you are my baby [rebirth]

"Is it a crime to like you? But even if it is a crime, I have reformed myself in this life." Qin Moyan spoke sharply, and continued sentence after sentence: "Or do you think that I am not worthy of living at all? People who died in the previous life are reborn. Appearing in front of you stained your eyes, so you think I still deserve to die?"

"Is that why you hurt me like this?" he asked again.

Such almost bloody words made Lu Xiye stunned and stunned. Even though he had thought about it countless times, this scene would definitely be tragic, but he never expected it to be so tragic.

Because Qin Moyan said something that he never thought about.

This let him know that the damage he had caused him was so deep, and it also made him sure that the decision to take him back to the past to repair the trauma was not wrong.

Even he himself was in so much pain that he couldn't help himself.

Qin Moyan will definitely lose control, he actually knew it a long time ago.

Because anyone who faces such a situation will definitely lose control, even if he himself cannot avoid it.

So he had thought about it a long time ago, he must let him vent well before communicating with him slowly, otherwise he might not be able to listen even if he said it.

In such a chaotic scene, he had to stay behind Qin Moyan and be the one at the helm.

But at this moment, it was all messed up.

"It's not what you said." He said, his throat was like coarse sand, and every word he uttered was so painful that his heart trembled: "Qin Moyan, you made a mistake."

His words overlapped with Qin Moyan's, and were suppressed by his calm and indifferent voice.

Qin Moyan probably didn't hear it, he seemed to be immersed in his own world, his face and lips were extremely pale, and only one pair of eyes was extremely black.

"You don't like me, I never blamed you, after all, no one can force others to like themselves," he said quietly, his tone seemed very flat: "But you don't like me and still abuse me like this, I didn't Way to forgive."

"I'm sorry, I'm probably going to disappoint you. I won't die after this setback," he said, and smiled slightly: "You probably don't understand how a person like me grows up in such a bad environment." Big ones, I don’t know how strong my resilience is, I won’t be overwhelmed after being slept on a few times.”

His eyes narrowed slightly, the moisture in his eyes stained his eyelashes, and he said very slowly: "Even if it was so difficult last time, I never thought of dying, I just had an accident."

Every word Qin Moyan uttered made Lu Xiye ache.

Like a sharp arrow piercing the heart, each arrow hits the bull's-eye, and after a heart is shot through, it will be regenerated, bringing out dripping flesh and blood.

He couldn't bear the pain and hate.

He hated Jiang Ying for torturing Qin Moyan like that, and hated fate for not allowing them to grow up together.

If Qin Moyan had grown up in the Qin family since childhood, then he would hold him in his palm and protect him.

He will be pampered so that he does not know the sufferings of the world, without such a painful and depressing side.

Qin Moyan didn't say too much, it seems that these are enough.

Over the years, he has never been a person who would use his tragic experience to gain sympathy, and he has never been a person who talks a lot.

His body moved, and he held onto the armrest of the chair with one hand, as if he wanted to stand up, but was held tightly by Lu Xiye.

Qin Moyan didn't look at Lu Xiye again, but cast his eyes on the hand he was holding.

The back of Lu Xiye's hand had a lot of blue veins due to the force. He held him very tightly, leaving deep finger marks on the back of his thin white hand.

"I want to go home." He said, trying to pull his hand out, but Lucino's strength was amazing, no matter how hard he struggled, he couldn't break free.

Obviously before this person came, he told himself happily that he had already made an agreement with his mother that he would not go home tonight.

Lu Xiye's eyes were red, and he clung tightly to him, as if grasping the last bit of hope, his voice was hoarse and choked: "I won't let go."

"Qin Moyan." He said, "Listen to me before I leave. I have never disliked you."

"Do you think it's appropriate?" Qin Moyan laughed mockingly, and said coldly, "Let go!"

Lu Xiye pursed his lips and squeezed his hand even tighter.

