star chaser poem

-From the perspective of poetry-

Doorbell rang.

At this time, Xiang Shi was watching a movie in the room blowing on the air conditioner.

The image projected on the wall was still a cult movie, and he didn't respond at all to those bloody scenes with restricted ratings. There was even a bowl of strawberries drenched in condensed milk on the small table at hand.

His parents are not here today, he is alone.

Since the beginning of the summer vacation, the doorbell at home has not rang so frequently, so Xiang Shi was a little surprised and couldn't figure out who it was.

He hit the pause button, wiped his hands with a tissue, and ran out to answer the door.

"Aunt Luo?"

The person standing outside the door was actually Fu Jing's mother.

Seeing her holding a big cardboard box in her arms, Xiang Shi hurriedly stepped forward to help, took the box and put it on the ground.

Fu Jing's parents are very busy at work and often travel with the project at home and abroad, so they are rarely seen.

In fact, Xiang Shi always felt that it would be more reasonable for the two of them to switch their family environments.

He is a good student educated by workaholic parents, while he is a spoiled young master in a warm family.

Luo Xian in Xiang Shi's memory has always had short hair and professional suits, so now suddenly seeing her wearing ordinary home clothes, she feels a little uncomfortable.

"Aren't you planning to move recently? I'm packing my luggage these days."

She propped her back on her back, her untrimmed hair fell from the corner of her forehead, and she looked like she was suffering from a headache.

"Jingjing is not here. I don't know if many things are his or yours, so I put them all in this box. You pick and choose, and Auntie will come and get them later."

Xiang Shi nodded silently and said nothing.

He even heard about the move from Bai Ru after the exam, but it doesn't matter anymore.

"If there's anything you want here, just take it away, you're welcome."

As he said that, the other party suddenly winked at him mischievously, "What's his is yours, take more, I won't tell him."

Perhaps in the past Xiang Shi would have smiled when he heard such a kind joke, but now all he can do is purse his lips symbolically.

wrong.

He is him and I am me.

He closed the door and returned to the room with the heavy cardboard box in his arms.

There are two bean bag sofas side by side in the room, Xiang Shi walked to one of them and sat down.

The other next to it, when there are no guests, will put big fluffy cushions in it, as if a chubby person is sitting and watching a movie with him.

The box was full of sundries, and he picked out everything.

They did share a lot.

Books, when opened, the one with the villain painted on it belonged to him, and the one with only writing on it belonged to him.

The records are all his.

Calculators are their own.

The word cards are his.

Xiang Shi even found some unexpected old things from the past, such as disposable film cameras, binoculars, watches forgot to change the battery, and the metal school badge pinned to his chest... He knows the origin of almost everything, just like his own things like that.

He casually picked up a silver mirror cube.

Since it has not been restored, the cuboids of different sizes are randomly branched, looking scattered, and the unfolded appearance is reminiscent of artificial satellites floating in the universe.

This strange-shaped Rubik's Cube was obtained by accident when they went out for dinner.

Although the store I want to go to is very famous, it does not accept reservations, so the waiting time is very long.

The store put several Rubik's Cubes on the tables in the waiting area for everyone to relieve their boredom, saying that those who turn out can get small gifts.

Anyway, idle is idle, they sat side by side, each picked up one and began to study, but Fu Jing raised her hand and surrendered after turning around a few times, saying that I should leave it to you, and when you turn out, please give me a small gift ,Thanks.

Xiang Shi didn't understand why she was so competitive with a toy at that time.

Fu Jing couldn't stay still, so she ran to the surrounding shopping malls to wander around, but he really sat there all the time, not even knowing how long time had passed.

When that person finally came back, his eyes lit up when he saw the restored cube.

He raised his arms and said solemnly: Let the teacher see which kid is so smart.

Then they went to the clerk together, only to find that the so-called gift was exactly the same new Rubik's Cube.

