self strategy

Bian Yiyang left, and only a few buddies in the dormitories on both sides knew about his departure, and he didn't know how long he had left. He didn't tell me, and I didn't ask, but suddenly one day, I didn't hear from Bian again. Yi Yang's text message.

At that time, it was still Chinese New Year, but I felt that life had lost its fun. I had a feeling that I couldn’t remember the feeling of not having Bian Yiyang. What he said to me occasionally, and the things he mentioned to me made me feel happy or sad.

I didn't feel very sad either, just looking at his QQ's darkened profile picture, I felt very empty in my heart.

The winter vacation is finally over, when Lin Yi mentioned Bian Yiyang to me, we were a little silent, but still laughing, Lin Yi said: "That boy, at first glance, looks like a little boy who is doing big things."

I don't think I can treat Bian Yiyang's departure with the same state of mind as Lin Yi, but I can't reveal anything, and Lin Yi is also laughing and joking like before, but occasionally when I calm down, I still miss him uncontrollably .

The fat guy was a little surprised by Bian Yiyang's departure. Usually, he said behind his back that Bian Yiyang was long and Bian Yiyang was short, but when Bian Yiyang left, he said, "Hey, why every time I When I look in that direction, I always feel that there is a handsome guy who will catch my eye?"

But the new roommate soon took Bian Yiyang's place.

What I didn't expect was that Bian Yiyang's departure also exploded in our school's post bar.

Here's the girl's reaction:

"Hey, it's not easy to have a tall, rich and handsome... I didn't have enough eyes, but I left, sad..."

"When I was in school, I thought I could be closer to a male god. Now that the male god is not in school, I suddenly feel that the world is far away from me."

"Damn it! The last time I showed my little cousin his photo, my little cousin said that he was going to take the exam to this school, but he fucking left!? Teasing me!"

Here's the man's reaction:

"It's finally gone, and finally no one is robbing me of my sister."

"With him here, I feel that all the girls in the school don't belong to me..."

"One more upstairs."

"I'm a male god, click me, click me."

"Upstairs is a dick."

"I don't agree to fight!"

"..."

In short, Bian Yiyang's departure made the girl feel disappointed and the boy happy.

I wanted to contact Bian Yiyang again, but I sadly found that after he went abroad, I couldn't find a way to contact him no matter what.

The phone has been changed, the Internet is no longer available, and QQ is no longer logged in. Even the online games that I want to play, if I want to meet him, I have to use the jailbreak version...

For this reason, Lin Yi downloaded a software for communicating with foreigners. I don’t know what that software is called, but that stupid Lin Yi might be able to find Bian Yiyang on it...

But time is flowing silently. Sometimes we tend to sigh that life has no ups and downs, but if we look at it faster, we will feel that when we experience it ourselves, it feels too slow.

A year later, when we were sophomores, Lin Yi and Li Anqin broke up for the first time. Li Anqin slapped Lin Yiyi in front of many people at school, calling him a useless bastard...

In the second year, when we were juniors, the fat man finally cheated on a girl on the Internet, but in the end he died after seeing the light. The thin man went to apply for a gym card, saying that he wanted to counterattack the handsome boy.

Lin Yi was still dating Li Anqin intermittently. He was so angry by Li Anqin that he couldn't eat all day long, and lost a lot of weight. Then, to vent his anger, he followed the skinny man to the gym.

This year, I don’t think I’ve changed much, I just feel a little melancholy. Occasionally I think of Bian Yiyang, knowing that he will come back this year, I’m a little happy but also a little uneasy. Sometimes I wonder if he’s already seen him outside. A bastard, forget about me, but whenever this kind of thought sprouts, I will spurn myself...how can I make myself look like a bitter woman.

For me, December of this year passed extremely slowly. I looked at the two numbers on the calendar that were more than that night, and felt that Bian Yiyang should be back.

In the third year, we are seniors.

Lin Yi finally couldn't stand Li Anqin, and broke up with Li Anqin. However, because he went to the gym with the skinny guy every day, he got a good figure. I don't know if this kid took some hormones, but he jumped two centimeters higher.

He counterattacked, and said on the post bar, "Unknowingly, our school has two more male gods!"

I got along very well with Lin Yi and the others, and I also train every day, and my figure has changed a bit. Now I finally figured out that the dressing style is suitable for Ren Qi's body, so it looks okay.

Of course, besides being handsome, we also worry about our future livelihood. That guy Lin Yi has become a book model several times after his counterattack, but he has become more and more narcissistic.

Li Anqin wanted to get back together with Lin Yi a few times, but was blocked by Lin Yi, but it could be seen that he still had a strange feeling about this woman.

During the off-duty semester of my senior year, I started to find a job. Although it was relatively smooth, every time I saw the position of "President", I always felt weird.

I think back then, I was also a president, but now, I’m afraid I’ll join the company and say: I want to be the president!He would also be taken back by the security guard as a psychopath.

At the end of the year, my classmates and I went our separate ways, and we each embarked on their own different paths. Lin Yi, Fatty and others still have a relatively close relationship with me.

