My destined love

"Rao Che committed suicide!!"

Liu Sheng on the other end of the phone was still talking, but I didn't have the mood to continue listening. At that moment, I felt like someone had tapped my acupuncture points, and I couldn't move. All the blood poured into my brain, and my limbs were cold and numb. A splitting headache.

Before I met Rao Che, I never thought that there would be a person who could affect my life.The first time I met him was not in junior high school. It was a very sweltering afternoon. I was alone in the bookstore buying English reference books for the third grade of primary school. There happened to be a sprinkler passing by on the street, and the tune like a polyphonic bell had been heard thousands of times all over.

"Hello, can you let me go?" I heard the voice raised my head, and a little boy about my height was talking to me. His cheeks were a little blush from the sun, and he looked very pink.

I moved aside, saw him pull out a reference book that was the same as mine, and turned around excitedly, waving: "Mom, here, I found it!"

"Keep your voice down, don't disturb other children's reading." His mother is very gentle, just like the mother in my dream.

"Ah..." The little boy realized that he was wrong, stuck out his tongue mischievously, said "I'm sorry" to me, and then took his mother's hand and left.

I stared blankly at this sudden scene, so envious that when I heard the sound of the sprinkler, the naughty and cute face of that child would appear in my mind.

It was the first day of junior high school when I saw Rao Che again, and he still had the maternal love that I couldn't envy, which made me very upset.Because I grew up in a complicated family, my personality is very paranoid and selfish. What I can't get, I must not see others happily getting it.This is the reason why I bullied Rao Che, I crushed his smile time and time again, every time his self-esteem was trampled under my feet, I felt a perverted sense of pleasure.

I want him to submit, and I want him to always be a weak person in front of me. When I am in a good mood, I will play tricks on him, and when I am in a bad mood, I will drag him out and beat him up.At the beginning, he would still resist, but he was no match for me in terms of size or skill at that time, and his struggling and powerless appearance was very interesting. Later, he simply resigned to his fate, and when I forced him into a corner again, he shrank back in the corner Trembling silently, eyes filled with endless fear and despair.

However, I found myself heartbroken...

On the first day of my sophomore year, I waited uneasily at the side door for two hours. The weather was hot and there were many mosquitoes.The moment Rao Che walked towards me, my heart almost jumped out.I was afraid that he would turn around and run away, so I leaned against the street lamp and didn't dare to move. When I saw him pass me by pretending to be calm, I couldn't help but snickered, because at least I could get two meters away from him within.

The days when I got along with Rao Che was not easy. At first I didn’t expect to have a deeper relationship with him, I just wanted to apologize seriously, but as the situation developed, I seemed to be a little bit out of control Feelings gone.The kiss in the board game room still feels like a dream to me. His smile and kindness to me are so beautiful that it is unreal. Treated it like it was the last day.

I really don't like Rao Che's back to me, because I always worry that one day he will leave and never come back.When I saw a bunch of scanned medical records that Liu Sheng sent me, I realized that I owed a lot.I knew that Rao Che took a year off from school in the third year of junior high school, but I didn't know that he had such a serious mental illness.

A line of words from Liu Sheng flashed in the dialog box: "If you are forced to break up after being found out by his parents, Rao Che's disease is very likely to recur, so I advise you that it is better to have short-term pain than long-term pain."

What Liu Sheng said made sense, I started to avoid Rao Che, and for the first time hoped that he didn't actually love me, and hoped that he would give up on his own initiative after alienating him for a period of time.

"Give me back the key." I chased him to the stairs and said to him indifferently, but I kept saying "don't go" over and over again in my heart.

"Oh, yes." The light in his eyes instantly went out, and the key weighed a thousand catties in my hand, making me breathless.

The elevator closed and fell, and I leaned against the door of the elevator and cried without any hope.

After a long time, I woke up after a night of cloud and rain. I felt pain from head to toe. I was lying on my side and my back was very familiar. I called him hoarsely: "Rao Che..."

"Morning." He didn't look at me, but put on his clothes with his back to me, as if he was in a hurry to leave.

My head hurt so much, I washed up and there was no one in the room, my heart sank suddenly, I hurried to the elevator, luckily he still hadn't left.

"Why are you here?" He frowned impatiently.

"Are you going?" There was wind in the corridor, and my clothes were very thin, but I couldn't take care of that much now.

He exited the elevator, wrapped my palms with warm hands, pulled me back to the room, and said, "I'm going to buy food."

"Are you coming back again?" There was a faint pain in my chest, and I waited for the answer in fear, afraid that he would say that he would never come again.

"Of course I'll come back if I buy it for you!" He answered as a matter of course.

I was so excited that I hugged him tightly: "Okay, I'll wait for you to come back."

We just made up, and the gossip tended to resurface, but he didn't care.I abandoned my job and responsibilities to play with him and be crazy with him, meeting and dating whenever I got the chance, because I knew that our time together was running out.

From Rao Che's gloomy eyes, I already knew his final choice.He hesitated in hugging me, and just said "I" before I interrupted: "Wait a minute, let me hug you one more time, just one more time." I begged him, every second before we broke up become very valuable.

"Let's break up... let's break up..." He finally said the words we didn't want to hear.

"Rao Che..." I called out his name for the last time. He was still standing in front of me, but it seemed like a light-year away. From now on, I have to accept that he no longer belongs to me.

……

All the memories flooded in like a flood. I drove the car very fast towards the direction of the city hospital. The shadows of neon trees on the side of the street flashed at a high speed, and some liquid gradually blurred my eyes.

Rao Che, if you can't come back, then let me go with you...

The author has something to say:

I'll give you everything including me

I could give up everything for you, including you