full of love for you

(on)

Li Xiwei only thought Li Pei's so-called arrangement was extremely ridiculous. How could he get married?

"Dad, don't you know me well enough? Others can't take away my things. Even if I don't want them, I won't give them to others. What I decide, others can't easily change."

Li Pei snorted, "Don't talk too much about everything."

Li Xiwei didn't take it seriously, "Anyway, I won't accept your arrangement, and Zheng Anning won't even think about taking my things, he can't take them away from others, and he shouldn't even think about anything else."

After he finished speaking, he didn't want to have any more meaningless conversations with Li Pei, so he turned to leave, but he caught a glimpse of a document pressed in the middle of a pile of documents on Li Pei's desk. Character.

Xu is because of being with Xiaoman. Now he is extremely sensitive to the word "dumb", and he can always catch it at a glance. He reached out and pulled out the document, and saw the full name on the document—Nancheng Sunshine School for the Deaf and Mute Charity Donation protocol.

This is the school where Xiaoman is currently working. Although Li Xiwei has only been there once, he picked up Xiaoman from get off work before and waited at the school gate for so long, so naturally he wouldn't remember his name wrong.

Li Pei was looking at something else, but when he looked up and saw the document in Li Xiwei's hand, his expression changed, but he quickly returned to normal, "Put the document down, you can go out."

Li Xiwei casually flipped through a few pages, it was just an ordinary document, nothing special, the last page was signed half a year ago, he flipped through a few more pages, and put the document back on the wooden table, "Dad, this school, Why haven't I heard you mention it before."

"There are too many charitable donation projects like this, and there are many every year. I will mention each of them to you?" Li Pei took the documents and put them in a drawer.

"Then Xiaoman works in this school, do you also know?"

Li Pei took out another newspaper from the drawer just now, and threw it on the table, "Not only do I know where he works, but I also know about his past. He said he wanted to be together forever, but he didn't even know that, you know Did he know how to speak before? He once filmed a public welfare film for children in the impoverished mountainous area of ​​​​Qiucheng, which appeared in newspapers, and he was not dumb before."

Li Xiwei asked anxiously: "Then why is he not talking now?"

As soon as he asked these words, he lowered the momentum of the vow he had just raised, and his voice became smaller and smaller.

Sure enough, Li Pei snorted lightly, "You actually come to ask me this question now, no one understands it, so what are you talking about?"

After Li Pei finished speaking, he pushed the newspaper on the table towards Li Xiwei.

Li Xiwei picked up the newspaper, the paper was already yellowed, the creases were cracked, and the four corners were worn and curled. Some words could not be read clearly, obviously it was written many years ago newspaper.

Li Xiwei glanced at the date on the newspaper. It was June 1997, 6. Sure enough, it had been many years. He twirled the lower right corner of the newspaper with his index finger and turned the newspaper over. The first page of the news took up a large area. There is a photo in the middle of the public welfare news about children in impoverished mountainous areas. There are many children on it, and they look young. The skin of each child is dark after years of sun exposure.

The most conspicuous child stood in the middle, and he recognized it as Xiao Man from the first sight. Now the shrunken version has exactly the same eyes. Xiao Man looks only six or seven years old, very thin, and not outstanding among the group of children. Wearing a burlap blouse of no discernible color, staring at the camera with confusion in his eyes, the corners of his mouth pressed down, his small movements are the same as now, when he gets nervous, his fingers will pinch the seam of his trousers and rub them back and forth.

Li Xiwei stayed on the photo for a long time, looking at Xiaoman all the time. In the end, Xiaoman's appearance in the photo gradually expanded and became his current appearance. living conditions, the children's poor school, the following dialogue is a reporter asked Xiaoman, no wonder Li Pei said that Xiaoman can talk,

Reporter: "Little friend, how old are you, have you gone to school?"

Xiaoman: "Six years old, I haven't gone to school yet."

Reporter: "Then what do you usually do?"

Xiao Man: "Go up the mountain to collect herbs with my sister."

Reporter: "Is there anyone else at home?"

Xiao Man: "Mom, Dad, and sister."

Reporter: "What do parents do?"

Xiaoman: "Dad grows wheat, mother is lame and at home, sister doesn't go to school, but is also at home..."

……

Only then did Li Xiwei know that Xiao Man had many family members. Xiao Man had never told him about his family and friends, and he had never asked about them himself.

When Li Xiwei came out of Li Pei's office, he was still holding the old newspaper in his hand. Before leaving the old house, he went back to his room to find out the mobile phone and calling card that he hadn't used before. After charging it, he checked the time and thought of his grandfather It happened to be daytime over there, so I called him, and my grandfather answered quickly.