I found a job, but this year, Bian Yiyang did not show up either.

Sometimes when I want to go to him, I feel that he is a dream I had, a strange and sweet dream.

Thinking about it, it is incredible that a person who has experienced the so-called "traveling and rebirth" would live such an ordinary life.

I don't know if Bian Yiyang has forgotten me, and I don't know any of his contact information. Over the years, I have read all his online activities...

He did not post a word on the Internet, not even a message.

Sometimes, I think pessimistically, maybe, for Bian Yiyang, I am just a passerby who is neither salty nor light.

After all, for me, I have known "Bian Yiyang" for more than twenty years. Since he was born, I have felt him all the time, he is me.

But for Bian Yiyang, "I" knew him and spent only one semester with him.

I think my "20 years" cannot be equated with his "one semester".

Time has the ability to dilute everything. Although I will still miss him like that, I am not sure whether the person who only stays in Bian Yiyang's heart for a short semester will be deliberately buried by time.

I have traveled to many places according to what I have always wanted in my heart, but I always feel that something is missing...

I didn't fall in love again, I don't want to, and I'm not interested, probably because my heart is small. I think, in this life, the only person I can remember and miss like this is Bian Yiyang.

It used to be Ren Qi, now it is him...

Unfortunately, he never came back.

Sometimes I really want to yell at the sky: Bian Yiyang, you are not a fucking thing!What about two years?I've been working for two fucking years!A full six years!Damn you!Lao Tzu is waiting for you, only one is waiting for you!Don't fucking tell me, you forgot!

Ren Qi's family is urging me to get married. I always have an indescribable feeling for them. After all, I have been passing through for so many years, and I have been a family member for so many years. Anyway, I have feelings...

But I told them: I'm out of the closet.

Ren Qi's mother was almost crazy at the time, and Ren Qi's father almost beat me to death. I don't know how I survived that time. I kept telling them that I like men and I am married, and I am sorry for other girls. ...

That's right, I like men, I only like Bian Yiyang.

In the end they forgave me, and now that the time has passed, it's no use struggling any longer.

The buddies are all doing well, and Lin Yi is the most capable. He created something that I don't understand. In two years, he made a lot of money.

I got a good job at the place where I worked, and I bought a car with the money. As for the house... I can't afford it now.

When I went out to play again, Lin Yi suddenly said to me when I flipped through my phone: "I think you should find a partner too, don't be influenced by me, just like a monk."

Naturally, it was impossible for me to disclose my situation to him, so I patted his head, "What do you mean being influenced by you? It's just...the right one hasn't arrived yet."

Lin Yi raised his mobile phone and took a photo of me. This kid has been doing this a lot since the counterattack. He used to take me to take a photo with him when he was in school, but now he chases me to take two photos every time. I'm not used to it.

Lin Yi fiddled with his mobile phone, and suddenly asked me: "Hey, do you want me to introduce you to a girl?"

"Huh?" I couldn't respond.

"Young girl, why don't you?" Lin Yi showed me his phone, and I saw that it was still the dating app for foreigners. I sighed secretly that this kid has a lot of perseverance, and he has been playing this since college, but I still answered the phone. Said: "No."

"I have been secretly in love with you for several years." Lin Yi lowered his head and pressed his phone, and said to me.

I was taken aback for a while by his words, and then I realized that this "family" Lin Yi is a foreign girl, not that "family".

"No, you'd better keep it for yourself." Lin Yi often made half-jokes, and what he said this time was also ignored by me.

………………

That night the company had some entertainment, and they insisted on pulling me in when they were discussing business. After I settled it in a few words, I went to the bar.

Holding the wine bottle, I poured it into my mouth, looking at the scene in front of me, I couldn't help but think of the night I fell off the cliff, I must have been drunk driving...that was the beginning of everything.

When I think of this thought, I can't stop. As a result, I drank a lot of wine that night, and I was dizzy when I got home. I dare not drink and drive again... md, I have been single all my life, always alone, and now I am drunk , there is no one to help me...

Holding the key and wanting to open the door in a daze, the neighbor has changed again recently. If it is a little girl, I don't want to scare them with my drunken appearance.

At this time, the mobile phone rang suddenly, I hadn't inserted the key into the keyhole, I was a little impatient, I couldn't help cursing secretly, then I took out the mobile phone again, my vision was not very clear, it was Lin Yi who called.

After connecting, he told me about the past, and said that the classmates came to a party and couldn't make it.

Thinking of the last class reunion, it was a bit funny when people picked up couples and got pregnant. I said: "Up and down!" so that people would make fun of me. There is no one, it seems that even the fat man has found a girlfriend...

"By the way," Lin Yi asked me suddenly, "Do you still remember Bian Yiyang?"

At that time, my hand shook, and the phone fell to the ground.

The subsequent memory was a little fuzzy, I forgot how I walked back to the room in disorder, anyway, I finally lay down on the bed, closed my eyes, and had a dream...

The author has something to say:

I hope I didn't write so abruptly... Sorry for not updating