"You should know," Qin Moyan said, "If I really become ruthless, you may not be my opponent."

"I know," Lu Xiye raised his face towards him, "You can hit if you want, and I won't fight back."

The rain outside the window was getting heavier, crackling against the apartment windows like war drums.

Qin Moyan looked at Lu Xiye's thin cheeks, even though he was surrounded by despair, he was still so handsome.

He loves this person so much, but hates him so much.

His hand trembled slightly and he raised it, then dropped it weakly.

No need, he thought.

I don't want to love, I don't want to hate anymore, I don't even want a little bit of entanglement anymore.

He glanced sideways, and saw that the pair of scissors that Lu Xiye took away was on the cabinet behind him.

He didn't know how he got the scissors into his hands, so he focused on opening the blade, aiming at the edge of Lu Xiye's palm to cut off.

He didn't want the part that Lu Xiye was holding.

Lu Xiye always knew how cruel and decisive Qin Moyan was, but he was still frightened by his actions at this moment.

Qin Moyan's eyes were firm and cold, as if he wanted to cut off his own hand directly from the root of the palm.

The moment the scissors came over, he instinctively blocked it with his other hand.

The palm of the hand was at the open edge, and the side was caught in the cross of the scissors and pushed out forcefully.

Blood gushed out in an instant, dripping on the white dining table, mixing with the sound of the rain outside, like falling rose petals.

Qin Moyan was stunned, and let go of his hands in a daze. The scissors fell on the dining table and then on the floor. His hand moved, as if he wanted to hold Lu Xiye's injured hand, but stopped abruptly.

The blood on the table was shocking, until this moment, he seemed to really wake up.

"You hold it yourself," he said softly.

"I picked it up myself," Lu Xiye said, "It's my own problem."

He put down the injured hand, not letting Qin Moyan see it again.

He is much more mature than Qin Moyan, no matter how sad he is, he knows that now is the best time to speak.

If you speak too early, Qin Moyan's emotions will lose control, and you may not be able to listen to it. If you speak later, Qin Moyan will probably not give him another chance.

"Qin Moyan," he still held his hand without letting go, "I want to say a few words, is that okay?"

Qin Moyan's gaze was still on the blood on the table, and he slowly raised his eyelashes upon hearing this.

His eyes were empty, he didn't nod or shake his head, but cast his gaze into the endless night of rain falling outside the window.

"I have always liked you," Lu Xiye said hoarsely, "I have liked you in my last life, and it has never changed."

Qin Moyan turned around, as if he had heard a joke.

His mind was so chaotic, thousands of emotions collided non-stop, and even his reaction was a beat slow.

"Isn't it enough?" he said, "Or do you think I'm stupid?"

Many things from the previous life flashed before his eyes, he lowered his eyes, the rose fell to the ground in the action just now, and was trampled messily.

It reminded him of that day, when he and Lu Xiye were messing around in their bedroom, the messy roses that were crushed under him.

Obviously they are all roses, but they are completely different when they enter the eyes.

"Lu Xiye," he said softly, "I remember the past very clearly. You only hate me."

Lu Xiye raised his hand helplessly to support his forehead, and the corner of his forehead was stained with bright red blood.

"I didn't lie to you." Every word he uttered was bitter: "I liked Qin Moyan very much at that time, but I haven't found Jiang Suifeng yet..."

Qin Moyan was stunned, his brows froze, not understanding what he was talking about.

"I haven't finished with Jiang Suifeng yet," Lu Xiye took a deep breath, "So there is no way to start with Qin Moyan."

"Jiang Suifeng is suffering too much," he murmured, "The schoolbag he is carrying is so old that no one has used it for a long time. Maybe I already have my lover, but if I don't find him one day, I can't let go of it completely, I can't put an end to this matter, and I will hang it in my heart for the rest of my life."

His gaze turned around, his eyes were stained with tears, and his sentences were messy.

