A glance at the city-Star essay

There was a lot of laughter during the meal, and when it was over, the food on the table was spilled on the floor, and several people were drunk under the table. After the people present went home, Bai also planned to call The assistant drove over to pick her up. As soon as she left the door, she saw a car parked in front of her. Qin Qin smiled faintly through the car window:

"Xiaoran, I'll see you off." Said gently but could not be refuted, Bairan was silent for a moment, then nodded.

After getting into the car, Bai Ran thought that Qin Qin would definitely take some offensive action. She was simulating various scenarios and countermeasures in her mind, but after waiting for a long time, she saw that Qin Qin didn't seem to want to speak.

On a June night, the stars were twinkling and the lights were brightly lit. Bairan felt that the space in the car was terribly small, filled with some wonderful things that almost spread into Bairan's heart. The window sill slapped the stiff face, and the hair was blown behind his head. Bai Ran took a deep breath, and finally felt the dangerous atmosphere in the car dissipated, and Qin Qin's voice was next to his ear:

"What? Are you motion sick?"

Bairan turned her head to look at him, her hair kept patting her cheek, feeling a little painful, she shook her head:

"No, the smell from the banquet is too strong."

Qin Qin sniffed subconsciously:

"Fortunately, I didn't smell it, but your nose is very sensitive."

"Ha ha."

Bairan smiled awkwardly, not knowing whether it was an unintentional remark or a temptation, the car was moving extremely fast, and when viewed from the side, there were various neon lights flickering behind it, and everything around it seemed unreal at an extremely fast speed, Only Qin Qin's face was clear. After a moment of silence, Qin Qin suddenly asked:

"Did you hear that?"

Sure enough, Bairan's heart skipped a beat, but he didn't even think about rebutting: "En."

Qin Qin nodded: "Are you curious?"

"Yes." Bai Ran suddenly retorted: "No, I just don't understand."

Qin Qin smiled and glanced at her clearly: "You like Gu Qing." After finishing speaking, ignoring Bairan's stiff expression with some mocking meaning: "I knew it a long time ago, when I first saw you, you looked His eyes were different, and after three years of absence, you suddenly appeared again, and I felt a sense of crisis at that time."

"So what, it's always better than you." Bai Ran suddenly said angrily, she couldn't understand Qin Qin's way of not taking people seriously.

The red light in front was flashing, Qin Qin skillfully parked the car in front of the zebra crossing, and the car following behind also braked at the right time, the inside of the car was a bit dim, Qin Qin ignored Bai Ran's words and continued, without any tact:

"You hate me. In fact, I don't like you very much. You are too similar to Chen Ke. Gu Qing likes this type of person. Unfortunately, Chen Ke is not a kind person. Gu Qing thinks how innocent she is."

Qin Qinman casually turned his head and smiled at Bairan, his eyes full of hostility, just as the green light on the opposite side flashed, the car started slowly again:

"Chen Ke has known for a long time that Gu Qing likes him. He won't hide it at all. It's clear that all chips are on other people's hands. He doesn't say he is calm. I asked him why he didn't like him. He said that if After confessing to being together, he still doesn't have the ability and confidence to keep the relationship going, he needs to create the right time..."

Qin Qin laughed at him at the time, what if someone else took the lead?At that time Gu Qing said, forget it, Qin Qin was a little depressed looking at his composed expression, please, don't you like him?Why can't I see it at all?You have worked so hard to prepare for so long, but people run away with others, don't you feel wronged?

At that time, Gu Qing was silent for a while, and then returned to that indifferent look. I tried my best to be responsible for my own feelings, and it had nothing to do with her.

"Women like romance. He started planning his whole life without saying a word. It's like plain water from the beginning to the end. Which woman can like it."

Bairan didn't speak, looked at Qin Qin's shrunken mouth, as if he disapproved of Gu Qing's view of love, but the expression on his face seemed to cry, and the wind was chaotic, Qin Qin said again:

"Look, it didn't take long for Chen Ke to get together with me. She came to me by herself. That woman knew that Gu Qing liked him, but she thought I didn't know. She wants fame and status. If you want love, heh... you will end up with nothing."

"...Just because Chen Ke was with you, did Gu Qing break with you?" Bai Ran was a little unbelievable. Gu Qing was not like that kind of person. The headlights of the oncoming car flickered a few times, and the white miserably dazzled the eyes, Qin Qin said as if nothing had happened:

"So Gu Qing will appreciate you, but he will never fall in love with you."

The strong wind blew Qin Qin's words into pieces, and Bai Ran didn't know if he didn't hear it, so he didn't answer. Qin Qin asked if he wanted to listen to the radio, and before Bai Ran nodded, Qin Qin turned on the car radio, yes A program about the law, Qin Qin stretched out his hand to tune a few channels, and then stopped breathing heavily after a certain voice came out.

