[Comprehensive Classics] Traveled all over Europe to demolish CP

Chapter 19 Diary of a Cannon Fodder God ([-])!

Tuesday, November [-]

"I'm planning to go to Longbourn early in the morning to inquire about Miss Bennet's recovery. Will you come with me, Fitzwilliam?" Charlie suggested impatiently after breakfast.

"Didn't you just see her the day before yesterday?"

"That means I haven't seen Miss Elizabeth Bennet for at least a day! I really, really can't take it any longer!" he argued, trying to excite my sympathy. "Come with me?" He proposed again.

"Yeah." Since Charles asked repeatedly, I had to reluctantly agree.

But it wasn't long before I was regretting my hasty decision, and then annoyed by a fleeting flinch.

I have full confidence that I can stay with Jane for 5 minutes and keep my face and heart calm, not to mention that I may not see her.

Suddenly, I wasn't sure I was looking forward to seeing her more.

We came to Meryton, and as we rode through the main street, we saw a group of girls with different hair colors coming towards us--a fat clergyman in black was acting as a flower guardian among them.

The ladies of the Bennet family looked towards us when they heard the sound of the horse's hooves. Before we took off our hats, we noticed that the eldest lady came out more and more, and asked us for help in a bold manner.

Good Charlie kindly lent her the horse, and I, quite unconsciously, said, "I'll take Miss Bennet home."

Along the way, I tried to be cautious, trying not to look at her, lest Jane have unrealistic associations.After a while, my tolerable self-control finally gave way to those bleary blue eyes.

For the first time, I had serious doubts about my control.

Next I tried to strike up a conversation, and for the first time felt deeply annoyed and frustrated with my mannerisms.I'm not bad at words, by God, just look into those smiling blue eyes and I'll find myself speechless.

Things were getting worse--I couldn't really see if she had really forgotten the purpose of coming home or if she was doing it on purpose.With Jane's occasional foolishness, forgetting her purpose is perfectly justified; but if she intends to do it—you're in total danger, Fitzwilliam Darcy.

We spent an afternoon of silence, and most of the time I was doing mental construction and mental struggle.

After leaving her, those blue eyes, sometimes at a loss, sometimes sly and flexible, stayed stubbornly in my mind, no matter how hard I tried, I refused to leave.

Abominable, Miss Jane Bennet, you must have cast a spell on me.

Tuesday 26 November

At the Netherfield ball, Charlie unexpectedly proposed to his angel, the second lady of the Bennet family.

Though I still think a Meryton lawyer's uncle, a gypsy merchant's uncle, an unseemly sister-in-law and a wretched mother-in-law are not going to help his future at all--instead of being trouble and trouble. Drag - the occasionally stubborn Charlie still thinks he wants to spend his life with his angel, not her family.He proposed without hesitation, and my persuasion had little or no effect.

Seeing the way he holds Miss Elizabeth in his hands, to the sky, I think I might also be so close to Jane... no, to my future wife, and it will never be Jane Bennet.

Damn it, Charles's waywardness and determination and happiness drive me mad with envy.

Monday, December [-]

This is the most complicated day of my life.

In the church decorated with holly and candles, my best friend was finally able to stand before God with his angel justifiably, and in the blessing of relatives and friends, became the closest companion and never separated.

And Miss Jane and I stood before God, stood under the gaze of relatives and friends, and stood before the pastor presiding over the wedding...just as the best man and bridesmaid.

Jane's dress was neat and plain, and her hairstyle was the simplest. It seemed that she had tried her best not to steal the bride's limelight, but her incomparable beauty couldn't be suppressed no matter what.

She was standing not far away, like a midsummer night's dream...

"...Marriage is needed for reproduction, it is the destination of salvation and wandering, and it symbolizes the help and comfort we should give to others in life, regardless of rich or poor. Based on the above reasons, I declare that standing in front of you The two of you are officially married!"

My heart was stabbed severely.

Why can't I be as brave as Charles, why can't I be as unscrupulous as him, why can't I be as emotional as him... under the witness of God, I will say the oath that will not change in this life.

"I don't need you to make up my mind anymore, dear Fitzwilliam, because I have Eliza!" the red-faced Charles shouted at me from the speeding carriage with his arms around Elizabeth Bentley.

Miss Elizabeth is an independent and independent girl, she can make up for Charles's weakness to the greatest extent.

Charles found his missing rib, and since then, he's finally a whole man.

At the moment when my friend's happiness reached its peak, my pain reached its peak.

