our psalms

What is it that holds me, hatred, that putting all the suffering I have been through on another person, whoever he is, will I be free?This is not as simple as the evil spirit's revenge and the salvation of the soul.I'm just intoxicated in endless thoughts, thinking about the shadow I love over and over again.

Telling Uncle Tian that I don't want to go back is a lie.I don't want what happened to me to be a burden to such a simple, kind, good man.In fact, how I longed to return to that familiar embrace, listen to Lao Cao's thick and kind voice, how I wished I could touch his face and say I love him again.But I am still very scared, now I am no longer the prince Cheng I used to be, not only the appearance has changed, but also this weather-beaten heart is no longer pure and childish.I was afraid to hear him say: You have grown up, you should have your own life.

Uncle, are you also looking into the distance now, missing me from the past?

"It's time to go back to the house and go to bed, brother!" Uncle Tian came over and put the tattered and old fur coat on me, and this may be the most precious thing in his small house.I looked at him gratefully and smiled, and helped him into the cabin.

"It may rain tonight, I'll go to the roof to mend the tiles!" As soon as he entered the house, he wanted to go out again.I grabbed him and said, "It's so late, can't you see it?"

"It's okay, my roof knows where the tiles are with my eyes closed!" He insisted on going up.I really can't get over this old farmer with a bad temper.As if anything, if he decides, it won't change.This is somewhat similar to Lao Cao, but I am not sure whether Lao Cao will become hesitant after seeing me again.

The wind was blowing from far away. I sat on the edge of the kang and heard the movement of Uncle Tian on the roof. My heart was always hanging, and I was deeply afraid that he would slip down from it.Sure enough, after a while, I heard a loud noise, and then Uncle Tian roared, and the voice instantly shifted from the roof to the window.

Fortunately, the outside is full of mud and grass, I rushed outside following the sound and helped him up from the ground.He also looked at me with a smile and said, "You bastard, I'm getting old, I can't do it!"

"You didn't fall, let me see where you hurt?"

He covered his hip with one hand and pushed me away with the other. "Nothing, really nothing!"

"Let me see!" I said worriedly.

"Well, there's nothing to see!" He said shyly.I knew he must have hurt his butt, and this time I didn't let him go, I helped him into the house and sat on the bed, and found some herbs for treating bruises, which was what he taught me. He used a lot of this medicine when he rescued me from the mountain forest years ago.I followed his usual way, put the herbs in my mouth and chewed them, and when they were completely melted, I started to tell him to take off his pants.

He refused to live or die.

"Then do it yourself!" I gave him the medicine.

He nodded, but looked at me with embarrassment on his face.

"What are you afraid of? Aren't they all men!"

"I……"

"what?"

"Little brother." He said, holding tightly the ball of herbs that I chewed, "I can treat everyone with care, except you!"

"why?"

"I don't know why!" He sighed, "Maybe it's because I've never met a woman before, even if I'm a woman, I've never thought about it that way, even if others think it's too expensive!"

"What exactly do you want to say?" My eyes shifted from him to other places, and I think I have guessed some of his meaning now.

"I still remember that night, when you just woke up, you hugged uncle tightly..."

"Stop it!" I suddenly yelled!I don't even know why I suddenly became so angry.

Uncle Tian looked at me indifferently, and his voice stopped abruptly. "sorry……"

"Hurry up and apply the medicine!" I controlled my emotions and ran out the door.

I have been counting the time, how long can the life of Lao Cao last.A day, a year, or a lifetime.I am not me anymore, but I am still the one who loves Lao Cao!It has been one year, five months and three days, and every night, I will use the most pious voice in my heart to beg the God I look up to, let me see him again, even if it is just a glance!

A few days later, it is the annual day when the residents of the village collectively carry large frames of medicinal herbs to a town far and far away to sell them.On this day, Uncle Tian unexpectedly appeared in front of those medicine farmers.

This seems to be the most bizarre thing they have seen in their life. Uncle Tian is carrying herbs and leading me on the way to the town.But none of them wanted to talk too much, although it looked weird, but the only thing they wanted was to carry the things on their shoulders to the town and exchange them for money to buy some needed things back.But this is not easy, this difficult and dangerous road has to go over mountains and ridges, and it will take at least ten days to get there The accident made the only chance to find a job this year lost.Even if you lose your life.

Uncle Tian has never been so persistent, and he has never felt that doing such a thing is meaningful.But this time, for me, he embarked on a path that he has almost never embarked on.

These people don't care about lying on the grass at night with a child crying softly on the other side.

I don't know why, under the vast night, the stars are so close to me, which one can be seen by Lao Cao.The longing has not ended for a second, and the deeper and deeper sorrow will only make myself cry because of excessive depression.

Uncle Tian patted me on the shoulder and asked softly, "Are you homesick again?"

I don't want to say more, I don't like to let others see myself so vulnerable.No matter how hard I tried to hide it, I couldn't pretend to be in front of Uncle Tian, ​​who I've been with for more than a year.

"It won't be long before you will be able to see your father!" He comforted me.

"No, I don't know how to repay you!" I couldn't help but said, "If I can go back, I will definitely come back to see you again!"

"Stupid boy, what are you looking at? You've been suffering here for a year. I can't believe that you, a kid from the city, can live here for so long. What are you going to do when you come back? Live well with your father. After that Marry a daughter-in-law so that I can be happy too!"

"No, I will definitely come back!"

"As long as you're happy, you can do whatever you want!" He was perfunctory. In fact, he thought that if he could really get out of here, it would be almost impossible to come back.