"At that time, I often thought, why did Qin Moyan and Jiang Suifeng look so similar? Do I like Qin Moyan or Jiang Suifeng? If I were with Qin Moyan regardless, what if I found Jiang Suifeng one day? What should I do then? There has to be someone who is very sad, but I don’t give up on anyone, I feel that I am not specific, I hate that kind of myself, so every time I see Qin Moyan, I hate myself and I am very afraid of his approach ,I……"

"Jiang Suifeng came first." He said in a low voice, the hand holding Qin Moyan relaxed, and he slowly lifted it up, covering his eyes.

Qin Moyan sat quietly, digesting the information for a long time.

He vaguely had an idea in his mind, but couldn't believe it, and after a while, he murmured, "What are you talking about?"

He added, "I don't understand."

"I've always liked you." Lu Xiye raised his eyes, blood red in them.

Facing Qin Moyan's surprised and shocked eyes, he reached out to hold his hand again.

"Qin Moyan," he said, "I'm sorry, I'm so confused, but in my two lifetimes, I only liked you and never liked anyone else, even if you later..."

His lips were pursed suddenly, as if he was resisting the next words, and after a while he said again: "You are gone, and I have been guarding you all the time, and I have never forgotten a day."

Qin Moyan was stunned, tears fell from his wide open eyes.

He obviously didn't cry when it was so painful just now, but now he is crying.

"I really found out that you have memories of your previous life, and it started when you were afraid of water," Lu Xiye's words finally became coherent: "I once thought very selfishly of not telling you the truth, and just living with you like this For a lifetime, but..."

"Tell me." Qin Moyan said softly.

Lu Xiye lowered his eyes, and it took a while before he spoke again: "But I really want you to know that I have never stopped loving you."

He didn't want Qin Moyan to live with that scar for the rest of his life.

Because his scar is also his scar.

Qin Moyan stared blankly at Lu Xiye's injured hand.

The bleeding slowly stopped, and a thick layer of sticky red formed at the junction of the palms and backs of his hands, which was shocking.

His expression was ignorant, as if he didn't understand at all, and he seemed to be immersed in a world unknown to others.

"I've liked you since that year." Lu Xiye's voice softened as if he was afraid of scaring him.

"Do you remember," he asked, "I was blocked in the alleyway one night, and you helped me."

"That was in City H," he recalled the crucial moment that changed his fate again: "I didn't see your face clearly, only a pair of eyes, and your old army green schoolbag."

Qin Moyan's hands tightened silently.

"Although there is very little information, because of that schoolbag, I quickly found your class and got your name. It turns out that your name is Jiang Suifeng." Lu Xiye closed his eyes sadly : "It's just that you disappeared. I don't know where you moved with Jiang Ying. I can't find you no matter what. I have been looking for many years."

"Since that year, I have been looking for you." He said again.

Because he didn't know that Qin Moyan had memories of his previous life, he had never said these words before.

Qin Moyan didn't like him at first, but he didn't say it because he felt that saying such things in that situation was a bit like using his own efforts to force him to respond to his feelings, which was no different from moral kidnapping.

Later, Qin Moyan accepted him, and he didn't say this, because there was no need to say it at that time.

Compared with the happiness they had together, those things in the past were just small episodes, so small that they were not even worth mentioning.

But now...

Qin Moyan certainly remembered that spring night, the boy he liked was blocked in an alley, and he joined the battle circle without hesitation.

That was the last life, the only time he fought side by side with him, and never again.

He never knew that he remembered himself, searched for himself...

When they met again, he was already Qin Moyan, and he thought that he had long forgotten or even never remembered that episode and that boy, let alone the name Jiang Suifeng.

He thought that the story between him and him had always been about Qin Moyan.

But it turned out not to be...

"In my previous life," Lu Xiye said, "I never knew that Jiang Suifeng and Qin Moyan were the same person. I didn't know that the person I loved was always just you, and never had anyone else."