Stubborn illness

I didn't have this thought if I didn't check. After checking, the days when I waited for the result, I felt a lot more apprehension and worry, panic and confusion.

On the second Friday, I received a message from Dr. Chen: Congratulations, everything is normal!

I put my palms together and raise them to the center of my eyebrows, Amitabha, yes!Self-serving made a gesture of victory.

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I still go to the park.

Once, on the wall of the toilet on the side of the road outside, I saw someone writing with a red watercolor pen: Prohibition of homosexuality in the toilet, and was found to be fined 1000 yuan.In the lower right corner, it says: Notice from the Public Security Bureau, and at the next point, the words "disturb civilization" are written in coy and ugly handwriting.

I took a picture with my mobile phone, and two sentences suddenly appeared in my mind: "Twisted, chirping, obscuring or not loving? Kindness and kindness!" Shaking my head, raising my step, pulling the corners of my mouth, I smiled uncomfortably civilization.

Going past again, those handwritings have disappeared, and the whole toilet, inside and out, has a brand new look, and the wall covered with white tiles looks extraordinarily bright and clean.

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The moat at the entrance of Zhongshan Park has become cleaner and more beautiful with government investment.

The slender, tall and thin old man who was waiting by the guardrail of the moat became more and more shriveled and dimmed. The age spots on his face were clearly visible, and his eyes seemed dull and confused. I could often see him standing there, looking straight at him. In the direction of the toilet under the bridge.

I still remember, remember clearly, it was the afternoon of March 2010, 3, in this place, this person, we,...,

"Where are you from? Where do you work? What's your last name? Leave a phone number, please? Leave a phone number, please?"

He must have long since forgotten me.

I dare not think too much, after N years, will I be like him?

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I went to the park again, there were not many people, but there were still in every toilet. There was a middle-aged man who rode a bicycle and chased me three toilets in a row.

There is also a man in his 50s who followed me to the bathroom several times in a row. He didn't know that during this period of time, this whole year, dragging this sick body, I didn't come to play, just Come and see.

In the toilet by the bridge, I saw two very good ones, at least well-dressed, wearing famous watches and brand-name underwear. They should have met each other. Waist, stand, lift trousers, toss for a long time.

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I haven’t been there for a few months, but I went again today. The road by the river in Zhongshan Park has been repaired and opened to traffic. There are still so many comrades in the public toilet by the river looking for like-minded people, so I became a spectator.

I saw another pair today, both of them have round heads and big ears, big shoulders and round waists, and their looks are not bad. They have met eyes. The squatting ones pulled up their trousers and winked, and they came out in pairs and left side by side.

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"Eh, is that you?"

"Hey, hello."

"Where do you work now?"

"I'm still in the same place, how about you?"

"I'm coming over to Dali, in Yanfeng."

"Thank you, hehe, you actually recognized me."

"I saw you in there just now, I think I've seen you somewhere before, I came out and took a closer look before I remembered."

"Will you still go to that clubhouse in Guangzhou?"

"They moved to another place, in Fangcun, far away, rarely go there, how about you?"

"I haven't been there, I haven't been there for more than a year, and I haven't called. I don't know if they are still open."

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Suddenly remembered an English sentence: How small the worlddis!The world is actually really small!This person is the "driver" I met in a gay bathroom in Guangzhou. At that time, he ignored me because I was not his type.After a year or two, we meet again in this kind of place, and he can recognize me!

Internet, we are like dust traveling through the tunnel of time and space

In the clubhouse, we are like ancient apes resting in the cave on the top of the mountain.

Park, we are like a bunch of wretched, scruffy, spotted hyenas.

What is it that drives us to keep searching?what is it then?

Think of the pictures seen in the animal world. Every year, wild animals migrate back and forth between the Masai Mara National Park in Kenya and the Galengeti National Park in Tanzania. In order to forage, a group of wildebeests cross the Mara River in Africa. I don't care about the soaring torrent and the sniping of the crocodile, and I don't care about the towering embankment and the crowded crowd, although every step I take is so frightening!

Turning sideways, and looking in the direction of the toilet, I suddenly remembered Gao Zi's words: Food and sex are also sex!

To this day, I still often feel lonely, but I no longer feel lonely because there are so many people like me.

That Saturday, I went to Zhongshan Park again. There were many people in the park, and it was very lively, like a festival, because there were arm wrestling competitions and free physical examinations for middle-aged and elderly people.

There are still quite a few comrades lingering around the public toilets, and you can tell at a glance that those who look straight at people are extremely hungry, those who blink and tease their eyes are very hungry, and those who take the initiative Those who strike up a conversation and make jokes are those who come here often.

Desire is like a Gu worm jumping out of the Gu cup held by Miss Ah Zi in "The Eight Parts of the Dragon".

The comrades who linger in every toilet, in the process of walking and shuttling, they can be arrogant and defiant, or they may humbly flatter their faces and bow their knees, just because they meet or fancy.

I turned around a lot, and there were also people with the same eyes. In the toilet, they took them out and showed me their favor. There were two or three middle-aged people, and one of them was a bit attractive, but I didn't have the heart, but I didn't have the time.

In most cases, I don't know how to play, I'm just a kind, a bystander, I am willing to plunge into their world, I understand their feelings better, because I am also one of them.

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During the treatment period, the most watched one was "Interview with Yang Lan". In one episode, I saw "Dancing in Yunnan". When I saw Yang Liping, I fell in love with Yang Liping immediately, just like she fell in love with the song "The Moon Rests, Can't Rest" .That feeling, I can’t put it into words, it’s like my eyes are lit up in an instant, it’s like my nerves are activated in an instant. Next, I searched for all the free videos related to her. I don’t chase stars, but I love her very much. .

"Some people's life is to pass on the family line, some are to enjoy, some are to experience, and some are to watch. I am a spectator of life. I came to the world to watch how a tree grows, how the river flows, how the white clouds float, and the nectar How to condense."

In fact, I am really sorry to quote Teacher Yang’s quotations here, but I hope it will not be tarnished!