[Tutorial] Self-indulgence

I wandered around in my own white space, and even rolled in boredom.

Every time at dinner time I feel inexplicable pain.

Ah Gang’s mother’s cooking skills are superb, and because I have conveyed the idea that Chinese food is super delicious from time to time for ten years, my mother can cook a little Chinese food.

But, I always feel like something is missing.Either there should be chili peppers here, or there should be more stewed over there, this level of annoyance that even I can't stand it has been the same for ten years.

Although I was able to unilaterally cut off my perception when Tsuna was eating, I really felt extremely uncomfortable if I didn't eat something at night.

[...Gun Ji-kun begged for a plate of pudding tonight. ]

I could feel his hand holding the chopsticks paused for a moment, and then conveyed the deep sense of helplessness to me.

Yes, I'm the type who doesn't eat dinner by myself but must have supper and snacks to make up for it.

[By the way, do you want to see Yiping ten years later is super beautiful. ] I boredly raised my eyes to look up, where the colorful twisted into a ball, and then turned into white.

Over the years, apart from being able to occasionally change the color of this space a little, I only have insignificant games and unclear past in my mind.

[……don't want. ] Tsuna, who didn't know what he was thinking before, paused before answering me, which made me even more bored.

I turned over again, this time fiddling with the cloth that covered my face. [Eh?But what I really want to see is that the little girl ten years later will become gentle and beautiful, with a wide forehead. It is said that the girl with a wide forehead is smart. ]

[Oh…]

I don’t know why the kid would have an excited discussion with me whenever I brought up the topic of ten years from now, but recently it’s been super cold.

Hmm, kind of hurt. [Too aggrieved~] I dryly hummed this Chinese song whose singer I don't remember, and felt the helplessness in Gangji's heart again.

Obviously only 14 years old, what is there to be helpless about?

I sighed, sat up cross-legged and looked up at the square space with my head up.

Once quiet, I feel a little lonely.

[zero. ]

[Um? ]

He didn't speak, I tilted my head and closed my eyes and waited for him.

[Zero, at that time, ten years later... what did you see? ] He seemed to have something to say after this sentence, but he didn't continue.

I pouted and fell down. [Seeing Kyoko, who was pregnant by you, is really scary, Tsunayoshi Sawada. ] There was a dull sound when the head hit the ground, and then circles of ripples appeared around it.

[……would not.My words, I just...]

[I don’t know how to do the surgery myself, hey, I just have a little rich theoretical knowledge.Hmph, you're actually super happy, aren't you? ] Even though he couldn't see me now, I shook my head and winked somewhere. [As you who have always had a crush on Kyoko, your future ten years later will be exactly that, with a happy ending, fame, status, power, a woman and a child who will be born soon, all of them. ] What I didn’t say is that I didn’t see my existence in Tsunayoshi that ten years later.

Maybe it was... that kind of thing.

When I knew he was Tsunayoshi Sawada, I thought about certain things, but I didn't tell this guy.I shook my head, putting those thoughts aside for a moment.My personality is the kind that likes to think too much. If I make this guy uneasy, I will feel guilty.

[I,] His voice was very calm, so calm that there was even a gloomy tone in it. [I don't think that kind of future will make me happy. ]

[oh?That's right. ] Having said that, I no longer want to continue talking with him.

Maybe his answer was beyond my expectation, or maybe it was the feeling that something was hidden in that tone that made me anxious. After that, no matter how much he said some excuses to me in his usual weak tone, I would not hesitate. Just a few casual hums in response.

This guy is definitely hiding something, in what he sees in the world ten years later.

Thinking of this, I simply closed my eyes, but before I was drowsy and ready to fall asleep, his voice sounded suddenly.

[zero!Zero zero zero! ]

I stood up irritably, and punched hard at the white square wall. [Quarrel!What's the noise!Do you think it’s because children ring the doorbell and the result is not high enough, so they can only shout zero with their mouths! ] Even if I hit it so hard, it won't hurt me.

If you want the consciousness to cause pain, you must act on the body. Although the method of directly acting on the spirit is not ruled out, this is at least my space. It would be stupid if I let myself get hurt. [If you shout, just say it directly, don’t keep quiet every time you are bluffed by me. ]

[Oh... that, it's Lanbo and Yiping. ] He submissively told me about the cause and effect between this, which made me anxious for a while.

The reason is that after the meal, Tsunayoshi took Yamamoto Prison Temple and Lanbo Ippei who followed him to the room on the second floor. As a result, Ippei's short-sighted eyes made her see Rambo as a cauliflower monster, but Rambo Instead of crying, he pretended to be a cauliflower monster happily, but was beaten and cried by Ippei with a dumpling punch.

[After Lan Bo cries, he can just be coaxed, children are like this. ]

[...No, it's a tube bomb.Lan Bo called Yiping Weiweitou, but Yiping just...]