Fu Jing's devastated expression was very interesting. Seeing that he was unhappy, Xiang Shi felt very happy, so she opened the box, twisted the Rubik's Cube into a mess on purpose, and said: I gave it to you, remember to restore it to its original shape.

The result is still not restored.

After turning around aimlessly twice, he thought about it and gave up, maintaining the original shape of the Rubik's Cube, and threw it back into the box.

Xiang Shi continued to find out the next thing, what is it this time? CD?

Facing the unrecognizable CD in front of him, he couldn't help but examine it carefully.

It should be the kind of blank DVD sold in convenience stores. On the white disc is Fu Jing's handwriting, with three words written in black marker: To Xiang Shi.

……what.

During this time, he ordered himself not to think too much, and try to focus on external things instead of focusing on inner emotions.

But it turns out that turning a blind eye cannot fundamentally solve the contradictions, and the problems he escaped will always come back to him again and again in another way.

Xiang Shi's first reaction was not to watch it.

After all, human instinct is to avoid things that cause pain as much as possible.

But instead of leaving the DVD in the carton, he took it out separately and put it on the table.

When it was finally sorted out, the various sundries that had been stuffed upside down in the cardboard box had been neatly arranged, like an orderly city entrenched in a square space.

Afterwards, Xiang Shi stood up and picked up a round glass bottle that was also singled out.

He took off the hanging tag hanging on the top, threw it into the trash can, and then walked straight to the bathroom.

The faucet was turned up to the maximum, and Xiang Shi took a last look at the white sediment floating in the liquid, then unscrewed the cap expressionlessly, dumped the bottle, poured out all the solution in the bottle, and washed it away.

The surface of the ceramic sink was luminous, and there was nothing left except for the remaining water marks.

He raised his head and looked at his face in the mirror.

It's okay, my complexion is much better than before.

Now, what Xiang Shi is holding is a dripping empty bottle, because of the lack of content, even the stars on the glass bottle look much dimmer.

It was originally Bai Ru's stuff, so he found a paper towel to dry off the water, and put it back on the dressing table.

She can throw it away if she wants to, and keep it if she doesn't want to. It has nothing to do with me.

Recalling how he painstakingly searched for materials and even sacrificed his lunch time to do experiments, he felt an uncontrollable emptiness in his heart; The memory of time really no longer exists.

Perhaps what was thrown away was not only the crystal clear chemical products, but also those past events that only the person concerned knew, as well as the impurity-free intentions that he harbored at that time.

After doing this, Xiang Shi felt that she was ready.So I turned off the half-played movie, found the optical drive, and pushed the DVD into it.

Turn on the play key.

The strawberries on the low table hadn't been touched since just now.

For some reason, he could still eat with gusto when faced with the nerve-stimulating horror scenes in the movie, but now he has no appetite at all, as if a wooden plug has been embedded in his throat, and a dry and decaying breath keeps gushing out.

An image appeared on the wall.

The first thing that catches the eye is the crowded audience, and the empty stage deep in the camera.

Xiang Shi frowned unconsciously.

Just when he could almost imagine what he would see next, those misty phantoms suddenly escaped from his mind, and landed on the light and shadow intertwined wall just like that.

At the end of the audience's line of sight, colorful figures appeared one after another.

But he turned his head directly and turned off the projector without any hesitation.

The optical drive was still spinning rapidly, making a humming noise.Xiangshi pressed the button and took out the slightly hot DVD.

He held that thin disc like a helpless blade, just holding it in his hand so easily, his skin was cut to pieces, and blood flowed from his hands.

"Kacha" - with the tightening of the elbow, the murder weapon that was biting him broke into two easily.

The broken disc was stuffed back into the plastic case, and the place where his name was written was split open by an ugly crack.

He stuffed the DVD into the bottom bottom of the case.

I've seen it, but I'm not going to forgive you.

After packing everything, there were two boxes piled up at Xiang Shi's feet, one was given to him by Luo Xian, and the other was sorted out by him on the spot - stuffed with the sundries Fu Jing left with him.

