[Tutorial] Self-indulgence

He sat in the corridor, watching Lanbo and Yiping playing in the courtyard, and focused all his attention on the conversation with that person.

That person seemed to be in a good mood recently, he thought.

[By the way, shall we go out for a walk? ...It's boring to stay at home all the time, isn't it? ] He couldn't see where that person was, but he could feel that person was beside him.Just because of this, he also became happy, and then he couldn't help saying these words.

He said this with his own intentions.

Even if he can't see zero now, he still wants to be like an ordinary couple, calling and chatting from time to time, and then making an appointment, holding hands for a date.

Zero is always by his side, even in a state that he cannot see, but he can still be satisfied.But occasionally he also wants to go out with Zero alone, and then... walking in the ordinary streets, chatting from time to time instead of caring about others.

He wanted to be with Zero one day, with no one beside him.

[Hmm, do you mean... the so-called date crushing the road? ] That person said a little uncertainly, but he answered decisively with a hum.

Yes, that's what's called...a date, not a walk among friends.What he wants is to press the road with Zero instead of two or three friends walking around and chatting on the road.

He takes a walk among friends almost every day, not only with Zero, but also Yamamoto and Kikuji.But he has never been with Zero,...it is best to be together like no one else, and then hold hands.

[...Well, I don't mind, but ah... Even if what you said just now is an invitation to a date,] the man said, and then seemed to want to defend something.

He interrupted the man's words and corrected an error in the man's words. [It’s not even, but I’m really, really inviting...] But he’s still too thin-skinned after all, even if he interrupted that person majesticly at the beginning, he still changed back to his original timid appearance at the end .

The man's sigh sounded in his ears, [Yes, yes, so I said my boyfriend, what can we do if the two of us are dating? ] As the man spoke, his tone rose. [holding hands?shoulder to shoulder?Or say boo... I mean kissing, we go out together, in the eyes of others, you are the only one who goes out alone and idles around.If you have the time to date, you might as well finish your summer homework. ]

He was silent for a few seconds, then stood up abruptly. "Mom, I'm going out for a walk, and I'll be back before dinner!" According to what he said before, he really couldn't refute that person's words.No, he can't refute it now, but at least he can fight it.

When he went out without thinking, he didn't know where he was going.

[...So, the boy is that kind of impulsive and mindless salmon. ] The man's voice seemed to sigh.

And he didn't dare to say a word.

Then he could just wander the streets like a fool, aimlessly moving forward.Then, he saw the first time in 14 years that he didn't want to see anyone... Shota-kun.

[Oh!Hello Shota-kun! ! ] Just as he thought, Zero also saw the boy, and greeted that guy very warmly.

He was dissatisfied in his heart, and wanted to move away and hide, but it was too late.

The boy seemed to have noticed him and walked straight towards him.But there was no one person or tree around, he couldn't find any hiding place, and he didn't want to run away early like a loser, so he could only stand there and wait for that person to come to him.Maybe he was too sensitive, he always felt that the boy's eyes seemed to be on top of his head, instead of focusing on him.

The boy walked up to him, looked down at him with a natural height advantage, and then shifted his gaze to the top of his head.

[haven't seen you for a long time!Shota-kun, your real name is Kazezao Shota-kun, Kazezao-kun is super charming! ] Before he could say hello first, that person couldn't wait to talk to himself there. [However, Kazezao-kun is a bright, short-faced young man, while Shota-kun is a dull, hedgehog-headed man with a sad face in brackets. ]

"...Sezaki," the boy was silent for a while, and suddenly a word popped out from the person. He didn't understand why, so he looked at the boy blankly, only to see the boy take a deep breath and said: "Sesaki, Sesaki Shota."

"Huh?" He was surprised. "You, hello. I... My name is Tsunayoshi Sawada, please give me your advice." From ordinary people's perspective, it may be that the boy suddenly introduced his name to him for no reason, but it was not the case for him.

In other words, the boy's words frightened him so much that he couldn't think at all.

[...Can this person see...] He spoke to Zero in an unbelievable whisper, but wanted to deny it the moment he said it. [No, how is that possible. ]

But that person affirmed the answer. [I can see it, the way I can see it from the beginning.Speaking of which, the guy ten years later seems to have said something remarkable about himself...] The man seemed to be thinking about something, and suddenly lost his voice.

[zero? ] He called the man's name, but got no answer. [Zero, what's wrong, Zero? ] He was overwhelmed at first, and then he had a feeling that the man seemed to be hiding something from him.