[...! ] I quickly exchanged dominance with him, and then quickly pulled out the ten-year-old rocket launcher from Lanbo's shaggy head and pointed it at Yiping who had already grabbed Tsunayoshi's trousers.

"Wow wow wow, stupid gang!" In the end, Lan Bo cried and bumped into my waist, which made me accidentally involve myself in it.

[What a stupid family. ] I sadly express that I, who has always been quick-witted, have been lowered in IQ and forgot that there is a small one next to me, but I suddenly found out that this time I was not installed in Tsunaki’s body ten years later, but in another In the human body, it is no surprise that the person is a woman with breasts and buttocks!

[Sister!It's a girl!Wait, wait, Gang-jun, are you there? ]

[I am here…]

His voice was slightly dull, completely different from the cheerful tone I heard immediately.

I turned my face to one side and laughed dryly, and suddenly I heard a voice that seemed familiar coming from somewhere near and far. "Are you still not well? Or are you feeling uncomfortable... huh?"

At the end of the voice, there was an upward pitch, and the speaker was also stunned.

Although I only met once, I still had a deep impression on me, so I can see that this person is the boy who jumped into the river to save Xiaochun.

I suddenly felt that Gangji couldn't help but let out an exclamation, and then he suppressed his emotions tightly as if he was afraid that I would find out, preventing them from flowing to me at all.

"...It's you, and..." The man paused, and the corner of his mouth raised a slight arc. "She was ten years ago." When he said this sentence, the eyes that seemed to have no emotion seemed to be filled with water, reflecting the sunlight and shimmering.

I feel some warm emotion coming from somewhere in this body.

"I..." I tried to speak with this body, "Can you first, give me 5 minutes, just 5 minutes." I'm not sure if this person will agree to this, so I have to try it asked him in a tone.

What I didn't expect was that this person quickly gave an answer. "Okay...but be careful, here behind the courtyard," he seemed to want to make a sound, but changed the tune midway. "My wife hasn't come to tidy up this place yet, so it's a bit messy."

I nodded, and suddenly I saw a bucket of adobe at my feet and a small sapling lying on the side.

I bit the corner of my mouth and looked up at the man in embarrassment, but the man looked at me calmly and didn't say anything.

I have a feeling that this person seems to be able to see me and Tsuna, and that gaze is looking at me instead of looking at the appearance of this adult woman, let alone Tsuna who came with me from ten years ago.When I thought of this, it seemed like a voice said to me, yes, I am looking at you, all the time, just looking at you.

The man didn't speak, just looked at me, but it gave me some kind of emotion that I had never felt before.

This does not come from my heart, but the natural reaction of this body.

That body told me some kind of extremely deep love for this man, and this love even reached my thinking, and the white space that had never changed was crumbling in an instant.

I hurriedly turned my head away from looking at the man, and at the same time as I turned my head, the man walked into the room from the corridor on the creaking wooden floor.

[I said, Gangji. ] I tried my best to keep my voice steady but found that there was a little vibrato no matter what. […Do you think this is me who left your body one day...]

[would not!Didn't you promise to be together forever? ! ] His voice seemed to be accusing me, but it conveyed some kind of uneasiness. [And don’t you think it’s strange, ten years later, you and this person who had nothing to do with each other—! ]

I originally wanted to say that this person was the boy who saved Xiaochun, but after thinking about it, it is better not to say it. [Calm down, but obviously, ten years later, I have no intersection with the Mafia or anything like that. ] To be honest, I am a little envious of his uncool state.

I have maintained this state for ten years. If I don’t want to be discovered by others and make others think that Tsuna Yoshi has some kind of schizophrenia, there is no other way except to act calmly.

Tsunaji, who listened to my words, did not have the slightest idea of ​​calmness, but retorted even more excitedly. [No, no! …This must be another ten years later, it must be. ]

[other? ] I suddenly remembered Tsunayoshi's strange mood when he saw that man and the ten years after he kept silent about what he had reached. [Let me ask you, have you been to similar places before? ]

He didn't answer.

I was a little anxious, and a certain idea that had been dull in my heart was about to come out. [Say it! ] I wanted to know the answer so much, I even yelled at him.

[……right here. ] He suddenly appeared with an aggrieved tone, which surprised me a bit.

I was a little flustered, but I still tried my best to calm myself down. [Don't use that kind of crying voice, sorry, I just have an idea... Although it's just a momentary idea, I think the possibility is very high. ]

[What? ] The grievance in his voice disappeared all of a sudden, and even made me wonder if this guy did it on purpose.

[Perhaps, our state of coexistence is unique in all parallel worlds.But if I didn't appear to you in this state at that time, but as two people with separate entities... Maybe this is what the future really looks like. ] I said to him one sentence at a time, but what I didn't explain to him was another matter.