Out of the instinct to relieve the pain, I called out to Jane by accident, but at the moment when I was stared at by her sea blue eyes, I once again forgot what to say, even my breathing and my heartbeat.

Your heart is with her, admit it, Fitzwilliam Darcy.

Tuesday, December [-]

You're standing on the edge of a cliff, and you can't go on like this.

I forced myself to forget, forced myself to leave.If I don't leave, I will be doomed, and the emotional impulse will make me fall into the abyss.

It so happened that Charles had some business to attend to in London, and as a friend he was obliged to help, and taking advantage of this opportunity, I left Netherfield early in the morning.

Will Jane be surprised by my sudden departure?Is this enough to dispel her expectations of me?

I think I need a while to calm down so that I can forget about that lily-like face and eyes where the sea and the sky meet.It will be a tough battle, but I believe I have enough patience and will to win.

Wednesday, December [-]

I packed up family heirlooms and jewelry worn by my mother, and took them to the jewelry store to renovate.Some of the brooches, earrings and necklaces were given as Christmas presents to Georgiana, who had come of age to wear them to complement her beauty.

This corolla inlaid with sapphires and the matching sapphire necklace and sapphire earrings were mother's favorite jewelry during her lifetime, and also a family heirloom handed down from generation to generation by the Darcy family. Every Mrs. Darcy would wear them when they stepped into Pemberley Manor... …

The pure blue matches Jane's eyes just right and I can't help but imagine how Jane would look wearing them.

For the time being, allow yourself to miss it indulgently.

Friday, December [-]

It snowed today.I took Georgiana to the park to see the snow and got lost in shame without a carriage.

It took a while to return home, Georgiana and I were both dripping wet.I can't help but remember that morning in Netherfield Gardens, the young lady appeared in front of me wearing men's trousers, with mud splashed on her calves, and her cheeks were rosy. stepped on the horse and took the reins...

Where is she now and what is she doing?Go for a walk in the snow like Georgiana and I did, and get lost again?

Never think about her again tomorrow.

Tuesday 24 December

This was the worst Christmas Eve I can remember.

Wednesday 25 December

Christmas has never bored me as much as this year.

Monday [-] January

Georgiana was just as I expected, she still played and sang all day long, and her virtues and talents were more and more outstanding every day, but she was too shy to get along with people.

I don't know when she's going to leave my wing, maybe Georgiana needs an older friend with a brighter personality to guide her?

The right candidate... The first thing I thought of was not the lively and generous Mrs. Bingley, but her eccentric sister who didn't play cards according to common sense.

Sunday, February [-]

In the morning I received a letter from Charles, who was on his honeymoon, and one word in the letter wiped out two months of self-control:

"My dearest Eliza can't wait to invite her eldest sister to London. Miss Jane is more beautiful, but even Venus is not as good as my Eliza. The thought of calling Jane who is two years younger than me Miss is my sister, I just..."

It took me a while to continue reading the letter as a flood of agitated emotions came over me.

Maybe that wasn't such a bad thing, because it gave me a legitimate opportunity to test how much of Jane's influence I had left after such a long lapse—just a day or two months.Then I will not be surprised to find that I can maintain my original demeanor in front of her, and no longer have inappropriate feelings for her.

I will not give my whole heart easily and hastily like Charles.By God, absolutely not.

Monday, February [-]

After arriving at Charles's new residence, I found out belatedly that Miss Jane will be arriving today, not today, next week.

Newly married Charles ignored my mistake, he couldn't wait to tell me how perfect his wife is, how happy his life is...but I didn't listen at all, because my mind was filled with all kinds of questions .

How has Jane changed since the last time we parted?

It is said that she is more beautiful, what will she look like?

Will she be surprised to see me?Will you feel flattered, will you have the idea of ​​moving to Pemberley?

But I firmly believe that I can overcome my crush on her, and I can.

Monday, February 24

The servant's announcement announced the arrival of the guest.I could not help feeling a little proud that I did not jump at the name "Miss Jane Bennet."

But my fists clenched.

The moment Jane entered the room, I was blinded by the sunlight at the door.When I was finally able to face her with a normal face, I found that Jane's cheeks seemed to be a little plump, and she looked completely unchanged.

I was about to say hello, but found that I was too absent-minded to have a normal conversation.

It is said that my aunt will invite us to Rosings for dinner on Sunday, but Hansford received an invitation from Rosings this evening.

I feel more and more in a trance, and after writing, I don't know what to say.