"Xiao Wei, it must be early morning, why are you still not sleeping?"

"Because I missed Grandpa, so I called Grandpa," Li Xiwei said, "How is Grandpa doing recently?"

"Grandpa is in great shape. Now he runs every day. You don't have to worry about me. It's you, how are you doing recently?"

Li Xiwei turned his phone to a foreign voice, put it on the pillow, and then lay on his back on the bed, motionless, with his legs drooping beside the bed, and said, "Grandpa, how did my mother die back then?"

Although Li Pei has already told him, he still wants to verify with his grandpa. In his memory, his mother is gentle and always has a smile on her face. She likes to tend the roses she planted in the back garden. , likes to cook for their father and son by herself, she loves her husband and son, she is so gentle and kind, Li Xiwei never put the word depression on her.

Grandpa was silent for a while on the phone, then he sighed long and lightly, as if recalling, "Did Xiao Wei know everything?"

Li Xiwei looked at the lights on the ceiling above his head, "Why didn't you tell me before?"

Grandpa is old and speaks very slowly, "At that time, you were in a coma in the hospital, and you woke up once in the middle, and fainted again when you heard the news of your mother's death. After that, you kept having a fever and talked nonsense. , I was admitted to intensive care twice, I was terrified, when you woke up, we found that you forgot a lot of things, so your father said, don’t tell you the real cause of your mother’s death, for fear of stimulating you again , so I also agreed, all the news reports back then were also withdrawn by your father, and it is not so easy to find now."

After the grandfather finished speaking, Li Xiwei was silent for a long time, and the grandfather asked him again, "Xiaowei, haven't you already applied to my school before? When are you going to come?"

Li Xiwei's Adam's apple rolled a few times, and his voice was sticky when he opened his mouth, "Grandpa, I'm going to give up the school over there and go to college in China."

"Have you made up your mind?" Grandpa asked again, "Then aren't you going to join the SU club?"

Li Xiwei's cheeks fluttered, "I play racing purely as a hobby, and I don't plan to make it a career, so it doesn't matter to me whether I get into a professional club or not. If I want to join a club later, there are a few good ones in China. They've found me before."

Grandpa could hear the regret in his tone, "You can make up your own mind. Grandpa won't interfere too much. When will you come and see Grandpa?"

Li Xiwei smiled into the phone, "Grandpa, next time I come to see you, can I bring a friend with me?"

"Girlfriend?" Grandpa asked.

"No." Li Xiwei paused, and then said, "It's a boy. He is very nice, good-looking, and well-behaved. Grandpa will definitely like it."

"It's fine if you think it's good," the grandfather didn't say much, "I'm old, I don't expect anything else, I'm just your grandson, as long as you live happily, since you said that boy is so good, you should treat him well People, don't bully him."

"It's terrible, grandpa, I'm your grandson, and I'm going to protect it now," Li Xiwei couldn't help laughing, "I know grandpa, I will, and when this is over, I'll bring him over and let him Take a look."

Li Xiwei deliberately lowered his voice when he left the old house and returned home to open the door. He thought that Xiao Man would not be disturbed, but he didn't expect that as soon as he opened the door, he saw Xiao Man walking to the entrance cabinet.

He put the key on the cabinet, and wrapped his arms around Xiao Man's waist, "It's so late, why don't you sleep, does your hand hurt?"

Xiaoman could hear the tiredness and weakness in Li Xiwei's voice, he shook his head to show that the pain was gone, and when he got close, he felt that Li Xiwei's clothes were wet, and his fingers were rubbing at the corners of his clothes.

"It's raining outside, but it's very small, it's drizzle, and I got drenched a little when I came back," Li Xiwei said, "Don't worry, I'm not riding a motorcycle."

It's fine if you don't ride, if you are unhappy, you can go home, Xiao Man added in his heart, he found a set of clean pajamas from the closet in the room, and handed it to Li Xiwei.

Li Xiwei took the clothes, "I'm going to take a shower, you go to bed and sleep first."

He came out of the bathroom and wanted to lie down directly, but Xiaoman picked him up from the bed, and he hadn't blown his hair yet.

Xiaoman found out the hair dryer and wanted to blow dry Li Xiwei's hair, but his hands were bandaged and his movements were slow. In the end, Li Xiwei took the hair dryer directly, "You can't do it, I'll blow it by myself, you lie down."

Xiaoman lay obediently on the bed, listening to the whirring sound of the hair dryer, watching Li Xiwei's fingers quickly shuttle through the hair under the dim light of the bedside lamp.