This feeling is bad, he wants to know the answer, and desperately wants to know the hidden thing.But he knew that as long as Zero was unwilling, he would not be able to know what he wanted to know.

"Hinata from Bingsheng General Hospital..." At this moment, the boy suddenly spoke.

And when the boy said this sentence, Zero's voice suddenly rose. [Don't ah ah ah! ! ]

The boy seemed to have heard Zero's words, so he closed his mouth.

He bent his mouth suddenly. "Well, Sezaki-kun. Please tell me what you wanted to say just now. I want to know, so please tell me. Ah, you can leave her alone."

[Hello!Shouldn't you be on the same front with me at this time, ah, I don't love you anymore, I don't love you at all! ] This is a common behavior of that person. Once she is forced to do something she doesn't want to say or do, she will complain about it.

So he didn't waver, but resolutely looked at Shota Sezaki who was much taller than him.

"This person... seems to have given up... the original opportunity to return to his own body?" Sezaki said this with obvious doubts, and seemed unable to understand the meaning of this sentence.

But he understood that, except for him, no one in this world could understand the meaning of this sentence so well.

[Second Olympic! ] The man's voice was full of anger at being told the secret.

And he... he was angry, angry, sad and happy at the same time.

This is an emotion that is difficult to explain in words. Although he is always a little cowardly, it does not mean that he is not sensitive or smart.On the contrary, his intuition is very keen, and he can immediately notice the key points that are difficult for ordinary people to notice.Especially when he has a very persistent idea in his heart, this intuition is sometimes so sharp that even he himself is surprised.

So almost instantly, he subconsciously understood what Zero sacrificed and gave up in the Obsidian War to choose him.I also understood why Zero would say strangely that he asked the hospital to continue treating that 'Hinata' when he was in the hospital.

[Why? ] He asked, with a dead and calm tone, [Why? ]

For him, 'Hinata' is just a code name for someone he doesn't know, and whether this person is good or bad has nothing to do with him.After all, he is someone he doesn't know. He will be sympathetic to other people's sufferings but will not have any deeper feelings, but there is no difference.

That was the person he had been with since childhood and never imagined being apart.Even if you can't see or touch that person, that person does exist beside him and grow up with him.

Humans attach a certain amount of affection to creatures that have suffered misfortune, but this affection is also divided into objects.Just like the so-called relatives and strangers, even the emotional devotion has a certain degree of intimacy.

Or to be more precise, even if you invest the same emotion in different people, the intensity of the emotion you can feel is completely different.

[...Wait, your mood is not right. ] That person still noticed his emotions in the first place as before. [Should I say it is emotion, or the thought itself gives me the feeling that something is wrong... Anyway, something is wrong. ]

"Don't think about it anymore." But the strange thing is that the man also put his hand on his shoulder at the same time, and said these words. "Thinking like that...is not right."

He was like a child who was suddenly woken up, looking around and Shota Sezaki in front of him in a daze. "……ha…?"

[I just...] He said to Zero uncertainly, [It seems a bit wrong...? ]

[It’s super wrong, what I want to say is as dark as the dark heart of an adult.Boy, if you want to be black, please don't treat me, I am only cute and sick and don't like black. ] That person used the same weird example as usual, but it gradually calmed down his mood.

He took a deep breath, and then confronted that person mercilessly, just like before. [There is no obvious difference between the two, anyway, they are all synonymous with terrible. ]

[Tch, that's because you don't know how cute you are when you're tired, the kind who say 'yuki, yuki' and then shy...wait, the sound of yuki is also...] The man suddenly thought of something and stopped in the middle of speaking down.

He nodded happily, [Yeah, the other zero I saw last time ten years later, named Yuxi, is also Yuki. ]

That person was silent, so he won the game.

[By the way, zero...] He suddenly had an idea. [Let's go to the hospital to see that body. ] He still couldn't call out the surname Hinata, even though this surname represented Zero's body.

[……oh. ] That person agreed with some reluctance.

"Uh, Sezaki-kun, I...me and her..." He didn't know how to talk to the boy in front of him who seemed indifferent and surrounded by a group of secrets, so he gestured with his hands in a panic.

The boy seemed to understand what he meant very quickly, "Well...that," after the boy nodded, he suddenly stretched out his hand to hold him hesitantly, "Can't you see her now?"

He hesitated for a while, then shook his head.