Looking at the two distinct cardboard boxes, Xiang Shi suddenly felt that those mediocre troubles had also been sorted out.

He first picked up the box that Luo Xian brought, perhaps because the extra things were thrown away, the box actually became much lighter.

I took all the things you left with me; and I don't need any more things you left me.

August.

Since Xiang Shi was about to leave, the family frequently welcomed various relatives.

He was most afraid of meeting people with children. Those uncles and aunts insisted on letting them follow him, asking his brother how to get into a good university, which made him extremely annoyed.

Another visitor came to visit that afternoon, and Bai Ru asked him to ride a bicycle to a big supermarket a little far away to help with shopping. As if Xiang Shi had been pardoned, he left the child and rushed out of the house as if fleeing for his life.

While riding his bicycle, he was thinking about the progress of packing his luggage, and when he casually passed by an inconspicuous building, he suddenly stopped abruptly.

poster.

The huge poster, which is almost as big as the store's facade, arrogantly occupies the entire wall, blatantly announcing where it is.

There are five people on the screen, standing side by side in a row. The background color of the portraits is bright white, and gradually transitions to rich black at the edges.

The four people on the left and right sides all stared straight ahead, only the one standing in the center tilted his head slightly to the left, with a look of disdain for everything in his expression.

His face, hidden in the semi-dark light, can see the distinct Adam's apple, the corner of the arrogant mouth, and the complicated and expensive necklace hanging around his neck.

Her hair was long and curled. Although the outline of the facial features still retained a little childishness, her eyes looked very indifferent, exuding an indescribable sense of alienation.

The pupils that reflect the speckled highlights are like the inorganic glass eyeballs in the eye sockets of a doll, solidified hollowly.

His eyes stared at his own direction without emotion, but Xiang Shi knew that he did not see himself in his eyes.

I looked up and glanced at the signboard of this store, which read: Titan Queen.

Stretching out his hand, he lightly flicked his forehead hidden under the black hair, "Asshole."

After that, Xiang Shi pushed the bicycle and passed by that strange and delicate face.It seemed that what he passed was just a wall that could be seen everywhere, a billboard that was forgotten in the city, a blurred face of a stranger.

Turning in from the path on the side of the store, he went around to the back door.

Sure enough, there is a parking garage.

In the corner against the wall are vending machines, a vertical ash column, a bench with peeling paint, and a door marked "StaffOnly."

No one is empty.

He stood alone in this small and secluded space. Even though it was his first time here, he did not feel strange. Maybe it was because people he was familiar with often appeared here, or maybe it was because he had imagined himself coming here. Here's what it looks like.

Waiting at the door, holding a large bouquet of flowers in his hand, he walked forward with a smile on his face, and said proactively, "I need to work harder when I go over there, and I will go to Wu City to see you after the holiday—even without waiting for the holiday, he will try his best to find you." Create an opportunity and secretly surprise him.

They would still go home together that evening.According to his appearance, he should not be able to sleep, and would wake up excitedly until dawn.

On the next morning, I would take him to the station, buy a platform ticket, and watch him get on the train.

Maybe he will cry, but he definitely won't be like in the movie, crying stupidly while chasing the train and running non-stop. If he can't hold back his tears, he would rather turn his back so that he won't see him.

It should be like this.

But it doesn't matter if the reality doesn't turn out to be as perfect as the ideal.

After all, I just can't accept it now, and I don't want to accept it at all-then wait until I regain my courage, and then face it.

Before that, become an adult who can be completely independent in all aspects.

I don't want to indulge in the past, in the mood of depression, in the cage of a person alone.

Summer is here again.

Xiang Shi's bicycle basket was stuffed with a bunch of shopping bags from the supermarket, and a corner of the coffee-colored packaging was exposed from the open mouth of the bag.

From now on, the papico in the refrigerator can only be eaten by me alone.

Forget it, never buy it again.

The author has something to say:

The picture of the Rubik's Cube was posted on Weibo (@我有一个糖球cake).