After blowing his hair and turning off the light, Li Xiwei laid Xiao Man on his arm, bowed his head and kissed his hair, "Xiao Man, my birthday is coming, nineteen..."

Li Xiwei was sleepy at first, but when he said this, he remembered that he was still Li Ran, and the words came to his lips bitterly, "It's my 21st birthday, you have to prepare a gift for me."

Xiaoman calculated the time, July 26th.

"My birthday is also the day I play, so don't forget to watch me play."

Xiaoman rubbed against his arm, he will never forget it.

Li Xiwei closed his eyes, seemed to be asleep, but didn't seem to be asleep, he shook his arms again in a daze, "It would be great if we, Xiaoman, could talk to me."

He didn't get a response, and said, "Xiao Man, don't like Li Ran, you just like Li Xiwei."

Originally, Xiaoman was almost asleep, but he slowly opened his eyes and half closed them.

"You repeat what I said below in your heart, I say something, and you say something silently in your heart." Before Xiaoman could react, Li Xiwei continued on his own... "I, Xiaoman."

Xiaoman did as he did, thinking silently, I, Xiaoman.

"In this life, in the future, tomorrow, and every day after that..."

In this life, in the future, tomorrow, and every day after that.

"I only like Li Xiwei..."

I only like Li Xiwei

"I don't like that Li Ran..."

Xiaoman thought it was funny, they were obviously alone, they were so sleepy, they fell asleep before repeating with Li Xiwei.

Li Xiwei let out a deep breath after hearing Xiao Man's steady breathing, "Sleep? If you fall asleep, you will fall asleep."

Originally, he wanted to ask his family, but he didn't want to bother Xiaoman to get up to get paper and pen, and fell into a deep sleep with him.

The next day was Monday, Li Xiwei got up first to prepare breakfast for Xiaoman. He was still brushing his teeth in the bathroom when he heard the phone ringing in the room. Then he remembered that he took an old mobile phone from home last night. There were very few people with the previous card number. Call again, he originally planned to re-issue the number today.

Li Xiwei rinsed his mouth, and when he entered the room, he saw Xiaoman holding the phone in his hand. He had just woken up, and his eyes were still fascinated. When he saw him coming in, he handed the phone to him.

"Hello, who is it?" Li Xiwei answered the phone.

"Brother Xiwei, I'm Su Yu."

Li Xiwei heard the voice on the other end of the phone, turned down the volume, looked back at Xiao Man sitting on the bed, turned and left the room, making sure Xiao Man would not hear it again, and asked, "What's the matter?"

"Brother Xi Wei, I want to intercede with you on Ling Chen's behalf. He drank too much, and he didn't mean it, it was just a prank..."

"He is your friend, you know in your heart whether he did it on purpose, Su Yu, don't let it happen again, otherwise, I won't let you go."

The breathing on the other side of the phone became heavier, and then Su Yu began to sob softly, "Brother Xiwei, it's unfair for me to do this, have you forgotten what happened before?"

"what's up?"

"The first time I hurt my throat, the night before I went abroad for the first time, have you forgotten?"

"I just remember that I drank too much." Li Xiwei had a bad feeling in his heart.

"You really don't remember?" Su Yu's voice trembled, as if he had been wronged a lot, "I'll send you a photo."

Su Yu hung up the phone, and Li Xiwei quickly received a multimedia message on his mobile phone. When he opened it, it was a photo of him and Su Yu. Both of them were naked, lying on the big white bed in the hotel, the quilt only Covering half of the body, the camera shot is very clear,

His attention was still on the photo, and when he felt the warm touch of the arm on his waist and the warmth of his back, he quickly turned off the phone screen.

Xiao Man glanced at him suspiciously, not knowing why he was so flustered.

"Well, my dad's phone number," Li Xiwei explained, then changed the subject in a panic, "Xiao Man, can I ask why you can't speak?"

Xiao Manhuan's hand on Li Xiwei's waist was a little stiff, and the sleepiness that had just woken up was completely taken away by his question.

"Can't you tell me?" Li Xiwei carefully avoided Xiaoman's palm, pulled his arm, and made him face himself, "Is it because of the day after tomorrow?"

Xiaoman's eyelashes drooped halfway, trembling slightly, with the tip of her tongue pressed tightly against her teeth, she shook her head slightly.

"It's not acquired, then, is it innate?"

Xiaoman nodded without hesitation this time.