If my existence is discovered, then the possibility that the so-called Vengley family can tolerate me, and how long my existence will be able to get along with him like this.

If this is my future without Tsunakichi, or my future separated from Tsunakichi's body...

Thinking of that man, I suddenly had such a good idea.

But Tsunaji immediately denied it. [I don’t want it, I don’t want this kind of future. ]

[Hey, I'm just an example. You see, the two of us are almost shameless and impatient after getting along for the past ten years,... although it's only me.However, from a certain point of view, we are childhood sweethearts. ] I didn't know what I wanted to express when I said this sentence. [Also, look, you and Kyoko ten years later... Although you don't know it, I can tell that Kyoko is very happy.And my word...]

[That man seems indifferent, but you can also see that he is actually a nice person, right? ] I tried my best to speak in a cheerful tone, [Super fit the ideal partner I said at the time, so even if we are separated, we must be happy. ]

It must be conveyed in this way, otherwise it will not work.

In this case, even if one day my existence is discovered or even eliminated, Tsuna will have the idea of ​​'both of us are happy'.

Although I can't say that I know Tsunaki as well as my mother, but the softness and kindness of this child's heart, at least I can proudly say that I know more than others.So at least let this child believe the lie that both of them will be happy from now on, and I can bear the tragic ending that one of them will be wiped out alone.

Do I occasionally have this hero complex?

I couldn't help laughing at myself. [You see, even though we are separated, we are still very happy. ]

[I do not want. ] He is not as muffled as before, but severely denies what I said about the future.

I'm also a little impatient, I'm not the kind of character who can repeat a sentence countless times, so I just asked in a cold tone. [Why?Tell me a reason and see if I can accept it. ]

[OK. ] His voice is a little exasperated, [If, if the reason is...]

[What is it? ]

[What if the reason is, I like you? ]

This time, it was finally my turn to be speechless.

It really feels like a karmic cycle of retribution. [Ah, that's right. ] I lowered my tone. [I like you too, Tsunayoshi. ] Ten years of getting along would be impossible without any feelings. [So,] I stopped talking, but I always felt that the sentence he said contained another emotion that I thought. [...I believe you.Although I still can't imagine our future living in this state, at least I can trust my family, but you have to remember one thing. ]

I didn't wait for his answer, and spoke carefully. [One day, your governess, or even the Pengo Li family, they will discover my existence. ]

In the past ten years, I have almost watched him grow up. It is impossible for me to just do nothing like this.If I can't make his body stronger, I can't make his mind stronger, so the only thing I can do is to do my best to protect him.

Thinking about it this way, my ability is really negligible.

[It's okay, I... I will definitely protect you! ] I can imagine how difficult it is to utter such firm words from his small body, so I can't deny this courage.

[Don’t say such things, 14-year-old boys like this kind of words the most, don’t be stupid. ] What can be affirmed to him is just talking as usual, at least let him feel at ease.

[I'm serious!Really, it's not a second-degree disease, it's zero, you are a second-degree offender! ]

[Don't be stupid, stupid humans, I'm super smart! ]

Suddenly, pink smoke ignited around me, and I froze for a moment, realizing that it was a reminder that 5 minutes was coming. "It's time to go back..." I whispered in my ten-year-old voice, but saw the man come out of the house and stand five meters away from me.

I was a little embarrassed and wanted to turn my head away, but suddenly I saw his lips move.

"It's okay, I will protect you." He looked at me and seemed to say such a sentence, and it seemed that he didn't say anything, but when he said this sentence, which I could only hear vaguely, my heart suddenly felt ten years later. I twitched for a while, and then the pain spread to my internal organs at the last second, but it made me inexplicably feel that ten years later, I would be joyful, even happy.

However, in just one second, I returned to ten years ago, as if the second of that sentence was just my lucid dream.

None of the people ten years ago noticed anything wrong, they just said, ten years later, Gangji is really excellent.Even the baby lowered the hat with his hand while trying to suppress a satisfied smile.

What Tsunaji and I saw happened ten years later, only we know.

[Tsuna Yoshi, let me take care of them. ]

[Well, it's up to Zero to decide. ]

Not long after, I sent everyone away, lying on the bed and looking at the ceiling, recalling the events of the past ten years and the few words I had said to that man in those 5 minutes, and suddenly I thought of this sentence.

Some people, once missed is a lifetime.

I turned around and smiled face down, as if laughing at the inappropriateness of that sentence.Only at the end, in my dream, there was only a pile of red and black covering my vision, those are... the red that represents blood, and the black that represents death.

I had a nightmare.

The author has something to say: _(:з」∠)_I seem to be playing off again inadvertently! _(:з」∠)_ Waiting for when to play crazy, let Ling Lu Gangji forget it [gloomy face [self-respect]