"Hi everyone, I'm Gu Qing."

"That's right, listeners, you heard it right. Today FM19 has invited Gu Qing, the little king of the music scene that everyone is looking forward to. Are you excited to wake up from your sleep? Well, let's not talk nonsense, so next, please everyone Enter today's program with Gu Qing's voice."

The background is the auditory hallucination of Gu Qing's song, and the indifferent and lingering vocals appear and disappear, and the host begins to ask questions:

"Gu Qing, this year is the fourth year of your debut, and you have also released your fourth album, which has repeatedly set new records, so do you have anything to say?"

It was only here that Bairan realized that the previous program was being rebroadcasted, and there was a pause of three seconds before he heard Gu Qing's voice:

"Well, thank you fans and friends for your support, I will do better in the future."

"...En? Is it gone? Is it that short? Haha, I knew before that Gu Qing's speech is short and capable, and it really lives up to the name. It doesn't matter. Let's move on to the next question, what is the inspiration for this album? "

"Well, the listener, this album is me..."

Gu Qing has always given people the feeling of indifference and coldness. Of course, those fans are excluded, but his voice does not match his temperament. His voice is light and lively, even if it is plain, it still has the unique vigor of a young man. .

There was no other sound in the silent car, except for the exaggerated tone of the host, which was Gu Qing's plain but clear voice, until the host asked:

"As we all know, Gu Qing and Qin Qin are brothers with the same name, and they are also very good friends. Qin Qin also came to our show some time ago. He is a very handsome person. Gu Qing, what kind of Qin Qin is in your heart? What about people? Are you as gentle as usual in private?"

This time, Gu Qing started complaining without even thinking about it: "He's super childish in private."

"Ah? How? Can't you see it? I always thought that Qin Qin is as perfect, stable and powerful as the heroine of an idol drama!"

"Well, how should I put it, everyone has many parts, and he is the same, and what he shows to everyone is only a one-sided part. If you evaluate what kind of person he is, he should be the person I trust the most."

"This is the first time that Gu Qing has said so much besides introducing the album, okay, next..."

The most trusted person...

He thought the friendship was as solid as a rock, but he didn't know that this friendship was false and fragile, a gray sand sculpture built on lies. The love he saw was simple and beautiful, but it was just a bubble and out of reach. Before getting out of the car, Bairan suddenly asked Qin Qin:

"Do you regret it?"

The night wind at eleven o'clock was too cold, just blowing it swayingly made the blood freeze. Qin Qin watched Bairan turn and leave without saying a word, he suddenly felt extremely uncomfortable.

Does he regret it?

Qin Qin asked himself, he thought for a long time, but still couldn't figure it out, did he regret it?

He remembered that at that time, the outside world said that Gu Qing had created a miracle, such a weird and alternative style, such an ordinary person, but he almost became the object of imitation and admiration by a generation of people from both sides of the strait and three places at that time, and he represented a trend.

Although there are constant disputes and criticisms, likes and dislikes are always directly proportional, but it is undeniable that he is the big winner that everyone is looking forward to in the major ceremonies.

In four years, that young and indifferent boy has grown a lot, and he has become familiar with the camera from the cold scene at the beginning. Countless fans are screaming and chasing after him. All kinds of rumors.

But Qin Qin didn't care much about this, because no one knew that the amazing Gu Qing in front of the camera would spend a whole day at his home holding a disc in his spare time, and no one knew that he would be with himself in a deserted place. One-on-one bullfighting in the small park until the night was covered, no one knew that he was afraid of the dark, heights, and ghosts, these little-known things Gu Qing would only tell himself.

Qin Qin is complacent about this.

It's just that sometimes, Qin Qin would find it hard to breathe, but he didn't dare to say anything, he would stare at a certain place and dare not move, he was afraid that the little beast that was suppressed somewhere in his heart and screamed and broke free would be unable to breathe once it burst out. In the end, he couldn't afford the price.

He remembered that one night, after Gu Qing was kissed by him again, he lazily asked:

"Qin Xiaoran, are you gay?"

At that time, Qin Qin was slightly stunned and suddenly burst out laughing, rolling along the edge of the bed, his long hair covering his eyes, under the unscrupulous laughter was a stern guilty conscience, he didn't dare to look up, he was afraid that Gu Qing would look at him The secret that can't be hidden in those eyes is revealed, "Gu Qing, I like you, I f*ck like you" is nakedly displayed there.

But what would happen if Gu Qing found out?

Would it be disgusting for the people who were by my side for countless nights to think of myself like this?Then he looked at himself with disgust, and slowly distanced himself until there was no intersection.

He had too many worries, what happened to Tang Li that time was like a wake-up call beating himself from time to time, the pressure of public opinion, the speculation of others, the spurning of the society, and the fact that Gu Qing didn't love himself.

