full of love for you

It started to rain outside the window, water droplets hung on the glass window, and then quickly slid down, leaving a string of rain marks, the half-open window was blown loudly by the wind, Xiaoman closed the door and window, the gray rain curtain was gone The inside and the outside can be separated, the rain is getting closer and closer, and it is close to the eyes.

The people sitting on both sides of the sofa in the room were also covered with a layer of rain. Xiaoman fingered the gap of the sofa under him, breathing carefully, and his thin shoulders floated with the breath, thinking that he would be able to touch it soon. The rain stopped, and when the sun came out, the rain and fog would naturally dissipate, but the rain outside became heavier and heavier, and the light in front of him became darker and darker. Li Xiwei on the opposite side frowned deeply, and faced the wind and rain outside the window, he made it through the hard-to-break gray.

Since Xiaoman returned home from the hospital, he tried his best to keep himself normal, and he never mentioned the women in the hospital. Li Xiwei tried to make him speak up, but Xiaoman responded in silence, and changed the topic forcefully.

Faced with Xiaoman's resistance, Li Xiwei's panic took over. He didn't know about Xiaoman's past, and Xiaoman was unwilling to bring it up to him. This kind of vacant feeling of being isolated made him a little panicked.

And all panic comes from the unknown, whether it is about the present or the past.

Li Xiwei couldn't help but think deeply: Does Li Ran know?Does Li Ran know about his past?Xiaoman didn't want to tell himself, so would he tell Li Ran?

Li Xiwei knew that he was in a dead end, unable to retreat or move forward. This was due to the guilty conscience of a counterfeit. He also knew that every time he took a step forward, the more he wanted to possess Xiaoman in the past. I wish I could travel through time and snatch all the memories of his past.

"Tell me about your childhood!"

Li Xiwei finally couldn't hold it back, this time it was no longer a question, he got up, sat beside Xiao Man, turned half sideways, wrapped his arms around Xiao Man's body from behind, rested his chin on Xiao Man's shoulder, and stretched his right hand into it. From Xiaoman's trouser pocket, he took out the pen and paper he usually used from the bottom of his trouser pocket, opened a blank page of paper, spread it flat on Xiaoman's leg, pinched the end of the black signature pen with his fingers, raised the left hand Picking up Xiaoman's wrist, stuffing the pen in his palm, and covering Xiaoman's hand with his own, maintaining the posture of teaching children to write.

"Tell me about it, I want to know, I want to know more about you."

Xiaoman's back was pressed against Li Xiwei's chest, and he felt the vibration in his chest when he spoke. The vibration spread throughout his body, his body was shackled, he couldn't move, he could only curl up and stare.

Li Xiwei leaned half of his body behind Xiaoman, his cheek against his cheek, and the corners of his lips could touch Xiaoman's ear. It stands to reason that this posture is very intimate and his voice will be very close, but Xiaoman felt that his voice was like It came from afar, traveled across mountains and seas, and when he heard it clearly, there were only fragments left, which were incomplete.

His fingers were holding the pen weakly. If Li Xiwei hadn't been using force, the pen in his hand would have fallen to the ground, and the nib might have broken. It's fine if it's broken, but if it's broken, you won't need to write.

But Li Xiwei worked very hard, no matter what, he would never fall off. Under the combined force of the two of them, the tip of the pen hit the paper, drawing a broken, curved short line, right in the middle of the blank space on the paper.

Except for the inaudible breathing, the person in front of him did not move at all. Li Xiwei felt that there was not much warmth left in the palm of his hand. He remembered that as long as he held Xiaoman's hand in his palm, he would soon have the same temperature as himself. Not this time, he couldn't cover Xiaoman's hand no matter what, he tightened his strength unconsciously.

Xiaoman's fingers were gathered together, twisted under Li Xiwei's strength, and the fingertips were quickly congested with blood, turning purple.

Li Xiwei tilted his head and looked at Xiao Man with half-lidded eyes, half of his breathtaking eyes were covered, and half of his magic power was also lost, but it was enough to make him turn the sun and the moon upside down, making black and white unclear.I can't help but feel annoyed in my heart, why every time I face him, I always walk on the verge of losing control. Even though we haven't been together for a long time, the roots seem to have been planted long ago.

I haven't met it before, so I don't know it. Now that I have met it, the roots and shoots have broken through the ground, and it is unstoppable.

Li Xiwei's strength was getting heavier and heavier, Xiaoman's patience reached the limit, and he groaned in pain, "Mmm..."

Hearing Xiaoman's voice and seeing Xiaoman's expression of patience, Li Xiwei realized that he was too strong. He let go of Xiaoman's hand in a panic, flicked his arms, stood up, "I'm going to cook."

After he finished speaking, he turned and went into the kitchen, closing the door.

