstone, and slowly squatted down.On the desolate mountain, the cool wind blows slowly on my face, blowing away the tears from the corners of my eyes.

"Until now, I still don't understand what it is that can keep me alive until now. At the beginning, you abandoned everything just for the safety of Lao Xie, and I don't understand why until now, I still can't be like you. Everything is so insignificant, I am very angry, hatred has buried everything, I just want to take back everything that belongs to me, including Lao Cao, but I am very confused, I can't tell if I am just for him, or for..." I wiped the tears on my face and choked up for a while, and continued, "I am like this now, will he still love me as much as before, or will he just pity me and pretend that Hao doesn't care, I can't imagine, I would rather I don’t want the latter even if I die. You know, I’ve never been in such a mess before, I... I swear, I will give back ten times the person who brought me all this!!!” My eyes shot out Unprecedented murderous look, looking at the photo on Xiaodong's tombstone, that smile instantly became so distorted and uneasy.

"You're right, if you complain, you have revenge!" A hoarse voice came from behind me.I turned around subconsciously, and saw a middle-aged man in a black jacket walking out, with a knife scar on his face.I recognized him at a glance, it was none other than Uncle Jiang who used to do anything for Xiaodong and ruined Xie's family.

"You are quite conscientious, you know how to come back to see your old friend..." He smiled contemptuously, and looked at my face carefully, "Tsk tsk tsk...it has become like this, but I still won't forget that if I hadn't Because of you, I will not make this kind of land, even my most beloved Xiaodong is lost!" He said, his face darkened, and he grabbed my collar, as if he was going to kill me. It's the same as eating it.

He must have been hiding here for a long time before I came here, and he also heard what I said to Xiaodong.

"What do you want?"

"Guess what, I want to go back to my Xiaodong!"

"Your Xiaodong?" I looked at him contemptuously, "He never loved you, even if you killed me!"

"Then what if I raped you?" He smiled obscenely.

"If you're still interested, I'd be happy to accompany you!" I intentionally exposed a large part of my face covered by my hair for him to see, which was something that even I felt terrible about.He never expected that I would say such a thing, he was very surprised, and at the same time pressed me hard onto the grass!

"You think I don't dare, don't think I'll let it go if you become like this, you are still the Prince Cheng!" He said angrily, "If it wasn't for you, Xiaodong changed, he wouldn't be so slutty, Now all the people involved are gone!!!" When I saw that there were wet marks on the corners of this tough man's eyes, I was speechless for a moment.Everything is right and wrong, there is a lot of disturbance, no one can explain it clearly, I smiled at him weakly, what is there for me now that is worthy of others' anger, what is there for others to cry in front of me, this The former number one evil boss actually showed such a cowardly side in front of me. I really have no reason not to believe how deeply he loves Xiaodong.

I pushed him away, but he didn't resist.He leaned back a few steps and stared at me like a child who has had his toy stolen.

"What do you think, he is dead, even if he is not dead, he is not in love with you, but that taxi driver, Lao Xie, don't you understand?" I never thought that I would still have the mood to persuade others . "You accept your fate and live well. It is very dangerous for you to appear here now. What should you do if you are discovered by the police? You will still have a chance to meet someone you like and love more in the future, won't you?"

"No, you don't understand how important Xiaodong is in my heart. I admit that I have played with countless boys, but I can't forget the one who was pressed down by me. It was the first time someone showed me so much. The eyes of stubborn resistance, he is desperately trying not to let me get close, but he can't beat me, every time he can't beat me, but every time he begs me hard not to touch him... Please, I have never been beaten by anyone He was touched by only one person, except for that child, and he would not hesitate to do that for that taxi driver..." Old Xie said, his tear-ridden face filled with endless sadness. "At that time, I thought, if this child belongs to me, what else can I ask for in this life? But, it seems that I can get everything, but I can't get him alone."

"There are no rules and reasons for this, isn't there? There is no reason and no way to change liking someone or not liking someone!"

"No!!! Why did he end up like that for you in the end? Is there love between you? It's impossible!!!"

"There is not only love in this world, don't you understand?"

"Shut up!" he yelled, "now you are the only one who has some relationship with Xiaodong, I love him, he is gone, he can't come back, now, I want to get you, you want to stay with me forever , to be his substitute!!!"

"What!!? You're crazy!"