(under)

The two had their own concerns, and after a few days of panic, Xiaoman's wound healed quickly, and the gauze had been removed. It was the weekend again, and he went back to the rental house while Li Xiwei was training. When he went back, the house was already covered with a layer of dust. He cleaned the inside and outside of the rental house, and finally rode a tricycle to the wholesale market on Longdong Street. He was going to buy some dolls and wool. Every summer, he had time I would knit sweaters for the children in the orphanage. From the beginning of summer, when the weather was cold in autumn, I could just wear them.

There are many people in the wholesale market on weekends. The things he wants to buy are in the store in Xiaoqian Alley of the wholesale market. There are also stalls on the street beside the entrance. There is very little space for people and cars to walk in the middle. Xiaoman rides a tricycle and stops one meter away. After a while, I finally bought all the dolls, and went to the place where I bought wool. The store I always bought before was closed today, so Xiaoman had to choose another store. After a final comparison, he returned to the first store he had been to.

The boss is an honest-looking middle-aged man with a crew cut. He doesn't talk much, unlike the enthusiastic bosses in other shops. He sits behind the counter, and when someone asks, he answers a few words. When no one asks, he just sits and waits. Watching Xiaoman choose a few rolls of wool, he finally saw a few rolls of pure white cashmere wool on the top of the shelf. He felt that this color was very suitable for Li Xiwei. He hadn't thought about what gift to give Li Xiwei at first, but now it was just right.

Knit him a sweater for autumn.

The cashmere yarn was placed too high, he couldn't reach it, so he had to look at the boss, who stood up from behind the counter and walked towards Xiaoman, only then did Xiaoman realize that he was missing an arm, the sleeve of his left hand was empty, and the right hand held the A long plastic stick with a hook on it, supposedly for picking up objects that are out of reach from high places.

When Xiaoman went to check out with all the wool, the man repeatedly compared the white cashmere yarn he had selected for Li Xiwei several times.

"This roll is not sold very much. I don't know the price. I'll go in and ask the proprietress."

It turns out that this man is not the boss, no wonder he is not very enthusiastic.

Before the man reached the connected lounge, he heard a woman's sharp and piercing roar, "I've been doing this for so many days, and I still don't remember the price. I've never seen anyone more stupid than you."

Xiao Man was taken aback when he heard this sound, and then he heard the sound of wood hitting the ground.

He recognized this voice, it was Lin Hong, Xiaoman had been thinking about it since the last time he met him in the hospital.

Lin Hong, who was on crutches, saw that the person standing in the shop was Xiao Man, and her voice became sharper, "Xiao Man, why are you here again?"

Lin Hong's voice was the same as in the hospital last time, with undisguised disgust, "Are you here to buy wool? I won't sell it to you. You can go and keep the things."

Xiao Man didn't move, and looked at the injury on Lin Hong's leg, thinking that she must not have been hospitalized in the end, otherwise after so much time, she wouldn't have recovered, he was afraid that Lin Hong would pick up the crutches and chase him away in the next second, Quickly took out a pen and paper from his pocket, and wrote: "Sister, are your legs okay?"

Lin Hong stared blankly at the word "sister" for a long time. No one has called him "sister" for many years, and every time Xiaoman called "sister" before, it became a nightmare in the middle of the night.

"Don't call me sister." After staring at the word for a long time, Lin Hong denied it loudly. She turned around on crutches, hunched over, and walked through the corridor to go back. Go to the lounge.

The man next to him wanted to stretch out his hand, but she threw it away, "You don't need to help me, just take a good look at the store."

Xiao Man followed Lin Hong in front of the lounge, but only dared to stand in the corridor, not following into the room.

After an unknown amount of time, Lin Hong opened the door from the inside, and Xiao Man stood with her calves stretched out excitedly, as if she was standing in a military posture during military training.

"Come in." Lin Hong said.

Xiaoman got permission, and walked into the lounge. The lounge was small, smaller than his rented house, without windows, very stuffy, with a single bed, an old sofa, and a wooden stool. "Sit." Lin Hong half-lyed and half-reclined on the sofa, resting her crutches on the head of the sofa.

Xiaoman finally sat on the stool. The legs of the stool were not evenly aligned. He just sat down and felt his body shake. Fortunately, he finally supported the corner of the bed so as not to fall down.

Lin Hong fumbled back and forth along the seams of the sofa a few times, and finally took out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.She opened the cigarette case and found it was empty, she turned her head and shouted towards the front door, "Wu Li, Wu Li, bring me a pack of cigarettes, hurry up..."

Wu Li's attention was already in the room, when he heard the sound, he searched on the cashier counter, finally found a pack of cigarettes, walked into the room quickly, and handed the cigarette pack in his hand to Lin Hong.