Xiaoman rubbed the back of his hands that were somewhat reddened, suppressed the grievance that was gradually overflowing from the end of his eyes, blinked, and after feeling that everything was normal, he walked to the kitchen door on tiptoe, knocked on the door, and there was only one sentence from the door, "You Don't come in."

Xiaoman withdrew his hand and could only peek in through the glass window.

Li Xiwei was wearing an apron and a mask. It didn't look like he was cooking. As expected, the kitchen was filled with thick black smoke for a while, and white smoke billowed for a while. In the end, he couldn't even see half of the figure clearly, only he could hear the thud. The sound of banging pots and pans was mixed with Li Xiwei's coughing choked by the thick smoke.

Xiaoman couldn't bear it anymore, and knocked on the kitchen door again. The first few knocks were buried under the sound of pots and bowls, and the people inside couldn't hear him. He turned the doorknob, but Li Xiwei locked the door and couldn't open it. Knocked a few times.

"It will be ready in a while." Hearing the voice, Li Xiwei yelled towards the door, holding the handle of the pot with his left hand, and stirring the ingredients in the pot with a spatula in his right. Seeing the thin figure lying outside the door that could be surrounded by one arm, he sighed helplessly and said softly, "Dinner will be eaten soon."

Xiao Man waited outside the door for another full hour, afraid of any accidents in the kitchen, until all the sounds disappeared completely. When the door opened, Li Xiwei walked out with two plates in his hand, one was dark and the other was shiny green. of.

Xiao Man took the plate from Li Xiwei and brought it to the dining table. Li Xiwei took off his apron and brought out two bowls of freshly cooked noodles from the kitchen.

"Let's eat, it's the first time I'm making it, you have to try it." Li Xiwei picked up a scorched black and hard thing from the dark plate, and put it into a small bowl. know how it tastes."

Xiaoman picked up the ribs, swallowed, and put it in his mouth without hesitation. It was just as it looked, very hard, very salty, and had a strong smell of charcoal. It couldn't be ribs, but it seemed to be in a fire. Burnt stone for a long time.

Xiaoman tried his best to control his facial expression, and just about to swallow after chewing a few mouthfuls, Li Xiwei stood up from the opposite side of the table, put his fingers into Xiaoman's mouth, pulled out the ribs he swallowed just now, and threw them under the table In the trash can, "I tell you to eat it and you eat it? If it doesn't taste good, you still eat it?"

Li Xiwei's anger was high, he didn't know if he was angry with himself or Xiaoman.

You know it's not tasty, so why did you give it to me?The grievance in Xiaoman's heart was even worse, but it was soon overwhelmed by Li Xiwei's emotions.

Xiaoman watched Li Xiwei's hands hanging by his side were trembling, and the fingers that had just been inserted into his mouth were covered with black rib fragments, mixed with his saliva, and under the light, they were bright silver.

Xiaoman took out a napkin, walked to Li Xiwei's side, and wiped his fingers carefully.

"I'll ask someone to deliver the food again." Li Xiwei waited for Xiaoman to finish wiping his hands, picked up his phone, called the restaurant he frequented, and ordered a lot of light and nutritious meals.

Xiaoman originally wanted to tell him that a bowl of noodles is enough, but since he had already ordered it, he didn't say any more. When he wanted to sit back in his seat, he found that the noodle bowl in front of Li Xiwei was a bit dark in color, probably because soy sauce was added , He looked at his bowl again, the soup was clear and light yellow, without soy sauce,

Li Xiwei doesn't like to put soy sauce in the noodles, Xiaoman likes to drip soy sauce in the noodle bowl, I don't know if the mistake is intentional or not.

Xiaoman changed the noodle bowls of the two of them. Li Xiwei looked at his own noodle bowls being changed, and his face became more relaxed. After sitting down, he picked up the chopsticks and ate the noodles obediently. In the end, without exception, they were all spit out by themselves.

"What kind of bad food, it's so unpalatable." After going back and forth several times, Li Xiwei didn't move his chopsticks anymore.

After the other dishes were delivered, Xiaoman didn't have a good appetite, but Li Xiwei forced him to eat more than usual.

"Eat these, the wound will heal quickly, don't eat the food I cook in the future, even if I give it to you, don't eat it."

The rain lasted until Friday, and Li Xiwei would still go into the kitchen every day. The more times he did, the better he would be able to cook one or two edible dishes.

The wrong noodles are always wrong. Every time Li Xiwei sat on the seat with a sullen face, waiting for Xiaoman to take the noodles with soy sauce away from his eyes. The second time was all Li Xiwei's intention.

What an awkward temper, Xiaoman complained in his heart, but he never reminded him, changing the bowl again and again without getting tired.

A person's unilateral endless awkwardness, a person's unilateral endless comfort, joy is hard-won.

The author says:

Xiao Li's awkward temper started...