"That person..." Sezaki pointed to the top of his head, "Is it called Zero...? She is in the same posture as 'inner' now." Sezaki seemed to want to say something but didn't know how to say it. Hesitantly, "Ah, in order to protect oneself, people's hearts will always surround themselves behind their backs. It is true that ordinary people can't see their 'inner hearts', but your situation...and you..." He said at the end , just frowned, but said nothing.

Seeing Sezaki's appearance, he just scratched his head and smiled, "I don't quite understand, the situation between me and Zero is indeed very special, but even..." He wanted to say that it doesn't matter if we don't see him, as long as Zero is there It's good to be around, but he found himself looking at Sezaki but unable to say these words.

He couldn't lie, and being watched by Shota Sezaki who seemed to be able to see through people's hearts, he couldn't say such deceitful words.

In fact, he has always been afraid. When he was young, he was afraid that the person who suddenly appeared to help him would disappear. When he grew up, he began to fear that he would be replaced by the existence of that person, and he is still afraid now, fearing when that person will disappear. .

In fact, to put it bluntly, there is only one thing that he has been afraid of. ...he didn't want to leave that person, and he didn't want that person to leave.So he didn't want to disappear by himself, and he didn't want that person to disappear one day.

He hopes that his eyes can see the movement of that person, his heart can feel the existence of that person, and then he gradually desires that person to become an independent individual and continue to be with him.

He was afraid that that person would disappear without a sound, and he was also afraid that that person would gradually move away from him after possessing a body.

His emotions, which he hadn't noticed, and those emotions that he had been hiding all this time, were all seen by this boy who suddenly appeared and was very threatening to him.

[... Sezaki-kun is really special. ] He couldn't help saying that, and got Zero's approval.

[Yeah, I can see people's hearts or something... By the way, I said goodbye to Shota-kun just now, huh? ] When Zero said this, he noticed that Sezaki-kun had left without his knowledge. [But don't worry, I have said something else to someone.Because we're going to the hospital later. ] That person spoke to him in a soothing tone, using that person's inherent way to calm him down.

He nodded and walked quickly to the hospital. [……makes sense. ] He has a strange and subtle sense of relief, but also a little unwillingness.

... After all, he was in front of his imaginary love rival just now.

After he and that person arrived at the hospital, they avoided some nurses and hurried into the intensive care unit.

This is the best ward that Bingsheng General Hospital can provide, but few people come here.After all, the girl lying on the bed has been abandoned by her parents, and what keeps her alive is nothing more than the lies he taught with zero to deceive people.

He looked at the girl a little uneasy, and suddenly found that the ward was unusually quiet.

But it's no wonder.At this moment, there are only the two of them, so even if they speak into the air, no one will see it.

In this atmosphere, something strange happened in his mind.

"Zero,... can I give you a hug...?" He said cautiously, and at the same time tentatively stretched out his hand behind his head, but he got a reply that made him blush.

"It's okay, it's not like I haven't hugged you before...but you just happened to poke your hand in my chest..." The man's words were a little weak, "wait a minute, I'll go to you... in front of you."

He withdrew his hand with a stiff face, and looked forward expectantly at the same time.

——If only I could see zero.

He couldn't help having this thought, and then, something like a miracle happened.

With his back to the hospital bed, he looked at the open space in front of him without blinking, and the ground, which was nothing but his reflection, suddenly ignited with white spots of light.

The point of light rotated upwards to form a whirlwind-like object, and then the figure he had seen before slowly appeared from the whirlwind formed by the point of light.

That's zero.

He held his breath and watched the person in front of him shake his hands leisurely, then grinned at him and said, "Okay, I'll stand..." The person lowered his head and raised his finger to visually measure the distance to him.

With incredible excitement, he reached out and carefully touched the man's cheek with the tip of his finger.

Then got the stare from the man looking up at him. "You poked me in the face."

"Well, I know. Also," he looked at the man's clear face carefully, and smiled a little shyly. "Zero is so beautiful."

That person didn't have that amazing appearance, and what he had to say was a bit ordinary, but he just felt beautiful inexplicably.

The man's eyes were raised up like a fox, and the distance between his brows and eyes was what he thought was the most appropriate and beautiful.

"...It's the first time I've ever seen a guy who 'became stupid when he fell in love'." Although the man said this, his cheeks were flushed, and he rubbed his nose with the back of his hand uncomfortably. several times.