At that time, he always suffered from insomnia. He wanted to tell Gu Qing countless times and chose to hide it countless times. After the performance that day, Gu Qing told himself that he had collaborated with Chen Ke not long ago. It is estimated that the advertisement will be released soon. By the way, I heard that you will cooperate in the next play ?At that time, I started to lie almost subconsciously: "Really? Why don't I know, nothing, don't listen to the media's nonsense, I don't know her well."

Gu Qing also believed the words that were full of flaws, and he was undefended. In fact, Qin Qin and Chen Ke also had scandals. At that time, both of them were in the limelight. How can there be a time to be photographed.

Of course Gu Qing knew, but he never went to see and listen. Qin Qin knew what Gu Qing was thinking, even if the whole world was saying that he and Chen Ke were together, he would still choose if he didn't see it. trust yourself.

Qin Qin sometimes even prefers Gu Qing to doubt himself. Many times, he just needs to think a little more to know how unreliable his words are.

The wind in October brings the coolness of autumn, and some harsh sunlight reflects angular light on the glass door on the roadside. The truth is broken, and Gu Qing's angry eyes are on the other side. There is such a day, isn't it?

Qin Qin thought, but he was not reconciled!

I am not reconciled to coming so soon, I clearly agreed to go to Paris to see the snow together this year!

A few steps away, Qin Qin could even feel his body trembling. Gu Qing had never seen him like this. In his memory, he always stood alone, looking at the people and affairs around him with indifferent and clear eyes, and occasionally flashed when he faced himself. His evil spirit and arrogance seem like a big boy, but now those eyes are ups and downs in the darkness, it seems that they will break apart in the next moment:

"Qin Xiaoran, tell me that you don't know her well, you clearly know me...you clearly know..."

Yes, I know, I know you like her, you have her in your planned future, you have her in your shyness, your smile, your anxiety, and your complacency.

But damn, I'm jealous, that woman made you think hard without doing anything, but how can I say, I am the one who likes you so much, and I am the one who has been with you all the time.

The words in his mouth went back and forth and finally he didn't say anything, Gu Qing forced himself to look at Qin Qin calmly:

"I'll explain to you, Qin Xiaoran, tell me, and I'll listen to your explanation."

explain?explain what?

Make up a reason for leaving your feet, and then accept it tacitly, pretending that nothing happened in the future life, fearful and cautious in the boundaries of friendship, trust is like white paper, and it is crumpled when it is crumpled.

But that indifferent and arrogant Gu Qing who betrayed a hundred times once would give him a chance to explain, does this mean that he is different?

But I can't stay by your side anymore, Qin Qin thought, he couldn't bear Gu Qing saying other people's names to himself, couldn't bear the careful hugs and kisses at night, he was by his side every day She couldn't help wanting to possess him and violate him.

And he couldn't bear the consequences.

Qin Qin stepped forward and gently rubbed Gu Qing's hair as usual, the pain seemed to permeate every corner, and the flesh and blood were broken under the calm surface: "You know, Gu Qing, I will never lie to you."

Gu Qing's face turned pale in an instant, Qin Qin thought that he would never forget that look, Gu Qing stared at him firmly, those dark eyes used to have unique trust, but now they are naked hatred, That hatred seemed to be able to penetrate the soul, Qin Qin felt cold from the soles of his feet to the palms of his hands, dense pain gathered from his limbs and bones to his heart, the little beast that had been writhing and neighing was neighing its own flesh and blood, and was about to burst out of the soil , when Qin Qin was almost unable to restrain himself, he heard Gu Qing say:

"Okay Qin Xiaoran, very good."

One word at a time, cruel and decisive, the world began to stand still, as if all his strength was drained at once, he watched Gu Qing's thin and decisive back getting further and further away until he disappeared.

At the age of 26, the four-year relationship has been broken and parted ways.

In a trance, I remembered that Lixia that year, when Gu Qingwo was sitting on the sofa at home, tilting his head and laughing lightly at his own problems, the voice in the DVD player was tranceless, only Gu Qing's clear voice:

"If you like what I like, then no one will."

I don't want anyone, at that time it was clearly agreed that I didn't want anyone, but what did I do?

The mountains and rivers are long distances, the sky is high and the water is far away. On the day Gu Qing left, Qin Qin wanted to say that time is like a flood, and no one can escape wherever it passes. But now that Gu Qing has been away for so many years, how come he still hasn't been able to get out of his own world.

Regret?

Qin Qin thought, maybe!

He used the cruelest means to leave Gu Qing, but now the facts told him that even if he left, he couldn't bear to have others around Gu Qing.

Qin Qin didn't finally understand until now that Gu Qing is his heaven and his hell. He lets you see love, indulge in it, and then suffer for a lifetime.