Lin Hong reached into the cigarette box with her fingertips, pulled out a cigarette skillfully, put it in her mouth, picked up the lighter and lit the cigarette. She squinted her eyes and took a few puffs, and soon the whole cigarette was exhausted. Take out the second and third cigarettes from the pack.

The small room was quickly filled with smoke, and Xiaoman was so choked that he coughed, but he tried his best to endure it so that the coughing sound would be quieter.

Wu Li stood aside, wanted to reach out several times, and finally moved two steps to the side of the sofa, "Stop smoking so much, it's not good for your health."

"Do I still have a body?" Lin Hong snorted coldly, "I'm going to die anyway."

The room was already dark, half of Lin Hong's face was blocked by the sofa, and half was obscured by the smoke. Xiao Man couldn't see her clearly through the smoke.

"You can't speak. Is it true? Or is it just pretending?" Lin Hong closed her eyes, her voice was much weaker than before, as if she was very tired, and she had to pause several times for a long sentence.

Lin Hong didn't intend to hear Xiao Man's answer, and asked again: "How have you been doing these years?"

"I guess you have a bad life. If you have a good life, why should I suffer from this?"

Xiao Man felt as if gravel had been poured into his chest, starting from his throat, blood was drawn from the inside to the outside.

Lin Hong looked at his painful expression, and felt much better in her heart, "Last week, when I went to the hospital, the doctor told me to go to the oncology department. Is there [-] yuan to treat my illness?"

When Xiaoman heard Lin Hong say that she had liver cancer, he felt as if a boulder had been dropped in his heart, and he couldn't breathe under the pressure. In his own pocket, if the calculation is correct, plus his card, it will not exceed 3000 yuan, or one hundred thousand. Xiao Man has never seen such money in his age, let alone take out one hundred thousand.

"No, is it?" Lin Hong took another puff of cigarette, "When I came out from home, I was 17 years old, I didn't have an ID card, and I only had three yuan in my pocket. It was originally given to me by my mother, telling me to go to the canteen to buy two yuan. An ice cream, one for you, one for me, and then I got out of the house and was tricked into going to a nightclub, you know nightclubs, they sell..."

Every time Xiaoman heard a sentence, his eyes became blurred. Finally, he wrote a few sentences on a piece of paper and handed them to Lin Hong, "Sister, I will give you money, so you can treat your illness with peace of mind."

Lin Hong still stared at the word sister, and when he finished reading, the cigarette butt caught between her fingers burned out automatically, leaving a piece of soot, she tapped the cigarette butt with her index finger, and the ash fell on the sofa.

Wu Li also saw the note and said, "Lin Hong, I can take care of you too."

Lin Hong extinguished her shaking head on the floor and threw it into the trash can next to her, "You are a disabled person, how can you take care of me? Didn't you see that I have a brother here, a brother born to my mother, it's not your turn take care of."

After Lin Hong finished speaking, she raised her eyelids and looked at Xiaoman, "I saw you in Longdong Street a year ago. You were buying dolls in the next street. Your eyes are the same as your mother's, although I haven't seen you in so many years. , but you can recognize it at a glance. When I was a child, because of you, I had to give up everything to you. If I ate your food first, Xiao Jun would beat me with a cane. I dare not tell my mother that she alone What can a disabled person do? Even if she knows, what can she do? She can't support the two of us by herself, so she has to endure it."

"After I was raped by Xiao Jun that day, I wanted to kill him. I hated Xiao Jun, and I blamed her even with you. She was cowardly and useless, but I didn't expect her to do that in the end..." Lin Hong said, Two lines of tears rolled down the smoke, and suddenly she couldn't find anyone to resent, she wiped it with the back of her hand, and continued: "Before, I was careful every day, I didn't dare to say more, I didn't dare to eat more, and I had to hide Look at Xiao Jun, pretend to smile at you, pretend to be nice to you, but I wish you would die every day in my heart, you don't know about this, do you?"

Xiaoman listened, numbly recalling the lingering nightmares for so many years, swallowing hard, how could he, at the age of six, distinguish a person who pretended to be nice, he only knew that his sister would always smile at him, the first Delicious food is always put into his mouth first, Xiao Jun scolds him and beats him, Lin Hong will always protect him in his arms, he knows that she is the best sister in the world.

"Why didn't you get cancer?" Lin Hong stared at Xiao Man, "Xiao Man, after hearing this, do you still want to treat me now?"

No matter what Lin Hong said just now, Xiaoman was thinking about how to raise [-] yuan, but Lin Hong said with a half-cold half-sneer: "You don't really believe that I have cancer, do you? Why are you still as stupid as you were when you were a child? I lied to you, I lied a lot..."