He opened his mouth and giggled, but was slapped heavily on the face by that person for no reason. "Please don't be stupid... By the way, should I try to look at this girl's body?"

"Ordinary people generally don't talk to their boyfriends in this way." He took Zero's hand away and looked at Zero with extreme aggrievedness, his eyes seemed to be dripping with water.

The man let him hold his hand, but stretched out his other hand and flicked his forehead. "When will I pass?"

"Well, Zero has always been like this." He carefully, full of joy, clasped his hand with that person's hand and clasped his fingers.

In the end, the man still looked at him with a disgusted expression, and withdrew his hand. "Don't make trouble, I'm going to try to see if I can get into this girl's body. Speaking of which, I do have a strange feeling... This girl's body is so empty, it feels like I'm not pretending to be anything..." The man As he spoke, he reached the girl's hospital bed, and tentatively stretched out his hand to poke the girl's chest.

Next, he stood aside and looked at Zero's body as it appeared at the beginning, slowly surrounded by light spots, but the only difference was that those light spots finally poured into the hospital bed and was touched by Zero. girl's chest.

He breathed lightly, and even suppressed the fear in his heart, and then saw the girl slowly opened her eyes.

"Zero?" He looked at the girl uneasily and called out the name.

The girl looked at him and opened her mouth with some difficulty. "Calling you sister!...I'm so sad right now, this body hasn't moved for a long time, I feel like I'm stuck with super glue..."

There are only zero people who can speak like this.

He couldn't help lowering his head and laughing, then inadvertently raised his head to look at Zero who already had a body, but was suddenly stunned.

That person was looking at him at the moment, and he looked a little sick, but somehow that person's pale face was combined with the unnatural blush on his cheeks, which represented a sick state, and it had a unique beauty.

What made him feel the most beautiful were those eyes.

Those dark eyes seemed to be filled with water, and at this moment his figure was reflected brightly, as if they were only filled with him.

Very beautiful, he thought, for some reason, he bent down and almost looked at that person with his forehead.

It's a pity that there are always people who don't understand the style.

"Hey, it's too close." The man snorted, breathing towards him, and then the man turned his face sideways in disgust.

He stared at Zero for a few seconds and had to admit defeat. "... Oh." He replied with a bit of regret, and with a bit of reluctance, he pulled a little distance away.

Before he could take a closer look at this body that was exactly the same as Zero and belonged to Zero, he saw that body suddenly closed its eyes, and then the light spot appeared again, and then Zero with a slightly transparent body appeared in front of him.

He couldn't figure out what happened for a while, so he had to look back and forth at the silent girl on the hospital bed and Ling who was constantly stretching her limbs on the side.

"Don't look, I can't stay any longer." The man pulled his arm, and then put a hand on his shoulder. "It's probably lying on the hospital bed all the time. This girl...that is, my body...it seems that all aspects of my body can't keep up with my current state, which is equivalent to the kind of slow tempo that can't keep up with the rhythm."

"Slow tempo?" he asked a little confused.

The man pointed to the hospital bed, "This body has been lying here for at least five years. Although I am surprised that the body is the same as a normal person, there is no shrinkage, deformation or necrosis of body functions, but there is a kind... equivalent to a newly born baby. The machine, while fine in all respects, is a bit stiff without a certain amount of movement or stimulation to make the parts break in."

"That's it..." He nodded, and then walked out with Zero behind.

The glass on the door and the tiles on the floor could not print Ling's shadow. After walking out of the ward, even if Ling stood in front of others, no one noticed her, but walked straight through.

Zero stuck out his tongue mischievously, and walked side by side with him. "Anyway, you can recover with more massage and exercise."

He looked back at the ward and nodded thoughtfully. [Then I can often come here to help with massages in the future, right? ]

[Taking advantage? ] Zero looked at him and blinked.

He shook his head hastily. [No, I don't have that idea! ] He really had no idea when he made this suggestion, but now that he was told by Zero... he didn't dare to have any idea at all.

[Okay, but it's still troublesome... Forget it, wait until your next vacation.Aren't you starting school right away?There will be too many things at that time, let's be together then. ] Said that the man bowed his head, [Super - I don't want to exercise. ]

He covered his mouth and coughed a few times, suppressed his smile, then secretly reached out and hooked the man's hand.

[Let's go? ] He turned to look at Zero.

The man looked down at the hands they held together, shrugged and smiled, but didn't break free. [Ah, go back. ]